Dismal Angel 2010 - Episode 26

Chapter 5: Beyond Me

Rogue stopped there on the ledge, and she lowered her arms slowly, and for moments, Remy thought she might simply step right off the ledge to a horrible death. He knew of course, it wasn't possible that she could do so. She'd fall and land on the concrete and probably put some very big cracks or dents in it, and perhaps end up with a sore backside, but that was it.

Then again…he'd thought it wasn't possible for Carol Danvers to take over nor for her to control Rogue's powers and yet, that had happened also. So if she stepped off was it possible that her powers would negate accidentally and she'd be hurt? Suddenly Remy found himself very afraid for her.

Rogue sucked in a breath, she was pretty sure what he'd just said was that Carol Danvers had been able to control her powers, and yet, it didn't register quite yet. "What?"

"I saw her…" Remy swallowed, "she could touch…touch like everyone else…skin to skin…" he felt his heartbeat beginning to increase, the way Rogue had quickly gone so tense left him feeling very anxious. She was just standing there, her back turned to him, her long brown hair with it's silvery white streak was swaying in a slight wind. He wasn't sure what her reaction was going to be. "I saw it with my own two eyes, Chere..."

"What did you see…?" her voice was cold. It wasn't so much a question as a demand, and the sound of her voice suddenly very much made him fear her.

"I saw her controlling your powers…" Remy trailed off, he then braced himself whatever might come. Rogue gave a strange shudder, as if icy fingertips had just caressed her spine, and he knew what was coming.

Rogue turned around and jumped off the ledge and back onto the patio, "WHAT DID YOU SEE?!" she demanded, and she shoved him, just like she had three days before, in the foyer, he fell back and landed on the floor with a soft thud.

"What I saw isn't important…all that's important is she can control your powers…which means that somehow YOU must be able to do so too…" he pointed out, "so you see…marriage isn't a stupid idea…because…because…" he stammered as he pulled himself nervously to his feet. That look in her eyes was terrifying. "Because we can…we can have all that…it's just gonna take work…"

"WHAT…DID…YOU…FUCKING…SEE?!" she demanded, she grabbed onto the collar of his brown leather jacket and held him up in the air, she shook him and Remy felt a little dizzy as she did so.

"She…" Remy swallowed, "she was making love with some guy…"

"Some guy…" Rogue repeated as she dropped him, and once again he fell back to the floor with a thud. Somehow the words 'making love' and 'some guy' didn't seem as simple as Remy had so innocently put them. There was something else, why did he look so terrified, she wondered. Despite she had just found out somehow that her body had been used in ways she'd never expected, all she could think about at that precise moment was why did Remy look scared of her, and what was it Remy knew that he was hiding.

"Rogue…calm down…" he pulled himself up slowly.

"I will not CALM DOWN," Rogue suddenly burst out, "Who was the guy…how did you see them…what were you doing there…what happened?!" she demanded.

"I won't tell you until you calm down," he tried to be assertive. He couldn't understand how suddenly all the male bravado he'd always had seemed to melt away like splinters of ice and replace itself with a disturbing fear of his own girlfriend.

"Tell me or so help me I'll—" she clenched her fists.

Remy didn't want to find out what she'd do with her clench fists, but he wasn't in the mood to be punched anymore, he'd been punched too much in the last two months already, he wasn't about to take anymore unnecessarily. "She went out clubbing…to Asylum."

The word Asylum made Rogue's throat tighten. She remembered the night she was raped so clearly, and it gave her chills to think of it again as he spoke the name of the club. "Then?" she swallowed.

"I had followed her, I was looking out for you, I was worried…and…she went missing, and I searched and found her in a staff bathroom…"

Rogue sucked in a breath, she remembered it had been the staff bathroom she'd been raped in, she remembered the feel of the cold tiles, and the harsh lighting. She remembered the pain and the tears and falling in and out of conciousness.

"And he was there…" Remy looked away, his heart hurt to even say it.

