Julie and Ray sat next to each other on some chairs outside of Helen's
room. They were silent but both of them felt the words hanging over them in
the air. And both of them felt the pressure from that making them mute.
"I missed you." Ray finally said and she twicthed a little but didn't look at him.
"I ..." Her voice died and he just nodded understanding putting his hand on hers.
"It's okay Julie, you don't have to say it back." He didn't want her to say something she didn't mean. He missed her so much, he thought about her all time - he didn't want to get false hopes.
He wanted her to hug him, to give him something, some small sign. But she didn't. She closed herself further into her own mind and seemed to shrink, wrapping her arms around herself and pulling her hand away from his.
Ray sighed. This was why it hadn't worked out between them. He loved her but ...there was no response. He couldn't live like that.
"Sorry I haven't called that much." He said and Julie shook her head.
"I could've too. You had school and everything."
He frowned. "So did you, at least when I left. What happened Julie?" He knew that his voice was drenched with concern but he didn't even want to hide it. Julie not in school, that was serious.
She stared on her knees desperatley trying to hide behind her hair. "I got kicked out." She finally mumbled weakly and he couldn't help but flinched.
"What?"
"Yes. I got kicked out. Don't make me go into details." She pressed her lips together and turned her big brown eyes to him. They looked so sad. He reached out his hand and touched her cheek. She didn't move away, she just briefly closed her eyes.
"I won't." Ray promised and she almost smiled.
"I know you won't. Nobody understands me like you do." They shared a smile but then Julie looked away. "I hope Helen will be okay. I feel...so responsible."
"Don't be silly." Ray shook his head and put his arm behind her, on the back of the chair, and let his hand play with her hair.
"I'm not!" She looked at him with big eyes, her lower lip quivering. "Ray, if it wouldn't have been for me none of you would've been here." She stood up and started to pace. "I don't know Ray, maybe Barry's right, maybe I really am crazy."
Ray stood up and put his hand on her shoulder, squeezing it comforting. "You're not crazy. You're under a lot of press but you're not crazy. I believe you Jules, I believe you."
When she looked at him her eyes were wet with tears. She opened her mouth to say something but then she closed it and just leaned against his chest, closing her eyes. Ray put his arms around her and hugged her tightly.
*****************'
They were standing close, arms wrapped around each other, unaware of the shadow watching them from afar. It lurked closer, stretched it's limits. Smelled their scents. Part of it wishing form them to notice, to see. To get out of their own damned world for just a second.
Then it pulled away, down the hall, disappearing. They would pay. Consquences couldn't be avoided.
******************'
Darkness was everywhere, reaching for her. Pulling her hair, trying to get to her throat. She tried to fight it. Tried to push it off. Tried to live. But she couldn't breathe. She turned around, shook her head, tore her clothes. Tried to break free.
With a snap Julie woke up. She stared around her, people gave her crooked and condescending looks. She panted hard and Ray, next to her, put his hand on her arm.
"Julie! Julie!" He called her name until she looked at him. He smiled and brushed some hair off her sweaty forehead. She'd had those nightmares before. He remembered the signs of them. She had hardly gotten any sleep and kept waking up in a cold sweat, totally hysterical. It had only gotten worse.
He'd convinced her to go to a shrink and it had gotten better, for a while. Now he kissed her forehead like he'd done before and for a bleak second it felt like they were in their bedroom again. Like before.
Then they parted and he remembered they were still at the hospital. His body was aching after sleeping in a chair. But he didn't stretch or anything, he kept his eyes on Julie who took a couple of long calm breaths and seemed to settle down.
"I ... I need..." She stood up. "I need to call Charlotte. I just need..."
Ray nodded standing up too. "Sure. You do that. I'll go in and check how things are with Barry and Helen. Then we can eat something? Okay?"
Julie nodded. "Okay."
Ray put his hand to her cheek again and rubbed his thumb over it in a soft move. "It'll be okay." He tried to comfort but the words were empty and neither of them felt better.
**************'
"Charlotte."
"Yes."
"It's Julie." Julie let her hand grip tighter around the reciver and she liked her lips for the fifth time since she dialled the number. Her mouth was dry. She hadn't talked to Charlotte in several days. Not to long ago she'd talked to her every day, more then once.
