Ah, this would be still set in the past sorta...e.e; Oh, and by the way, Naruto and Gaara have no part in this, and surprisingly, not many other people do either, except those who were asses and had to come in and interrupt the bonding time between the Uchiha brothers...oO;
Warnings: We should've been banned for this...XD ItaSasu that's UCHIHACEST that's INCEST that's YOUNG!ITASASU that's probably what some people would consider SHOTA anywho...oO; Whoosh? That's it by the way, don't read if you can't handle sudden jumps from angst to sap to angst to sap again...o.o;
I own noooooothing!
Whee! I really don't know where to go with this...I'm developing a story without even wanting to..all I wanted at first was to make this funny series of little excerpts from RP...and it turned into a story...; Anywho...
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With a poof of smoke, Itachi gated in, walking over to the same building he had sat against before, leaning back and sliding to the ground to a sitting position. A sigh escaped his lips as he looked at his right arm where the bandages were in a bit of a disarray and a little bloody.
Sasuke gated in, drawing the back of his palm along his face as if tired. He sighed.
Itachi looked up, hearing the gate, to see Sasuke.
Sasuke noticed Itachi and brightened. "Aniki," he exclaimed, and ran over, fatigue forgotten.
Shizuka gates in, immediantly stepping away from the Chaos Gate. She sighed, and looks around. She spots the two and waves slightly.
The older Uchiha patted his leg to motion Sasuke to have a seat, smiling wearily.
Shizuka makes her way to the corner of the area wall. She sits down on it and looks up at the starry night virtual sky.
Sasuke sat obediently and stared intently up at Itachi. "What've you been doing, Aniki?"
"Resting...training...missions..." Itachi ruffled the boy's hair affectionately.
Said boy mock-frowned playfully and batted Itachi's hand away from his hair. "That's what you always say, Aniki! I bet you don't do anything but ninja stuff. Don't you ever think about, I dunno, other things?"
Shizuka closes her eyes. Her hair blows in her face, as her Player Character freezes.
All the time... The recently appointed ANBU shook the thought away and sighed, closing his eyes. "Sometimes...did you think...about what I said last night?"
"Nn." Sasuke nodded, trying for dignified but barely achieving solemn. "But Aniki, I do want to be like you. I can't help it! Father's always saying that you're his son, that you're strong..." He trailed off not wanting to say too much. "I want to be like you too. So that Father will say those things about me too!"
Sasuke looked down, brows knit, and didn't mention the other thing. Aniki was acting so weird lately...
The Uchiha prodigy opened his eyes and with a finger under Sasuke's chin he lifted the small boy's head to look him in the eye sternly. "You never said 'I promise'....Sasuke...father is just....the rest of the clan...to them I'm just another tool...something that they can boast about...but they could never hope to achieve the level that I have attained...you see....but still...what he says is not important...grow up to be you...not me..."
The little Uchiha wrenched his face away for a moment. He looked up to Aniki so much, but Itachi's words were swirling inside him, touching off confusion... "I... Aniki, I'll talk to you later, okay? I have to go."
Lifting his chin, Sasuke regarded Itachi solemnly for a moment. "I'll think about what you said," he stated with as much dignity as he could muster.
Sasuke gated out.
Itachi shook his head. Why was he telling Sasuke all these things....? He could see the confusion and a hint of pain in those deep and childish eyes...he'd never meant to...affect Sasuke this way...but...he deserved....to know the truth...he deserved better than Itachi...
Shizuka unfroze and looked around. She gets up and saves. She thrusts her hand through the air, pointing at a star, and logs out.
With a sigh, Uchiha Itachi stood up, shaking his head again as he walked to the gate and vanished in a puff of smoke.
-----Some Time Later...-----
With a puff of smoke, Itachi stood there. He then glanced around through tired obsidian eyes and shook his head, wandering over to a bench and sitting down.
Sasuke gated in and wandered over to Itachi. "Hi, Aniki." He noticed his brother's weary expression with concern. "Are you alright?"
"Hai, Sasuke...I'm fine...just a little tired is all..." An uncharacteristically weary Uchiha smiled at the boy and ruffled his hair again.
