Team Bonding

Disclaimer; I don't own Stargate yada yada yada... no money mad etc.

Season; 4- ish

Author's note: Madness in it's purest form.

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'We don't remember a thing.' Said Jack, standing defiantly in front of his CO.

'I think the liquid and it's fumes are some kind of narcotic.' Said Sam backing up her own CO's story.

'And me and Teal'c haven't managed to translate the writings on the crate yet but we'll give you a report as soon as we've finished.' Said Daniel wanting to get his own word in.

The commander of the SGC observed his premier team closely as they stood confidently before his desk. Perhaps confidence was the wrong word, smug covered it a little better.

They thought they we're going to get away with it.

But little did they know Hammond knew exactly what was in the crate.

The Tok'ra had informed him (while SG-1 was intoxicated) that a 'crate' mysteriously disappeared from the last planet they were on. This discovery was re-enforced by the fact that Captain Busby, the member youngest of the archaeology department, had managed to decipher the markings earlier this morning, after pulling one of the Jackson/Carter-style all-nighters.

Hammond chuckled at the memory of the caffeine shaking captain hading over her report, knowing the night she must have had he put her on downtime for a couple of days. It actually worked out better this way, because now Hammond had a plan. There wasn't a snowballs chance in hell that SG-1 was getting away with this last escapade.

Oh yes the general had a plan, he was just waiting on re-enforcements.

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'Dad! What are you doing here?' Asked Sam enveloping her father in a huge hug.

Carter senior had turned up at the SGC after receiving not necessarily an urgent message from George Hammond, but an interesting one none the less.

One that detailed the reason why he was really there must be kept secret until they had had a chance to talk face to face.

'I got sometime off, especially since I was injured after my last mission.' He answered nonchalantly. Then adding with a little more enthusiasm, he quipped, 'Can't a man come and visit his daughter once in a while?' grinning mischief evident in his tiring eyes.

Sam knew better than to ask about her father's last mission, no doubt he wouldn't want to talk about it or he wasn't allowed to.

'I'm so glad to see you!' she said finally letting him out of her embrace.

'So what's been going on?' he asked, when he knew fine well what was going on. Although the message may have been cryptic, there where enough clues there to form a firm conclusion that SG-1 had been up to something recently.

Sam blushed ever so slightly and replied, 'Oh nothing much.'

Hmm

Jacob what are you thinking?

I'm thinking my daughter is hiding something and Hammond knows what it is!

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'George, do you want to tell me what's going on with my little girl?' Asked Jacob anxious more than anything.

'Jacob, come in, take a seat.'

Closing the door behind him Jacob did as his old friend asked. I front of him he seen an open file which concerned SG-1. Hammond noticing his interest handed the file over and let him read it.

After reading and re-reading a stunned Carter stuttered his thoughts into words.

'And they claim they don't remember a thing?'

'Yes that's their story.' Said Hammond smiling.

'Jacob if it is what I think it is they should remember every thing, after a little time granted. It just doesn't work like that!'

'Exactly what I thought Jacob.' His smile spread to a grin, ' so how do you feel about getting a little truth?'

'How do you intend to do that?' said Jacob leaning forward.

Jacob what are you doing?

I'm going to find out exactly what happened!

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'SG-1 report to the infirmary.'

Spoke Hammonds voice across the intercom.

SG-1 looked to the heavens as if the voice of God had spoken to them, they where all patiently sitting in Daniel's lab as he frantically tried to translate the writings on the box using digital photos and his trusty blackboard.

'I'm almost there guys, I can have this finished in an hour.' Said Daniel desperately not wanting to leave his latest project and interrupt the momentum.

'I take it your gonna wait here then?' asked Jack, eyebrows skyward in mock surprise.

'Yeah, could you tell the general that me and Teal'c are gonna keep going with the translation.' His eyes wide with the 15 cups of coffee he had ingested in the last two hours.

'Right, I suppose half of SG-1 is better than nothing.' Said Sam heading for the door, 'Bye guys.'

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'Colonel where is Daniel and Teal'c?' enquired Hammond.

