ROBIN and all related characters, names and indicia are TM & © DC Comics 2004. Story by Chuck Dixon, novella adaptation by Ice Spectre.

Rated PG

Author's Note: Just when I was doing SO well with keeping updated in a timely manner, I catch the fever that was going around :P I apologize for the delay, I'll try to keep up better now.

"TRIUMPH OVER TRAGEDY" - This Town Needs An Enema

"A be-oo-tiful night's labor, my felonious fellows! Remind me to put you down for overtime!" Joker had his arms spread wide, and his voice high and loud.

"Anybody seen the Batman?" Bones glanced around nervously, as if ready to hush The Joker. But he would never dare.

"He's still working the other side of the street," Joker didn't worry or lower his voice at all.

Standing nearby, a young man with dark hair pointed to the nearest building top. "Hey! He is here!"

"What'd'ya 'spect? With Robin here, Batman couldn't be far behind," a fatherly looking man commented to the younger man.

"Rats! The flying rodent finally makes an appearance," The Joker tore his hat from his head and reached his open hand behind him. "Hand me something lethal, boys! I want to say howdy to ol' long ears! Gotta make the best of a bad situation!"

Joker felt a semi-automatic being pressed into his palm. He opened fire without aiming or thinking, only laughing. As a barrage of bullets flew towards Batman, Joker waved his men back. "To the truck, my illegal beagles! I'll deal with tall, dark and gruesome on my own!" Joker was shouting in joy. A long, frightening laugh spurted continuously from him.

The holographic image of Batman flickered but remained as bullets went right through it. Perplexed, The Joker stopped firing. Atop a building not a block away, Alfred quickly shut the image down. It was too late. The Joker already knew it was only an image. But what he didn't know was why.

A laugh followed by automatic gunfire. It's gotta be The Joker. I think I'm fully recovered from having a woman hung from my utility belt, but even in top form, am I ready for this? That poor woman on the ledge wasn't a suicide at all. That's why she was so terrified. It was a setup. She was a player in The Joker's sick little drama. A distraction. But from what? People look no bigger than specks from up here. I've got to get down there where the bullets were fired. I hate guns.

My batarang is already wrapped around a chimney pipe on a shorter building across the street. This is not for fun now. I can see a purple suit and green hair. The man below me killed the last person to wear my costume. the man below me has nearly killed Batman a hundred times. I feel pinching in my right hand and realize that I've balled my hand into a very tight fist. I have to be careful not to let my anger throw me off.

My anger goes with the releasing of my fist, but my terror comes with that. Maybe Batman will be back soon. Maybe he should be the one to—

If I screw this one up, I'll be dead.

For a moment, I can only hear silence, even though there are crowds of people below, ambulance sirens, everything. The snow seems to be muffling everything up here. Suddenly, I push off and swing down towards the next lowest roof.

I'm just going to have to not screw up.

He doesn't see me coming. Down on the street, The Joker is still holding his weapon, staring at where the hologram had been. I get him right in the back with both feet. He goes down, loosing another few bullets from his gun. They hit no one. In one swift movement, I pull the bo out of the back of my belt and press the button that extends it instantly. The Joker is turning himself over slowly to a sitting position. Even when on the ground he looks bigger than me. Standing up, he must be at least a whole foot taller than me.

"As I surmised," The Joker rubbed the back of his neck, still sitting in the snow, "you're not the same Robin. The new costume is tres chic."

I've had enough of this. But he isn't moving. I'm not going to hit a man when he's lying on the ground, and the police should be closing in any minute now. Any minute now...

"A bit of a runt, aren't we? Kicked out of the nest too soon?" Joker is looking me up and down. Great. Anybody else want to comment on my size?

"On your feet, Joker. It's over." I sound a lot more confident than I feel. A lot more. Could it really have been this easy to catch The Joker?