But she'd been mad and distracted. But mostly mad. She hadn't wanted to drag Helen and Barry there. They were missing out on their real lives, they were getting hurt. They would've been better off not knowing. But Charlotte only wanted her own good.
"Julie! I've been so worried. I was at the hospital to check on you but they said you checked out, I went to your apartment but no one was there. Are you alright?"
Julie started to twirl the cord around her finger. "Yes, I'm okay. I'm still at the hospital. But it's not me. It's Helen. She...well she's not feeling well." Something stopped Julie from using the word attacked. People tended to think she was crazy.
"Is she alright? Hospital, sounds serious Julie. Do you want me to come pick you up?"
"No, no. That's okay. I just wanted to cancel todays appointment. I don't think I'll make it. And ... I ... I had another nightmare." She glanced around trying to move closer to the payphone so no one would hear her.
She could her on the psychatrists breathing on the other line that she was upset. Charlotte had a very distinct way of breathing.
"Was it with the man again?"
"No, I didn't see anybody. I was just sort of...drowning. It was different from the others."
Charlotte made a click sound with her tongue. She did that often too. It was her I'm-not-to-happy-with-the-situation noise. Julie knew she wanted her to come to their appointment but it didn't seem relevant to her know. She had to talk to the others, make them understand. Make them leave.
"Julie, I'm not to sure..." The voice kept going on but she couldn't hear it anymore. Her eyes had wandered and she saw him. The male nurse. The one that had been in her room the previous day.
He looked at her and smiled and waved. She turned her eyes away immediatley.
"I have to go."
"But..."
Julie hung up. She turned around looking for the nurse but he was gone. Tugging her sweater closer around her body she rushed to room 212 and went straight in without knocking.
Helen was laying in bed with Barry and Ray standing on both her sides. They all three turned their heads when Julie came in, looking like she'd seen a ghost.
"It's about time we talk." She said seriously and no one of them gave her a response. Her hollow eyes wandered between them all and she took a deep breath, preparing to start.
************************************************************'
A/N: Mega thanks for the response. =) Hopefully you'll complain if there's something that bothers you. Stay tuned.
Jen
"I missed you." Ray finally said and she twicthed a little but didn't look at him.
"I ..." Her voice died and he just nodded understanding putting his hand on hers.
"It's okay Julie, you don't have to say it back." He didn't want her to say something she didn't mean. He missed her so much, he thought about her all time - he didn't want to get false hopes.
He wanted her to hug him, to give him something, some small sign. But she didn't. She closed herself further into her own mind and seemed to shrink, wrapping her arms around herself and pulling her hand away from his.
Ray sighed. This was why it hadn't worked out between them. He loved her but ...there was no response. He couldn't live like that.
"Sorry I haven't called that much." He said and Julie shook her head.
"I could've too. You had school and everything."
He frowned. "So did you, at least when I left. What happened Julie?" He knew that his voice was drenched with concern but he didn't even want to hide it. Julie not in school, that was serious.
She stared on her knees desperatley trying to hide behind her hair. "I got kicked out." She finally mumbled weakly and he couldn't help but flinched.
"What?"
"Yes. I got kicked out. Don't make me go into details." She pressed her lips together and turned her big brown eyes to him. They looked so sad. He reached out his hand and touched her cheek. She didn't move away, she just briefly closed her eyes.
"I won't." Ray promised and she almost smiled.
"I know you won't. Nobody understands me like you do." They shared a smile but then Julie looked away. "I hope Helen will be okay. I feel...so responsible."
"Don't be silly." Ray shook his head and put his arm behind her, on the back of the chair, and let his hand play with her hair.
"I'm not!" She looked at him with big eyes, her lower lip quivering. "Ray, if it wouldn't have been for me none of you would've been here." She stood up and started to pace. "I don't know Ray, maybe Barry's right, maybe I really am crazy."
Ray stood up and put his hand on her shoulder, squeezing it comforting. "You're not crazy. You're under a lot of press but you're not crazy. I believe you Jules, I believe you."
When she looked at him her eyes were wet with tears. She opened her mouth to say something but then she closed it and just leaned against his chest, closing her eyes. Ray put his arms around her and hugged her tightly.
