Disclaimer: I don't own anything except for this INSANE story!
Spoilers: AU!!!
Summary: A wacky crossover between Dark Angel, Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Harry Potter, X-men Evolution, and The Lord of the Rings. It's funny. Just read it.
A/N: I'm warning you that this is a very un-intelligent fic. I wrote this a few years back, and it's very immature and – insane. But when I read it again, I just couldn't stop laughing. Yes, and I want to tell uh, my dear COUSIN that I included her very INTELLIGENT joke near the end...you know, the one about fishes? Bwahahahahaha!!!
READ ON!!!
THE WORLD OF CRAZY CROSSOVERS
Sunnydale, California
The Skywalk
8:14 A.M
Alec lifted up the last of the boxes from the trunk of the cab and dropped it onto the stone pavement where it landed with a thud. Max appeared from the entrance of the apartment, they were moving into with a big smile on her face. "This place is great!" she exclaimed.
"You've said that already," Alec muttered to himself. "Or has your brain suddenly gone out?"
"I heard that!" Max yelled from the front porch as Alec paid the cab driver who sped off without a backward glance.
"You're a transgenic, why wouldn't you hear it?" Alec said rolling his eyes as he slung his duffel bag over his shoulder. Max jogged over to him and grabbed her own bag from the sidewalk were she left it the minute she saw the apartment. It was called the Skywalk and it fits it's name too. It was about thirty stories high, a little tall for an apartment. Plus it a thousand times more comfortable then their old one in Seattle.
It was getting dark the moment they had gotten settled. "So how about ordering pizza?" Alec suggested.
"Is pizza all you ever think about?" Max retorted.
"Not really, sometimes I think about girls,...and sex."
"That's so degrading."
"I can't help it, I'm a guy."
"Concludes the fact of why I'm happy being a girl."
"I'm just as happy, guys can't live without girls you know."
"Eeew, that's so sick!"
"Oh come on, you know you want me!"
"How about we go out tonight? Eat dinner somewhere?"
"Aha! That proves that you love me! Maxie is asking me out!"
"No I meant- oh forget it! Can we just go now?"
"Whatever you say Maxie,"
Max rolled her eyes and stood up from the couch and shrugged on her black leather jacket. Alec who was still grinning got up and followed her out the door. They climbed up on Max's ninja and sped through the now dim streets of Sunnydale. Max swerved sharply to the right as they neared a corner making Alec almost fall out of his seat.
"Slow down will you," Alec said grabbing onto Max's waist just in time.
Max smirked. "Is it my fault that you're not used to fast bikes?"
"Or maybe you just want me to hold on tight."
"In your dreams Alec,"
"What do you know about my dreams Maxie?" Alec asked a mischievous grin spreading across his face.
Max wrinkled her nose in disgust. "I don't even want to know."
"Where exactly are we going anyway?" Alec asked glancing around. There were only a pretty few cars left. He glanced at his digital watch where the glowing numbers 10:00 PM blinked at him.
"A nightclub called the Bronze." Max replied. "The taxi driver told me about it. He says it's a pretty cool place."
They arrived a few minutes later at the so-called Bronze. Max deadened her engines as they stopped in front of the nightclub. A blinking neon sign hung above them with the gold letters: Bronze. "This is it?"
"Obviously, come on. I really need a drink."
The two of them walked into the crowded club where they were lucky enough to grab a few seats at the bar counter. The place was filled with people. Either dancing, drinking or both. Alec ordered their drinks and as they waited he looked around the club for any eye-catchers. His eyes landed on an attractive blonde who was laughing along with a red-head.
Max nudged him in the ribs making him look away from the girl's pretty face. "What?" he asked looking back at Max feeling slightly irritated but it vanished quickly. Who could be hotter than Max?
"Our drinks are here," she said in a matter-of-fact tone. "We've only been here for five minutes and you're already looking for someone to screw."
Alec grinned as he took the beer from Max and sipped on it. "Are you jealous Maxie?" he teased.
"Oh yeah, I'm like way jealous." She said sarcastically.
After a few more drinks they decided to leave. Before they left however Alec stole a quick look around for the blonde he had been eyeing earlier. His transgenic vision scanned the club swiftly. Realizing that she was gone he exited the club hurriedly realizing that Max had already gone out.
He stepped through the door to be greeted by the cool night air. He glanced around to look for Max. Her ninja was still there, so she couldn't have possibly left without him.
"Max?" he called out. "I'm ready to go!"
He was answered by nothing but silence. Rolling his eyes he looked around for any sign of her. If Max was an ordinary he would have been panicking by now but then she wasn't exactly normal and he knew that she could take on twenty armed men if she had to so he wasn't exactly scared if she was in trouble.
A shout of anger sounded in the alley across the street. Alec grinned. That was definitely Max. He ran across the street and into the alley where he saw Max glaring at three unconscious figures on the ground. Alec gaped at the figures. They weren't just figures, they looked like monsters, scratch that they looked like vampires. They had fangs and everything.
"What the hell are those?" Alec asked. Max seemed to be just as astonished as he was.
