Dismal Angel 2010 - Episode 26

Chapter 4: WHAT!?

"WHAT?!" was the first thing Rogue demanded as she spun around to Remy. She knew perhaps what he'd said had been some sort of a joke, but if it was, he wasn't laughing.

He remained silent, and gave her a meaningful look that she felt make her tremble inside.

"Okay, that's not funny," she moved away from him, "because you don't look like you're joking. But I know you have to be because…I…I don't know…you just gotta be kidding," she shook her head at him.

"No, I'm not," he sighed, "c'mon, chere, you know how I feel about you…I'd give my life to be with you, and I'd march straight up to an alter and say 'I do' just to prove it…" he was hoping she was going to calm down, he could see her face growing paler by the second and he was sure it wasn't just the harsh Nevada sunlight giving her face that familiar bleached look it used to have in those long gone days when she'd preferred to wear more black than a priest and more eyeliner than Marilyn Manson.

"This isn't funny, Remy…" Rogue frowned, she was sure this was some kind of stupid joke and that they were going to be going out gambling any moment laugh about it somehow later on. "It's sick."

"This isn't MEANT to be funny," Remy said, feeling a little hurt that she would insinuate he'd pull this as a cruel joke, "I'm serious. I want to marry you. There's a limo down there that in two hours is going to drive us to a chapel, I've made all the arrangements, I have the rings, everything. Everything is all planned, and all we have to do is BE there," he said softly.

"But there's one HITCH in your plan, Remy," Rogue headed back into the hotel room, she almost tripped over her and Remy's luggage which had been left stupidly in the middle of the floor.

"What are you talking about?" he demanded as he followed her in.

"I'm NOT marrying you!" she yelled at him, "How fucking stupid do you think I am?! Do you seriously think I'm going to marry you when we can't even get along for one week without a single argument?"

Remy wandered over to where she was standing. "Maybe that's just it. We argue because you don't know I'm committed enough, maybe you don't trust that I love you enough to marry you…" he tried, "maybe this is ALL we need to keep us together, maybe this will be the thing that makes everything alright."

"And what if it doesn't?" Rogue demanded angrily, "what then? What happens when we REALISE it was a dumb idea and just can't make it work? What then? Separation? DIVORCE?!" she demanded, "there's a REASON people stay engaged for a long time before getting married Remy. There's a REASON people LIVE together before getting married."

"Some people just GET married, and they live happily ever after," he said, trying to remain very calm now.

"This isn't a fucking fairytale romance!" Rogue cried at him, "this is my worst nightmare. I'm Nevada and my wedding is all PLANNED for me and I didn't even get a choice about it," she turned to the wall and folded her arms stubbornly.

"I know it's not…ideal…" Remy moved over and put his hands on her arms tenderly.

"Not ideal?" she gave an absurd laugh, "it's so far beyond not ideal that it's insane," she uttered. "I always figured when I got married, the wedding should be in a huge church with the wedding march and Kitty dressed in a horrid frilly pink bridesmaid dress," she mused, "and I'm dressed in this gorgeous cream coloured satin dress with an antique lace veil and my hair up in curls…and the professor would give me away at the alter, and Hank would make speeches at the reception…and everyone would be so happy, and they'd laugh and congratulate me…and there'd be a cake with four tiers and so much champagne I could take a swim in it…"

Remy looked at her, "I can give you all that…we can get married here, now, then later we can make it all formal later, we can put Kitty in an ugly pink frilly dress thing, and you can wear satin cream and have your hair up in curls…and Hank can make speeches and you can swim in champagne…" he murmured desperately.

"No…" Rogue moved away from him and hunched her shoulders, she turned to him and frown, "don't you get it. At any point when I described my dream wedding to you, did you happen to notice YOU were nowhere in the picture?"

Remy fell silent, he hadn't noticed at all, and now that he did, it was worrying him. He wasn't sure what this meant.

"What's the point of marriage, Remy?" Rogue said flatly.

He came up blank at that moment, although before he was sure he had a hundred different ideas of what the point of marriage was exactly.

"You can't come up with one. Jean and Scott – they HAVE a reason they want to get married. They want to live together in the boathouse, they want it to be with gods blessing when they make love…they want to have kids…and grandkids, and a dog, or a cat, or whatever. They want a life."

