Disclaimer: I do not own any of the TP characters…Disney does!!
Notes: This takes place on Earth!
"Uh…hi. Welcome to the Benbow Inn," Jim stammered. He received a disbelieving stare from his mom. Amelia looked calm and collected as usual; obviously, the teen's actions didn't startle her in the slightest.
"Good afternoon, James. Nice to see you're still in the Halloween spirit," the captain said pointedly.
"Are you wearing my underwear?" Sarah asked, slowly.
"Haha, yeah…about that…uh, it was an accident," the teenager replied. He knew he was digging into a hole he couldn't possibly pull himself out of.
"Yes, it was.---really---Jim was only pretending to be fruity," spoke up Erica. Her pale blue eyes looked sincere.
"Erica!" cried the teen. He twisted himself into a standing position. "Look. Guys. I was just fooling around," he added, shuddering slightly when he realized that he was still wearing the blond wig.
"For your information, James, there are plenty of websites out there just for men like you," Amelia informed him. She gave the teen a subtle wink.
"Captain, I'm not---"
"Jim. Please take off my Victoria Secret…ahem…lingerie and the wig!" hissed Sarah, her blue eyes darting around the room. A lingering guest was just exiting the inn. With great dignity, Jim removed the bra and the wig.
"I was going to ask you to do a manly thing, but I guess that's beyond you," sighed Sarah melodramatically.
Jim was all ears. "What?"
"To pick up a turkey," his mom replied.
"Oh, wow, sticking my hand into a freezer's really hard," the teen said sarcastically. Erica grinned up at him. Amelia rolled her eyes as if to say the lack of discipline is making me sick.
Sarah smiled knowingly. "If you say so, Jim. Here are the directions." She handed him a folded piece of paper. Jim grabbed it and marched out of the door. Erica loped after him like a puppy.
"Well, it looks like you'll be here a bit longer," Sarah said as brightly as she could. She and Amelia walked into the living room, where the broken window was.
Meanwhile…
"Yuck, this place reeks," Erica grumbled. They were pulling into a gravel driveway. Feathers were everywhere and the property smelled like…well…dirty birds. Jim was getting suspicious.
"Why the heck did my mom send me out here when I could have gotten a frozen turkey from Giant or something?" he muttered. The hair growth stuff felt cold and stiff on his scalp without the wig on.
"I don't know," the girl answered. She skipped ahead towards an old, gray looking house. A traditional looking farmer was sitting out front. He wore faded overalls and was sucking on a hay stalk.
"Birds are out back," he snorted.
"Thanks," the teen and Erica said in unison. The farmer grunted.
"Wow, which one do you want?" gasped Erica. Dozens of white turkeys milled around in a large pen. Spilled corn was all over the place.
"What the---why aren't they brown?" Jim exclaimed. He had had a mental image of a large brown turkey with the multi-colored tail. These were fat and white.
"I guess this is a certain breed of turkey."
"Whatever. They're just stupid birds. Let's take that big one over there and let's go," the teenager grumbled. Erica shrugged her thin shoulders and watched as Jim jumped over the fence. He grabbed at his desired turkey. With a loud yelping noise, the bird tried to flap its small wings. Loose feathers flew in the air.
"Here!" shouted Jim. He threw the large bird at Erica. She caught it successfully. The animal, now dazed, sat quietly in her arms.
"Hey," giggled the girl, "it's kinda cute." She stroked its snowy feathers.
"That'll be twenty bucks. Here, let me kill it for you," the farmer offered. He picked up an old rifle which had been laying at his feet.
"No!" cried Erica. She clutched at the turkey. Even Jim felt a tad put off about killing the animal.
"Uh," the teen said, "can't we take it home?"
"Sure," the farmer replied. He took the money from Jim. Quickly, the two kids walked towards the van.
"Look. Just hold it on your lap and don't let it go all over the place," Jim ordered.
"I won't. Hey, how about we call it Jimbo?"
"Heck no!" Jim protested. The bird was glaring at him. Every now and then it uttered strange yodeling noises. The teen put the key into the ignition and put the van into reverse. At the end of the driveway, he turned the minivan towards the right.
"But he looks like a Jimbo," Erica argued. She began to look stubborn.
"NO!" cried Jim.
His yell startled the turkey, which bolted underneath the teen's seat. Jim tried to break, but the bird's butt was in the way. In desperation, he swerved the van to the side of the road. With an ear-splitting crash, the vehicle broke into the turkey's pen. The windshield exploded into smithereens as a section of the fence careened into it. Turkeys stampeded into the van.
"Do you think your mom will find out about this?" Erica asked hollowly as the farmer came sprinting towards them. Jim started to curse.
Thanks to all who reviewed!! Editing note---I read the last chapter and was horrified to see that there weren't any transitions. I had put in asterisks where a new section should start, but obviously they were missing. So, starting now, I'm working on better transitions. Please review!!