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Chapter 10Kirsten hung up the phone. She was close to tears. It was hard telling a father that his sons didn't want to talk to him.
"Sandy?"
"Yeah. Kirsten?" a gruff voice answered on the other end. Kirsten realised she had woken him up.
"Sorry to wake you."
"No. It's fine. How are you?"
"I'm... I was just calling to..."
"Look Kirsten. I'm sorry."
"I know."
"I mean for leaving. I didn't want to abandon you I just..."
"I know. Look Sandy... It's about Seth. He's home."
"When?" Kirsten sensed a quiver of panic in his tone. Kirsten frowned.
"Didn't The Nana tell you?"
"Yeah she did. Sorry I should've called and told you I just figured that he'd be home already. When did he arrive home?"
"About two hours ago. He's okay. Just tired." Kirsten explained. There was silence on the other end of the phone, "Sandy? Are you there?"
"Yeah I was just... did you tell him?" This time it was Kirsten who remained silent, "Kirsten?"
"Yeah. I mean he was asking where you were and I..."
"He has a right to know."
"Exactly. Look I'm sorry if you wanted to tell him yourself but..."
"It's okay." Sandy said softly, "Can I talk to him?"
"Well... I think he's asleep he had a long journey." Kirsten tried to think of an excuse.
"It's okay." Kirsten could hear Sandy's voice lower, "What about Ryan?"
"Sandy..." Kirsten said softly, "Please you have to give them time."
"Okay."
"Okay."
"Kirsten?"
"Yeah?"
"Can you ever forgive me?" Kirsten closed her eyes before answering.
"I'll call if anything happens. And I'll talk to the boys."
"Thank you." Sandy said defeated, "Bye Kirsten."
"Bye Sandy." Kirsten slammed the phone down before he could realise that she was crying. She hated to think that she could never forgive him. She prayed to God that she would but she wasn't there yet. Maybe with time. She wiped her tears away and headed out to the pool house. She found Ryan coming out of the bathroom, "Hey."
"Hey." Ryan answered smiling, "It's good that he's back huh?"
"Yeah it's good to know both my boys are safe." Kirsten smiled. Ryan sat down on the bed and pulled off his socks.
"I was just gonna go to bed but..."
"Oh right sorry! I'll just uh... sleep well." Kirsten flustered and made for the door.
"Kirsten. I was just gonna ask if you wanted to talk to me about something. Are you okay?"
"Yeah. I guess. It's just that... I know that you're mad at Sandy but he's the closest thing to a Dad that you've got and that didn't come out the way I wanted it to. Look, Sandy, he's a good dad. He just screwed up. He didn't mean to hurt you. Please don't shut him out. He loves you." Kirsten saw Ryan's expression change to surprise, "Hey don't be so shocked. It's true. We both love you." She said laughing. Ryan smiled again.
"Yeah and I guess I love you both too."
"So you'll talk to him?"
"Yeah but only cause' you asked me too." Ryan stretched out on his bed and pulled the blankets around him. Kirsten leaned over and switched off his light. She placed a kiss on his forehead, "Night Ryan."
"Night Kirsten."
As Kirsten left the pool house she felt like she was walking on air. That was the first time Ryan had admitted his feelings for his place in the family. She found Seth standing by the doors. He had been listening to them.
"Seth. Were you eavesdropping?"
"Maybe. Look. I was listening to you guys and... I think I'll call Dad in the morning. Doesn't mean that I'm not still pissed about his sordid little affair but... he's my dad."
"The only one you got." Kirsten reminded him. Seth smiled and threw his arms over his mother's shoulder. Kirsten wrapped her arm around his waist, "I'm so glad you're home. I missed you so much."
"Yeah and I missed you. And Newport! Can you believe it?" Seth ranted on about New York until he had escorted his mother to her bedroom. "Night mom." He said as he wrapped his arms around her. Kirsten kissed him on the cheek.
"Night baby."
It was strange to sleep in an empty bed. She had slept alone before but she had always known that Sandy would be joining her later when he got home from work. She felt so small curled up on the left side of the bed. She reached her hand over to the right and grazed the top of the sheet with her hand. She slid over slightly until her head was next to his pillow. She could smell him in the sheets and pillowcase. It was a mix of salt water and coffee. She had always loved his smell. It made her miss him more. She slid over until she was on his side. She buried her head in the pillow and drifted off to sleep.
