Chapter 2: Mandy the Reaper

000

"Come on, Mandy, be reasonable," pleaded Grim.

The two of them were walking down one of the many suburban streets of Endsville. Grim's full skeletal form was exposed without his robe, which was being worn by Mandy. The robe trailed out several feet behind her, and the scythe in her hands was nearly three times as tall as she was, but she carried it all with ease.

"Forget it, Grim," Mandy said, not looking back at the skeleton, "It's not my fault the forces of the universe decided to give the job to someone more qualified."

"More qualified!" shouted Grim, "You'd better watch your tongue, child. I've been the Grim Reaper for ten thousand years, and I haven't missed a soul yet!

"Even him?" Mandy asked, pointing across the street to where Elvis stood, eating a sandwich.

"All right, that one may have slipped past me," Grim conceded.

"Look, Grim," said Mandy, "maybe you were a good enough Reaper back in the old days, but this is the new millenium, and it's time for someone new to take over."

Before Grim could respond, a car sped by at over 80 miles per hour and crashed down the street in a horrible blaze of fire.

"Now, if you'll excuse, I've got work to do," said Mandy, walking towards the car wreck, scythe-in-hand, "Oh, by the way Grim, you might want to get some new clothes. I can see your shinbone."

Screeching with embarrassment, Grim quickly covered his bony midriff with his hands.

000

Later, Mandy walked down the street, the scythe tucked into the crook of one of her arms, while her hands were busy marking off names on her list of souls to collect.

"Guy who ate too much bacon, check. Woman who thought wolverines would make good pets, check," Mandy said to herself, crossing out collected souls, "Guy who got the bad blowfish at a sushi restaurant, check."

As she was doing this, Mandy spotted something down the street that made her perpetual frown deepen ever further. It was Mindy, the school's most popular girl with a few of her friends.

"And did you see how Mandy's hair looked on Thursday? What a loser!" said Mindy to her hanger-on's, who, of course, laughed and agreed.

Mandy looked around to make sure no one was watching, then quickly scribbled the name "Mindy" onto her list. Just then, she was interrupted by an annoying and all too familiar noise.

"Hi, Mandy!" Billy hollered as he approached her, "Whatcha doin'?

"Same old, same old," Mandy muttered, polishing the blade of the scythe a little.

"Say," said Billy, a thought slowly arising in his head, "Why are you holding Grim's scythe? And why are you wearing his clothes, too?"

"Oh, the Lord of Life and Death made me the new Grim Reaper," Mandy replied nonchalantly. She then tried to walk past Billy and get on to reaping a certain girl's soul, but Billy was quick to jump in front of her.

"Wait a second," Billy said, "If you're the Grim Reaper now, what do we call Grim? Ooh! How about we call you Grim, and Grim can be called Mandy!"

"Call him whatever you want, chowder head. Now, if you'll excuse me . . ."

"Wow, it must be so cool to be the Grim Reaper," Billy continued, oblivious to Mandy's growing irritation, "I wish I was the Grim Reaper! Hey, let me try on the scythe!"

Billy grabbed the scythe and tried to pull it away, but, after a bit of a struggle, Mandy got it back. By then her anger had reached a boiling point.

"Listen, Billy," she shouted, "I have a very important job now; one involving lots of cosmic power for me to exploit. But I can't do that if you keep bothering me!"

"So, what are you trying to say?" asked a befuddled Billy.

"I'm saying that if you don't want to end up next on my list, you'll LEAVE ME ALONE!"

With that, Mandy tore open a portal with the scythe and shoved Billy through. After a moment spent hanging inside a swirling vortex, Billy came out the other end, falling onto his own couch. Grim was already there, dressed in a T-shirt and pair of shorts taken from Billy's dresser.

"Grim!" Billy whined, "Mandy was mean to me!"

"So?" he responded, "She's always mean."

"Yeah, but usually she still lets me hang out with her," Billy continued, "This time she just yelled at me and threw me through a portal! I think being the Grim Reaper has gone to her head."

"Don't get me started on that," Grim mumbled, "She thinks just because she got lucky reaping one soul that she can take everything away from me. Well, I can't take it anymore! I mean, look at me!" With that Grim jumped to his feet and pointed to the ill fitting clothes he had on. "This shirt is far too baggy, and these pants keep riding up into places they don't belong."

"Yeah, those clothes really do make you look like a doofus," Billy laughed, "Hey, wait-a-minute, those are my clothes!"

"I miss my robe," moaned Grim, "And I miss my scythe. I've got nothing to hold in my hands anymore. I tried the broom from the closet, but it's just not the same!"

"We've gotta find some way to make Mandy stop being the Grim Reaper," said Billy, "If we don't, I won't have anyone to play with, and you'll just be a loserly skeleton for all eternity."

"Don't think I wouldn't love to," sighed Grim, "But the only way to make me the Grim Reaper again is to ask the Lord of Life and Death, but his office is in another dimension. Without the scythe, I've got no way to get there."

"Ooh!" shouted Billy just before running upstairs and running back with a box in his hands, "We can use my magic set!"

"Billy, I don't think some children's toy is going to help."

"Just look," said Billy, holding up the box for the Grim to see. The box read:

000

MY FIRST MAGIC TRICK!

from Play Now Incorporated

Pull a rabbit out of a hat!

Make a coin disappear!

Open a portal to the office of the Lord of Life and Death

000

"Hmm, that's convenient," said Grim, "Okay, let's try it.

"All right," said Billy, opening the box and going through the instructions, "Let's see, first we need to mix the Fairy Dust and the Magic Powder together, then put it into this black top hat." Billy did just that. "OK, Grim, you've got to look away now; a magician is never supposed to reveal the secret to his trick."

"Oh, fine," Grim said, turning his back to Billy.

Billy looked at Grim carefully to make sure he wasn't peeking, then pulled a jar filled with MSG out of the magic box. He sprinkled some of it into the top hat, then put it away.

"Almost done," said Billy, "Now I point this wand at the hat and say the magic words: Hoofle, doofle, gilly feen, slam bam, thank you ma'am, ally-poop, diddle-goof, niddle-naddle doo!"

With those words a swirling vortex appeared inside the top hat. Billy and Grim stared at it for a moment before being sucked through it and landing in front of the Lord of Life and Death.