"More or less, who the hell are you?" a new voice came behind them. Alec turned around to be greeted with an even bigger surprise. The blonde he had been watching earlier was standing with a wooden something in her hand looking extremely curious. Beside her stood the red-head she was with in the club.
Buffy and Willow left the Bronze a little before eleven to start patrolling. She had insisted that Willow go home but her best friend said she wanted to help. So here they were stalking the dark alleys of Sunnydale. She had just staked a few vampires in the abandoned building a few blocks away from the Bronze and now she was standing right across the nightclub staring in bewilderment at a really, really gorgeous guy and girl who had knocked down three vampires. No ordinary human could've been able to do that and Buffy was more than interested to know what these two strangers were.
"Wait, before we answer that question I want to know what those things are." The brunette demanded.
"Those are vampires," Buffy replied impatiently. "Again who are you?"
"Why would you want to know?" the brunette shot back suspiciously.
"Because I'm a vampire slayer and I want to know how a normal person like you could be able to go through three vampires." Buffy said in an obvious tone.
"Those things exist?" The guy asked incredulously.
"Unfortunately yes," Buffy said with a sigh.
"Should we tell them?" The brunette asked the guy.
"Sure why not? She's a vampire slayer."
"How do we know she's not lying?"
Buffy sighed again. "Because I can do this." And Buffy walked over to the three lifeless bodies of the vampires and plunged a stake in the middle of their chests. They quickly disappeared into a pile of ashes.
"Now do you believe me?" Buffy asked exasperatedly.
"I guess," the girl said still looking doubtful. "You tell her Alec,"
Alec smiled at Buffy. "Wait, Buffy why don't we talk this over at your house?" Willow suggested as she shivered slightly from the cold. Buffy nodded and smiled back tentatively at the two strangers.
Summer's home
11:33 A.M
It was almost two weeks since Buffy met Max and Alec. The both of them had an even more miserable and terrible past then she did which made her appreciate her life more. Both of them didn't even have a chance to meet their mother and here she was crying her eyes out and thinking how unfair life was including the fact that both of them were forced to kill at the age of only seven. She shook her head in disbelief how cruel the world can be to some unfortunate people. At least she was lucky enough to kill bads, not to kill goods. The two of them had been recently helping her out on patrols with the rest of the Scoobies and she was more than grateful.
The sound of excited chattering in the hallway snapped her out of her thoughts. She tilted her head to the left to see what all the fuss was about. It was only about eight in the morning for crying out loud. And it was a Saturday! Who would make such a commotion so early?
One way to find out. Buffy stood up from the couch where she was lounging lazily and stretched. Slipping on her boots she headed towards the hall where she saw Willow opening the door with Dawn behind her. "Wills? What's all the excitement about?" Buffy asked curiously.
Her mouth dropped open when she saw who standing outside her porch. "Draco?"
"Hello Buffy," Draco smirked. He was the one who helped Willow out in controlling her magic and he had recently visited Sunnydale a few months before. And he and Buffy didn't really get along all that well. Let's just say they have a...love-hate relationship.
"What in fucking hell are you doing here?" Buffy asked.
"Watch the language slayer, you don't want Dawnie to hear those." Draco said with a grin to the younger Summers.
"Answer my question ferret boy!"
"I came to visit you," Draco said with a mischievous smile.
"Very funny." Buffy said.
"Yeah I know, I'm such a comedian." Draco said rolling his eyes.
"Two Spikes is more than I can handle." Buffy said throwing her hands in the air in frustration.
"Though you have to admit, I'm way better than he is." a new voice spoke behind her. Buffy spun around to be faced with the Spike. He had his black cloth slung over the shoulder and judging from the open kitchen door, that's where he came from.
"At least my hair's not bleached!" Draco retorted to his older look alike.
"At least I was only turned into a vampire and not into a bouncing fluffy ferret!" Spike sneered. That shut Draco up real quick.
"Hey, why don't we meet at the Bronze tonight? All of us? We've got two new friends that we'd love you to meet." Willow said to Draco.
"I trust that these new friends are really beautiful?" Draco asked with a smirk.
"Oh they're beautiful alright," Buffy said thinking about the two transgenics. "In fact, they're practically perfect."
Meanwhile at the Skywalk Alec and Max were having a few surprises of their own...
"Get that will you?" Alec yelled from the couch. "Passion's just returned from commercials!"
"I can't believe you're watching porn movies," Max said in a revolted tone as she jogged over to get the door.
"Hey! Spike watches them too!" Alec protested. "And anyway it's a guy thing."
"Well duh of course it's a guy thing!" Max said. "I don't think girls watch that kind of thing."
"Anya does,"
Max just rolled her eyes and opened the front door. A mailman stood outside and handed her a small package. She signed on the clipboard and shut the door. She stared at the package. The name Alec McDowell was scrawled out in front.
"Hey asshole it's for you," Max said tossing the package to Alec who caught it easily. She watched interestedly as Alec tore off the brown wrapping paper to reveal a shiny silver key.
"Alright!" Alec crowed. "I finally got it!"
"What's that for?" Max asked curiously.
"Keys to my new Ferrari!"
Max gasped.
"Ferrari?" Max asked. "Wait...you didn't just steal one did you?"
