After returning to the hospital wing with Harry the previous night, Hermione slept in Poppy Pomfrey's office and left Friday morning to scribble assignments on the chalkboard for each of her classes with instructions to spend the period in the library, though she didn't bother to let Madam Pince know she was doing it. She went down to the dungeons, noticing the quiet of the classroom as she passed, and wondered what Albus had arranged for potions classes Severus was missing. A smile crossed her lips when she thought about how angry he would be when he woke up.
If he wakes up, a nasty voice in her head added, and the smile vanished from her face.
When she reached the laboratory, she immediately went to the potions and checked them, since they had been unattended for over eighteen hours. They all seemed to be in order, and she put stasis spells on each so that she could deal with them later. She then picked up the notebook that Severus had been using last, as well as a few books she had been meaning to look over, and returned to the hospital wing. She hurried back because she hadn't had time to check on Severus before left, as Poppy had woken her just before the start of the first class.
In the far corner of the hospital wing, Poppy had set up privacy screens, as well as a charm to keep away nosy students. The mediwitch was tending to her patient when Hermione returned.
"How is he?"
"He looks a bit better than last night, I think," she answered as she checked his pulse and glanced at his chart. "Yes, pulse is stronger today."
"Good. You already gave him another dose of the strengthening potion?"
"Yes, and a glass of water as well."
"Poppy, you are amazing," Hermione said and gave the older witch a grateful smile.
"I just do what I can, dear. Oh, the Headmaster came by while you were gone. He was checking to see if you would be spending the day here. I told him yes, you would be."
"As if he didn't already know," she muttered and Poppy laughed.
"There is not much in that happens within the walls of this castle that Albus Dumbledore does not know. Don't let him trick you into thinking he's omniscient, he's not. He just has lots of eyes watching out for him."
"I'll remember that next time he does it again. Go and rest now, I'll take over. I stopped by the dungeons and picked up some notes to keep me occupied."
"How are your potions? Are they alright without supervision?" Poppy asked.
"Oh, sure. I put stasis charms on them first thing, so when I get back to them, it's just like there was never an interruption."
"That's good. Now, you call if you need anything, dear," she said and returned to her office.
Hermione set her things down in the chair and perched on the edge of the bed. She reached out her hand to his neck, the new bristles of his beard scratching at her fingers like quills of a porcupine. She found his carotid artery and felt the blood pumping through it, but she didn't allow herself any hope by the small improvement.
His breathing was still shallow, and laying her hand on his forehead, she found it remained clammy, though a bit warmer than it had been the previous night. She brushed back the strands of long hair that clouded his face.
Hermione reluctantly left his side and sat in the chair, flipping through Severus's notes for a few minutes before setting them aside and picking up a book. She started reading, though her eyes regularly darted to the bed, as if he might slip away from the hospital wing if she didn't continually verify his presence. After an hour of attempting to digest the text she had been only half-reading, she finally gave up and sat in silence, staring at Severus, giving in to the thoughts that had been buzzing about in her mind, refusing to lie still when commanded.
It occurred to her that she knew very little about the man that lay before her, despite the time they had spent together working on the potion. He had volunteered nothing, and neither did Hermione ask for anything. She wondered if anyone really knew him, other than Albus.
She watched the rise and fall of the sheets, hypnotized by the ritual of the motion. She had come to Hogwarts, not with an open mind, but with the same prejudices she had carried as a student as far as her old Potions Master was concerned, even after sleeping with him.
And now I might never really know him, she thought fiercely. I don't give a shit about him 'til he's almost dead, how fucking typical!
Her eyes smarted and she swiped at an errant tear and sniffed. She picked up the book from her lap and forced her eyes to concentrate, but the words and letters swam on the page and she let the book fall from her hands and clatter to the floor. She slumped forward and held her head in her hands, suddenly awash in despair.
Hermione paced the corridor along the third floor like a caged tiger, stalking back and forth, glaring at passing students for merely making eye contact. Poppy had forced her out of the hospital wing later that afternoon because she could not deal with Hermione's pent-up frustration while she was treating seven fourth year Gryffindors and Hufflepuffs who had eaten alihotsy leaves although Professor Sprout had clearly instructed them not to, and she was having trouble subduing them as they raced around the hospital wing, screeching hysterically.