"You shouldn't work so hard." The young Uchiha allowed his hair to be ruffled, despite a little voice that said that Aniki was always tired, and why should Sasuke work so hard just to be half-asleep all the time?
"It's not that I work so hard, it's because I think too much." Trying to throw troubles aside, Itachi grinned and patted the bench next to him.
Sasuke frowned. "What d'you think about that makes you so tired? Mother says that you should talk about your problems. She says it makes it easier."
"Yes but Mother doesn't have as many problems as a shinobi, she's a housewife..." Itachi trailed off, looking up at the perpetually starry sky. "So, Sasuke...did you think about what I told you?"
"Nn, yeah," he replied. Clearly wishing to change the subject, Sasuke launched off on a rambling stream of observations about the Ninja Academy. "There's a kid named Uzumaki Naruto who's really an idiot. He fails all the tests and he never pays attention.... Most of the other kids are kind of stupid, anyway..."
"Sasuke..." The older Uchiha said in that 'I know you're avoiding the question now spit it out' tone.
Sasuke tried to look innocent and failed. "Spit what out? I'm not eating anything."
Itachi gave his brother that 'you know what I mean' kind of look, poking his forehead.
Sasuke sighed and gave it up. "Aniki... I thought about it. And I guess if it means that much to you, I promise not to grow up to be like you... Although I'm still not sure what that means..."
The older boy sighed. "And what about the other thing we talked about? Have you figured that out yet?"
Sasuke shrugged helplessly. "I... love you, Aniki, because you're my brother... And I love Mother and Father because they're Mother and Father. But you're my friend, and you help me with things and show me how to do ninja stuff and talk with me... Even though you're so busy."
Itachi picked up Sasuke and put him on his lap, arms around him so he wouldn't fall off. Dark eyes met innocent black spheres and locked there, unmoving, as though piercing his very soul, but deep down in those eyes was that look of helplessness, that look of wanting, that look of sorrow and hurt and a hint of desire all bundled up in one very deep, deep gaze. He was silent as he looked into Sasuke's eyes.
Hunark gates into the area. He was not here to cause trouble, or at least he thought he wasn't. He looked at both of the PC's with blood red eyes before wandering off of the platform. Hunark noticed that they looked like brother's, so he thought they might be here to talk with eachother, thus, leaving them alone. (A/N: Why do people have to do that shit?)
Sasuke was still for a moment, then laid his head on Itachi's shoulder, his hands clasped around Itachi's neck. Aniki must really be feeling bad. Sasuke didn't want to upset him. Besides, it was nice. Father never hugged Sasuke, and Mother had seemed so distracted lately. The girls at school just giggled and stayed away from him, and he didn't really have any friends among the boys... For a small boy, Sasuke was surprisingly lonely.
Itachi closed his eyes and sighed, one broad hand rubbing the boy's back gently, the other lazily running fingers through raven hair. There was that pang of guilt and burn of sin again...it would never leave him while he was with Sasuke..
Hunark watched the two brothers rejoice their own meeting before he kneeled down at the Chaos Gate's edge and looked about the town. Many people passing and doing daily needs. He wasn't here for information, just here to be here. He didn't know why, but he was. (A/N: Yeah..."rejoice their own meeting".... . ; Suuuuuure..XD)
Sasuke sighed and closed his eyes. He was tired... Too much time spent practicing jutsu, trying to measure up to Itachi's standard so that Father would have a reason to be proud. Too much time studying so that he'd make top marks on tests at school. Too much time spent in pursuit of becoming like Itachi...
Sasuke...if you had any idea what you're doing to me.... The hand rubbing Sasuke's back stopped slowly, something warm and wet falling on the boy's shoulder.
The younger Uchiha looked up. "...Aniki? Are you alright?" Sasuke's voice was quiet, the tiniest hint of fear creeping into it.
Hunark looked over and clenched his fist, he longed for someone who actually cared about him. Hunark then turns back to the alley of people who continued to stare at his red eyes, staring right back at them. Hunark closed his eyes for a minute, getting used to it. (A/N: He's really annoying me...)