"Of course not. I'm over the whole stealing thing and even if I did steal it, you have no right to blame me. I mean you started stealing before me."
"Yeah whatever, so where'd you get it?"
"I forgot to tell you that I joined this raffle draw. The first prize was one million dollars and the second prize was this." Alec told her. "I got a letter yesterday telling me that I won and that I can pick it up today at the X-Tracks."
The Bronze
10:04 P.M
Alec ordered his twelfth beer as he downed his last one. "Damn, how can you drink so much without getting drunk?" Xander asked looking impressed.
"DNA," Alec replied plainly.
"And you?" Xander turned to Draco who seemed to be drinking as much as Alec.
"Been drinking since I was thirteen," Draco answered as if it happened to most teenagers.
Xander's jaw dropped. Spike sneered from beside him. "Fashion tip whelp, mouths look better closed." That earned an irritated glare from Xander.
"Actually mouths look better open. It gives you a chance to kiss him, with the tongue and everything." Anya piped up. Everybody groaned at that comment and Xander was turning beet red. However Alec and Draco seemed to think it was funny as they were struggling to keep from laughing.
"What is it with guys and the talk about sex?" Max asked sipping her beer.
"Like I said, it's a guy thing." Alec said with a smirk.
"Cheers," Draco said raising his glass to Alec. "Hey, check out miss gorgeous over there." Draco muttered mostly to himself as he stared at a beautiful girl with dirty blonde locks. She was alone. Alec followed his gaze and both of them exchanged a look.
"I saw her," Draco said standing up quickly.
"Not before I get there first," Alec answered back and the two rushed over to the blonde.
"Riiiight, a guy thing." Buffy said rolling her eyes.
Xander made a harrumphing sound and Buffy looked at him. "Not all guys are like that,"
"Oh come on, it's only because you're committed to Anya while Spike is committed to Buffy." Willow said in a casual tone. Buffy glowered at her best friend as Spike started to become very interested in his beer bottle.
Later that night...
"We gotta head home guys, I'm beat." Xander said with a wave as he grabbed Anya's hand.
"Yeah, were going to go to bed and have tons of orgasms." Anya chimed in. This time Draco and Alec didn't bother to stifle their laughter.
"So what happened to that girl you two were chasing?" Max asked.
Draco and Alec glanced at each other. "Uh, she wasn't, she wasn't exactly my type." Draco mumbled.
"Really?" Max arched an eyebrow.
"Yeah," Alec sighed. "She wasn't straight. Too bad OC isn't here."
"Yeah well, goodnight everyone!"
The X-Tracks
9:58 A.M
"Hey do any of you know where the car shop X-Tracks is located?" Alec asked to the Scoobies as they sat around a table in the Magic Box.
"Uh huh. Its somewhere near the mall," Xander said. "Why do you ask? That place is mostly selling top of the line cars."
Alec grinned. "That's because, I won a car... and it's a Ferrari."
"No shit?" Buffy exclaimed.
"No shit,"
"Oh my god, that is like the coolest car there ever is. You have to let me ride in it." Dawn said her eyes as wide as saucers.
"No problem, I could bring you to school in it."
"Ultrafantastic!" Dawn screamed.
Xander stared at her "Ultra-what?"
"I'll bring you there, since whelp here is too busy enriching his vocabulary." Draco said.
"Did you just say whelp?" Xander said glaring at the blonde.
"Yes I did whelp," Draco answered with a sneer.
"I can't believe it, you're starting to sound like Spike." Xander complained.
"Hey can we go now?" Alec asked.
"We go now," Draco replied and led the way out with the two transgenics following out.
They arrived a few minutes later and as Alec showed his letter to the manager, Max and Draco took a look around. Draco stopped beside a black Jaguar. "Now this is bloody brilliant," Draco said, mostly to himself as he circled the car like a tiger watching its prey.
"Buy it then," Max said nonchantly. "You're bloody loaded anyway." Max said trying out one of Draco's British swear words.
Draco chuckled. "Doesn't match pet, American swear words are more your style."
Max swatted him playfully in the arm, but playfully translated in transgenic fashion means it really hurt. Draco winced as Alec arrived with a huge grin.
"Follow me," he said. They entered a room in the back where a blood red Ferrari stood waiting to be driven and taken by the oh-so rightful owner.
"I envy you," Draco said.
"Who wouldn't?" Alec said and grinned again as he opened the car door. He sat in and slipped the keys into the ignition. The engine rumbled to life.
"You owe me for all the rides I've given you in my ninja," Max said and jumped in beside him.
"And you owe me for...nothing really" Draco said and shrugged, climbing into the back seat. The garage door behind them opened automatically and they drove out towards the Magic Box.
Sunnydale High
7:46 A.M
Alec waved good-bye to Dawn as she hopped off her seat in his Ferrari. She beamed at him and entered her building grinning at the jealous looks her schoolmates were giving her. What made her especially happy was the looks the Sweater Mafia were shooting her. Her best friend Karla rushed up to her, her curly blonde hair bouncing up and down as she ran.
"Who was that incredibly hot guy who brought you in that incredibly hot car?" Karla demanded.
Dawn's grin widened. "That was Alec, he's a friend of Buffy's. And he offered to drive me to school."
