September 1, 1978, by the lake behind my house
I got my schedule for first term... and it is the worst thing I've ever seen in my whole life other than the time I walked in on my parents...well you don't want to hear about that...not that you can hear.
First Term:
Mondays: Double Potions, Double Transfiguration, Herbology
Tuesdays: Care of Magical Creatures, Double Arithmancy, Divination
Wednesdays: Double Divination, Double Defense Against the Dark Arts
Thursdays: Potions, Transfiguration, Care of Magical Creatures, Herbology
Fridays: Double Herbology, Triple Charms, Arithmancy, Ancient Runes
I don't know why they put all of my hard classes on the last day of the week!!!!! This means that I will have homework on weekends and I won't be able to prank teachers and other students. What did I do to deserve this?
October 31, 1978, boys' lavatoryDon't ask why I'm in here. Believe me...you don't want to know. I am supposed to be up at the Halloween ball but my mom sent me some prunes and well...you know the story. Let's just say that I've been in here for a while.
Somebody just walked in.
"Prongs?"
"Sirius? How did you know it was me?"
"The little doggy slippers were a dead giveaway. Why were you Scooby Doo for Halloween anyway? I thought that I was the dog in the group."
"Lily wanted to be Daphne and she said that I was too smart to be Fred or Shag-"
"-Wait a second! Shag? Waaaaahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha (abysmal chuckling)
"No Sirius...not shag...Shaggy."
"Oh."
"Can you leave? It's kind of embarrassing to be talking to you while I'm taking a crap."
"Eeeeew...sure...no problem, mate. Why didn't you ask me that before we started talking about shagging dogs? Now I'm getting nasty visuals..."
He kept muttering as he left, and here I am...alone...in the john...
When you're sittin' on the john and the toilet paper's gone; be a man! Use your hand!Baseball Crap:
When you're sliding into first and you hear something burst... diarrhea, diarrhea
When you're sliding into third and you feel a slimy turd... diarrhea, diarrhea
When you're sliding into home and you feel something foam...diarrhea, diarrhea
November 1, 1978, by the lakeAbout yesterday's entry...somebody spiked the punch...and that's all I have to say.
December 25, 1978, common room (the lake is frozen)
Lily gave us the most awesome present in the HISTORY of presents. Behold: The Marauder's Map!!! Remember that wicked piece of parchment that I found second year? Not that you have a memory or anything...anyways...I asked Lily about it. Since she is at the top of our year in Charms (That's my Lily...RIGHTEOUS!!) she was able to turn my parchment into a very complex map. This map shows everyone in the entire castle and it even shows secret passageways that Sirius and me didn't know about. We found the one- eyes witch on accident and we found that trapdoor in the third floor corridor while skipping Herbology, first year.
Unfortunately, Lily does not want anyone to know that she gave the map to us. She doesn't want to get in trouble. She even had us perform a Memory Charm on her so wouldn't remember making the thing. So, the password is my personal mantra...I solemnly swear that I am up to no good. Then to close it you say mischief managed. Or else anybody can read it; and we wouldn't want that would we?
For instance, we were on our way up to the common room last night watching Dumbledore pace in his office when we bumped into Snape. Remus dropped the map and Snape made a mad dash for it and picked it up. Luckily we had closed it and said the password. He tried to read what it said and made a complete moron of himself with words like abra cadabra and open sesame. I swear...anyways... the map started to show some words and we got scared and thought that the map was faulty but it wasn't:
Marauders:
Moony
Wormtail
Padfoot and
Prongs
Advise gits like Snape and any other Slytherins to stay out of other peoples' business.
And adding to Prongs' wonderful suggestion, it is agreed that Snape needs to attack his abnormally sized head with a full bottle of shampoo.
Then it disappeared. And Snape walked away. It was wonderful.
Then Peter had to go and ruin the moment and say:
"Yeah...Snape...Why don't you go lick the back of your hand and smell it!! 'Cause your breath STINKS!"
