Disclaimer: Don't own 'em…never will…
Hello
"Donny, I'm sorry. I don't think we can work this out."
Donatello blinked away the tears that threatened to spill from his eyes as her words echoed in his head. He heard himself speaking, just as he had before.
"But, Sam. I love you…"
Nevertheless, she only shook her head.
"I'm sorry."
He wasn't what she wanted, and like a poor fool, he didn't realize it until it was too late.
Now she was gown forever.
If only he was like everyone else, if only he was what she wanted…if only he was normal.
-
Playground school bell rings again
Rain clouds come to play again
-
If he was "normal" would it have made a difference? Would he still feel the sting of rejection pull on his heart and fall from his eyes? In the silent emptiness of his lab Donatello worked my lamplight, it being the only illumination in the otherwise dark room. On his desk his fingers toiled in their magic as he took apart one of his various creations, the machine's screws falling loose onto the tabletop. Their sounds however, were lost to him as her voice continued in his mind.
"I can't love you, Donny. I just…can't. I'm so sorry."
It was funny, a month ago she had told him that she couldn't breath without him…but now she only walks away, all of her promises forgotten, disappearing into the wind with the sound of her footsteps.
-
Has no one told you she´s not breathing?
-
Leaving him spiraling into a deep loneliness.
'But you have your family.' A voice tried to tell him. Nevertheless its effort were futile.
None of his brothers understood him; always taunting him when he spent his time alone.
Always laughing at him when he indulged in his interests. Always excluding him when they indulged in their own…Even his own Master seemingly ignored him, just seeming to lack the ability to handle the pacifist in general.
Therefore, it did not matter what his mind said, he knew he was all alone. Just him and his machines…Wait. No, there was one other person. One other being, which was the very same thing he ran from.
His thoughts.
-
Hello, I'm your mind giving you
Someone to talk to
Hello
-
Memories; the worst kind of friend. It seemed as though the few good memories he had seemed to overlap into the bad ones, which were the ones that relentlessly ran through his mind. Crying in the sewers after being tricked by his brothers at the age of five. Excluded at fourteen from their outgoings only because he shared his opinion with them. And now, ignored at twenty, having drifted apart from his brothers altogether. All because he was not like them. All because he didn't believe as they did. All because he didn't share in their dreams of 'being the best ninja.'
All because he didn't belong…
-
If I smile and don't believe
Soon I know I'll wake from this dream
-
However, it wasn't always that way. He remembered when they were little and even when they were adults, one of them would always try to see past his exterior, trying to 'quick fix' his problems, attempting to make him, essentially, like them.
Thus, normal.
"Well maybe you should watch something other than the discovery channel now and then."
"You ever considered not staying in your lab all the damn time and actually joining your family?"
"Donny, all you need to do is stop being weird…and be just like everybody else."
They tried to help, but in the end, they only made things worse. They treated him as if he wasn't even one of them, as if he was just an outcast. As if he was broken…And the worst part was, if he did just "stop" and join them, they would be happy. But would he? No. He knew that answer right a way. It would all be a lie, a lie for their sakes, but still…a lie.
-
Don't try to fix me, I'm not broken
Hello, I'm the lie, living for you so you can hide
Don't cry
-
Another tear stung at his eye, but this time, he let it fall. He watched its track in slow motion. It made it's way down only to caress the surface of his only true companion.
His machines.
Cold. Emotionless. They were his backbone. They were his friends.
They were real.
He could feel them, the cold steal hard against his callused palms. With them, he could do anything. Create. Destroy. Live.
Anything.
But that didn't mean he was without contempt. Here in the loneliness of the dark, he had an enemy as well. An enemy of torment causing him grief at the memories of his trespasses as well as the trespasses of others, the newest one still fresh. It cut into his heart, causing the blood to run deep from his soul. And even now, he still bleed, from old cuts and from new.
The knife? His mind.
His own thoughts.
-
Suddenly I know I'm not sleeping
Hello, I'm still here
All that's left of yesterday
-
The worst enemy of them all.
The Lyrics for the song, (w/o interruption)
Evanescence:
Hello
Playground school bell rings again
Rain clouds come to play again
Has no one told you she´s not breathing?
Hello, I'm your mind giving you
Someone to talk to
Hello
If I smile and don't believe
Soon I know I'll wake from this dream
Don't try to fix me, I'm not broken
Hello, I'm the lie, living for you so you can hide
Don't cry
Suddenly I know I'm not sleeping
Hello, I'm still here
All that's left of yesterday
-
Just started writing, and came up with this. A sort of personal reflection. You all can still review if you want…