Kirsten woke the next morning with Seth lying next to her, "Morning sleepy head."
"Morning honey." Kirsten sat up and saw Ryan on the end pf the bed, "Okay this is kinda creepy. Were you watching me sleep or something?"
"Only for an hour or so." Seth said sarcastically.
"So what's up?" she asked stifling a yawn.
"Yes Ryan what is up?" Seth said turning to Ryan who was shooting him glares from the bottom of the bed. Ryan sighed before answering.
"He's coming back."
"Who?" Kirsten asked stupidly.
"Dad. Ryan and I talked to him this morning and he said it was a mistake leaving so he's coming back." Seth said in one breath before finishing, "Today."
"Today?" she said incredulously. Ryan and Seth nodded in unison.
"He said he'd stay at a motel until he can find somewhere else." Ryan informed.
"When's he getting in?"
"One."
"This afternoon?" She checked the time and saw that it was midday. How did she manage to sleep that long?
"Yeah."
"Okay." Kirsten paused. She swung her kegs out of bed and headed for the shower. She turned it on full and stepped inside allowing the water to slowly heat up. She let the water beat onto her back as she imagined Sandy in a seedy motel room. Like that one by the pier. The shellfish... the dolphin? She couldn't remember. But they were all the same. She remembered when she had stayed in one with Jimmy in Tijuana. There were cockroaches and fleas. There was no hot water or heating. She knew it wouldn't be that bad but she couldn't get the images out of her mind. She stepped out of the shower and dried off before pulling on her robe. She thought back to the night before he left. How pathetic he'd looked. She knew how sorry he was. She knew he loved her and that she loved him. It was twelve fifteen.
As she blow-dried her hair she stared at her wedding photo propped up on the dresser. She had never looked so happy. It reminded her of the New Year photo. It was torn to pieces now. Sandy's hand was placed firmly around her waist and he was staring into her eyes. Kirsten was obviously posing for the photo but Sandy didn't have a care in the world as he fixed his eyes on his new wife. Kirsten jumped to her feet and searched the room for clothes. Any clothes. She found an old wife beater that she had borrowed from Ryan a few weeks ago. She tugged it over her head and reached for a pair of Sandy's sweatpants. Her hair was still soaking wet so she scraped it back and secured it with a hair band. She grabbed her car keys and raced out of the room. Twelve twenty five.
She drove in frenzy through Newport toward John Wayne Airport. Maybe she'd make it.
Of course she could forgive him. Maybe not fully. Maybe not immediately. But with time she knew she could. Eventually.
She missed him. She missed holding his hand. She missed holding on to him through the night. She missed his smile and having his shoulder to cry on. She missed staying up all night and watching old movies with him. She missed being held in his arms and how he wouldn't let go until he knew she was okay. Most of all she missed the way he made her feel. Treasured, cared for, loved. She needed to be near him. She needed to know that he's there for her and that his love is unconditional. She wished things didn't have to change but she knew that they would.
She reached the airport and parked her car. It was 1.05. She wasn't too late. She ran into the lounge and scanned the screens for his flight. It had landed at 12.55. There was still enough time. Gate 19. She found where she was going and headed in that direction pushing past people and ignoring their protests. Thoughts swirled around her head. She wondered if she was making a mistake. What if he did it again? Was it too soon? Was two weeks too soon? She pushed those thought out of her mind as she approached the gate.
She saw him. His shock of black hair was mused and ruffled. His face was still, if not more, pale and drawn. He looked like he was going to burst into tears at any moment.
As Sandy made his way through the crowd he looked up and saw her pushing through the traffic of people. He couldn't believe his eyes. She was dressed in one of Ryan's beaters and a pair of old sweatpants. Her hair was soaked and stuck to her head. When they reached each other he realised she had never looked so beautiful. "Sandy." She said as she grabbed his hand to pull herself past a tall businessman.
"Kirsten! What are...?" Kirsten put her finger to his lips and wrapped her arms around his neck. She pulled him down toward her and kissed him softly on the lips. When she pulled back she saw tears prickling in his eyes. He grinned widely.
"Does this mean?"
"Yes. Look it's not gonna go back to normal straight away but... I'll try." She pulled him down again and brushed her lips against his. He buried his head in her shoulder and she whispered in his ear, "I love you."
fin.
Okay so it wasn't the best ending. I apologise. I just couldn't leave them broken up. It would be too much for my poor heart. Well I hope you liked it and that you'll leave a review.