"Wow," Karla breathed, apparently taken at Dawn's golden opportunity. The two friends went into their Biology classroom and sat near the back.
The bell rung an hour and a half later shaking Dawn out from the near slumber she was dropping into. She waved to Karla as they went their separate ways for their next class. Dawn opened her locker and dumped in her Science books and taking out her notebook for Social Studies. Before she could close her locker door someone tapped her on the shoulder.
Dawn spun around to be faced with her long-time crush! Kevin Gordon. Dawn rubbed her now sweaty palms on the surface of her jeans and plastering, what she hoped was a friendly smile on her face. "Oh hey Kevin, what's up?" she greeted, trying to sound casual. As if she talked to guys all the time. (Guys her age that is. Spike was like a thousand years old! And Draco and Alec did not count, even though she had decided how immensely cute they were.)
He smiled at her, almost making her melt. Figuratively speaking of course. "I was just wondering, if you uh, you uh don't have anything to do this Saturday, that you might go out with me?" he asked looking nervous.
She couldn't believe she could actually make someone nervous, especially someone so cute! "Sure! That would be great!" Dawn replied with a smile.
Kevin looked relieved. "Cool! I'll pick you up at around seven. We could go watch a movie or something."
"Okay, well bye!"
Summer's home
7:15 P.M
Everyone was at the Summer's home eating dinner (Except for Alec and Max, saying that they will be arriving a few minutes later) while Dawn was busy upstairs preparing for her date. "I'll get it!" Buffy said as the doorbell rang. Excusing herself from the dinner table and standing up to answer the door.
"Oooh, that's probably Dawn's date!" Buffy heard Willow say and giggle as she left the dining room. She opened the door and saw a fifteen year old boy shifting from one foot to another, apparently nervous.
"Hello," Buffy said trying to keep her voice pleasant as she took in the boy's appearance. She couldn't take any chances, the boy might be a vampire for heaven's sake. That had already happened before which had resulted to very ugly consequences.
"Um, hey. You must be Dawn's sister." The boy said with a smile. "I'm Kevin."
Buffy took his hand and shook it. "Why don't you come in for a second. Dawn'll be here in a few minutes." Kevin nodded and walked inside their house. He took a seat on the sofa and waited patiently for Dawn.
"Dawn! Your DATES' here!" she yelled.
"Coming!" came the reply as the doorbell rang once again.
Buffy opened the door again. This time it was Max and only Max. "Hey Max, where's Alec?"
Max rolled her eyes. "He's too busy polishing car. I wasted a whole half hour trying to convince him to come but he says his car is more important. Can you believe that?"
Buffy laughed. Max hung up her jacket and walked in. "Who's the guy?" Max asked in an undertone to Buffy.
This time it was Buffy's turn to roll her eyes. "Dawn's date."
Max gave the guy a once over. "Not bad." She said shrugging. Buffy threw her hands up in the air in exasperation. "Your supposed to say, 'isn't she a little too young to go on dates?' "
Max laughed. "I think Dawn's old enough to go on dates, but maybe not old enough to—you know." Max said sheepishly at Buffy's disgusted look.
"Tell that to Anya,"
Dawn then came climbing down the stairs. Buffy had to admit her sister looked pretty. She wore a floral skirt and a white blouse. Her dark brown hair flowed in waves behind her back. Kevin stood up. Max tugged at Buffy's shirt giving her a look that said: Let's-go-they-need-their-privacy.
Buffy nodded and hesitantly went back into the dining room, but she had just enough time to glimpse Dawn's date giving her a kiss on the cheek.
The Magic Box
10:44 A.M
Buffy flipped through the pages of an antique book she had found in one of the dusty bookshelves in the basement. They were researching on the Davila demon. It had recently attacked Buffy last night when she was out on patrols.
"Davila Demon right?" Max asked. Buffy nodded her reply. The two transgenics had been generous enough to help them with all the research. Well, maybe Max helped them while Alec watched Anya in amusement as she tried to sell their merchandise.
"Good morning! How can I help you buy more things and give us more money?" the ex-demon asked to a customer. The old man didn't seem to mind Anya's weird behavior though and bought a couple of scented candles used in spell making.
"Thank you for shopping at the Magic Box! Come again to buy more stuff!" Anya yelled to the fleeing customer. Giles stared at Anya in disbelief. "Anya, I think you need a little more practice in dealing with customers." Giles said patting her on the shoulder.
Alec shook his head and laughed just as Dawn entered the shop. "Hey Dawn! How was your date last night?" Alec asked mischievously. "Manage to snatch any kisses?"
Dawn blushed which told Buffy more than she needed to know. "Yeah it was fun." Dawn said with a dreamy smile.
"Maybe when you get older you can have sex with him." Anya piped up. Dawn's face grew redder than a tomato as Alec burst out laughing once again. Max smacked him in the head.
"Hey! It was Anya who said it not me!" Alec complained.
"But you started it." Max said simply and returned to her reading.
"Where's the two blondes?" Dawn asked noticing the absence of Draco and Spike.
"I don't know and I obviously don't care!" Xander stated crossing his arms over his chest.
