Chapter 15 - Life???

It's been a week and only two have been killed. Amy and Lindsey. No one in the place had any suspects but everyone was scared. I knew it was Angel but they still had no way to prove it. My relationship with Spike was doing great and we were in love with each other.
I hadn't told anyone about the baby and I didn't know what they would do if they found out. Would they take it away? Make me have an abortion? I had been meaning to ask Spike but every time his lips touched mine I would melt away and forget.
I desperately wanted to tell someone that would understand but I didn't know anyone who had been pregnant.
I sat in my room running over my options. I figured I could hold off telling people until I started to show.
Thinking back to the first few days I was here I remember someone who had been pregnant.
Darla. She mentioned that she had been pregnant hence killing her boyfriend. Then was when I decided to tell Darla but only her not Glory, not Cordelia, they didn't even like me that much anyways.
I decided I would tell Darla after dinner when Glory took her shower.
Yep that's what I was going to do.
I got off my bed and headed outside where I would work outside with the girls.
Walking down the hall I passed Spike. God he was so cute today. Like everyday. If only I could skip the wor... no I can't, must be strong.
He smiled.
Oh fuck it! When he walked by I looked around and saw no one. I grabbed the back of his head and kissed him.
I pulled away. He grabbed my hand and pulled me to his room. once I shut the door he was all over me.
"Shouldn't you be working right now?" He asked kissing my neck.
I nodded but didn't say a word.
He stopped and i opened my eyes at the lost of contact. I pouted.
"You stopped." i stated the obvious.
"You have to go." He said with a pout of his own. He ran his hands up my side and kissed me once more.
"Why?" I asked confused. Did he want me to go. Was he getting tired of me?
"Because they'll come looking for you if you're late and you know it."
I shrugged and looked down at his crouch. There was obvious proof that he wanted exactly what I wanted.
"You sure?" I asked grabbing hthe bulge in his pants. He moaned
"No. no we can't." I pouted again. He smiled, I knew he loved my pouts.
"You really have to go." I wasn't going to fight him on this.
"Fine." I said leaving. "Have fun in the shower."
He smiled then headed off to do just that.

I walked outside to see the other girls working. Glory came up to me.
"Buffy, why are you late?"
I shrugged really not knowing what to say. "I ran into some... unfinished business."
"Oh, we thought you became the killers next victim." Se said holding up a stick as a weapon. I jumped a little but laughed.
"And you all came looking for me. So touched.," I said bringing my hand to my heart. they laughed and continued on what they were doing.

I was walking to the bathroom for a shower when i heard a high pitched scream down the hall.
Not thinking I ran to the sound, turning corners and passing many doors till I found it.
A girl with light brown hair sitting in her room. I was the first to get there. "What happened? I asked."
She turned to face me. Phoebe.
"Are you happy!" She yelled I was taken aback. "If it wasn't for you none of us would be in this situation! There wouldn't be so many dead and the killer wouldn't be after us. Since you arrived here you have been nothing but trouble. You should have left things alone. In this place if you see something you aren't supposed to see you turn your head. Everything was going fine till you fucked everything up!" Tears were flowing from both our eyes.
"What happened!" Some one said running into the room. It was Spike and Officer Andrew.
Phoebe spoke up. "I was coming in and I was attacked from behind. I wasn't able to catch or see him but i was able to get his mask." She said holding up a black piece of material.

Everyone had examined the mask and no one figured out who is belonged to. I was still thinking about what Phoebe had said.
I was walking to Spike's room to tell him what she had said and I also wanted to talk to him about the baby. When I arrived I was confused the door was opened. I peeked in to see him kissing Cordelia on his bed.
I didn't want to see this. I brought my hands to my head. No NO No this could not be happening, not now.
Not after everything. A sharp pain raced through my heart and my stomach. My stomach clenched. Oh god. I clutched my stomach and walked down the hall till I reached the bathroom. I buried my head into the toilet spilling the contents of my stomach.
After a few minutes I just sat there how could he do this? I touch my stomach a living person was there and I had no way to help either of us out. It's daddy wasn't apart of this anymore. I couldn't handle it! I couldn't sit there and let my life go to shreds. I wouldn't let him. I won't let him take my life. If anyone's going to take my life. It'll be me. That was when I decided to do what I never thought I would ever do to myself. I got up and walked to my room like a lifeless zombie but I was quite the opposite I was full of life and just not mine.
I walked into my room and I walked straight to the closet. and reached to the top shelf. I remembered Glory kept this here for emergencies and I was glad she did. A razor.
My hand made contact with the metal. I hadn't realized Darla was there, sitting in her bed.
"Buffy what are you doing?" She asked me but I ignored her. I made my way to the bathroom with the razor in hand.

Once in the bathroom I sat in the tub figuring this would be the last place someone would look for me. My hand was shaking but I took the razor in my right and held up my left wrist. I touched the metal to my skin before jerking it to form a clean line of blood. the blood starting to spill causing my eyes to become heavier and I finally fell into unconsciousness.

Spike walked into the bathroom he thought he had seen me walk in about five minutes before. He walked in to see the blood pilling from my wrist and the razor in my hand.



Perfect by nature
Icons of self-indulgence
Just what we all need
More lies about a world that
Never was and never will be
Have you no shame, don't you see me
You know you've got everybody fooled

Look, here she comes now
Bow down and stare in wonder
Oh, how we love you
No flaws when you're pretending
But now I know she
Never was and never will be
You don't know how you've betrayed me
And somehow you've got everybody fooled

Without the mask where will you hide
Can't find yourself lost in your lie

I know the truth now
I know who you are
And I don't love you anymore

It never was and never will be
You don't know how you've betrayed me
And somehow you've got everybody fooled

It never was and never will be
You're not real and you can't save me
Somehow now you're everybody's fool

Authors note- sorry for the lack of updates. Been working on my new story. Once upon a time.
Please review I really want to know what you guys think - Song Evanescence / Everybody's fool.