*****************'
They were standing close, arms wrapped around each other, unaware of the shadow watching them from afar. It lurked closer, stretched it's limits. Smelled their scents. Part of it wishing form them to notice, to see. To get out of their own damned world for just a second.
Then it pulled away, down the hall, disappearing. They would pay. Consquences couldn't be avoided.
******************'
Darkness was everywhere, reaching for her. Pulling her hair, trying to get to her throat. She tried to fight it. Tried to push it off. Tried to live. But she couldn't breathe. She turned around, shook her head, tore her clothes. Tried to break free.
With a snap Julie woke up. She stared around her, people gave her crooked and condescending looks. She panted hard and Ray, next to her, put his hand on her arm.
"Julie! Julie!" He called her name until she looked at him. He smiled and brushed some hair off her sweaty forehead. She'd had those nightmares before. He remembered the signs of them. She had hardly gotten any sleep and kept waking up in a cold sweat, totally hysterical. It had only gotten worse.
He'd convinced her to go to a shrink and it had gotten better, for a while. Now he kissed her forehead like he'd done before and for a bleak second it felt like they were in their bedroom again. Like before.
Then they parted and he remembered they were still at the hospital. His body was aching after sleeping in a chair. But he didn't stretch or anything, he kept his eyes on Julie who took a couple of long calm breaths and seemed to settle down.
"I ... I need..." She stood up. "I need to call Charlotte. I just need..."
Ray nodded standing up too. "Sure. You do that. I'll go in and check how things are with Barry and Helen. Then we can eat something? Okay?"
Julie nodded. "Okay."
Ray put his hand to her cheek again and rubbed his thumb over it in a soft move. "It'll be okay." He tried to comfort but the words were empty and neither of them felt better.
**************'
"Charlotte."
"Yes."
"It's Julie." Julie let her hand grip tighter around the reciver and she liked her lips for the fifth time since she dialled the number. Her mouth was dry. She hadn't talked to Charlotte in several days. Not to long ago she'd talked to her every day, more then once.
But she'd been mad and distracted. But mostly mad. She hadn't wanted to drag Helen and Barry there. They were missing out on their real lives, they were getting hurt. They would've been better off not knowing. But Charlotte only wanted her own good.
"Julie! I've been so worried. I was at the hospital to check on you but they said you checked out, I went to your apartment but no one was there. Are you alright?"
Julie started to twirl the cord around her finger. "Yes, I'm okay. I'm still at the hospital. But it's not me. It's Helen. She...well she's not feeling well." Something stopped Julie from using the word attacked. People tended to think she was crazy.
"Is she alright? Hospital, sounds serious Julie. Do you want me to come pick you up?"
"No, no. That's okay. I just wanted to cancel todays appointment. I don't think I'll make it. And ... I ... I had another nightmare." She glanced around trying to move closer to the payphone so no one would hear her.
She could her on the psychatrists breathing on the other line that she was upset. Charlotte had a very distinct way of breathing.
"Was it with the man again?"
"No, I didn't see anybody. I was just sort of...drowning. It was different from the others."
Charlotte made a click sound with her tongue. She did that often too. It was her I'm-not-to-happy-with-the-situation noise. Julie knew she wanted her to come to their appointment but it didn't seem relevant to her know. She had to talk to the others, make them understand. Make them leave.
"Julie, I'm not to sure..." The voice kept going on but she couldn't hear it anymore. Her eyes had wandered and she saw him. The male nurse. The one that had been in her room the previous day.
He looked at her and smiled and waved. She turned her eyes away immediatley.
"I have to go."
"But..."
Julie hung up. She turned around looking for the nurse but he was gone. Tugging her sweater closer around her body she rushed to room 212 and went straight in without knocking.
Helen was laying in bed with Barry and Ray standing on both her sides. They all three turned their heads when Julie came in, looking like she'd seen a ghost.
"It's about time we talk." She said seriously and no one of them gave her a response. Her hollow eyes wandered between them all and she took a deep breath, preparing to start.
************************************************************'
A/N: Mega thanks for the response. =) Hopefully you'll complain if there's something that bothers you. Stay tuned.
Jen