"Watching Passions, no doubt." Buffy answered rolling her eyes,
"Same place I should be," Alec said with a sigh. That earned him another smack in the head.
Summer's Home
2:52 P.M
A shriek erupted from Dawn's room causing Buffy to spill root beer all over the kitchen floor and making her rush up in panic to her little sister's bedroom. Buffy slammed the door open and ran in her head turning from left to right expecting to see a crazed axe murderer but all she saw was Dawn sitting in front of her computer and grinning like an idiot.
Buffy sighed in exasperation. "Please don't tell me that you screamed for something good not bad."
"Actually...yeah I just received some good news."
"Great! Now I have to mop the floor again!"
"Huh?"
"With you screaming like it's the end of the world I totally ruined the kitchen floor with my root beer!"
"Oops! Sorry! But my news might cheer you up!"
"I hope it will," Buffy said rolling her eyes and walking over to the computer table where Dawn was busily reading an e-mail which indeed made Buffy forget all about the little spillage in the kitchen. This is what the e-mail said:
Hey Buffy! Dawn!,
Its been a long time since I made contact with you guys. In fact as I last counted it was exactly two years. I hope the two of you are having fun there, fighting vampires and all. Well anyway, since its Spring Break and I obviously don't have class...I was hoping that maybe the two of you (you can bring a few of your friends) could come visit me here in New York. Even for just a week or hopefully more. I already asked permission from the Professor and he said that the both of you are very welcome to stay in the Institute.
Your cousin,
Scott
P.S. Please send a reply as soon as possible! I'm looking forward to it!
Buffy's eyes widened and she grinned. "We are so..." Dawn smiled eagerly at her. "...Not going" Buffy finished her grin faltering into a disappointed frown.
Dawn stared at her wide-eyed. "Why not?" she demanded.
"Who'll take care of Sunnydale without me? The slayer?"
"Uhm, the Scooby Gang?"
"I am part of the Scooby Gang."
"Well, then the other members of the Scooby Gang!"
"I don't think so Dawn, its too risky."
"Well, would you even consider asking them first?" Dawn asked hopefully.
"Okay." Buffy said sighing in defeat.
They went over to the Magic Box to find Alec, Max, Willow, Anya, Xander, and Giles all there. "Hey guys!" Buffy greeted the group, shooting Dawn a look that clearly said: 'let me handle this'.
"Hey Buffster," Xander said.
"Hey Buffy," Max said, Alec soon echoing it. Willow and Giles simply smiled at her while Anya managed a small nod at her before turning back to her 'money-givers'.
"What's up?" Buffy asked plunking down onto a seat beside Willow. Dawn sat down beside her, shooting her hopeful glances.
"Not much," Alec said with a slight grimace. "I'm actually getting bored, no offense or anything, but Max and I really need a break." Max nodded her agreement. "We were actually talking about a vacation, but to where yet, we don't know."
Dawn's face lit up at these words and was about to open her mouth to say something if Buffy didn't glare at her. Little Summers shut up real quick.
"Hellmouth had never been so slow," Willow said with a sigh. "I'm actually looking forward to going back to school next week."
Dawn and Buffy exchanged a glance. Obviously, they had forgotten that Willow had classes, that meant she couldn't come with them, that is, if they were going.
"Well, I for one, am one happy camper!" Xander said with a grin. "I'm getting a pay raise day after tomorrow!"
"Wow! That's great Xander! Congratulations!" Buffy exclaimed, she was happy for him,...really.
"So, what about you guys? Any news?" Max asked, sipping her beer.
"Uhm, well, my cousin wrote to me actually." Buffy mumbled.
"This doesn't happen to be your mutant cousin?" Giles asked from behind the counter, where he was busily teaching Anya how to keep money safely.
"You mean Scott?" Buffy asked. "If you mean him, then your right."
"Excuse me? But did you just say mutant?" Alec asked. "Think their from Manticore?"
"As far as I'm concerned, no." Buffy answered. "It's already in their genes, and their born from real mothers."
"Oh."
"So what'd Red Shades say?" Xander asked curiously.
"He invited us and you guys to New York for Spring Break!" Dawn blurted out excitedly. Buffy sighed before nodding her confirmation.
"Does that include us too?" Max asked.
"OF course!" Dawn said, she was practically bouncing on her seat like a ferret.
Max and Alec exchanged grins and said in unison. "Were in!"
"Whose in?" A new voice came from behind them. Buffy spun around and saw Draco walking towards them, a pair of mirrored sunglasses resting on top of his blonde head.
"Were heading off to the famous, ever so polluted NYC." Alec drawled.
"Oh really?" Draco asked cocking an eyebrow.
"Really," Buffy said with a small smile. "You can come too if you want."
"Thank you so much for the invitation." Draco said. "But I have better things to do."
"This doesn't involve porn and Spike does it?" Xander asked.
Draco frowned. "Of course not. It's just that I have some things I have to take care of first. Maybe, I'll be able to drop in there at the infamous New York. But when? I cannot be sure. So if were all done here. I'm off." Draco flashed them all another grin and sauntered out of the Magic Box.
"You know what? That guy annoys me more than Spike does." Xander said rolling his eyes.