She was angry. It had just hit, this uncontrolled fury, and she knew it was irrational, that there was no target for her anger, except perhaps the Death Eater who had nearly killed Severus, but Harry had taken care of him before she could. So instead, she was angry at herself, Poppy, anyone, even Severus for taking the potion without telling her, but really mostly herself because she couldn't do anything more to keep Severus from death.
A second year Slytherin walked down the hall, his hands in his pockets as he kicked at the floor, and Hermione snapped, "Don't you have somewhere to be, Mister Rosier, rather than dawdling in the hallways?"
"I was going to see Madam Pomfrey," he said, clearly surprised at her outburst.
"Then keep moving."
Rosier complied, his head ducked, and walked quickly to the hospital wing, passing Albus Dumbledore who was on his way out. He noticed Hermione at the end of the hall and started towards her. She heard his approach and turned to scowl at him.
"It seems there has been no improvement in his condition."
"Don't you think I know that already?" she growled and glared at him and looked away, to a point on the wall across from them. Albus merely watched her, and that only angered her further. "I've done all I can and still nothing! I can't take this -- this uncertainty anymore!"
"You must have patience, Hermione."
"Why?" she asked, her voice growing shrill. "Because good things come to those who wait? I'm not a child anymore, I know good things don't always come."
She knew he was still watching her, could feel the sympathy oozing from the man's every pore, the stench was more pungent than bile, but she kept her eyes averted because she knew she would crack if she met his gaze. Suddenly his hand squeezed her shoulder and she finally turned to face him.
"My dear, you are right, and under different circumstances, with a different man, I would never presume to assure you that everything will indeed work itself out." He paused and the corners of his mouth turned up as he continued, "However, having known Severus Snape for more years than I can remember, I feel assured in saying he will be greatly unhappy if you are not there when he awakens."
Hermione looked into Albus's blue eyes and she knew he was telling the truth, that Severus would wake without a doubt, and she didn't fight the tears that streamed down her cheeks as she finally allowed herself to believe that Severus might live. He wrapped her into a tight embrace and she buried herself in his snowy beard. After a few minutes, when her sobs had subsided, he pulled back and smiled broadly.
"If you are feeling up to it, I do believe Poppy could use some help with those hysterical fourth years."
She walked blindly through a haze, a fog that obscured everything but Harry's back and she hurried after him.
"Don't you remember, Draco's dying?"
"Malfoy?"
"Nothing can save him, not even me."
"Draco?"
He disappeared and Hermione sprinted after him, arms outstretched, until she found him again, standing before a large bed in the fog. She was going to admonish him for running away when she noticed Draco in the bed, skin hanging off his bones like some sort of undead creature and she gasped when he looked at her, his eyes hollow, his hair a cheap wig hanging off his skull.
"I'm dying," he wheezed. "Don't you remember?"
As she watched, his skin began to wither and decompose, the white hair blowing away, leaving only the bones, one hand reaching out to Harry, who took it and lay on the bed by the skeleton.
Hermione bolted upright in the chair, out of breath and bewildered as she looked around. A narrow strip of light slipped through the door to the hospital wing into Poppy's office, and she calmed once she recognized her surroundings. She glanced at her watch, dismayed to see she had only been asleep a few hours.
The dreams were growing stronger and more bizarre every time she slept. Poppy had offered her a dreamless sleep potion earlier when she had mentioned her difficulty in sleeping. After several minutes of internal debate, Hermione finally decided to take one, so that she could be well-rested for watching Severus later that evening.
That decided, she went to a warded cabinet behind the desk and repeated the password Poppy had given her. She easily found the potion, poured out the recommended dosage, then took it in one big gulp and a little burp. She managed to make it back to the cot before sleep overtook her, but she was asleep before her head hit the pillow.
