ROBIN and all related characters, names and indicia are TM & © DC Comics 2004. Story by Chuck Dixon, novella adaptation by Ice Spectre.
Rated PG
"TRIUMPH OVER TRAGEDY" - Putting Freeze On Ice
The cabby had been very relieved to learn that he only had to drive Mister Green Hair as far as Gotham, but his relief was quelled when he learned exactly what part Creepy wanted to be taken to. It was not the safest area, and he avoided it altogether when he could. But again he was reminded of how much he had been paid to do this job and do it right, so he pressed on. Besides, Ol' White Face could certainly take care of himself, and perhaps eliminate any threat at all in the process, guaranteeing the cabby safety.
Finally, they pulled up in front of the building where Clown Boy wanted to be let off. It was dark and silent.
"This is place?" the cabby was highly doubtful. "Look empty. You want wait?" He didn't exactly like the idea of driving out of here alone, and would appreciate someone who could protect him.
"I no want wait, you ignoramus!" the Joker hissed. "Hit the bricks!"
When the cabby heard the hostility in the Joker's voice, he was more than happy to do just that. Some gratitude. He was just trying to be helpful.
The Joker stared up at the front of the building that had been his hideout for years. It was an abandoned party supply warehouse (what better place for him?) with a picture of a clown on the outside. Might as well put up a big neon sign that said "Joker's Hideout". But it didn't matter. The Joker was so widely feared that even if he did put up that neon sign, he wouldn't be disturbed. Hm. A neon sign. Maybe he would put one up.
He opened the door to see dim lights and a fog of cigarette smoke, his accomplices around a table playing poker.
"Honey, I'm home!" he sang.
"Geez, it's da boss!"
"Holy--"
"How'd you get out?"
Wait. This was not the greeting he was expecting. Yes, his accomplices definitely seemed surprised to see him, but strangely, they were not happily surprised! Oh, come, come now!
"Believe it or not, the hardest part was finding a lawyer who wore the same suit size as moi!" If the Joker had begun to worry about his gang's obvious lack of enthusiasm for his return, he had already forgotten his worries in anticipation of his plans for them. "Oh, the plans I've planned! The schemes I've schemed for me and my gang!"
"Uh, Joker, ya see, the thing is..."
"That's great, Joker, but..."
An abysmal voice interrupted their stumblings as a figure entered the room in a swirl of mist and fog.
"What they are trying to say is that you are no longer boss around here."
The Joker whirled around to see who had addressed him so rudely. However, when he saw the frosty figure, he showed no anger or fear at all.
"And you are...?" the Joker was as polite as if introducing himself to a dauphin prince.
"Freeze is the name. Mister Freeze to you," the man encased in a thermally controlled suit answered as cold air misted around him and jets let off bursts off cool air which turned to mist upon contact with the outside world. His head was surrounded by thick glass, keeping every inch of his body at 32 degrees Fahrenheit. "The gang is mine now."
The Joker exploded into hysterical cackling. Everyone stared at him in terrified silence, except for Mr. Freeze, who glared icy contempt toward The Joker. But he remained in utter composure. Joker wiped tears from his eyes and tried to gain his breath.
"And...And...And wh-what did you get with this guy? Ha ha! A free ice maker? Ha ha ha ha!"
"Now hold on there," the frosty voice showed no evidence of emotion.
"You let this... popsicle, this second rate Captain Cold tell you what to do?" Joker reeled on his gang.
"Geez, Joker, we didn't think you was comin' back!"
"Well, I'm back!" he growled. Then his mood lightened again as he turned back to Mr. Freeze. "And I'm here to announce the end of the ice age! Freeze, Mr. Freeze!" Joker whipped out two water guns and sprayed the front of Freeze's glass hood. "Get it? Freeze? Haw haw haw haw haw haw!!!"
The water froze instantly around the glass and Mr. Freeze couldn't see. Then, Joker gripped his hand and hand-buzzered him. Freeze fell flat on his back with a fizzle of smoke rising from the center of his chest. Joker was sure he was dead.
"Remember, it's not the voltage that kills ya, it's the amps!" Joker held out his fried hand buzzer. It was smoking too.
"You iced him, Joker!" Bones, the largest mook, clapped his hands.
"Bones, if I told ya once, I told ya a million times," Joker gave a frightening grin, glaring sideways at his gang, "I make the jokes around here." But then, like a card in the deck, the mood passed, and it was light again. "Now! Let's get busy!
"I thought of some great activities for us locked away in my padded cell in the long evening hours after electro-shock therapy! I was given plenty of educational reading materials! We're going to bring this town to the brink of chaos!"
"The rest musta done ya some good," Bones observed. "You ain't mentioned the Batman once!"
"Really?" Joker blink-blinked and pressed his palms to his chest. His face began to twist with an evil idea. Not mentioned Batman, eh? He'd have to amend that.