Chapter Two: Year Two 1977- 1978

August, 17, 1977, by the lake behind my house

I cannot stop thinking about Lily. I want to marry her one day. I got a letter from her and she has the most beautiful handwriting I've ever seen. Her letter said to meet her in Diagon Alley on the 23rd. I'll be there!!!

Sirius, Remus, Peter and I have been working on our animagi forms. This is more difficult than I thought it would be. I would go to McGonagall for help but we would get expelled for trying to be come illegal animagi.

August 23, 1977, by the lake behind my house

It is 5:30 in the morning and I've been ready for our trip to Diagon Alley for three hours. I don't know why I get so nervous around her; she's the epitome of my existence; why I breathe for the love of fizzing whizbees!!! Why did I have to know her my whole life? If I had only known her for a year, being obsessed with her would be so much easier. I wouldn't have to hide behind my stupid journal. She can't know that I love her. It would ruin our friendship. It's time to go...more later.

Later...

Lily looked absolutely gorgeous! Who knew a twelve year old could look older, and so wise and mature? I sure didn't. First we went to Quality Quidditch Supplies. Another thing about Lily, she loves Quidditch almost as much as I do, if not more. Afterwards we went to get our robes. Next we went to Flourish and Blots. She is terrified of the man who owns the shop. I don't blame her. He looks like death, sitting on a corner waiting for the knight bus. He is ugly. He has a gap in his teeth so big, you don't know whether to smile back or kick a field goal. Anyways...she slipped her hand into mine out of fear I believe, not affection. Still, I enjoyed it way more than I should have.

September 24, 1977, by the lake

I made the Quidditch team! Seeker. For some reason I'm not as excited as I should be. Maybe it's because we lost out first game to the Slytherins. Bloody Snape. As greasy as he is how did he stay on the bloody broom?

On a better note, Lily kissed me today. Maybe when she slipped her hand into mine, in Flourish and Blots, it was out of affection. I don't normally kiss and tell but...it was wonderful. Where did she learn how to do that? Her lips were soft and moisturized. Not all cracked and ashy looking like that Slytherin girl Patsy Parkinson. What was her mother thinking? Patsy? I think I will ask Lily to be my girl friend. I think she likes me. Just a little.

November 4, 1977, by the lake

I just had a brilliant idea. If the boys and I are going to help Remus stop hurting himself during his...time of the month...so to speak...um...then we are going to need secret ways of getting around. I notice something about the statue of the One- Eyed- Witch on the third floor. There's something eerie about it. Like she's hiding something. So I tapped on it with my wand...nothing...then I realized...why don't I use my mantra? "I solemnly swear I am up to no good." Ka- ching, Ka- ching, bling, bling, bling!!!

So...um...I got into the statue and slid down the slidy tunnel thingy. Where was I? In the basement of Honeydukes!!! I immediately told the guys about it. We do need a code name don't we? That's the second entrance we have found into Hogsmeade without going the REGULAR, CIVILIZED way. I feel all warm and fuzzy inside.

December 15, 1977, by the lake

It's almost time for Christmas break again and we still haven't even come close to mastering the animagus thingy. I mean...how hard could it be to turn oneself into an animal. It certainly shouldn't take more than a few months to get some antlers or something. Sirius hasn't even started to sprout fur yet. And Peter...he doesn't even know the incantation. Don't tell him but, he is a total loser.

The other day I found this awesome piece of parchment. I know, I know, big deal a piece of parchment but it is special. It spoke to me. I dunno why it spoke to me...but it did. I think that parchment will come in handy. It's got pockets and sometimes when you look at it, it shimmers or something. I'll ask Lily about it. She's so smart and pretty (insert sigh here) and I know she'll know what to do.

January 1, 1978, by the lake behind my house

The most awesome thing happened over break!!!!! I sound like a little girl squealing about a kiss: BUT THIS KISS WAS FROM LILY!! Behold, the boyfriend of Lily Pad Evans. I asked her out after giving her this necklace thingy. I don't know why girls like jewelry so much. My theories are as follows:

Thought # 1: it's shiny, and they like shiny stuff.

Thought # 2: it actually does mean something to them emotionally

Thought # 3: they think it's really worth something

And last but certainly not least

Thought # 4: they like to attract attention to their necks, fingers and other appendages

Over the holiday, I had spent most of my time at Lily's house. My parents have been fighting a lot lately and Sirius wasn't home. He went to visit his grandparents in Spain or something. I think that's why his Grandma (she told me to call her Abuelita...er?) always calls me Diego. Diego is James in Spanish. And Remus was out with parents trying to find cures for his lycanthrope. I hope they find a cure. He goes through so much pain every month...um...and I feel really bad for him. He always looks like he gets beat up by his parents but he doesn't.

