Disclaimer: I own nothing, except a pen, a burnt piece of paper, and a piece of lint. The world of Harry Potter belongs to J.K. Rowling. The main idea of this story belongs to Meir Brin, who has kindly allowed me to write a Harry Potter spin-off of her wonderful story entitled Master Suelove. I highly suggest you read Master Suelove before reading my own story.
A/N: I'd like to thank Rurouni Star, my beta reader, for helping me with this fic. I'd also like to thank Meir Brin for allowing me to write the spin-off. I'd also like to thank my mom, my dad, my pet beta (his name is Poseidon), everyone else- oh...wait. This isn't the Emmy awards.
A/N Definition of the Day: Mary Sue (noun): A perfect character of a fanfiction who has un-canonical powers. Such characteristics include strange parents, weird names, limitless beauty, limitless power, and very skimpy outfits. If encountered, it is best to run as fast and as far as possible.
To Outdo a Mary Sue
Chapter 1: Angsty Back Story
"All right, she's coming. Ron, get ready."
"But Harry, she calls me "Ronniekins"!"
"Which is why you should be the one to do this. Now hurry up before Fred and George get her first!"
"All right, all right. Wingordium Laviosa!"
"Ron, you said it wrong."
"I can't help it! The Mary Sue thinks I can't cast spells!"
"Fine, I'll do it then. Wingardrium Leviosa!"
"You've been infected by her too! It's hopeless! They'll take the lead!"
Nytelilly Potter, Keeper of the Lore, Princess of the Forest, Sacred Protector of the One, Ruler of the Wizards, Fated Defeater of He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named, glided down the aisle in the Hogwarts Express, oblivious to her surroundings.
And, as often happens with Mary Sues, because Nytelilly Potter just appeared for the first time in this story, a very lengthy description of her will follow. For the sanity of all involved, this description will be told only once.
Nytelilly Potter was not merely "beautiful". This would be an insult. Nytelilly (or "Nyte," as she preferred to be called) had a waterfall of brown hair, flowing down her back in the most beautiful of ways. Her blue eyes sparkled and twinkled with wisdom far beyond her years. Her flawless, pale skin showed the delicate, yet powerful beauty behind the sparkling purple dress and matching purse. It was obvious that Nytelilly was part Veela. What most people did not know, however, was that Nytelilly was the most beautiful Veela ever to grace this world. It was a wonder that men were able to look away from her.
And...yet...there seemed to be a darker side to Nyte. Behind her eyes (perhaps where her brain should be) there lay a dark secret that no one else could possibly comprehend. Her pain was unimaginable, yet her expression showed nothing of the torment hidden deep within her soul. She knew she had to keep this darkness inside her; she must not put her brother, Harry Potter, into danger. Some part of her craved for him to know the truth- that she was the one Voldemort was after.
After several minutes of walking in slow motion to allow time for her full description to play out, Nytelilly finally arrived at Harry, Ron, and Hermione's compartment in the Hogwarts Express. With a careless wave of the Mary Sue's wand, the compartment door slid open.
"Hello there, my friends," she said, gazing around at them with her beautiful, deep blue eyes. As she turned to look at her brother, her eyes appeared to soften as if in pity. "Hello, Harry."
Harry fidgeted in his seat. "Uh...hi," he mumbled, quite obviously stricken by Nyte's beauty (or so she insisted).
"The compartment's full," Hermione snapped, glaring at her. Nytelilly knew she was far superior in intelligence than Hermione, and therefore tried to ignore the immature wizard's outbursts; after all, Hermione was just jealous.
"Of course it isn't, young one," Nytelilly replied with one of her best smiles, revealing perfectly white, sparkling teeth. "I believe I shall join you." Ron looked out the window, frowning.
Harry looked up from his "Brooms of Doom" book, and blinked several times as he looked at Nytelilly's cape...cloak...thing. Obviously he was stunned by its dazzling beauty. He frowned, secretly marking something on a piece of paper hidden inside his book.
Nytelilly tossed her hair back dramatically and sat down, carefully pulling her cape-cloak around her so she wouldn't wrinkle it. Nyte blinked several times as her delicate button nose detected smoke. Looking about for the source, she noticed that her cape-cloak was smoldering.
Frowning, the Mary Sue attempted to discreetly put the cinders out. As she did so, her hand bumped into something soft hidden within the folds of her cape-cloak. Nytelilly pulled the cape-cloak back to reveal a tiny bunny. The Sue squealed with delight at the adorable creature.
An adorable creature who happened to be emitting sparks.
It looked up at her, appearing to grin evilly as embers began shooting out of its fur in all directions.
"YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEK!"
Getting off the train, Harry saw Fred give George a hi-five. He frowned, remembering that they had taken the lead. They had snuck a Sparking Bunny (a creature cross-bred between a blast-ended skrewt and a bunny) underneath the Sue's cape-cloak while Harry and Ron had been attempting to levitate a cart full of cakes onto her. Harry made a mental note to use simpler methods to pull pranks on Nytelilly, who did not appear to be amused by the hidden-evil-Sparking-Bunny-stunt as she dusted off her freshly mended cape-cloak.
The students surrounding her snickered; especially Draco Malfoy, who sneered at the sight of another Perfect Beauty Beyond Words (tm).
"Be careful with that skirt, Potter," Draco drawled, as Crabbe and Goyle loomed dramatically into view. "Wouldn't want it to catch fire as well."
His statement caused Harry to stare at him. Slowly, it dawned on him that Malfoy had been talking to the Mary Sue.
Against his better judgment, Harry decided to see the "skirt" Malfoy was talking about. After all, mere seconds before the disturbing comment, Nytelilly had been wearing a long, bright pink (formerly purple) dress covered with glitter and outlined with ribbons.
"Don't look, Harry!" Hermione hissed, quickly covering his eyes before he could see the skirt.
Ron was not so lucky.
"UGH! My eyes! Hermione, help me!" Ron gasped. "Remove my eyes! Hurry!"
"Ron, I will not remove your eyes! We've seen worse, now help get our bags. Apparently we have to carry them," Hermione said exasperatedly. As she leaned over to pick up her bags and carry them the good old fashioned Muggle way ("Honestly, why does that Sue think we cannot use magic until we get inside the building?"), Hermione inadvertently uncovered Harry's eyes, giving him a rather disturbing view of Nytelilly's extraordinarily short skirt. He turned abruptly around, forcing the mental image out of his mind.
Nytelilly looked as if she were about to cry from Harry's unfavorable reaction. But, being the Mary Sue that she was, she held her tears in beautifully; the way she did everything else.
"Hello, 'Arry!"
Harry chanced a peek over his shoulder to see Nytelilly slowly narrow her eyes (beautifully) at Hagrid. Harry quickly turned his head away from the Mary Sue and her too-short-to-be-considered-short-skirt.
"Out of our way, giant! I will not stand for this!"
Hagrid blinked several times, not quite certain what he had done.
"Hello, Hagrid." Harry said as he waved over his shoulder, refusing to subject his mind to another unhealthy dose of bad mental images.
"We shall not take the boats! I wish to ride in a carriage with my brother," Nytelilly told Hagrid.
Hagrid grinned, obviously relieved that he would not have to deal with the Mary Sue until the Sorting.
"Suit yerself." Hagrid shrugged as he walked towards the first year students standing at the docks.
Ron stared after Hagrid, perhaps wishing he had stayed a bit longer to distract Nyte.
"Come, Ronniekins, to the carriages!" Nytelilly declared imperiously.
"Bloody hell," Ron muttered under his breath.
Harry, Ron, Nytelilly, and a frustrated Hermione exited the carriage several hours later. "Short skirts are certainly not appropriate for school, and I told her the code said robes only..." Hermione muttered to no one in particular.
Nytelilly paused, her deep blue eyes fixed on the front of the carriage.
Hermione paused as well, following the Sue's line of sight. Something clicked in her mind and her eyes widened as she recognized the signs of what was about to happen.
"Cover your ears!" Hermione warned. "She's launching into an angst-filled speech!"
"I can see it! The dreadful horse of pain and misery!" Nytelilly wailed before they could heed Hermione's warning. "I am bound to this world through a fate worse than death. Every day I am reminded of my pain! I am fated to live this horrible, ugly lie that is my life so that others may live and be happy."
Nytelilly burst into tears, which would not interrupt her speech. The Mary Sue was lapsing into Angst Mode (tm).
"My soul yearns to escape this life! I do not want to live with this pain!" Nytelilly gasped, dramatically dropping to her knees and throwing her hands up toward the sky as she called to the heavens. "Save me! I dream of happiness! I dream of a time in which I will know no fear and no pain! Why did I have to see my own parents die before my eyes? I was unable to stop him! I was only a child! How could I know how to stop a Dark Lord? But I protected my baby brother nonetheless. My dear, dear brother...if only he knew the dark secrets I hide within my soul! If only he knew-"
One well-timed rock upside Nytelilly's head later ("Nice throw, Weasley! Looks like you are useful for something!"), and she was stunned long enough to be dragged quietly and uneventfully into Hogwarts.