"Well at least we know that Spike's not gay." Alec said wiggling his eyebrows at Buffy who blushed, earning curious looks from everyone in the room. Buffy covered it up with a glare at Alec's direction, which only earned her a laugh from Max. Damned transgenics.
"So anyway, back to the topic." Dawn interrupted excitedly. "Who else wants to come?"
"Sorry Buff, but I can't." Willow said with a half-smile. "Classes and all."
"Me neither," Xander said with a slight shake of his head. "Pay raise and all. Can't afford to be absent. I might get fired."
"Magic Box won't be the same without me!" Anya piped up from behind the cash register.
"Same here," Giles said shooting Buffy a sympathetic look.
"Aren't you going to ask Spike?" Alec asked winking at Buffy.
"NO." Buffy stated, scowling at the male X5. "Anyway, are you sure its okay with you guys if the four of us went? I mean, the Hellmouth and all..." she trailed off.
"The Hellmouth is getting slower than Giles is," Willow said. "Don't worry. Go have fun." She flashed the slayer an encouraging smile.
"Thank you so much." Dawn squealed and jumped up, and started dancing around. "Were going to New York! Were going to New York! Were going to New York!" She chanted.
Buffy had to smile.
New York
"Buffy!" a voice called out from behind them. Alec turned around to see a guy in red shades, with a girl with red hair calling the slayer over.
"Scott!" Buffy squealed in delight. "Its been so long!" she yelled rushing over to him and giving him a big hug. It wasn't long till Dawn joined their little 'embrace.'
"Scott, these are my new friends Alec, and Max." Buffy introduced. Alec shook his hand and drew out a cocky smile at the girl beside him who blushed.
"This is my girlfriend, Jean." Scott introduced, smiling warmly at the red-head.
"She reminds me of Willow," Max said staring at her bright hair. "Only—straight."
"Excuse me?" Jean asked.
"I said, you remind me of Willow, a friend back at Sunnydale." Max said faking a smile. She didn't like the girl all that much. She was too damn prissy. Alec could only smirk.
"So why don't we head off to the Institute? The professor would love to meet you!" Scott said. And Alec didn't like him. He was too damn—bubbly. Like a girl. Alec almost thought he wasn't straight until he introduced his girlfriend.
"Nice ride," Alec commented as they boarded Scott's Porsche. "But not as nice as my Ferrari." Alec muttered to Max who grinned.
"I thought Porsches were for girls," Max said frowning. "You don't think that Scott's a fag do you?"
"That's exactly what I think." Alec said rolling his eyes as they sped through tall buildings and noisy streets.
"Well you know what they say Alec, bright minds think alike." Max said and leaned back against the seat, enjoying the ride.
"So what's your power?" Alec drawled inquiringly at Scott.
"Optic blasts," came Scott's reply.
"Oh, no wonder your wearing those shades." Max said. "How 'bout you Jean?"
"I'm a telekinetic." Jean said with her usual annoying smile.
"Nice," Alec said with a mischievous grin at Max. "Try reading my mind."
"Okay," Jean said nodding and placing two fingers to her forehead. After a few seconds, she blushed a deep red.
"What's Alec thinking?" Buffy asked curiously. The rest of the passengers in the car were wearing the same expression save Alec and Jean. But at Jean's deep blush, Buffy thought better of it. "On second thought, I don't wanna hear it."
"That's just nasty," Max said as Alec gave her an appreciative once-over. Max wrinkled her nose in disgust and smacked Alec hard in the head.
"I think I've got a headache coming." Buffy said rubbing her temples.
"Me too," Alec said imitating Buffy. "But then, if Maxie here would stop HITTING me...!"
"Oh shut up," Max said rolling her eyes.
"I never shut up," Alec said proudly.
"Riiiight," Max drawled.
"Hey look! Is that the institute?!" Dawn asked pointing at a distance.
Scott smiled. "Yeah. That's it."
"Cool," Dawn said beaming. "That thing's like a palace!"
"Okay people, were here!" Jean said hopping out of the car.
"Like we haven't figured that out yet," Max muttered under her breath and climbed out of the car, followed closely by Alec.
The mutants led them through a long carpeted hallway and into a library. A bald man who was seated on a wheelchair was obviously waiting for them. He smiled at them.
"Welcome, to Xavier's Institute for the Gifted. My name is Professor Charles Xavier." He greeted them and motioned for them to sit down. They obliged gratefully.
"We are quite honored to be housing the slayer and two of the finest transgenics ever built." He said with another knowing smile.
Alec and Max exchanged a look. "How'd you know that?" they asked in a chorus.
"The professor is the strongest TK there is." Jean said proudly.
"Oh."
"Jean, will you show them to their rooms?" The professor asked kindly.
"Sure!" Jean said. "Follow me."
They did as told, passing through hallways and soon boarding an elevator. They reached the third floor, and they were each given their own rooms. Except for Buffy and Dawn who shared a particularly large one.
"Dinner's at 7." Jean said with a smile before heading off to her room. "For now, feel free to tour the mansion."
They nodded their confirmation.
"Hey Jean!" Alec called out to her. The red head spun around, raising her eyebrows. "Do you have a pool here?"
