Chapter 7 - Innocent

It's been a few days since Spike kissed me. Whenever I passed him in the hall he would smile and I would grin back. I think he really felt something when we kissed but we haven't talked about it.
I'm glad because I didn't want to go through that awkward moment.
I was on my way outside with Darla and Glory to clean up around the building. Most people had to clean up the streets but all my roommates, a few others plus me had to clean the building and the area around it.
I hadn't told anyone about Spike's and my little encounter and I honestly didn't want to. I didn't want rumors going around. I felt like I was in high school and when you told one person a secret the entire school knew in 3.5 seconds.

When we got outside Cordelia of course was there. I swear something must have crawled up her ass and died. Well, I tried to ignore her as I picked up various pieces of garbage. Everyday she tormented me about something. The Kendra thing stopped because Glory and Darla would get more pissed then I would and I guess Cordy didn't want to deal with them. I don't blame her, I was grateful they were on my side. I wouldn't be able to stand against them. I knew Cordelia would start messing with me soon and I really wasn't looking forward to it.
Well, it started when I had least expected it.
She started singing.

" Buffy and Giles sitting in a tree k-i-s-s-i-n-g."
After that line she turned to me and smiled.
"So, Buff. You always stand up for the ones you love. Right. Kendra. Glory. Darla and your friend Faith. I here you two are like sisters. You would die for all of them wouldn't you? But wait. Shouldn't that include one more?" She turned to a confused Darla and Glory then she turned back to me and whispered in my ear.
"Don't worry. I can keep a secret. Guard Whore!"
With that I lunged at the brunette. Rage running through my body. I was now on top of her on the ground. How the hell could she know that? It takes a lot of work to keep a secret in this place.
I was scratching at her, pulling her hair and punching her. Darla and Glory ran up to me and Darla grabbed me around the waist pulling me away. Glory grabbed Cordelia. "Bitch!" I screamed at her with so much anger.
I was trying to get out of Darla's arms and I was reaching for Cordelia so I could strangle her. I screamed in rage at the brunette. I knew she didn't do much. But these few weeks of taunting she had put me through and I had ignored, had been building and it was now coming out.
I felt blood dripping from my lip. I guess she had gotten a lucky shot in but I didn't look half as bad as she did.
The anger wasn't decreasing and I felt like if I could just get my hands on her she would be dead.
"What the hell is going on here." I heard Spike's voice but I refused to stop trying to get my hands on Cordelia.
Before I knew it Spike had flung me over his shoulder walking away. I was still kicking and reaching for the bitch. All I saw when I was being carried away was a shocked Glory and Darla, and I really pissed off Cordelia.

"Dammit Buffy. What happened." Spike asked as he sat me down in his room. He saw the anger in my eyes.
"She saw us. She called me a whore." I said without any emotion in my voice.
Spike had wet a cloth and brought it to my lip, I flinched when it stung. He wipe away all the blood and look at me in the eyes.
"I still can't believe you killed someone. You don't seem the type." Pain raced through me at that. I wanted to tell him the truth yet I didn't want to. But at that moment I didn't care.
"I didn't kill anyone." Spike looked at me confused. "What?"
"I didn't kill anyone. My friend did and I'm covering for her."
"Buffy, you have to tell someone."
"No." I said sternly.
He didn't press the subject anymore instead he cupped my face in his hands and kissed me lightly at first then we became to caught up and our kisses became more passionate.
His lips were so warm and tender against mine and god I loved it. He picked me up and carried me to his bed. I was scared at first. It's been awhile since I was with someone but that wasn't what scared me but that this was considered wrong. Right kind of wrong.
He laid me down and I felt the mattress beneath me. He attacked by lips again as his hand trailed down my stomach and slipped beneath my pants.
His hands were so wonderful. I haven't been touched like that for years and chill raced up my spine.
His lips didn't leave mine as his fingers slipped under my panties and the curls that were there.
He took two of his talented fingers and pushed inside of me. I gasped at that. Spike looked up and smiled then leant down to kiss me again. He was fucking me with his fingers and this thumb worked my clit. God this felt so good. I was diffidently going to hell but I didn't care.
The pleasure was building up inside of me. If he just went a little faster and deeper I would bust. As if he read my mind he did exactly that.
My climax was coming and a scream escaped my lips but Spike covered his mouth with his to muffle it. I screamed in his mouth as I came. I was trying to recapture my breathe. As he kissed my neck, my forehead then on my lips again. He looked up at me. Cordelia sure would have gotten a show this time.
"Buffy." He whispered.

After that I had left for my room.

That day. Was one of the days I remembered most in my life. That was the day Spike and I had a sexual experience. It really wasn't considered sex, but it was perfect for me in the mess I was in. He seemed to make all my problems melt away.


Now I will tell you what I've done for you
50,000 tears I've cried
Screaming, deceiving, and bleeding for you
And you still won't hear me
Going Under

Don't want your hand this time, I'll save myself
Maybe I'll wake up for once, wake up for once
Not tormented daily, defeated by you
Just when I thought I'd reach the bottom

I'm dying again
I'm going under
Drowning in you
I'm falling forever
I've got to break through, I'm
Going under

Blurring and stirring the truth and the lies
So I don't know what's real and what's not
Always confusing the thoughts in my head
So I can't trust myself anymore

I'm dying again
I'm going under
Drowning in you
I'm falling forever
I've got to break through, I'm

So go on and scream
Scream at me, I'm so far away
I won't be broken again
I've got to breathe
I can't keep going under

I'm dying again
I'm going under
Drowning in you
I'm falling forever
I've got to break through, I'm
Going under
Going under
I'm going under

Authors note- Review Please. Song - Going under by evanesence