"Attention, all personal. Incoming wounded.", rang the speakers throughout the MASH unit.

The MASH 4077th was stationed 3 miles from the front line of the Korean War, 1950. As the loud speaker was saying the announcement again surgeons, nurses, and many others were running through the camp to either the helicopter or the Emergency Ward to get cleaned and suited up for another day of meat ball surgery. In all the confusion, doctors and nurses were being jostled left and right. Then from the heart of the confusion came Captain Benjamin Franklin Pierce, or as most called him, Hawkeye Pierce. He was the best surgeon they had and was a very funny man, but when it came to operating on someone, he was very earnest and he never faltered.

Hawkeye ran to near the emergency room ward and started help bring in the wounded. When he got to the ward, he went to the truck to get a patient. The one he got was horribly injured and his tags read Damon Spenning. He couldn't have been more then 17, and yet had lied about his age to get into the war and fight and try to be a hero. They saw things like that a lot. Looked like he was standing by either a mortar shell or a grenade when it went off because he had shrapnel fragments all up and down his right side. Luckily, none got to his head but he was bleeding horribly. Hawkeye looked to his left and saw Captain B.J. Hunnicut standing over a patient and telling the nurse to take him inside and

have him checked out immediately. B.J. had a brown haversack near him and Hawkeye need it so that he could try and slow the bleeding.

"B.J.! I need you to bring me that haversack that is by you. This kid needs intensive care but I want to see if I can slow the bleeding down.", yelled Hawkeye over a couple of new nurses who were yelling and screaming and two of them were so disgusted that they went around to the other side of the ward and threw up.

"Alright. Let me just check this soldier out real quick. Shouldn't take me more then a minute.", B.J. replied.

As soon as B.J. checked out the soldier and told the nurses what need to be done, he grabbed the haversack and ran it over to Hawkeye. When he handed it to Hawkeye, Hawkeye opened it and started to grab towels out of the bad to put pressure on the wounds. When he applied pressure the first time, a voice came from the Damon's mouth and in a very low, baffled, whisper he gasped out, "W-where am I and......what happened?", Damon looked at his leg and saw the wound and then said, "can you save me doc, or am I going to die?"

Hawkeye, almost with tears in his eyes, looked over at B.J., and then back at Damon and said in a faltered voice, "Well Damon, you've

lost a lot of blood and your wound looks pretty bad but we will do everything in out power to help you survive.", and with that Hawkeye decreed

that he and B.J. be the only ones who operate and check on Damon.

When Hawkeye said this, a very abominable and callousmajor got very angry because he did not like Hawkeye or B.J. and thought they were horrible surgeons. His name was Major Frank Burns, and if he had his way, Hawkeye and B.J. would be court marshaled and not be aloud to work on any patients. Frank went to see Colonel Sherman T. Potter to tell him he that he should think he should be the one working on Damon. He walked into the office and in a gallant voice told Colonel Potter what he thought. When he finished his explanation, Colonel Potter looked at him for about 5 seconds and then said, "Whoever said war is hell must have been in an outfit with you because all you do is moan and complain about Pierce and Hunnicut so that you can take their place, and frankly I am tired of hearing it so shove it in your ear and get out of

my office! And that's an order!", yelled Colonel Potter, and then concluding with, "Oh, and I don't want to ever catch you using the Colonels latrine again!"

Back in the emergency room, about 3 hours later, Hawkeye and B.J. were imminent on finishing on Damon. Damon survived and was very lucky that he did because things were not looking good there for a while. After he recovered, Hawkeye and B.J. had a helicopter come and get him and have it fly him to the airport in Sole and from there he would fly home. After all the excitement, Hawkeye and B.J. went back to their tent and Hawkeye walked over to the still and made them both a martini. "Wow, that was some crazy day, huh B.J.?", Hawkeye commented.

"Yeah, I don't think we've had that much wounded for at least a year. But I can tell you that after this martini is gone, I'm going to get

some well deserved sleep." B.J. replied.

