Title: No Such Thing as Friends
Summary: Another Harper Seefer fic-Harper feels broken after the ep. What will be was Not
Warnings: Suicide attempt
Spoilers: Again anything in S5 up to "What will be was Not" is game.
Authors Notes: You're all probably like, "What's with this nut?! She posts one of these stupid things after every episode! Get a life!" yea, well, guilty as charged XP I'll never get over all the things they do to poor Harper and so will instead continuiously write these fics until they're actually not cruel to him. Which at this point'll mean I'll post more of these forever and ever. -everyone screams- Anyways, I was so, SO ticked off when Rhade AND Beka through him all over the bar in "What will be was Not" and Rhade called him a kludge and threw him out the window! -sighs angrily- Ok, anyhow, onto the fic! I might make more of this with Beka's perspective and stuff too if anyone wants. Just a random thing there.
No Such Thing as Friends
Harper winced as he held his hand up to his swollen eye. He stared at the mirror before him, looking more like a lost boy then he would've liked to admit. He couldn't stop his mind from wondering back to a few hours earlier. His eyes suddenly stung with tears and he quickly tried to blink them away, though with little sucess. He had almost lost it earlier when Rhade had mentioned it.
"So what, there might be another Beka Valentine out there in flying in the Maru with Seamus Harper at her right hand?"
Again he tried to blink back the tears and bit his lip hard.
"Get a fricken grip." He scolded himself, his voice shaking slightly. How could he, though? He had known his crew had despised him because of everything he'd done, though he also never regretted it. His crew saw who he really was, the person he had spent so hard covering up on the Andromeda, for the first time. It felt kind of good that they knew, but at the same time...at the same time he felt such a great amount of betrayal that it was eating him alive. It had gotten to the point where he had broken in tears for the first time in a year while repairing the bar. His "friends" had not only thrown him across the room like a peice of trash, but destroyed his bar. It might've sounded silly, but it really meant something to Harper. He had spent so much time updating it, fixing it and devoted himself to it.
He shut his eyes and let out a deep breath. Another fresh memory came to the surface of his mind, though he tried to push it away. Rhade had called him a kludge. He hadn't...he hadn't been called a kludge since they were in the other universe. Being called that by a Neitchain, one he was supposed to be friends with no less...it hurt him. Bad. The tears threaten to slip from beneath his eyelids, but he stubbornly held them. He was stronger now, he had grown up on Earth, lived three years in this hell alone, and even now had no one and was surviving. Though his thoughts shifted again as the pain cried out for his attention. It had hurt him just as bad to what else Rhade, his "friend", had doen. Thrown him, tossed him, out the window.
"Hey, take it outside!" He had demanded of them again. Though he couldn't remember being lifted from the ground, he had remembered impacting the hard wood, could taste the blood in his mouth as he fell in a daze on the ground outside. His head spun, though he could make out the words.
"That outside enough for ya?!"
"No such things as friends." He murmered to himself with a shaky laugh, before gritting his teeth. Rhade throwing him out the window, calling him a kludge, that didn't compare to the pain he felt when Beka had thrown him across the room not just once, but twice. No, that had hurt the worst. But why the heck should it hurt?! He had already confermed that she hated him. He let out another shaky breath at the thought. She really hated him. She had been the only hope he had clung onto through those three years. The hope she would come, ward off his demons and be there for him like she had done before. Like she had promised she would always do. He had been so, so wrong.
He had always been able to keep the feeling of betrayal and hurt hidden when around them. They never noticed, of course they wouldn't have. He thought he could keep up the act as long as he had to, but he had never expected them to go from disliking him to thinking him less than trash. The feeling of betrayal had become unbearable when Rhade had mentioned him, Beka, and the Maru. He hadn't been trash then, well as far as he knew. He had been Beka's friend. That had brought back so many memories. Too many. They had crushed him, hurt him. Beka throwing her arms around him when Trance had switched places with her future self. Him and Beka in the Maru, fighting their way through life together. The last time they talked before they had been taserected to Seefer...Now look where they were. They hated him, and...honestly thought of him as a kludge.
"A kludge." He echoed his thoughts, and where the numbness he had just felt was suddenly filled with pain. For a moment as his lonley form stood before the reflection he want to curl up into a ball and disapeer from life itself. He had never felt so much hurt, so much sence of betrayal in his life. Not when any of his parents had died in front of him. Not when he had to kill his cousins. Not when he had found out Branden was dead. Suddenly the tears became unholdable and they exploded from his eyes and slid down his cheeks. He let out shaky breaths, accompanied by small sobs, which he tried desperatly to hold back. He was just a kludge. Rhade had said it. Beka hadn't argued with it. No one cared about him. He opened his eyes and looked to the ceiling above him. The only reason he had valued life so much was because of them. Now they didn't care about him. Why didn't he realize before that there was no such thing as friends? Nothing to fight for. Just a dead hope, dead dreams, dead memories. His hand rested on a gun on the table beside him, though he kept his eyes fixed on the mirror before him. The tears were now flowing so strongly from his eyes that they blinded him and he couldn't hold back the loud sobs that escaped his lips and racked his body.
"There's no such thing as friends." He whispered through his tears and slowly he lifted the gun to his head. He shut his eyes tightly, and tried his best to picture how Beka had once been. How kind her eyes had been. How soft her voice was when she had been there for him. A gasp echoed somewhere from the back of his mind and a glass shattered onto the ground, but he took no notice to it and instead uttered once more his last words. "There's no such thing as friends." He fired.
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Hehe, so how'd you guys like it? Please, PLEASE review! And, again I may make another fic with Beka's POV or just plainly write more of this. Mah, just a thought.