Blood pounded through his head, an incessant tribal drumbeat being played by unseen savages, and Severus forced his eyes open. Surrounded by inky blackness, he thought perhaps his eyelids were not working until he began to make out shapes in the dark. He turned his neck and determined that he was in a bed in some sort of hospital. He tried to move his arms and legs, but they refused to cooperate. He turned his head the other way and saw a dark figure slumped in a chair, bushy curls going every direction.
"Hermione," he tried to say, but his tongue was thick, completely filling his mouth as he opened it, attempting to talk, but the words came out in a mishmash of syllables.
Hermione jerked awake at the noise and gasped when she saw him staring at her. She leaned forward and lit the candle on the bed stand.
"Water," he managed, the words slurred but understandable.
She jumped up and poured a glass of water. Severus tried to reach up to hold the glass, but his muscles were too weak to lift his arms off the sheets more than a few inches and he was unable to sit up.
"Here," she murmured, sitting on the edge and gently lifting his neck so that he could reach the glass in her other hand.
He gulped the water quickly, like a man stranded in the desert for weeks, and he sputtered as he took in too much. Hermione set the glass back down, lowered his head back to the pillow and wiped his face with the sleeve of her robe, but she did not leave the bed.
"Careful, better drink slowly."
His mouth rewetted, Severus found he could speak, though his usual liquid silk voice sounded more like a screeching frog to his own ears.
"What happened?"
"We were at Ginny's quidditch game when we were attacked by Death Eaters."
"I remember that, but everything else is hazy."
"I'm not surprised. You were hit three times by avada kedavra."
His voice creaked as he asked, "Three times?" Hermione nodded. "I suppose the potion does indeed work."
"So it would seem. How do you feel?"
"As if death might be preferable."
"Well, I hope not because Poppy and I worked very hard to keep you from death." She pulled out her wand and said, "Relax, I'm going to take your readings."
Severus watched as Hermione hovered over him, moving her wand from point to point on his body, her eyes fixed determinedly on the wand in her hand, and his heart swelled. He had been close to death before, on more occasions than he cared to remember, but it was the first time he was truly glad to have been spared. Hermione straightened, satisfied with his results, and placed her wand back inside her robes.
"I'm going to tell Poppy you're awake," she said, and disappeared behind the curtain.
He concentrated all his energy and pushed himself up a bit, managing to get his shoulders up on the headboard. He panted from the effort, and couldn't push up further, though his current situation was not very comfortable. Just then, Poppy bustled in.
"Severus! How wonderful to see you awake!" she cried. "Hermione's gone to tell Albus."
He scowled and said reluctantly, "I need help sitting up."
She helped him sit up fully, settling a pillow in the small of his back for comfort. She turned to the bed stand and reached for an opaque bottle.
"It is time for more strengthening potion, I should think."
Severus gratefully accepted the potion, could feel it roaring through his muscles and energizing them. He pushed the covers back and swung his legs over the side of the bed.
"Severus," Poppy warned, her voice severe, "I will not let you leave this bed."
"Gods, woman, I just want to stand," he snipped, gingerly moving his weight to his feet.
He stood for a moment before swaying precariously. Poppy threw an arm around him and guided him back to the bed.
"You'll be here until I am satisfied," she said, her voice and eyes fierce, and he knew she would brook no argument. "We were all worried about you, especially Hermione. She never left."
His eyes jumped to her, but she busied herself replacing the blankets he had thrown off.
"What day is it?"
"Sunday."
His mind reeled. He had been here since the attack on Thursday, and Hermione had stayed the entire time, even missing her classes.
"Are you thirsty?"
He nodded and Poppy handed him a glass of water. As he finished drinking, Albus Dumbledore entered through the curtain, wearing emerald green robes over a long, grey nightgown, followed by Hermione. Severus's eyes lingered on hers for a moment before he tore them away to look at the old wizard who sat down on the bed beside him.
"Severus!"
"Headmaster."
"How are you feeling?"
"I've felt worse." He narrowed his eyes and allowed a small grin to escape as he added, "Though I'm sure I don't look any worse than normal."
