"Are you sure this will work?" Tegan asked.
The Doctor reacted to her tone and lifted an eyebrow. His gait was steady and slow which allowed her to keep up with him. "You are feeling rather like your old self, aren't you?"
Tegan gave him a scowl. "I've got a headache," she said simply. "But are you sure this will work?"
With a hum, he slipped his arm around her waist to help her walk faster. She followed his lead, quickening her pace as much as she was able. He nodded. "You didn't sleep nearly enough in my opinion. And yes, I'm sure that this will work, Tegan. It has to. As I see the situation, this is the only way that I can get Peri out of the Capital City without getting caught. It is a way they will not be expecting."
"And if you do it, Doc, you'll be a hunted criminal, won't you?" She asked. His hand tightened on her waist.
"Yes, but I have dealt with that situation previously. I assure you I can live with being a criminal."
"They've hunted you before?" She asked, surprised.
The Doctor leaned back as he crested the hill and went down the other side. Tegan felt him gently ease up some of the speed. Tegan was glad it was a cold planet. She was sure that if it had been warm, she would be exhausted by now. "Yes," he said simply. "Yes, they have."
"Care to share?" she pressed.
He opened his mouth and gave her a glance. "Yes, well, Tegan, they don't allow Time Lords to leave Gallifrey unless there is a mission or a reason. I have neither by their standards."
"Rabbits, but you're their President..."
"Again, very true," the Doctor stated as he gave a chuckle, "I am their President. And I am a wanted criminal in most cases. They overlook that situation when it is to their advantage."
"Cripes..." she sighed with agitation. "You're avoiding the conversation. You're not answering the question."
"Maybe you aren't asking the right question," he stated. She went to argue with him and he embraced her waist to bring her body in flush with his.
"Damn Time Lord," she hissed. "I'm not sure I like you with this sort of reactions."
"That wasn't what you said this morning," he teased. He sighed as they reached the bottom of the hill and sobered. "Once, a long time ago, I left Gallifrey in a stolen TARDIS. You know that much already. It was right after my graduation from the Academy. I couldn't stand the lifestyle here. Devon and I are wanted criminals in different ways. Dissenters are not...well thought of."
"Why does that not surprise me," Tegan said, lightening up a bit. "But there's more to that story."
"Quite a lot more, Tegan," he said seriously. "Going forward with the story, I ran with Susan and then with various others until I was captured by the Time Lords while dealing with the War Lord. My companions were taken from me; I was exiled to Earth. The accounts were set to zero; I was to help the CIA out whenever it needed me and eventually, I was given my freedom once more."
Tegan nodded. "Doc," she said gently. "I do know that much. It's what happened before you left Gallifrey...and if you don't like them so much that you left them like that, why do you adhere to some of their..."
"Some of their culture...?" He asked. Then he stopped walking at the top of the next hill. He led her to sit and sat beside her. "Time to rest, Tegan. We have all day to get back." He sat beside her and crossed his legs. She almost wearily leaned into him. "Tegan, does the length of time you've been away from Earth change the fact that you have Scottish ancestry? That you celebrate Christmas? That you talk with an Australian accent?"
She took his point immediately. "Hell's teeth, Doc, but I like my Scottish heritage and my family. I like Christmas..."
"But if I showed you reasons not to believe in them, to adhere to them...would you give them up easily? What did you adhere to on Sylvania? What kept you yourself despite of the pressures?"
Tegan sighed. "My belief in myself and where I came from," she agreed.
"I can't pick and choose my heritage, Tegan. I can try to change situations. Which is easier to do? Force change from the outside, or lead change from the inside?" At her sigh, he smiled. "I knew you were going to ask. And I am a Time Lord. Sometimes I have to look at the heart of the society and believe the best in it in order to believe the best in myself."
"Rabbits," Tegan commented.