"I want all that with you," Remy said, "even kids…if it means so much to you," he said, and he meant it. He never wanted to think about having children ever again, but with her, he'd make that sacrifice if it would make her happy…if it would just make her say yes. He knew if he could just get a ring on her finger, there would be nothing to keep them apart.

Remy knew that if he left, and came back, even if he and Rogue had split up over his leaving, Rogue would have to give him another chance. Marriage was sacred, and she'd feel obligated to give him another chance. And he just wanted that tie with her that meant nothing else would ever stop him from being with her. Marriage was the closest he could get to completely being with her. If her powers would stop him from being close to her, and her apprehensiveness every time he touched her, and his stupidity would stop him being with her, and his mistakes, then surely the bonds of marriage could somehow negate everything else.

"You don't want kids," Rogue snorted, "you don't really want to live together in a house with a mortgage and a plasma screen TV like you spoke of months ago…" she sighed. "And I can't even GIVE you half of what you really want, you know that my powers will stop anything..."

"Yes, I do…I realise that…at least for now but we can work through it…and…I still want everything else," Remy sighed, he slipped his hand into the pocket, "this…was going to be my wedding present to you…" he took a piece of folded up paper from his pocket and he handed it to her.

Rogue frowned and unfolded the paper, it was a print out of a suburban house that seemed very familiar. It had large white painted bay windows, and double six panelled doors. The red brick was in perfect condition. There was a lawn surrounding it with shrubs, flowers, and a topiary of a tree that spiralled upwards to a perfect point. It was the kind of house that Rogue felt might have belonged to a character from a situation comedy. She wished she could remember where she'd seen it before, but her mind came up blank. "What is this?"

"I bought it…at the time I brought all the stuff about wanting to take the relationship further…" Remy said softly, "It's in Bayville…ten minutes away from the Xavier estate. "Three bedrooms…two bathrooms," he said, "the kitchen is huge…the dining room is adequate enough for large dinner parties – because I know you'd want to invite everyone over all the time," he gave an ironic smirk, "its…perfect."

"PERFECT?!" Rogue crunched the piece of paper up and threw it at him angrily, "you have all this pretty planned out, don't you!" she growled, "it's like you've planned my entire future for me and I have no say in it whatsoever!"

"Of course you have say in it," Remy dodged the ball of paper despite it wouldn't have caused him any pain, and he tried to move over but she moved away.

"I don't WANT to marry you!" she yelled, "I don't want my wedding to be in an all night chapel with the ceremony performed by a very BAD Elvis impersonator who stops in between our vows to sing 'Love me Tender' and 'Suspicious Minds'!" she stomped her way over to the open patio doors, Remy was sure he heard one of the tiles beneath the plush carpet cracking under her feet as she did so.

"Chere…please, just think about this…"

"I have thought about it!" Rogue stepped out onto the balcony, "I've thought about it and I know it's a bad idea…you're not ready, I'm not ready…and…I don't know, I just don't think it's a good idea if we even SEE each other anymore…"

"Chere, what are you talking about…" he felt as if she might have just slammed her hand through his chest and gripped onto his heart and squeezed it until it ceased to work anymore.

"I'm talking about us being a bad idea," Rogue said, "We have feelings for each other, but it isn't working right…if you can just run and do all this without my say, what ELSE can you do? How can I even think about bein' with you if this is the kind of thing you do? How can I think about BEIN' with you when you've just tried to plan our entire lives together without really DISCUSSING it with me."

"Fine, then lets discuss it," Remy pleaded, "please, Chere, I love you…"

"I don't doubt that you love me," Rogue sighed, "but I doubt that you really understand what relationships are all about, and I doubt that you really understand me…I can't THINK about getting married right now. I'm still trying to get my normal life back in order after the chaos that Carol caused..." she climbed up onto the balcony ledge. "There's stuff Carol did I'm SURE you aren't telling me, and I can't begin to think about relationships or marriage – all I CARE about is getting everything out in the open and getting my life back."

"Where are you goin'?!" Remy asked.

"Back home," Rogue spread her arms about to take off.

Remy knew she was determined to leave, and he needed something that was going to stop her from leaving him there, and soon he realised his mouth was running ahead of his mind, and before he'd properly thought about the consequences, he blurted out the words, "Carol can control your powers."