Any way...at Lily's house we had so much fun. Not that kind of fun! Get your mind out of the gutter...not that you have a mind...it's just an expression. But we watched movies on these giant projector thingies. We watched The Parent Trap with Hayley Mills and we also watched the Brady Bunch on the fellyvision. I think Greg Brady looks kind of like me. I mean, I have dark, unruly hair; he has dark, unruly hair. I have hazel eyes; he has hazel eyes. (A/n: I know Greg Brady had blue eyes, but I don't like blue eyes...so there) Then one of Lily's muggle friends from Scotland called on the fellytone and they started laughing about something...girls are weird. But I got to talk to her. Her name and she sounded like a man. At first I thought it was my dad until she started talking about polishing her nails. Why would you want to polish your nails? And apparently there is this polish that you put on your nails called nailpolish. I have one word to say: muggles.

One night Lily and me were in the loft upstairs. Her parents weren't there so we were sitting really close and that's when I asked her to be my girlfriend and she said yes!! Under one condition: I had to stop making fun of Snape. Girls and their feelings...a bunch of psychos I say.

February 14, 1978 by the lake

Lily is mad at me. I have no idea what I could've done to make her upset. I sat next to her at breakfast like every morning. I poured her some pumpkin juice. And then I started to eat. Then she said:

"Aren't you forgetting something?"

Then I said:

"Oops, sorry Lily Love." Then I kissed her on the cheek and I kept on eating.

Then she got up from the table and stormed off. When I called after her, she gave me the bird. As in, she flipped me off. As in, elevating her middle finger and pointing it... AT ME!!! HER BOYFRIEND!!! That's what gave me the clue she was a tad bit peeved. No, that was the understatement of the century. She was infuriated.

I have a few theories about her...um...misplaced finger:

Thought #1: Perhaps I accidentally spit on her when I kissed her

Thought #2: She didn't like it when I kissed her with my mouth full of sausage

Thought #3: Perhaps I forgot to brush my teeth and she...noticed

Thought #4: My breath smelled foul

Thought #5: She no longer appreciates public displays of affection

Thought #6: it's our 1- month anniversary and I didn't get her anything?

Although I'm pretty sure our one-month anniversary was last month on the 28th. But I just don't know what to. I'll ask Remus, he has a brother with a girlfriend so he should know what to do.

Later... by the lake

Well I asked Remus, who asked Romulus, his brother, and his brother told him to tell me to ask one of Lily's friends what was wrong with her. So I found Louise 'Peaches' Johansen (who just happens to be going out with third year Gryffindor, Harvey Thomas) and I asked her why Lily was so peeved at me:

"Peaches! Hey Peaches, wait up!"

"What?" she snapped. Geez.

"I was just wondering if you knew why Lily was so mad at me?"

"You don't know why she's mad at you?" I hate it when people answer questions with questions.

"No...that's why I asked you."

"Don't get fresh with me, Potter!" What crawled up her butt and died?

"Look, I just want to know why she's mad so I can retrace my steps and apologize, alright?"

"Go to the library. Find the muggle calendar. Look up today's date." ER?

"Okay...then what?"

"I'm getting to that. Don't interrupt me!" Well excuse me Princess Peaches.

"Sorry."

"You'll see the name of a holiday in the little box. Look it up in the book of world holidays in the culture section of the library. Then you'll know why she's mad at you."

"Why can't you just tell me?"

"Because I don't even want to be talking to you right now!!!" Well that explains the attitude.

"Thank you, Peaches."

"Humph." Then she gave me a dirty look and walked away. So I went to the library and went straight to the muggle calendar. And I looked up today's date.

February 14, 1978: St. Valentine's Day

What's so special about that? Why is Lily mad if it's a day for St. Valentine? It doesn't say St. Lily...but listen to this...not that you have ears or anything...

I went to the culture section of the library and it took me four hours to find the Dictionary of World Holidays. So I looked up St. Valentine's Day and it said:

A muggle holiday that celebrates the union of two lovers whether it be husband and wife or boyfriend and girlfriend.

Underneath that, the word 'valentine' appeared:

1: A sweetheart chosen or complimented on St. Valentine's Day

2: A greeting card or present sent on this day

And then it suddenly clicked. On this day, a muggle holiday, I was supposed to say 'Happy Valentine's Day' to Lily and give her a present. And she was upset because she didn't get either. Now I get it. So I better go make it up to her.

Even later...by the lake again

Lily and I are okay now. But, man, was she mad. I went into the common room and she was there, sitting in her favorite chair by the fireplace. This chair also happened to be her 'angry chair.' So I walked up to her and started making all these silly faces until she said something. The second thing she had said to me since breakfast.

"Stop trying to butter me up, James. I'm mad at you." That's a start.

"That's what I came to talk to you about, Lily Love."

"What?" She sighed. She never sighed.

"I know why you're mad at me, now. And I came to fix it." And then I pulled out these purple lilies (tehehehe) and gave them to her. Then I held out my card and read it to her out loud.

