I'm back... Normally, I would go on to Dylan... but I'm not feeling very friendly towards him right now (seriously, everyone else is going though all this crap while he's getting laid... okay, yes, so is Rhade, but he's too hot, and drunk, to blame...). So I'm moving back to everybody's favorite Nietzschean, but it's not gonna be based on an episode like it was supposed to be. Whatever, Rhade fans (or should I say females/gay guys/BekaRhade shippers) rejoice!

"Need You"

"Don't waste your time on me,

You're already the voice inside my head."

I can't remember who sang that song (the one with the creepy video with spiders and lesbian chicks in it), but whoever they are: - (insert name)

Here it goes. The bar is starting to look hazy and I have to listen really hard to hear what- what was her name? K something?- is saying. I think she wants me to come back to her... whatever the hell passes for a home around here. Good, because I don't have one. Scratch that, this bar is home. And now that Harper runs it, I can actually stay here all night without being kicked out before sunrise.

Another sip. Now I can't hear her at all, just a nice buzzing sound. Some insects must have taken up residence in my brain. I think I mumbled something, and knowing my luck it was something rude and characteristically Nietzschean. Yep, slap across the face and I'm now looking at a fuzzy wall.

"Hey, Soup-for-Brains!" someone yells at me, "You mind not scaring away customers? Especially the pretty ones?"

Harper. Who else would say that last part? I wonder how loud he had to yell for me to hear that. By the Divine, the things you think about when you're completely wasted.

"Good, you're here!" Harper has turned his attention elsewhere, probably some girl he's been eyeing, "Could you PLEASE get him somewhere where he can sleep this off and not bother everybody?"

Here we go. Just like everybody else in my life. 'Get out', 'You're a disgrace', 'You're a Nietzschean'. Sometimes I just want to cut off my bone blades and pretend I'm normal. Human. If only to stop the voices.

I vaguely wonder who he wants to get rid of me. Not that I have the energy to get up even if I wanted to, but that's the roving mind of a drunkard again. I manage to turn my head, expecting Dylan.

No, it's Beka, an annoyed look plastered onto her pretty face. She just shakes her head, obviously embarrassed to be around me. Great. Why I'm upset, I don't know. She's always been unattainable; love of my life or not, she'd never give me a backwards glance in that respect. Then there was Louisa; yes she was everything a sane Nietzschean male would have, should have wanted. Yes, I loved her. But not like Beka. Not with that kind of passion.

Thinking about her and Louisa, especially her,always makes me want to cry. And in my current state, I just might up and start bawling. I wonder what she would say if I did?

"Come on, Rhade..." she's saying, pulling me to my feet, dragging me out the door. I don't know where she's planning on taking me, but frankly I could care less if she'll be going too.

The Maru. It figures, even though I would have thought she'd want me to stay away from her ship.

My vision is getting worse. I can make out the hatch to the ship, a trellis of some sort, with a few spindly vines climbing it, somehow managing to grow in this Hellhole. A bed. Beka's voice, but she's too far away for me to hear. So far away...

My final thought before giving into the darkness drifted up from the part of me that can still feel. But he's been long broken, his voice only heard in the eternity between waking and sleep. A helpless, echoing cry: Need you...