Why You Weren't Mine
Disclaimer: I don't own SD boys, Inoue does. The events that follow are not included in the original plot but enjoy anyway.
Summary: Fujima hated Maki's guts since time immemorial. He always denied that he had feelings for him but when he learned that Maki was with somebody else, it just...hurt. FujiMaki-MakiFuji. One shot. Fujima's POV. RnR!
A very simply written piece with a very mushy set of dialogues and lines and paragraphs.
A/N: This is one of my favorite pairings in the world of fanfic though it's very seldom that I write anything about these two. And now I'm in the process of resurrecting its former popularity (kase nakaka-miss talaga)... Anyway, my latest attempt to put them together; feel free to read. This is going to be so angsty with some lovey dovey crap of a love story; dramatic and (for heartless mum faces out there) even annoyingly sentimental. Whatever. Again, I don't edit my works so please just pretend that you don't see typographical and grammatical errors. Give it time to get better, okay?
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First year senior high days...
We were trashed by the league's undisputed victors at the Kanagawa Final round. My first trip to the top division was fucked terribly by the 15-year consecutive champs, Kainan. The captain was afraid of them; he said that the team never ran short of powerful players; the older line up just cashed in their last years but of course some good ones, the best ones from the junior league, never ceased to pour in in front of Kainandai's door. Under that circumstance, Kainan never failed to attend the Inter High Competition. Even their rotational play was comparable to the Western pros; always efficient from the perimeter and the paint. Of course, they were always supplied with reliable bodies to work on both ends of their offense. Well, nothing worked pretty well with our defense either; I mean, sure Shoyo was a top liner but when any great team faced Kainan, nothing was really good enough. Our center back then was considered to be the premium of the prefecture but when he came pitting his guard-stance against any Kainan, the latter would just slip for another score; as easy as that and as difficult to contain.
Titans on court; that's how they were. They must've been the longest running title holder of the city.
It wasn't that Shoyo was the type of team you'd find at the bottom of the standing list; in fact it was, since I got there, always next to Kainan. Where you could search Kainan's name; Shoyo's would naturally follow. Second best; that's simply what we were. In non-eulogistic terms, first losers.
I had always been the first loser to Maki; the Nemesis. They often called it a tight rivalry between us. Not that it was anything we could fix at that point. From the moment I signed in the try out form for Shoyo's basketball club, I was immediately set up to compete with this guy. It was almost mutual like if we weren't going to start a rivalry, then our presence in our teams would be pointless. And if we weren't going to take on each other in an on court match as fierce competitors, then the game itself would be dull and linear. We were only rookies and right then, we both knew that this contest would bind us to superstardom. If it weren't for me, Maki wouldn't be as highly regarded as he was because none came near his skills in handling the ball. But if it weren't for him, I wouldn't be me either.
I was introduced to Maki by his junior high teammate who landed a vague stint in Shoyo. As far as I could recall, the exchange of words was more or less similar to this;
'Fujima here.'
'Hi.'
'What's your name again?'
'Hahahaha.'
'Excuse me, but I just asked a question.'
'Yeah. tittering. I always marvel at people who pretend that they don't even know me. As though a little self-deprecation would hurt them.'
'So do I.'
'Really, Fujima? I mean, I have nothing against them but it's just that it wouldn't change anything. As if it were THAT hard to tell who the better player is.'
'Right, but there are cases when it pays to be cool as what one's caliber implies. I guess I'm not really violating anyone's moral standards at that. And besides, the judgment of who the better player is, at the current, remains arguable. Come to think of it, we haven't been in a real time one-on-one match before.'
'Which only goes to say that...what?'
'That there's no definite conclusion yet concerning the issue.'
'I agree, Fujima-san. And perhaps, there's no way of knowing even in the future.'
'Why's that so?'
'Because I would never agree to fight you just to find out where our talents extend.'
'I'm not sure if I'm following you.'
'I mean simple enough. I don't want to fight. We could be good friends; I'd like that. But bitter rivals...it doesn't sound good to me.'
I said nothing.
'So well, Fujima-san; I hope we could be friends from this day on. I mean, it's senseless why people just try to make us, you know, hate each other when there are all the potentialities to create harmonious relationship while competing in amiable terms. You and I, I mean. So till then, my friend.'
Maki reached out his hand for a shake. I accepted.
'Bye, then. And have I told you my name?'
'Yeah. You're Shinichi Maki.'