Careful arms held Sasuke firmly, but not too tight, as Itachi didn't answer, more drops of warm wet dropping to the boy's shirt.
Sasuke patted Itachi's shoulder, not knowing quite what to do. Aniki never showed sadness or even much emotion at all. Sasuke tightened his arms slightly, lost.
Hunark just watched, then he walked to the Chaos Gate and gated out. He seemed to be angered, but not at the two brothers.
Hunark gates out of the area. (A/N: ABOUT DAMN TIME YOU FOUND OUT YOU WEREN'T WANTED HERE!)
"Sasuke..." Despite his tears Itachi's voice was calm and composed. I love you... "There's so much..." He paused. So much I want from you...want you to want from me... "I wish I could share with you..." But we're brothers...such sin is unforgivable... "But what I feel is not something that can be shared...should be shared..." Because it's forbidden... "I don't want to drag you down too..." I cannot share such sins with such an innocent, beautiful, pure boy..
"It's okay, Aniki," Sasuke soothed, face against Itachi's shoulder. "You don't have to tell me anything you don't want to."
But I do want to...I...just can't... He turned his head and let it rest on Sasuke's shoulder, soaking the boy's shirt with his tears.
Sasuke was quiet, waiting for the episode to pass.
Soon Akiki'd be alright again. He'd stop being tired and sad; he'd stop asking strange questions. Soon Sasuke'd have his old brother back, aloof and tender, impassive and compassionate. Soon everything would be the way it had been before.
Soon.
The older Uchiha's breathing was still as steady as before, though slightly heavy, and hot against Sasuke's neck, as he held the frail boy close to him, still not saying a word.
Sasuke squirmed a little, as young boys are wont to do when held down too long. But he was patient. He told himself that a good shinobi had powerful skills of observation, observation that might mean waiting for hours or even days in once place, waiting for a change or a sign...
Itachi's breath stayed the same, in the same spot, for quite some time. He then shifted slightly, pulling Sasuke closer to him on his lap, breath catching just a bit but obviously as close as it was to Sasuke's ear. Strong arms were still gentle but almost trapping, as though not wanting to let go.
Sasuke wiggled a bit more, not quite liking the prolonged stillness, but not wanting to upset Itachi. A small sound of near-frustration escaped from his throat as he shifted.
The older boy's breath caught again as his eyes opened for a moment wide, and his grip tightened unknowingly as he mentally smacked himself for that. Bad Itachi, no you will NOT!(A/N: Comic relief?) He swallowed hard and tried to get his breathing back to normal.
"Nn?" Sasuke lifted his head and looked questioningly at Itachi.
The prodigy of the Uchiha clan swallowed again, being eye to eye with Sasuke again. No you will NOT don't even think about it! NO! "Sasuke I..." he couldn't finish what he was trying to say, his mouth moved but no words came out, and again he swallowed, trying to force back down the lump that was his spastically thumping heart that had just so happened to decide to try and choke him by jumping up into his throat. He tried to look away but that too was a failure. He settled instead for waiting to see what would happen first, Sasuke moving and breaking eye contact, or him losing it.
Little Sasuke cocked his head at the odd face Itachi was making, almost as if he was afraid. But that couldn't be right--Itachi wasn't afraid of anything.
...Was he? "Aniki...?"
There was that yearning yet sorrow all over Itachi's face, showing in every inch of it, his eyes, the way his lower lip trembled in the slightest bit. "Forgive me...Sasuke..." He barely managed to utter in a whisper.
"For what? You didn't do anything." It was alarming to see Itachi so emotional, seeing as how normally he was a poster boy for repression... There really was something wrong, despite Itachi's insistences to the contrary.
Dear god forgive me.... One hand slid through the boy's hair and cradled his head carefully, the other tilting the boy's chin up slightly. The look in Sasuke's eyes tore him apart but in the same sense it drove him mad. I'm so sorry... Itachi closed his eyes and leaned forward, pressing his lips to the younger boy's in a kiss overflowing with long held back forbidden emotions. Gods Sasuke I'm so sorry...
Sasuke's body stiffened, back rigid. He didn't pull away... but then, he didn't move at all. Hands clenched unknowningly into fists, he stayed absolutely still, expression overflowing with numb confusion.