As B.J. said that, an announcement came over the loud speaker and said, "Attention, all personal. Incoming wounded."

"Well B.J., looks like that well deserved sleep is going to have to wait because we have some company coming over for dinner.",

Hawkeye said with a smirk.

They put their martinis down, walked to the door. Hawkeye opened the door and said, "Ladies first!" as a joke and sprinted out the door

across the camp to run away from B.J. as B.J. chased him down to the Mess tent and inside while he yelled, "I'll get you Hawkeye and you know it!".

The two ran into the tent and knocked over Frank in the process, making him spill all the food on his tray on his clothes. Hawkeye and B.J. then ran back out the Mess tent doors and ran to the Emergency ward so they could prepare for surgery. As Frank got up, he said in a very angry voice, "I swear, I will get those two idiots if its the last thing I do on this planet!"

As he was saying that, Colonel Potter came in. "What the hell are you doing on the ground, Burns? And why do you have food all over your clothes? Well, never mind that cause we have more casualties now get going, and be sure to get your clothes washed after, damnit. I don't want any slobs in my outfit. Now get going!"

And with that said, Frank got up and wobbled out of the Mess tent and started walking towards the Emergency ward, mumbling something to himself angrily. After four hours of intense work in the E.R., Hawkeye and B.J. looked as if they were going to fall asleep standing up. "Nice job today you two," Colonel Potter said, smiling and then continued, "now go get some rest. You two have had a very hectic day. If anymore wounded come, we will only come and get you if its serious cause you really need your rest."

"Thanks Colonel," Hawkeye said, "but if they are any wounded, just come and get us. We wouldn't be such great surgeons if we didn't do so much surgery on all this kids filled with lead."

"He's right you know, Potter? Just come and get us. You have said it yourself, we are the two best damn surgeons you have ever seen so just come and get us, alright?" B.J. said softly, about to fall asleep.

"Well if that's what you two want."

"It is Colonel, trust us!" Hawkeye said with a wide smile on his face. "Now then, come have a martini with us Colonel and take a load off. When it comes to R and R, we are the only two you can come to who do it right," Hawkeye continued while walking to their tent, "so lets go boys and girls! To the still!"

And with that said, the three surgeons walked to Hawkeye and B.J.'s tent to have a drink and to sleep. While they were walking, Frank came out of his tent yelling extremely loud. "You bumbling idiots! Do you have any idea what you did to me today?! My clothes are all covered in food because you knocked me to the ground! If that wasn't enough, you have humil.....", Frank was yelling until he noticed Colonel Potter was with them.

"Oh, uh, he he, Colonel, what are you doing here?" Frank said, starting to sweat profusely and rubbing the back of his neck.

"Frank, what the hell are you yelling about now? I swear if its not one thing its another with you, now shut up before I have you arrested for the disturbance of the peace!" Colonel Potter yelled, his voice cracking.

"But, I, uh..." Frank tried to stammer something out, but couldn't.

"Now get out of here!" Colonel Potter yelled, looking him dead in the eyes with the meanest and angriest looking eyes Frank had ever seen.

"Uh, um, y-y-yes sir!" Frank stammered while saluting and then running away.

"That was remarkable Sherman!" B.J. said, smiling.

"I have never seen you Frank's face so damn pale before!" Hawkeye said, gasping for breath because he was laughing so hard.

"Well, it was about time someone put him in his place and I was just the man to do it. Now how bout that martini you were promising me? Potter said with a smirk on his face.

"Your right, lets go have those martinis." B.J. said.

"Right then, to the tent!" Hawkeye yelled and pointing towards the tent, still trying to catch his breath from seeing Frank so pale.

As the three walked inside the tent, the word of what had happened to Frank had spread, and Frank was humiliated. And that's how the surgeons liked it at the 4077th, when Frank was put in his place. It was just another day at the 4077th.