'That's more like it, Kenji-chan.'
And we parted, and I...I was feeling dumber than I had ever been. Why was he acting so sweet like he was some diabetic prat? Kenji-chan? What in the fucking hell did that mean? Oh crap. I hated his guts from then on and I would rough this phrase again and again later.
Our 2nd year came sweeping by too soon. The captain and the subcaptain bade their farewell but not without making us promise that we would defeat Kainan; their unfulfilled mission being delegated to the next gen. It would never happen.
Kainan added another monster to their club; a sickly looking freshman who was impeccable from the three point lane. Soichiro Jin. He would add to our woes, not to mention Maki's consistent improvement. I still hated his guts. He was just infectious; too plain, too fatherly, and too old for his age. He was mature enough to out smart their captain but whereas I was a heart throb and a big hit charmer, he was styleless and serious.
But that didn't prove to be a con. Kainan was still the irrevocable champions of Kanagawa; none dared to protest. At this year, they ended up as the fifth best HS team in Japan. Of course we had part in that glory; Shoyo was also a participant in the Nationals, thanks to Toyotama High we were stripped from the 2nd round.
I remember Maki's consoling words then;
'There's always next year. I hope Kainan and Shoyo will still go together, Kenji.'
'Easy for you to say cos you're always number 1. Next year's our last, Maki-san. If we won't defeat you, then all these will lose their meaning.'
'Defeat me? Kenji, that's an attitude. I understand the tension but that's only because the fans and everybody put it there. What's pointless is this stupid animosity that these good for nothing sons of a gun place between us. We can do without it, I swear. If only...'
'If only what? Everybody says that we are equal in abilities but what I don't understand is that why Kainan has to get all the credits for being number 1; surely I can get better.'
'No question. Anyone can get better. You can. But I want this silly competition over badly; You and I, we're friends, right? Friends don't compete, Kenji.'
'They do sometimes and sometimes they always do. Dang it. Everyone wants to be the best; why can't I be that?'
'Because you didn't go to Kainan.'
'What!'
'Because you didn't go to Kainan. I always wish we were team mates.'
'You don't fucking mean that.'
'I do. I always thought that if we were together in one team then there'd be no rivalry, no bitter feuds, no stupid pressure. We would be friends for a long time, Kenji.'
'That's beside the point. Friendship is not the thing in question here; rivalry is. I'm not gonna put it in a soap box but this is that ugly. We hate to concede to some conjectures that we will end up killing each other somewhere, someday. But in fuck's truth, you and I are no more than contenders; and the only way to stop this ferocity is to throw the other from the ring. Can't you see, Maki-san? It has been fated from the beginning; Maki vs. Fujima. In the long run, that's the only thing that counts. And now you're saying that wouldn't it be fun for you and me to be in one perfect team such as Kainan? But what about the higher purpose of our existence which is competetion? Don't tell me friendship is the more prominent agent here. I'm gonna hate you for that.'
Maki didn't move his lips.
'Maki, listen. I'm so fucking sorry. But frankly, there's not much anyone can do. I don't even know if you're just lucky because you ended up in Kainan and I in some underdog basketball club called Shoyo. But for what it takes, I'm not gonna stop on lurking in your shadow. If I said something offensive or vehement that's only because you said that I should be in Kainan too. It was a low blow to tell you the truth. I apologise.'
'It's okay. What I was just trying to say is that...Fujima, I want to be with you.'
'Come again?'
'Yeah, you heard me. I wish to be with you.'
'That's silly.'
'No, it's not. I dream of you and me in one perfect team. Sometimes I have this stupid notion that I'd be happier if I went to Shoyo and have you as my team mate than to be in sky high Kainan without you there. Then I would think that, hey what if we were together in Kainan? Wouldn't it be more magical?'
'Maki, you're frightening me.'
'I'm sorry, Kenji but...that's why I always hated to be your rival.'
'Because you have this thing for me?'
'Hahahaha. Don't put it that way; say instead "feelings" not "thing". Ha ha ha ha.'
'No. That can't be what's between us. Maki, promise me your emotions won't go in the way. I will promise to do my best and when all this is over, I'll stop at my aspirations; if you turn out to be the better palyer, I'll accept that. sigh.'
'You won't give up, will you?'
'No, I won't. As long as it's YOU, I ain't giving up.'
'That's more like you, Kenji-chan.'
He smiled. A smile that was so unbecoming of him.
