I do NOT own Gundam Wing. Nor do I own SNL or Jeopardy. If you sue, you'll find out that my total worth is about $17.87. Currently seeking a proof reader for my infrequent writings. FF.N is messing up my tags. I've done my best to compinsate

All appearances are imposters, except where specifically noted in the credits, and no Gundam Wing character has endorsed this fan fiction. In direct retaliation, this fan fiction does not endorse any Gundam Wing Characters (Except for Hilde, pre episode thirteen).

Alex: And welcome back to Gundam Wing jeopardy. I'd just like to clarify something that happened before the commercial break, the mobile doll army that Dorothy was boasting about is actually an army of inanimate Barbie dolls. That having been said let's take a look at the board. In last place, we have Wufei Chang with negative $6,400. Wufei has spent most of his time complaining about being next to two women.

Wufei: Injustice! Women do not have the strength to compete on the battlefield.

Alex: This is a trivia game, not a battlefield.

(Dorothy buzzes in)

Dorothy: There's a battle? Where? Why am I not involved?

Alex: What? There's no battle. What are you talking about?

Wufei: Come out and fight me Treize. Show yourself!

Relena: There will be no battles here-

(Alex cuts her off)

Alex: This is a game show, not a battlefield!

Relena: There will be no more battles anywhere. We must put aside our differences and work toward a common goal of peace. Only together can we achieve total pacifism.

Dorothy: Well said, Miss Relena.

Alex: (Sigh) Moving on. Relena Darlian, or Relena Peacecraft, or Relena Yuy, or Relena What-ever-the-hell-she's-calling-herself-at-the-moment is just a head of Wufei at negative $6,100. The sad part about this is that she is continually buzzing in and berating the game, comparing it to war.

Relena: If you look at it rationally, we still have two or more sides trying to defeat one another. The contestants must put aside there differences and work together to solve each problem. If we do this---

(Wufei cuts her off)

Wufei: Women! Will you just shut up?

(Relena glares at Wufei)

Alex: Nicely put. Finally, with a commanding lead is Dorothy Catalonia, with negative $23.42. How she got 42 cents, we have no idea. But it might have involved the short time she tried playing with the Zero system. Now let's take a look at the board; we have 'Your Birthday', 'Potpourri', 'Famous Relenas' and keep in mind that the answer to every question in this category is Relena Peacecraft, moving on it's 'Gundam Names', 'Shapes', 'Potent Potables' and finally 'Rock, Paper, Scissors'. Since Mr. Chang is in last place, he will get to choose first.

Wufei: Members of the Dragon Clan for 400.

Alex: That's not a category.

Wufei: Alright then. Alright I'll take Swords for 600.

Alex: Why don't we just let Miss Catalonia choose?

Dorothy: Mobile Dolls for 200.

Alex: Close enough. This is the only Gundam named Sandrock.

(Wufei buzzes in)

Wufei: Nataku.

Alex: That is incorrect.

Wufei: INJUSTICE!

(Relena buzzes in)

Relena: HHHHHEEEEEEEEEERRRRROOOOO!!!!! I'M RIGHT HERE! COME AND KILL ME!

(Dorothy buzzes in; she is wearing the mobile doll control helmet)

Alex: Miss Catalonia where did you get that helmet?

Dorothy: Now, my mobile dolls, attack! (Pointing at Alex)

(Quite some time passes and nothing happens)

Alex: And you're an idiot. Mr. Chang, why don't you pick?

Wufei: 'Rock, Paper, Scissors'.

Alex: And for how much.

(Wufei starts to slowly count on his fingers)

Alex: Let's just say 200. Following logic, remembering that category is rock, paper, scissors, if it's not rock, and it isn't paper, than it must be this.

(Dorothy Buzzes In)

Dorothy: Rock.

Alex: No. This means it's either paper or scissors, keeping in mind it can't be paper.

(Relena Buzzes In)

Relena: Paper.

Alex: And it's hard to believe you hold an important position in the government. Now the answer can only be scissors. Mr. Chang, just buzz in and say scissors.

(Wufei is still counting on his fingers)

Alex: (Sigh) why don't we just let Relena pick?

Relena: 'Famous Relenas' for 800.

Alex: This is the famous Relena of the Peacecraft family. She's standing next to Mr. Chang. If you had any intelligence at all you'd buzz in and say "Relena Peacecraft."

(Relena buzzes in)

Relena: Dorothy Catalonia.

Alex: (Angry) you suck.

Relena: (Angrily) but she's standing next to Wufei!

(Dorothy buzzes in)

Alex: Remember this is a famous Relenas.

Dorothy: I think she's right, I mean I am standing next to Wufei.

Alex: Just say the name of the person you think is right and you'll get the points.

Dorothy: I think Dorothy Catalonia is the correct answer.

Alex: I give up. Let's just move on to final jeopardy. And the question is, you know what I don't even care. (Rips up card) You're not going to get it right, so the new question is draw a square.

(Jeopardy Music Starts)

Alex: All you have to do is draw a square. It's not that hard. Hell, you can even draw a rectangle or a trapezoid and we'll accept it. Really all you have to do is make it have 4 sides.

(Jeopardy Music Ends)

Alex: Let's get this poorly written farce over with. Relena you answered...what appears to be documentation of how Jeopardy is equivalent to war.

Relena: The preventer's will be all over you now. There will be no more wars on earth.

Alex: Sure. Whatever. Wufei you answered "The dragon clan will rise again" and you wagered....nothing. You didn't write in a wager.

Wufei: I'm not going to risk my money for charity.

(Alex shakes his head in disgust)

Alex: Finally we come to Dorothy, who's still wearing that ridiculous helmet. She answered. A stick figure of herself with a rapier. Wonderful. And she wagered... what I think is a stick figure of Quatre with a rapier. This game finally comes to an end and if it was in my power, I'd shoot you all.