Here you go. Two updates within days of each other! I'm getting better huh? Enjoy.

Chapter 7

They drove home in silence. Kirsten could feel Ryan's sideways glances boring into her. She turned on the radio to try and drown out the buzzing in her head. Ryan turned the volume down low, "Kirsten?" he asked carefully. She turned to look at him and saw the concern on his face. "Do you wanna talk about it?" he asked.

"No." She answered simply. She turned to look out of the window.

"I think you should talk to him."

"No."

"Kirsten, this could be the perfect time. You're angry right now."

"Exactly. I don't wanna talk to him when I'm angry."

"Why not."

"Because. I can't"

"Why?"

"BECAUSE I CAN'T!"

"Kirsten. You have to let him see how much he's hurt you."

"That's exactly what I don't WANT him to see. Do you think I wanna let him see me like this? Why do you think I moved into the pool house? I don't want him to see what a mess I've become because of him and that stupid... SLUT!" Kirsten stopped, realising she was yelling at the only person keeping her sane these days, "I'm sorry Ryan. I just... can't

"Okay." Ryan pulled into the driveway and took the key from the ignition. "Want me to go check where he is? I mean his car's back so..."

"No. It's fine. I can't hide forever." Kirsten pushed open the door and steadied herself. She could feel her legs shaking beneath her. She felt as though she would fall if she took another step. Ryan took her elbow.

"You okay?" he asked, "You've went kinda white."

"No I'm fine. I'm just... I think that pizza's given me a stomachache. That's all." Ryan nodded but continued to grip her elbow. They made their way into the hall. Kirsten realised she was tiptoeing. When she saw Ryan eyeing her suspiciously she straightened up and made her way down the hall.

Sandy hung up the phone. He'd had a hard time explaining to his boss why he was leaving. He had put it down to family commitments. So that was it. He was officially unemployed, his son was pissed at him, the other was off sailing the ocean and his wife could barely stand to be in the same room as him. He ran a hand through his greasy hair and sighed loudly. He would have to fix this. He wasn't seeing Rachel anymore, not even on a professional basis. She had no way of contacting him except for the house phone and he knew she would never call that number. As he twisted his wedding band on his left hand he heard the sound of footsteps coming from the hall. He got up off his chair and pulled open the door,

"Kirsten."

She heard a croaky voice next to her. She turned and saw her husband standing in the doorway of his study. She didn't answer him. She just stared. His eyes were dark and he hadn't shaved or washed for days. She didn't know what to say. "Can we talk?" he asked. Kirsten started to walk again but Sandy grabbed her arm, "Please." Ryan, who was on her other side, gave Kirsten a nod and squeezed her hand before making his way out to the pool house. Kirsten turned to face him.

"What?" she asked sternly.

"Come and sit." He said gesturing to the couches. Kirsten didn't move.

"I don't need to get comfortable, Sandy. What do you want?"

"We need to talk about this... about us."

"What about us?"

"What's gonna happen?"

"You tell me, Sandy. You're the one who decided tear this family apart so why don't you tell me how this is gonna fix itself?"

"I'm sorry."

"Not enough." She countered.

"What do you want me to do? Whatever it is I'll do it."

"Turn back time? Oh no wait see you CAN'T do that so I guess we're screwed."

"What? No wait a second what about us?"

"As far as I'm concerned there is no us anymore." Kirsten tried to pull the words back before they came out of her mouth but she couldn't. She watched Sandy recoil in shock. His face fell and his eyes filled up. He was stung.

"But I love you." He said softly. Kirsten looked away. She knew if she looked into his eyes she would start to feel some of that love again and she wasn't ready for that yet. She was still hurting. She felt Sandy fall to his knees next to her. He reached for her hand.

"I love you, Kirsten. I love you and everything about you. I love how you reach for me in your sleep and hold on like if you let go you'd never get me back. I love how your nose crinkles when you're thinking about something and how your hair smells when you get out of the shower. I love how you're the worst cook in the world but still try so hard even though you know you're gonna mess it up. I love how you are with Ryan and Seth and I love... I love your soul and how you always follow your heart. I love how you only show me your true feelings. I love how, out every other guy in the world, you chose me. How you took a chance on a down on his luck, law student from the Bronx and gave him everything he'd ever wanted. I love..." Sandy watched as his tears fell onto his and Kirsten's hands. He wrapped his arms around her waist and placed his head on her stomach, "I love you, Kirsten."

"Sandy..."

"Please Kirsten. Please."

"It's over, Sandy."

"No. It can't be. Kirsten, without you I would have nothing. You're what keeps me from going insane. You look after me and make sure I don't screw up. How can it be over." He kneeled next to her and clung on tightly. Kirsten placed her hands on his head and ran her hands through his hair. He continued to sob into her stomach, "How can it be over?" he asked again.

"Because it is." She answered simply.

R&R