'There working on the box, Daniel said he'd have it done in an hour and he was already on coffee number 15.'

'What did you want us down here for anyway sir?' asked Sam.

'Well kiddo, we were wanting to do some tests on the stuff you two drank the other day.' Came Jacobs voice as he entered the room with said liquid.

Simultaneously their shoulders dropped and the shrank back for the ominous crate.

'What?'

'Huh?'

Jacob smirked as he put the crate down an the table, straightening his face before he truned to face half of SG-1.

'We want to test it on some subjects, and SG-1 are the only people we can assure won't have any adverse affects form drinking it. So you two get to play the guinea pig for a few hours.'

Jack stood in shock, if his knee hadn't healed so well he would have collapsed right there, Sam felt similarly.

'Why?' she spoke softly.

Jacob cringed inwardly; this was the hardest part of the plan, trying to convince probably the smartest person on earth to do something extremely stupid.

'Well Sammie, we discovered some interesting chemical bonds and we want to test what it does to the human body, and since you don't remember anything...'

Now there was the smart part; they could either admit to it now or get themselves in deeper. The generals where holding out for the second option and it looked like the 'test subjects' where reacting well to it.

Pride stopped them from admitting they had lied, however black and huge or white and miniscule, their integrity was more important than looking stupid.

The guilt added to this so in the end Jack and Sam agreed to take part.

Unbeknown to them the generals grinned evilly as soon as they turned to the crate.

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'Who do you want?'

'I'll take Sam, we don't want any conflict of interest.'

'Right so that leaves me with Jack.'

Jacob was silent in thought for a moment.

'Do you think we should have brought Daniel and Teal'c down?'

'Maybe, but the colonel and the major should know enough to tell us exactly what happened.'

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Jack and Sam sat happily in the infirmary, identical grins plastered on their faces and cups filled with the 'substance' in their hands.

'Major could you follow me please?'

Sam leapt from the bed and stumbled in the direction of Hammond voice, wine slopping all over the floor.

'Can Jackie come?' she asked.

'No the colonel is going with your father.'

'K bye Jackie.' Said Sam bounding out of the infirmary, and into and unsuspecting sergeant.

'Jake sh'ma going wi you?' Jack asked innocently.

'Yes Jack.'

The two generals walked their drunken charges to opposite isolation rooms. Doors open they could see each other but not here what was being said.

'So Sam do you want to tell me what happened the two days ago?' he asked politely.

'I walk in ma lab, and'sh the guys were in thes'sh lokin' in shum box, Teal said it was alkie... alkie wine, Jackie taste it, Danny cups. Then Jack said homer'sh bald.' At that Sam lost the will to speak for two minutes surrendering to a fit of giggles, pointing wildly in the generals direction she started shouting 'Homer' repeatedly.

Hammond was one seriously pissed off general.

Luckily Jack was steaming ahead with regaling his tale.

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'It's just this last symbol Teal'c.' Said Daniel.

'I believe that symbol means blood or life force Daniel Jackson.'

With that Daniel drew his finger across the line of text mumbling incoherently. He snapped the notebook shut.

'We have to tell Jack and Sam.' He said running from the room in a panic.

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'Where's Major Carter?' he screamed bursting into the infirmary.

A shocked nurse answered. ' She's with the general, so is Colonel O'Neill, they're doing some experiment on that alcohol' she said with a disapproving look.

'Their in ISO rooms three and four.'

And he was gone.

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'Why you little...'

Almost finished with telling Jacob exactly what happened on that momentous day, he suddenly found himself being pounced upon by an angry Tok'ra.

Rushing in to see what happened, Hammond saw Jacobs fingers twitching around his 2IC's neck.

'Homer.' Jack whispered hoarsely.

In between the giggles of an incapacitated Major across the hall vague plea's of

'Daddy stop it!' could be heard.

'Jacob!' barked Hammond.

He released Jack but not before hooking him in the jam before letting him slump into unconsciousness.

In the mean time Daniel came running down the corridor screeching at the top of his voice.....

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And there is where I'll leave it for just now

Anyone have any ideas what it is yet??????????

Mishy

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