Sorry for not updating sooner. Blame Canada. Or Homecoming week and yearbook deadlines, whichever floats your boat... Anyway, hope y'all had a happy Halloween! Enjoy!
"So hard not to blame..."
It was all so obvious when Argent told me. Everything was a lie. Who I am, who I was, my entire existence, it was all just something Harper made up. I was just a fulfillment of some other person's life. Some other android.
That was what got to me the most, not only that but that he lied about it. That he had the arrogance to think he could pretend to be a God. I never wondered why I never ate, or even why I never drank whatever the bartender poured in my glass.
I never had to question it before now.
Now I can do nothing but question it. Question him. I was built to protect him. What if I tried to leave? Would he try to stop me? Regret having built free will into my... programming?
Worse yet, I was built on the ruins of someone else. I still have flashes of her life, in my dreams and when I see Dylan or sometimes Beka and Trance. I wouldn't say anything, not now. It's almost comforting to have that instinctive knowledge that they ARE our friends... my friends.
Then there are things I seem to know that I just don't understand. Like Rhade, for instance; I keep thinking that he's changed. I don't know why, but I guess it's just residual information. The remnants of her personality; Rommie, the great warship brought to life.
I have to applaud Harper for that much; I look at myself and would never have guessed that I'm not human. And if he could give me such a dynamic personality as this, then she must have been quite impressive.
I know I'm not her, intellectually. But it's hard not to think so when she invades my dreams, whether I'm asleep or not. And it's so hard not to blame Harper for everything.