Poppy clucked disapprovingly as Hermione and Albus chuckled, though everyone was relieved to see he retained some semblance of a sense of humor.
"Oh, Severus you do sell yourself short, as I'm sure the two ladies will attest to," Albus said with a broad smile as he gazed at Hermione.
She laughed uncomfortably, her eyes shifting to Severus, who watched her with unfeigned interest, and she coughed and said, "He's right." She was glad to see Poppy nod in agreement before she snuck out, back to her office.
He tore his gaze away from Hermione and turned back to Albus and asked, "Was anyone else injured in the attack?"
"Charlie Weasley died, and Arthur and Ginny were both taken to St. Mungo's. Ginny has been released, but Molly thinks Arthur will be there at least a week longer."
Severus sucked in his breath with a hiss and scowled. "I suppose we don't know who led the attack, do we?"
Albus shook his head, but Hermione said, "I would think it was Malfoy, especially after that visit to Hogwarts."
"It was too unorganized to be Draco," Severus countered. "He is very precise and methodical and would have come after me when I was more or less alone, not while completely surrounded by well-trained wizards and witches. My wager would be on Pettigrew."
"I'm inclined to agree with Severus," Albus said. "Draco would not have failed."
"You're probably right," she admitted. "Though it still doesn't explain why they decided to attack us."
"We were probably too tempting an opportunity: Albus, Potter, Arthur Weasley, not to mention you, being Muggle-born."
"Let's not forget yourself, a spy who was found out and still survived."
"I'm almost disappointed that Voldemort didn't care enough to want me alive," he muttered.
"Well, I can see why, who wouldn't want to be tortured before being sent off to a horrifying death," Hermione retorted, her voice seeping with sarcasm. "It's a good thing you decided to take the potion before we left, though I'm somewhat mystified as to why you didn't tell me, or anyone else."
He shrugged. "I did not take it expecting to be ambushed. I have been taking it every day for the last month to chronicle any long term effects after daily usage, of which I have only found an elevation of temperature of several degrees."
"Oh," said Hermione, looking away abashedly.
Suddenly Poppy reappeared holding a bottle of dreamless sleep potion.
"Enough visiting, I must insist my patient rest," she informed them.
Albus grinned and said, "Very well, Madam. Severus, I shall check on you later." He patted Severus's arm as he stood and nodded at Poppy and Hermione as he moved to the curtain. "Good night ladies."
Poppy turned to Severus and tried to hand him the potion, but he pushed her away.
"Severus, if you do not take this potion of your own volition," she began, her eyes glinting, "I'm afraid I must ask Professor Granger here to assist in holding you down while I administer it myself."
"Poppy, I have never once taken one of your sleeping drafts and I am not starting tonight!"
The older witch crossed her arms and glared at him, but Severus, being the reigning master of glares, was impervious and cocked an eyebrow at her. Finally she relented and looked at Hermione.
"Will you be staying here then? To make sure he doesn't sneak away?"
"Um, I -- I don't know, I hadn't really thought about it," Hermione stammered, looking from her to the bed, where Severus watched closely. "I'm not sure that we need to keep watch over him now…. What do you think?"
"Perhaps you could keep me company for awhile," he said, his eyes never having left hers and Hermione found her mouth had gone dry.
"But not for too long, now, Severus," Poppy said breezily as she swept toward the curtain. "Good night, my dears."
Hermione sat down on the chair and chewed her bottom lip as his black eyes bored into her.
"Poppy tells me you've been here since Thursday," he said after a beat.
"Yes, mostly," she said hesitantly, as though unsure of where the conversation was going. "I brought you back from the stadium. I left a few times, to check on the potions and to give assignments to my classes and stretch my legs and keep from murdering anyone -- or Poppy from killing me -- but that was all."
"Thank you."
"For staying?" she asked, a note of surprise entering her voice, and he nodded. "What else could I have done?"
"Gone about your normal life, as I would have expected."