Roses are red

Lily is blue

I hope this makes it better

Because I love you!

"Aww. James, that was beautiful! You wrote that for me?"

"Yes, for my Lily, the one and only."

"I'm sorry for being mad at you. I thought you'd forgotten."

"Actually, Lily Love, I didn't know up until a few hours ago."

"How could you not know? The entire castle is decorated in red, pink and white. The Cornish pixies have been transfigured into little Cupids. How could you not know?"

--shrug of shoulders--

"There are little hearts floating around."

--confused blink of eyes--

"Snape was frolicking."

Hold on one second. WHAT?? AND I DIDN'T GET TO SEE THIS? Not fair...not fair...

So yeah, while I was in the library desperately trying to find out why Lily was upset with me, Snape had been bewitched to frolic around the school...in bright red tights with little white hearts on them. That's the best blackmail material EVER and I totally missed it. Where are the guys? I need to be consoled.

March 30, 1978, by the lake

The most abnormal thing happened today. I was casually walking down the staircase from the boy's dormitories when I saw Sirius sniff his armpits and walk over towards Violet Brown, Chad Brown's sister. Now before I continue, I want to know why he had to sniff his armpits prior to his approach. My thoughts are thus:

Thought #1: He wanted to check for stubble (don't ask me why)

Thought #2: He was checking for any unwanted body odors

Thought #3: He felt a tick bite him

Thought #4: Maybe he hid some money in there?

But moving on about the girl. He must have said something vulgar because she slapped him right upside his head. He had a huge, red handprint on his face when he came back to the dormitories. So I asked him what he said to her:

"Sirius. What did you say to Violet earlier today?"

"Oh...you were there?" DUH

"Yeah...I was...what did you say to her?"

"You know. Just your basic pick up line." Oh no.

"Which one did you use, Sirius?"

"Well, just one I got from when I was in Spain." Oh no, oh no, no, no.

"Not the one that goes: 'Girl, are you tired, 'cause you been runnin' through my mind ALL day.'"

--shakes head no--

"Not the one that goes: 'I lost my wand, can I have yours?'"

--shakes head no and bows down in shame--

"Oh, man, Sirius! You didn't use that one...did you?"

"Yeah...I did."

No wonder why she slapped him. I just walked away in shame. If anybody ever reads this...don't EVER...under ANY circumstance approach a girl, or anyone and say:

If you were a booger, I'd pick you.

Why? My reasons are thus:

1: Nobody wants to be compared to nasal passage waste.

2: That is disgusting.

and 3:

Boogers are not the most glamorous of bodily discharge.

April 1, 1978, in detention

Yeah...I know...I'm in detention instead of in my spot by the lake. But it's April Fools' Day...and I couldn't resist playing some jokes on my more than deserving peers in the Slytherin dungeons.

Last night, Sirius and I, along with Peter (Remus was in his special spot as it was his time of the month) snuck down to the dungeons under my invisibility cloak. After careful planning and strategizing, we began to...execute.

First: I thought that the Slytherin boys' lavatories could use a bit of re-modeling. We went in the lavatory and set booby traps near all of the urinals so when the boys went to take a whiz...they were in for a quite painful surprise. What is the surprise? Well, if I told you it wouldn't be a surprise, now would it? Let's just say that it has something to do with teeth...and a few unfortunate Slytherin boys won't be able to have children. What a pity. But the funniest part is, we conjured the walls in the bathroom. It used to say:

All Gryffindors must die; especially the mudbloods

Now it says:

If you sprinkle when you tinkle, be a sweetie and wipe the seatie.

Second: Sirius thought it would be nice of us to update the Slytherin girls' wardrobe. They look so sickly wearing all those dark scary colors. So we went in the girls' dormitories and turned all of their robes into tie- die t-shirts that said 'world peace' and 'solid' on the front. You know what the funny part is? They can't change them back...nobody can...unless we tell them the incantation. So they came to breakfast this morning looking...like a crayon box.

Third: Peter...who is an idiot but he's a good guy to have around in a sticky situation...wanted to pour water on their faces and put whipped cream in their mouthwash. Like I said...Peter is not exactly the sharpest knife in the drawer. Needless to say, we didn't do that...

So now the three of us are in detention with McGonagall who has us writing essays about why we shouldn't prank our other house peers. I'm already finished with mine and Sirius fell asleep before he was finished with the heading. 't even read the assignment on the blackboard.

May 31, 1978, by the lake

Finals are over. I don't know how I did on them, nor do I care. The only ones that count are the O.W.L.'s anyway...and the N.E.W.T.s. The only thing left to do at Hogwarts for the next two weeks is to just sit back and relax and listen to the grass grow.

A/N: okay people...end of year two. And it took me a year to write it, how very fascinating.

Next chapter: divination...and the marauder's map