"Of course! Its in the backyard! You guys can go for a swim if you want. Scott's there I think."
Pool Area
Kitty swum around Bobby and Amara just before Tabitha could jump in and splash water in her face. The blonde broke off laughing when a wave of water hit Scott. He scowled and let out a string of 'you should not do that's'. But it later disappeared, to be replaced by a smile. He started to wave at someone behind her.
Jean no doubt. Kitty rolled her eyes and turned around. To have her eyes widen. It wasn't Jean. Just the most gorgeous guy that probably ever lived! And like, the most gorgeous girl that could've probably been a supermodel!
"Hey, who're the hotties?" Tabby asked swimming towards her.
"No idea, think it's the slayer?"
"Nope. We talked earlier." Amara said shaking her head. "Must be the transgenics the professor told us."
Kitty shrugged as they watched the two of them smile half-heartedly at Scott and dive in the pool.
The girl smiled at them and headed towards their small little party. The guy did the same flashing a charming smile at them that made Kitty practically melt.
"Hey, I'm Max and this is the ever so annoying Alec," the girl introduced rolling her eyes towards Alec who merely grinned.
"Hey. I'm Kitty, this is Tabby, Bobby and Amara. I guess you probably met Scott."
"Unfortunately, yeah." Alec said rolling his eyes. Before any of them could continue their conversation, a scream erupted from the living room of the mansion. It was recognized as the unmistakable 'DAWN SCREAM'. Something, that both transgenics had gotten accustomed to in their stay at Sunnydale.
"That's Dawn," Max said, and with inhuman speed, she and Alec were practically out of the pool in a split second. The mutants just glanced at each other, their faces showing equal awe. After getting over their shock, they got out of the pool as quickly as they could and rushed into the living room.
Buffy stared in bewilderment at the two strangers standing in the middle of the living room. Dawn stood next to her, Buffy's hand clamped over her mouth.
The first guy who appeared out of nowhere had hair the color of Draco's. The only difference was that it grew way down his back. He was clutching a bow and arrow, a particularly fine bow and arrow. And what made him so unique was his ears. It was pointy. Almost like an elf. The other guy was more human looking, although a little on the messy side.
"Who the hell are you two?" Buffy asked, just as Max and Alec burst through the glass sliding doors. They both shared a confused look before taking their place beside the slayer. The other mutants soon filed in and took refuge on the couch, all of them dripping wet from the pool.
"My name is Legolas Greenleaf the elf, and this is Aragorn the man." The elf said with a pleasant smile. "Our wizard friend Gandalf cast the wrong spell and somehow sent us here. May we ask your names?"
"Uhm sure." Buffy said rather uncertainly. "I'm Buffy, and this is my sister Dawn. That's Alec, Max, Kitty, Scott, Tabby, Amara, and Bobby." And in a much more lower voice she hissed at Dawn: "Aragorn the man?"
"May we ask what year it is?" Aragorn asked looking around the room in interest.
"2001." Came Buffy's prompt answer.
"Queer," Legolas said, his fair eyebrows knitting together in deep concentration. "Were from the past then."
"Obviously," Kitty said eyeing their clothes with distaste. "You guys need like, a total makeover."
"Makeover?" Aragorn echoed in confusion just as the professor walked, ahem, wheeled into the room.
"Ah," was all he said and glanced at Scott for answers.
"These two are from the past. He's an elf, and he's a erm, man." Scott replied dutifully.
"Will the two of you like to stay here, while we figure this out?" Xavier asked kindly.
"That would be splendid!" Legolas exclaimed. "Now, what is this makeover?"
"We'll do it!" Kitty, Amara, and Tabitha said in unison.
"Good, good! Carry on now! Kitty, give them their er, makeover and show them to their rooms." Xavier ordered and ushered Scott and called out to the rest of the superior mutants to his office.
Buffy, Dawn, Alec, and Max however tailed along the three young mutants and the two new guests.
"This is fascinating!" Alec said.
"Did you just say fascinating?" Max asked in amusement.
"Yeah, is there a problem with that?" Alec asked defensively.
"Well, its just so, so British." Max said incredulously.
"I can speak several languages Maxie," Alec stated in a matter-of-fact tone. "Unlike you, I had ten years in Manticore."
"Thank you so much for reminding me that," Max said rolling her eyes at the thought of the prison hellhole.
Alec grinned cockily at her. "Oh come on Maxie! You know you loved it when we were paired up as breeding partners back then!"
Buffy's jaw dropped. "You two were breeding partners?"
Alec's grin grew wider and he slung an arm around Max's shoulder. "Strangely, yeah. Twice, wasn't it Maxie?"
"Twice?" Buffy echoed faintly.
Max sighed and slugged Alec hard on the shoulder, making him wince in pain. "I really should've named you dick."
Before Alec could make another smart-assed retort, a cloud of smoke puffed in front of them.
"Kurt?" Kitty asked glancing around at the puff of smoke. But alas, it wasn't Kurt. It was Draco.
"What the hell are you doing here?" Buffy demanded.
"Whoa! Are you like, a teleporter too?" Kitty asked excitedly, while the two guests from the past watched in bewilderment.
Draco looked strangely at Kitty. "No. I'm a wizard."