He nodded. "Yes, well...the Scripts that I found were enough to make me question quite a large bit and dug up some very old graves. External information to an internal problem. I expect they will be prosecuting me for holding onto a confirmed truth," he commented. "And I really would rather not deal with that situation, Tegan. So yes, I will separate myself from the culture again and adhere to what I believe are the ideals of my society." He looked at her affectionately. "As I suppose you always will adhere to the utopian image of good human nature."
Tegan frowned and folded her arms around her legs. "I can understand that, I suppose. If you can't be true to yourself, who can you be true to?"
"My sentiments exactly."
She nodded and touched at the strange grey grass.
He shifted a little and looked off to the horizon where the gleaming spires of the Capital City rose. "You can accept that of me?" he asked quietly.
"Of course," she said without hesitation. "I've gotten to know you, Doc. I know that one of the things I can always count on is you to be true to your beliefs. Even as Supremo, you did. Albeit with a little more arrogance than usual..."
He chuckled. "And you even said you loved me in the heat of that..."
"Hell's teeth, you frustrated me into that admission," she admitted a little loudly.
With a nod, he remained silent. He opened his mouth and took several deep breaths. "If I were to say I was passionate about you, Tegan, and then reassert my emotional detachment, leaving you standing with the knowledge, but no reciprocation...it would hurt you. I understand that."
Tegan was taken by surprise. She gasped a breath and glanced at the Doctor. He was watching her closely. She had to remember that although he had his emotions, he was still the computer minded Time Lord she had always known. And the one she loved.
"And if I were to never say it, you would still care about me in a vacuum...I, now," he punctuated the word with a nod. "Now I know what that could possibly mean to you, how it would make you feel. And all of this makes me regret that I didn't...interact....more with my companions."
Tegan struggled. She had wanted to hold her cards to her chest and figure out a nice thin line to walk. Part of her had been angry with herself that she was unable to walk away from him, even though she knew he would never be able to reciprocate. She knew she needed the reciprocation. But recently she had found she wanted the relationship with him, regardless.
He was looking to her for guidance in the situation; he was new to this emotion thing. But he would have to get his emotions detached again. They couldn't travel without it. And she would be left holding the bag. And quite simply, as tired as she was, she wasn't sure she could handle that. She felt fragile.
She knew she would fight being fragile.
She took a deep breath and closed her eyes. "Cripes, Doc. You care about me. I know you do. Everything that you've done, this spirit thing, deconstructing your own psyche..."
"Yes, well..." he cleared his throat. "I suppose...I...do, in fact...that is I rather...I suppose that behind the barrier...that maybe...rather...I suppose actions speak louder than words, but words are necessary...I do..."
Tegan reached up and covered his lips with her fingers. She shook her head. It was a spontaneous reaction, but she gave into it and trusted her intuition in the matter. To soften the action, she leaned in and pressed a kiss against his pliable lips. "Don't..."
"Tegan," he sighed exasperated.
"Don't." She repeated. "That's an order, Supremo."
She felt her heart melt at his words and if she wasn't sitting, she knew she would have to find a place quickly to collapse. He was a dangerous man with emotions, and an even more dangerous one with words. With a sigh, she tried to draw a deep breath. She hadn't thought that his words could have surprised her, affected her in that manner. She knew he cared and a small part of her was angry that it hadn't had been enough.
But what could she do...they were going to have to run for their lives in a matter of hours. All of this would have to be thought over later. And she hoped her heart wouldn't go cold from the future she knew was coming.
She gave him another kiss and rubbed at his cheek. "We should get going," she said, simply. "Cripes, we've got a long way to go."
He brushed his hand down her cheek. "Ah, yes...we do, don't we?"
Peri had slept lightly the night before, but regardless, after retiring to her room in a huff, she remained alert. She paced the floor, arms crossing and uncrossing over her chest. The Doctor had been gone for almost three days. From what he had said to her before he left, she was under the impression that the people he was looking for were close. At this point, she thought, the situation with Tegan had to be over with one outcome or another. The Doctor would be coming back.