She looked down at her hands. "I -- I couldn't. I was so worried --"
He regarded her in silence as she looked at her hands, the bed, the window, anything but his face, realizing that she couldn't leave for the same reason he was glad she had stayed. His heart exploded into a thousand shards, the glass catching and tearing at his guts. He could no longer ignore the yearning in his heart, was so tired of pretending not to care. Maybe it was the proximity to death but he did not care as he let slip his guise of indifference.
"Hermione," Severus murmured, his voice low and soft, and she raised her brown eyes up to his onyx. "Come here."
She obeyed without question, her legs propelling her towards him without waiting for orders from her brain, which finally kicked in and sent word to them, and she faltered at the edge of the bed. He sensed her hesitation, and he grasped her wrist lightly, pulling her down to the bed. She sat beside him, a myriad of emotions covering her face, and with his other hand, he cupped her face.
"Hermione," he said again, his words sliding over her skin like velvet, warming her with their touch.
Hermione leaned into his touch, his thumb trailing along her cheek, and tears welled in her eyes. He gently pulled her to his chest, tucked her into his arm gently as the tears rolled down her face.
"I thought I was going to lose you," she gasped between sobs and he pulled her closer, and he could feel the tears soaking through his flimsy gown, their wetness warm against his cool skin.
"Shhhhh, shhhhh. It's alright, I'm not going to leave you," he whispered into her hair, his lips caressing the curls. "It'll take more than a hundred Death Eaters to take me away from you."
Hermione sobbed harder and snaked an arm over his chest and hugged him tight. Her wrist dug into his ribs, but Severus didn't care, didn't even notice it, as he lay on the lumpy mattress in the hospital wing absently stroking her hair, and he praised the gods that he had been spared once more.
He felt Hermione fall asleep, her breath soft and even, and he held her tight. He tried to stay awake, there were so many things running around in his mind like escaped fireflies, the potion, Hermione, his classes, but especially the potion, but he couldn't stay awake and he dozed off.
Suddenly Severus felt the weight on the bed shift, and he jerked awake, afraid Hermione was leaving. Instead, he looked up to see the twinkling eyes of Albus Dumbledore and he scowled.
"What the fuck are you doing?" he hissed, and the older wizard smiled broadly.
"I was having trouble sleeping so I decided to check up on the invalid and his caretaker, nothing more." He paused and looked at them over his glasses, Severus's arms around Hermione and her head nestled on his chest, and Albus smiled. "I see things are improving."
"I'm sure you're just thrilled, aren't you? You've been waiting for this for a long time."
"What, to see you happy, Severus? Why, yes, yes I have."
The scowl deepened and Severus looked down at the sleeping figure in his arms.
"Happiness is fleeting."
"That does not mean it is not worthwhile."
"Yes, yes, I know, no need to quote Tennyson at me again."
"I'm glad you finally took notice of what I tell you."
"Do you have any real reason for being here?"
"As I said, I was just checking on you."
"Then get out of here before you wake Poppy and the entire school finds out!"
"Very well," Albus said as he stood, his blue eyes twinkling, and he retreated to the edge of the curtain, "but everyone will know soon enough, for who has ever seen Severus Snape in love?"
Severus growled, a low vibration that rumbled the bed, but the old man was already gone, and he was still too weak to give chase. He scowled and resolved to vigorously defend his reputation as the school bastard, despite anything between himself and Hermione.
But Severus did not see Poppy standing at the office door, a hand over her mouth, covering a toothy grin as Albus approached, nor did he see Albus wink at her on his way out.
___
A/N:
Look, two weeks in a row you get new chapters! I can't promise anything for next chapter because I'm expecting it to be a challenge to write … but some questions might finally be answered! Also, I know some of you might wonder about ol' Sevvie suddenly falling out-of-character, I realize this now, after not having written w/ his POV lately. But I promise, he'll be back to his charming self soon enough.
Thank you, all of you who reviewed, because this fic now has over 200 reviews! You guys are so fucking awesome! Izzy, if you're reading this, get off yer lazy ass and finish that next chapter or I'll ban you from my fic! ;) Rowana, thanks for the 'puff of hair' notice … I got it fixed. Everyone else, thanks for reviewing and please let me know what you think of ch 24!