"A wizard?" Legolas asked. "This is just swell!"
"He looks like Speedy you know that," Tabby whispered to Amara who nodded agreeingly.
"Yeah, but I think this guy's a hell lot more nicer," Amara whispered back. Buffy heard however, and she snorted.
"Nice? Draco's anything but nice."
"You know Buffy, you're insults are getting so tedious." Draco said exaggerating a large yawn.
"And seeing you're lungs is so disgusting," Buffy shot back.
Draco glared at her. "ANYHOW, I'm starving. Do you have any food here, pet?" he asked Amara.
"Tons," Amara said with a grin. "I'm kinda hungry too. Maybe we should do the makeover later."
"Good idea," Tabby agreed. "On to the kitchen, troops!"
"Hey! Aren't we the ones who're supposed to say that?" Alec asked. "We're the soldiers here remember?"
Max smacked him upside the head.
Alec shot daggers at her. "What the friggin' hell was that for?"
"For being you!" Max crowed triumphantly.
"Now ladies, please do stop with the bickering." Legolas said amiably as if all was well in the world of—of crossovers.
Alec's glower was now directed at him. "Ladies? Who're you calling a lady? The last time I checked it wasn't me who had long blonde hair."
"I believe that would be me," Buffy piped up.
"Wasn't talking about you, slayer." Alec said dismissively.
"Food's ready!" Amara's voice called out from the kitchen.
The guys exchanged looks with one another before rushing off towards the food. Draco disapparated, Alec blurred, Scott sauntered, Kurt teleported, Aragorn trudged, and Legolas pranced.
"Huh," Max commented in a very Logan-way. "Guess that one's gay too."
Buffy rolled her eyes. "Let's just get to the kitchen before the food disappears."
When they arrived, the food was indeed gone.
"Alright, who was the pig who finished all of the food?" Max asked, planting her hands on her hips, a scowl on her face.
Alec pointed at Draco.
Draco pointed at Legolas.
Legolas pointed at Scott.
Scott pointed at Aragorn.
Aragorn pointed at Kurt.
Kurt pointed at Alec.
"All of them did," Amara said throwing her hands up in the air in frustration.
Kurt shrugged. "Don't blame us, we were hungry."
Tabby was glaring at him. "You know blue boy, the more you eat, the more you sweat."
Kurt raised an eyebrow. "Animals don't sweat."
"Who said you were one?" Tabby shot back.
"Hey, I've got a riddle for you guys!" Scott suggested excitedly. "What kind of animal doesn't sweat?"
"Gee, all of them?" Max replied sarcastically.
"Hmm, you're right." Scott said, racking his brain thoroughly. "Hey what would happen if fish sweated?"
"Fish?" Jean asked. "Really, Scott. You're imagination is going on overdrive. But anyway—since you brought it up...If fish sweated, then all bodies of water will be made of fish sweat. And so all of us will be drinking fish sweat."
"EW!!!!"
"PURIFIED FISH SWEAT!" Alec crowed. "Let's start a business!"
"SHUT UP!!"
"So where exactly is this fic going?" Scott asked breaking the pin-pointing, and when the girls had taken their seats.
He was met with strange looks from everyone.
"What?" he asked.
"What the hell is a fic?" Alec asked, bewildered. "I've learned a lot of things from Manticore. And when I say a lot, I really mean a lot. And I have not heard of any so-called fic."
Scott cleared his throat in that 'I-am-wiser-than-you' way. "A fic is short for fanfiction, which is a fictious story made by a certain person."
"Huh." Max said.
"Is that an 'I-understand-huh' or a 'I-don't-understand-huh?'" Scott asked.
"The latter," Max replied.
"Well I certainly understood it!" Draco huffed superiorly. "And I must say that I have absolutely no idea where this fic is going."
"Shall we end it here then?" Aragorn asked, speaking for the first time. "It seems that the author is running out of brilliant ideas."
"Or maybe she's just hungry," Max said pointedly.
"Yeah, and since all of you finished all the frickin' food, we're gonna have to say good-bye." Buffy said glaring at all of them.
"NO!" Legolas yelled, and started to sob, in a MANLY way of course. "I haven't even shown you my happy-elf-dance yet."
"That's alright dearie," Scott said patting him sympathetically on the arm. "You can show me later tonight."
Everyone was staring at him now.
"Oops, I think I've said too much." Scott said flushing red. "I'll just shut up now."
"Brilliant idea!" Alec said loudly.
"I'm sleepy," Legolas said in an equally loud voice. "I think I'll head up to my room now." He said, but not before nudging Scott and shooting him a look that obviously said: 'meet me there.'
"Come to think of it—I'm tired too," Max said yawning and standing up. "Alec? Care to escort me to my room?"
Alec smirked. "With pleasure, madam."
"Too bad Spike isn't here," Buffy murmured under her breath.
"Well, I kinda look like him..." Draco said waggling his eyebrows suggestively at Buffy.
She sneered at him. "Not in a million years, blondie."
"You know what, we're all babbling!" Amara yelled out. "Why don't we just SHUT UP?!"
"FINE!!!" Everyone yelled back.
FIN –
A/N: BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!! Wacha think?!!!