"Who…?" she asked, but she already knew the answer before the word had even passed her lips. Chills ran up her spine, and somewhere in her own head she could almost see it play out as if it were her own memory. It was like a sudden flashback, and for a moment she could almost see herself in the mirrored wall of the staff bathroom as she was propped up against the sink on the opposite side with the dark haired main who had once raped her moving against her almost desperately. She felt like she might be sick.

Remy couldn't look her in the face, he felt so utterly shamed and disgusted with himself for having not told her before.

"You…you knew about this all this time…" she trailed off, "THE WHOLE FUCKING TIME?!" she picked up a nearby ashtray and hurled it at him, he just barely dodged it, he heard it shatter against the wall behind him and felt the shower of glass splinters.

"I…I…I…" he stammered, "I just didn't want to hurt you…" he tried, and now he couldn't understand why she wanted to hurt him so badly, he had kept the truth from her yes, he had made mistakes, yes, but was there a need for her to be violent towards him? He suddenly wondered how many men in the world fell victim to abusive relationships instead of women. He felt rather foolish thinking this when the subject of the truth about Carol Danvers erotic adventure had just come forward.

"Fat load of use the truth is," she grabbed a nearby vase with fresh flowers in it and hurled it towards him, he just barely caught it, although the water, and the flowers proceeded to spill out onto the carpet. "I'm supposed to be able to trust you!! HOW COULD YOU KEEP SOMETHING LIKE THIS FROM ME?!" she screamed.

Remy winced, her voice was almost deafening right at that moment, it was so shrill he could barely make out the last few words. "I don't know…I just…I thought I was protecting you…"

"Protecting me?! Protecting me from WHAT?! You must have known Carol did this to get back at me! She knew I'd find out eventually. How could you protect me from this?!" she demanded. "I deserved to know, Remy! It's MY body!"

"I know that…but…I don't know, I just didn't want to see you hurting anymore!" he cried desperately at her.

"Well you won't have to," Rogue headed back towards the patio doors, "In fact, you won't need to see me at all!! Because I'm leaving. And if you're smart you WON'T even TRY to follow me," she said, and although her anger was so blatantly obvious, he could still see the emotion in her eyes as she turned to look at him, he was sure she might start crying. "How you EVER thought I would marry you is beyond me," she said coldly.

"Rogue, I love you…" he said in a pleading voice, he looked at her desperately hoping that his love would be enough to hold her back from leaving.

"Sometimes I wasn't able to sleep at night I loved you so much, and sometimes there were days I couldn't breathe because I wasn't near you…and I thought that was love," she looked at him, "but now I know that ANYTHING I felt for you just probably nothing more than a stupid obsession I've had since I was a kid!"

He felt as if she'd just taken his heart – which had somehow turned to glass within seconds – and stepped on it, crushing the splinters beneath the heel of her platform sandals as easily as she might have crushed that floor tile beneath the carpet. "You don't mean that…" he said, and he hesitated afterwards not sure if that should be all he said.

"Yes I do, Remy…" she looked at him, "I'm sorry…I care for you but…I don't think…after everything…that…I can love you the way I did…not after this, not after all you've done…"

"You told me nothing could screw up our relationship again! You told me I wouldn't screw up our relationship again!" he cried at her hopelessly.

"I was wrong!" Rogue felt a tear slide down her face, "I'm always wrong…and so are you. And every time I consider loving you I let myself fall into one of these traps, and you hurt me again…"

"I don't MEAN to hurt you, I've never meant to hurt you, I'm so in love with you I feel like dying every time I see a single tear roll down your face, Chere…" he said, and he began to feel very choked up and emotional."

"And that's why we shouldn't be together anymore. I can't stand to be lied to, Remy, and that's something you can't not do is lie. And you…you can't stand to see me cry. We can't be together anymore, Remy. We can't."

"You don't mean that, Chere…you don't, I know you love me, I see it in your eyes…" Remy moved closer, he was standing a few inches away from the balcony ledge where Rogue was standing.

"Then don't look in my eyes anymore, Remy. And don't come back to Xaviers."

These were her final words before she took off to the sky in a graceful soar. Her long linen skirt whipping around her legs. She disappeared into the distance, and left Remy standing on the balcony feeling foolish, heartbroken, and alone.