A single tear fell down Itachi's check and dripped onto Sasuke's before he pulled back and looked sadly into the boy's eyes. "...For that..." His voice was torn, every audible sound streaked with pain...he'd told himself he'd never do it...Sasuke must hate him...
After a few minutes the younger Uchiha simply slid his arms around Itachi's neck again--they had fallen in his astonishment--and buried his face in Itachi's neck, in the warm, familiar feel of rough cloth and skin.
I'm not going to cry--only weaklings cry , Sasuke told himself, and wept despite it.
Itachi was a bit surprised by Sasuke's actions, as he'd half expected the boy to kick him and run away disgusted. He put his arms once more around Sasuke's waist and cradled him in his arms, resting his head gently against the younger boy's head on his shoulder. It was a while before he spoke again, though only in a whisper. "Sasuke...do you hate me..."
Sasuke shook his head slightly and tightened his grip. Black eyes staring dully out, half-open, warm tears soaking into Itachi's shirt. Confusion swirled inside him, confusion and numb disbelief, incomprehension.
Sasuke was mourning. What, he did not know. It was the death of something he had cherished, perhaps, or the passing of an era. Either way he knew that when it passed he would not be the same again.
Bellana gates in
She steped from the gate and looked around. " Hmmm this place really brings back memories." She said as she walked down one of the streets. (A/N: WHY DAMN YOU!)
Itachi leaned back and looked into Sasuke's eyes again, through tears that threatened to fall even still. He kissed away some of Sasuke's tears, gently, then kissed the boy again, softly, reassuringly, or so he tried to be, upon hearing another enter he instinctively drug both of them into cammouflage, stealth was the ninja's best quality.
Bellana did catch a glimpse of the two other Pc's in town, but said nothing about what she had saw. She just continued with her wandering through the town. (A/N: Goawaygoawaygoawaygoaway...)
Sasuke shook his head in reply, not knowing quite what he was denying, just knowing that his very world balanced on this strangeness--these odd sensations, these confused and confusing feelings welling up. He bowed his head, dark hair vivid against the pale back of his neck, face in shadow.
Itachi had done what he'd never wanted to ever do...Itachi was ashamed of his utter lack of control, but if Sasuke didn't feel the way he felt after this...and if Sasuke didn't hate him...he couldn't live with both, it was love or hate and neither just wasn't something he could bear...
If he couldn't make Sasuke love him...he would have to make Sasuke hate him...
Bellana stoped walking down the street and headed back to the gate figuring that she might have scared the two pc's. (Thank you, now go...)
Shuddering breaths seared into his lungs. Sasuke's weeping tapered off. He didn't move, didn't speak, didn't raise his head, staring at Itachi's chest without properly seeing it.
At last he drew in a ragged breath and murmered, "Aniki..."
Bellana reached the gate and turned. She took one last look around then shruged and gates out.(Okay, bye now! Don't come back again!)
Bellana saves and gates out
Itachi was almost afraid at what words could possibly come next..."Nn...Sasuke?"
"Why did you do that?" Sasuke lifted his head, eyelashes clumped together with tears but eyes finally dry, his face pale. "Why did you have to do that?" His voice was sharp and sorrowful, almost angry. "Why couldn't you just pretend we were like we were before?" Once the words started, he couldn't stem them--they flowed forth faster and faster-- "Why did you have to go and do that to me just because you knew I wanted you to? Why did you have to pretend you wanted to do that to me?" The last was howled more than spoken, rising sharply at the end before abruptly cutting off.
"Sasuke.." Itachi choked at the boy's words, had he heard correctly? Sasuke...Sasuke had wanted him to do that...He reached up and brushed a wisp of hair out of Sasuke's eyes. "You're beautiful when you're angry...but you're even more beautiful when you smile..." He paused for a moment, eyes softening as he ran his fingers through the boy's hair. "I wasn't pretending Sasuke...I swear it on my life...Smile for me, Sasuke?"
Sasuke muttered bitterly, "You're lying... You want to make me feel better. You're protecting me, Aniki. You're always protecting me... I wish that for once I could be the strong one..."