Ever and anon I kept all those words in track of my mind; never letting go and always recalling no matter what the situations were. Before that conversation, I was rampant and ultraliberated. I was never responsible, I was just merely a team member who nodded at the coach's orders. Off court, I was a girl magnet and took pleasurable delight in it. I played a lot in all senses of the word, frolicking in every path like a stray wind. I entertained no thoughts of being the team's next captain and I was never obliged. I was the easy going ace who always looked frilly and undaunted even in the most gruelling matches. But after that chat with Maki, I changed. That was when the advent of our last year in HS ultimately took a swing.
The transformation was swiping. Even I couldn't believe the conversion I myself had undergone. I opted to heave every ounce of accountability on my shoulders so I could tell Maki that "I'm not just a captain and ace like you; I am the manager, coach, director, prime mover, savior, and the sole vortex that keeps Shoyo going. You can't contest my energy, I pull my springs twice as much." In a way, I fooled myself into thinking that these efforts placed me a notch higher than his platform. Clearly, I was wrong.
But the other teams' potentials were undermined. In the 2nd round, our team was nibbed by the promising Shohoku High. It was all over. My last chance was flushed down to the john, never to be retrieved. Shinichi Maki won over me and I still hated his guts after all his confessions. He was right as always; we were never gonna know who the better player was. He knew it for some reason that I never understood nor will.
And also at that same year, Maki found a new love. I don't blame him. How could I? I never hinted anything that would provoke his hopes on me. I hated his guts; how could I like him back?
'I'm so sorry, Kenji. I...I don't what to say.'
'I feel like shit. You were right; there was no way of finding out.'
'Yeah. Perhaps, it's supposed to be that way. But you know, you've been the best this league has had, Kenji. So don't feel that crappy.'
'Is there some state that a person can be better than what we know as the 'best'?'
'Weird question. I don't know. Why?'
'Then I wouldn't know how to describe you. You're better than the best.'
Maki paused and no word came out.
'Shinichi, I've been wanting to tell you...I wouldn't be me without you.'
'Thanks. Same here.'
'But you ARE happy. You have everything while I...I'm a loser.'
'No you're not, Kenji.'
'Bullshit. Perhaps I should've chosen Kainan instead.'
'Hahahaha. Told ya.'
'I hate your guts, Shinichi.'
'I know. That's why I didn't persist on you.'
'Really? You make some sense after all. Ha ha ha ha.'
'Whoa. So I'm the one who's problematic? Hahahaha.'
'Maybe. Hey, Shinichi. What's to become of you after high school, huh?'
'Kaninandai University.'
'What the...? You turned down Tokyo University's scholarship offer? How come?'
'Personal reasons, Kenji.'
'Why so grave? Tell me.'
'Kiyota.'
'Kiyota? What about...'
'I'll watch over him as a promise.'
'...So, are you happy with him?'
'Very much...Kenji, I'm so sorry.'
'Don't be. It's nothing. I wouldn't have said yes to you anyway (or would I...?). Ha ha ha ha.'
'Is that so?'
'Yes, Mr. MVP.'
'So what about you? Sure with the Hokkaido University offer?'
'Yep.'
He didn't volunteer a syllable. Nothing.
And being speechless just the same, I kept my mouth taut. For a moment then...
'Kenji?'
'Yes, Shinichi?'
'You wouldn't be depressed without me, neh?'
'No, I won't.'
'Promise?'
'Yeah.'
'That's more like you, Kenji-chan.'
That was it. It ended as swiftly as the fall turns to winter. And I still hate Maki's guts. I hate him because I can't compel myself to hate him altogether. I hated it when he smiled because every time he did so, I always had my defenses down. I hated it when I couldn't be smarter than he was because it made me like him even more. I hated my pride because I couldn't bring myself to any kind of condescension. I hated it when he left because I was beyond doubt too depressed. I hate time because it flowed too quickly to allow any chance for both of us. But most of all I hate myself because I let him go.
END
A/N: Okay, I love this pairing that's why I wrote it. Maki and Fujima, I think, when put together should have at least a comparatively mature love story that would suit their characters. That's why there's no humor in the plot. Uhmmm, you may hate the sappy love plot but errr, yeah, you may just hate it as much as I hate Mary Sues. I don't think there's anything I could do to repair that; I've given my best. In that case, you're welcome to flame me but reviews would be nice of course. Anyway, thanks for reading. Have a nice day. Ciao!