And whether or not the situation with the Doctor turned her stomach was irrelevant. She couldn't remain on Gallifrey; she knew that the Doctor wouldn't remain on the planet either. He wouldn't be prosecuted if he could help it. And no matter what she thought of him, she knew he wouldn't leave her to languish in a place he wouldn't remain himself.
She also knew that, somewhere in his personality, Supremo still lurked. He would have a plan.
And, like Tegan had helped to train her to do, she was prepared. She had to be. Either Tegan was alive or dead and either way, the Doctor would be leaving the planet.
Peri wondered if the death of Tegan would affect the Doctor as deeply as it would her.
"Hell," Peri whispered. She felt tearing in her eyes and wiped at them viciously. She couldn't cry and fall apart or she would never get out of the situation.
"I know he's going to do something, but what?" She huffed and paced another round in the room.
The Doctor stood motionless within a stone's throw of the entrance to the Capital City. Tegan was agitated and fidgeted often, crossing and uncrossing her tired arms over her chest. "Where are they?"
With a sigh, the Doctor lifted his eyebrow and rolled his neck. "Brave heart, when has one of my plans fallen through..."
As she opened her mouth to remind him, he continued: "Recently?"
Tegan nodded. "All right, you do have a point..."
He turned, but before he could say anything to Tegan he saw people approaching. He smiled and waved his hand towards the throng. Tegan sighed and uncrossed her arms. "The cavalry has arrived."
"Yes, well...I admit it does look rather bleak without the shininess of technology, Tegan," he admitted.
Tegan shook her head. "I know better," she replied. "I know we can do it without guns and..."
"The shininess of technology..." he continued and gave her a smile. "But you feel safer with a gun."
"Too right," she admitted. She joined him and stood very close to him. "I didn't lose that in my soul holiday. And those people of yours do have firearms. I've seen them use them. I just don't like the fact that the only person who will be in danger is you."
"Tegan," he said as the people drew nearer. Tegan could see the people from the village and several others she had never met in the throng. "Yes, well...it isn't acceptable for you to take on risk in this instance."
She groused. "Doc...I'm not letting you..."
"It's not a question of let or not let, Tegan. You're still recovering. You're still weak. Besides, as my lieutenant, I need you in a place to help keep the plan organized and moving."
"Bloody hell," Tegan muttered. "In other words, you're relegating me to the sidelines and putting yourself into danger. Again. At the expense..."
The Doctor turned to her and she could see anger in his eyes. "At the expense of knowing that you are safe. Do you hold me responsible for that, Tegan? You do it with me all the time. You try to make me safe. I want you safe."
"You need me."
She said it concisely and pointedly. He seemed almost startled by the force in her voice.
"I'm going with you," Tegan continued and kept his gaze trained with hers. "You never stay out of trouble; I need to go with you."
"Tegan..."
"Hell's teeth, Doc..." she said as she heard Devon coming up behind her. "They think like you. Hell, they are like you and Devon; they think just like you. You need the support and a...different...angle that they might not think of..."
"She has a point, Thete," Devon said quietly.
"Yes," the Doctor said tiredly as he rubbed his neck. "Thank you, Devon."
Tegan gave the old friend a smile. "And I do have the military training, Doc. You seem to have forgotten that point."
"Ah, well...Tegan, so do the Citadel Guard."
"And how is that different than our life lately?" She pressed. "I haven't done anything criminal here. We have that in our favor."
He grunted exaggeratedly. Devon turned to gather the rest of the village elders and the Doctor leaned down to stare into Tegan's eyes. "All right, Tegan. All right. But if there are any firefights or anything violent, I want you to get to safety. I won't lose you after just getting you back. Am I understood?"
She reacted to the sadness in his voice...