"What's your hurry, Birdboy?" He really knows how to push all my buttons, doesn't he? Like calling me runt and Birdboy. Joker's still sitting on the ground and it's taking all my restraint not to smack him with my staff. Why's he just sitting there? "Why not stop and smell the flowers?"

Whoa! A stream of green, fizzing acid sprays from his lapel flower. I yank my cape across my face and turn away from him. That was way too close. By the time I turn back around, Joker's up and his cane is whistling towards my face.

"Perhaps you won't mind if I raise a little cane?" I start to duck, but I'm not fast enough. The blow meant for my chin hits me in the mouth and the bottom corner of my mask. I can feel blood from the corner of my lip and from where the edge of my mask was crushed into my temple... I can't get balance... The blow to my temple must have dizzied me... The ground comes up to meet me. I'm on my hands and knees in the snow. I spit blood into the slush.

"I'm quite the cut-up, as I'm sure your benighted buddy has told you!"

I hear a silvery sshhhing! like a sword being drawn. Where'd he get a sword?

"Did he tell you how I killed the last Robin?"

Dazed... His voice is coming from a million miles away...

"Took a real whipping! With a crowbar! Then... BLAMO! He blowed up real good!"

I pull myself to my knees and wipe some of the blood away with the back of my glove. Now I see where the sword came from. The Joker uncapped his cane, and the sword was inside. Unfortunately, I'm seeing three swords, and three Jokers. I blink to clear my vision, but all I can see are slowly rotating Jokers and bright, moving lights.

"Blew him right out of his booties! Ha ha!" The Joker's cackling hysterically now. I have to admit, the combination of my disorientation and Joker's description of Jason Todd's death has me just a little terrified. He raises his sword. I can barely see... Too many lights...

"Make like a statue, creep!" The police. Lights were flashlights. Got Joker surrounded. Have to stand up...

"Oh, pshaw!" Joker caps his sword again. "I prefer to make like a tree..."

He's reaching in his pocket. Pulling out some pellet. Probably gas. Throwing it at me. Green gas explodes all around me.

"...and leave!" Joker runs off cackling maniacally.

Hold my breath... Move away... Gas is probably lethal... Hear the police gunshots and ricochets. They didn't get him. Worse yet, neither did I.

I plant my bo in the snow and lean on it.

"You okay, kid?" a police officer touches me lightly on the shoulder. Any harder and he could have knocked me over in the state I'm in right now.

"He got away, right?" I ask him.

"Only thing left of that psycho is a ton of discharged weapons forms to fill out."

Then, no. I'm not okay.

"Got a coupla squad units chasin' him," another officer adds over my other shoulder.

"You sure you don't want a ride somewhere, kid?" the first police officer asks me. I bet no one ever asked Batman if he wanted a ride somewhere, kid.

"No, I have a ride. Thanks." Yeah, I'm not sounding like Batman's partner. I'm sounding like a kid in a Halloween costume.

"Nice effort, Robin," the officer adds as I stagger away.

"Sure," is all I can manage. Good thing no one asked me where Batman was while Joker was kicking my tail. That would have been fun to explain.

"Oh, Osgood!" Joker leaned on the back of the chair Dr. Osgood Pellinger was firmly tied to, "the mayhem we shall cause! With your program to dismantle the infrastructure of Gotham tucked snugly away in t he bowels of the phone company, such glorious pranks we shall pull! And no one can stop us, thanks to your brilliance and my talent for the diabolical."

Joker turned and sat on the panel, massaging the back of his neck. "Not even that crimefighting sparrow who's made such a pest of himself!"

Joker stood bolt upright. "Hold on a tick! I just now remembered! Where was Batman? What was the deal with that optical illusion I shot holes in? Who is zooming whom? Could it be that Robin is... home alone?"

Responses to Reviews:

Eloihann – By the time I got around to buying the comics of this series, I could only find 1-3, and four was sold out in my home town. So when the trade came out, I finally knew the end ;)

giveGodtheglory – Thanks! You too!