He turned his head at the unwanted, yet so painfully desired, sensation of fingers running through his hair, swallowing convulsively.
Itachi bit his lip at the biting words, the pain that was laced into each breath. "I want to make you feel better because I love you Sasuke...because I don't want to hurt you...because I have loved you...I just didn't want you to have to go through the same thing...Sasuke...please..." He turned the boy's chin to face him again, looking into his eyes. "If you don't believe me I'll prove to you I'm not lying..."
Looking up at Itachi's face, at his eyes so full of sincerity and sorrow, at the face of the person he loved and admired more dearly than anything else in the world, something broke inside of Sasuke. His mouth flooded with a metallic taste, salty-bitter like tears, familiar as blood. "I lied to you, Aniki," he whispered. "I don't love you because you're my brother; I love you because you're Itachi, because I can't get free of you, because everyone wants me to be you... I hate it... I hate that I'm supposed to love you as Aniki instead of Itachi, but I can't hate you, and I hate that I can't hate you..."
"Sasuke...Everybody else...they don't matter...screw them all...I can just get rid of them if they're a problem...I want to...they hurt you, didn't they...I...can't forgive that..."
Sasuke shook his head again, shoulders bowed forward like defeated wings, hands limp against Itachi's sides.
"Sasuke..." Itachi's voice trailed off and he simply pulled the boy into a strong embrace, kissing the top of his head and nuzzling his face in the soft, raven black hair. "It hurts to see you like this..."
The younger Uchiha pulled back and attacked Itachi's mouth with a sudden and bitter passion, urgency lending a bruising force to his movements. Sasuke gripped Itachi's waist, pulling himself closer, wriggling forward.
Itachi was astounded at first at the sudden onslaught, but he quickly shifted gears, kissing back with equal ferver as his tongue slid past those tender lips to carress the velvet softness within, exploring. He found one hand with fingers tangled in the boy's hair, the other wandering along his back, arms, and shoulders, much to a lack of his control, not that he minded really...
Sasuke registered soft pressures moving over his body, Itachi's hands. His hands slid from Itachi's sides to clasp around his back and Sasuke closed the tiny remaining gap between them, not even an inch to separate the two... He kissed Itachi with a ferocity born of hopelessness, of desperate loneliness, of an endless striving to succeed that left him exhausted and empty. He kissed Itachi because he couldn't think of what else to do--because he couldn't think at all, wasn't even sure that he should, wasn't sure that a close examination would permit this to go on...
Itachi's tongue danced across the roof of Sasuke's mouth lightly before he broke the kiss and moved down the boy's jawline to his neck, not stopping there but continuing down the soft, pale skin.
The little Uchiha made a small sound of frustration--or perhaps anger, or perhaps something else--and slid his arms up the back of Itachi's shirt, feeling the muscles work. Sasuke closed his eyes and surrendered, and the dark tide pulled him under, and after that he didn't stop to think, didn't even want to.
Itachi inhaled deeply of Sasuke's smells, every last bit registering like the sweetest chocolate to his brain, as he delicately licked and sucked at the skin just below Sasuke's jaw, his fingers either running through silky smooth hair or up and down along the boy's spine.
His back arched reflexively, neck bared to Itachi's ministrations. Sasuke whimpered in the back of his throat, fingers digging into Itachi's back.
Despite the warmth the older boy shivered, the hand that had been trailing along Sasuke's back now widely gripping at the back of the boy's shirt, trying to pull him even closer than was physically possible.
Sasuke struggled to break free, pushing Itachi's hands away, and stumbled off his lap. Impulsively he leaned forward and kissed Itachi on the corner of his mouth before sprinting away and gating out.
He leaned back against the bench and stared at the sky blankly, not really looking at it, but moreso replaying what had just happened in his head...his face was a bit flushed still, and his breathing still a bit ragged, though it was slowly calming down. He could still smell Sasuke on his clothes and in the air, still feel hot breaths on his neck and the warmth of the small body against his chest...it couldn't be real...it was too...too...he shook his head and vanished in a puff of smoke...he needed time to think...