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Chapter 4

Sandy woke with a start. He squinted as his eyes adjusted to the light coming from the lamp on his desk. He looked around and realised that he was still in his study. The clock to his right told him that it was seven thirty. He had barely seen Kirsten since they kissed two days ago. She would wake up in the morning and go straight to her car. Sandy knew she hadn't been going to work as Caleb had called several times to find out where she was. Sandy would stay in his study all day next to the phone in case Seth or Ryan called. Still no word from Seth. Ryan had called a few days ago to check in. Sandy had lied and made out everything was great trying to swallow the lump that had formed in the back of his throat. Tears stung his eyes when he asked where Kirsten was. He couldn't tell him the truth. That he had no idea. He again lied to his son and said she was still at work. Ryan had accepted this and went on to tell him that Theresa was doing fine after the miscarriage. "I don't wanna leave her just yet. She's still pretty shaken." Sandy nodded and agreed, "Support her as much as she needs, Ryan." He was glad Ryan had his own problems to worry about. He didn't want Ryan to come from another broken home. He would have to fix this. And soon. Sandy rubbed the sleep from his eyes and got up to make another coffee. He saw that he had four missed calls on his cell. All from Rachel. He wanted desperately to turn off his cell but he couldn't bring himself to do it. He didn't know why. He heard a noise in the hall and he went out to inspect. He found Kirsten walking past him and out to the pool house again. He tried to ignore the stench of liquor that surrounded her.

Sandy poured a cup of coffee never taking his eyes off of the light coming from the pool house. He poured another and slowly started out of the house toward the dim light. He stopped at the door and listened. There was nothing but silence. He knocked on the door but there was no answer. He tried the handle and it turned. He pushed the door open cautiously not knowing what to expect. He found Kirsten sitting on the edge of the bed with something in her hands. Her head was down, her hair covering her expression. "Kirsten?" He said gently. She didn't move. She just went on staring. He walked toward here and put the two cups of coffee onto the dresser next to her. When he looked down at her hands he saw the picture of them at New Years that he'd thrown through the mirror. "Kirsten?" he asked again. She looked up slowly and whispered, "How could you do it?"

Kirsten lay on the bed in the pool house. It was her new sanctuary. She managed to cut herself off from the world in there. She unplugged the phone and locked the doors. Sandy couldn't get in and she was glad of that. She refused to stay in the same room as him any longer than she needed. She stared up at the ceiling imagining how many times Ryan had done what she was doing now. When she arrived home that day she saw something on the floor of the hall. She stooped down to pick it up and she saw that it was a photo of her and Sandy at New Years. He had no idea that it was being taken. She saw her mother direct the camera at them and click. They were both laughing. She couldn't remember why but she knew that at that time it was the probably the happiest they had ever been. She straightened up and made her way through the house with the photo in her hands. She passed Sandy who was standing outside his study. She saw that he had dark circles under his eyes and his hair looked greasy and unkempt. Part of her wanted to forgive him and let it all go back to normal but another part of her wanted to cut him out forever. She couldn't comprehend how he could sabotage his entire family as easily as he did.

When she reached the pool house she didn't bother to lock the doors. Sandy would never come out anyway. She settled onto the edge of the bed never taking her eyes off of the photo. It was taken when she was pregnant with Seth. Her cheeks were rosy and flushed, probably because she had just finished giving Sandy his New Year kiss. Her face was lit up as she looked up adoringly at her husband. She turned her attention to Sandy. He was grinning wildly and his eyes were sparkling. She had never seen him so handsome. It was the entire atmosphere that got her. How could two people possibly be as happy as they looked in that moment? Kirsten reached up trying to chase the runaway tears that escaped from her eyes. It would never go back to normal. It couldn't. Her thoughts were interrupted by a gentle voice in the doorway, "Kirsten?" She didn't have to look up to know who it was. She tightened her grip on the photo and let the tears glisten in her eyes. He was standing in front of her now, "Kirsten?" She looked up slowly and saw the worry etched in his face. "How could you do it?"

Now she sat in the pool house in the dark. No light was coming from the house. She just sat there in the middle of the bed, legs crossed in front of her. The photo was crumpled in her left hand. She looked down at the ball of paper. She placed it in front of her and smoothed it out as best she could but the creases were still there. No matter how hard she tried the cracks would always appear. She picked up the photo and threw it across the room. She jumped off the bed and grabbed the lamp on the bedside table and she smashed it to the ground. The bulb lit up suddenly as it shattered into a million pieces. Kirsten saw Sandy's insane grin that he wore in the photo and she over turned the mattress. She pulled out the drawers and threw them wildly across the room. She knocked the bedside table over on to its side and watched her wedding ring roll across the floor and disappear under the bed. She fell to her knees and she reached for the scrunched up photo. She could barely look at it anymore. She tore it down the middle splitting the Kirsten and Sandy in the picture forever.

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Should i keep going or has it gone downhill?