His voice whispering to her as the sun crested the horizon. His fingers entwined with hers, their palms together as she used the leverage. Slow and gentle, like the rising sun. "I treasure this..." said so quietly that she barely heard it. His eyes dark and blue and infinitely warm in the cold morning. His touch was infinitely gentle, his fingers curling into her hips to lead her in their primitive dance. And the joy on his face made her quake inside...
"Slow, Tegan..." he whispered. "Easy."
"Cripes, I'm not a child, but the point is understood," she said quietly and half hated herself for the perceived weakness. But if it allayed his new fear and allowed her to stay with him and get Peri. ...
She humorously wondered where her smart, sensible younger self who always looked for safety for everyone had gone. Probably on extended holiday, she thought.
The Doctor looked heavenward and nodded. She could see the easing in his facial expression and the thankful glint in his eyes. After waiting what seemed a lifetime to see emotions in the familiar countenance, she worried about their existence. She worried about him.
"We are ready, Theta," Devon called from the group of collected elders.
With a large, blinding smile, he twisted to look at his gathered group of villagers and ex-Time Lords. Tegan slowly retraced her steps down the hill, following behind her friend. Her arms were crossed over her chest. The pain was slowly receding from her body; she felt at ease in her mind once more. That situation allowed her to concentrate on the immediate action at hand.
The group was ragtag, she decided. Men stood, empty-handed and unarmed. Women gathered, some wore gowns that appeared threadbare and old. She looked at her own gown, bright orange and scarlet; she knew what the colors indicated. There were few that wore that combination in the group. So that meant that not many had gone to the Doctor's College. Their number was quite impressive for such short notice. But there were no weapons among them. No knives, no guns, no clubs, no...anything.
With a frown, Tegan crossed her arms over her chest.
The Doctor began to speak. His voice rang clear and loud and she knew it could be heard in every corner of the large crowd. She listened to the plan; her interest rose as she heard an intricate and well-planned strategy. As it had been when the Doctor was Supremo, she saw the powerful charisma and the natural leadership that drew people to him like flies and gave them their trust. She felt complete trust in what he was saying. But with his emotions, he became a leader in all ways. When he wanted to be persuasive, his belief in the righteous path became clear.
Devon seemed to materialize at her side. "He has seen military life, has he not?"
"Quite a lot of it," Tegan admitted. "Too much, if you ask me." She glanced around at the crowd. "I know why the Doctor and I are doing this, Devon; we have Peri to get and a TARDIS to find in order to leave...."
"But why are we doing this?"
Tegan shook her head. "I've tried to understand. I know the plan he is outlining has little or no combat in it, at least on our side... How we could plan for what the other side will do... But it does put you all in danger. I know the Doc thinks there might be danger..."
"Call it peaceful protest, my dear girl," Devon smiled. He nodded to the City. "There are reasons this society is polarized which go much deeper and go much longer than any such similar interaction on your Earth. Our numbers out here in the Wilds increased drastically several centuries ago after a similar occurrence here at the Capital City. Peaceful protest is what we do well. In the quiet, the truth can be heard loud and clear. We are looked upon as unenlightened, as dregs of society. But in showing that we can be cohesive," he counted the points off on his fingers as they continued. "Strong, willing to listen to the truth, and above all, civilized, allows those within the society to possibly question."
"And that's what you want?" Tegan asked tightly. "Why not simply broadcast this truth?"
"That was what was done the last time, my dear," he said quietly as his eyes trained back on the Doctor. She followed his gaze and watched her companion speaking clearly and concisely with an earnest expression on his face. "And it ended with horrendous outcomes which should have never occurred. No, no...we have to try this in a different manner."
Tegan bit her lip. "Hell's teeth... no weapons..." she whispered. "There was combat last time, wasn't there?"
Devon nodded. "I believe your people would call it a bloodbath."
At that moment, the Doctor finished speaking. In the silence that followed, the different elders and chiefs of the villages nodded in sequence. Apparently, this was a finally vote of some sort and it was unanimous.
Instead of looking encouraged by the outcome, the Doctor looked resigned.