Why do we let him hang out with us?
February 2, 1979, detentionLily did the most unexpected thing today: She threw a teacup at Prof. Trelawney and then she left the tower. I was so proud that I stood up and clapped for her; and then that quack of a teacher gave me detention. Trelawney is the Divination professor and she has never told a true prophecy in her whole life and yet she teaches the so-called art that is fortune telling and zodiac reading. I think it's all a bunch of rubbish and I don't believe a word of it. Everytime she starts teaching us something, she stops, then she points at one of us and tells us something bad is going to happen to us. Yesterday she told Sirius that he was going to have acne until he was twenty- five. But that's impossible because his mum's fairy godmother put a secret enchantment on all of his mum's offspring so they couldn't get acne. Everybody knows that. I'll tell you what her problem is. She's been inhaling those fumes in her tower for too long...
After about an hour she told me that I could leave. Then she grabbed my arm...her voice got all husky and her eyes got even bigger than they already were...then she said:
"The next Potter heir will either destroy him, or be destroyed by him. They cannot live in the other's shadow and they both cannot live on the same planet at the same time. The next Potter heir will..."
Then she stopped. I don't know if I believe her.
April 16, 1979, Herbology
Correct me if I'm wrong, but in Herbology aren't you supposed to plant stuff? Because for the past three years that's what we've been doing. And then we get this substitute for one day who thinks she's all that and a bag of sugar quills...and she is telling us how we've been taught wrong and how Herbology is all about writing essays. If she wanted to write essay all day, she should've taken creative writing with the seventh years, because if I'm not mistaken HERBOLOGY is the study of HERBS and other plants!!!!!
I'm over it. But instead of working with Butobuber pus (a/n: sorry if I spelled that wrong) I had to write an essay about why literature is important to me...IN HERBOLOGY!!! What is this world coming to?
July 31, 1979, by the lake behind my house
I had a dream about what Trelawney said. I don't know if I should believe what she said. The dream had this baby boy in it. He looked exactly like me (not too bad) but he had Lily's eyes. Lily has these striking green eyes that are as green as a fresh pickled toad or the grass after spring morning dew. That's what his eyes looked like. And the baby was so happy but he didn't see the dark figure coming towards him; he didn't understand what was about to happen to him. But I never saw what happened what happened to him...because I woke up. But I was not awoken in vain...the same eyes that I had seen in the dream peered over me asI peeled open one eye at a time.
"James? Are you awake?" That voice is heavenly...
"Hey Lily Love. Have you come to kiss my eye bogies away?"
"No...but I did come to tell you that you are running late." Whoops...
"I am?"
"Yes...we are supposed to go for a ride in my new automobile today. Remember? Today is the day that you get to meet Petunia." (a/n: for those of you who haven't figured it out...Petunia will be driving because she is the oldest.)
"Of course, Lily Love. Let me brush my teeth."
"I was just about to remind you to do that." Like she needs to remind me to brush my teeth.
So...I gave her a big, wet, sloppy kiss for telling me to brush my teeth...I think I grossed her out. What can I say? Don't mess with a guy that has morning breath.
Moving right along...today was the worst day of my life. Let's just say I don't think Petunia likes me very much. This is how our conversation went:
I held the door open for Lily, then I got into the car...
"Hullo. I'm James. How are you?"
"GRUNT."
"Oh...um, Lily, is she a mute? Because I can lip read."
"No, I'm not a mute you idiot! I just don't want to be talking to a bunch of nasty little preteens all day!"
"That's no reason for you not to say 'hello!' I mean...geez...I know you weren't raised like that."
"Grunt."
So then I stopped talking.
I have a few theories about why she felt the need to 'grunt' instead of talk. And they are as follows:
1: She had a piece of broccoli in her teeth and was trying to remove it and speak simultaneously.
2: She didn't want to talk to me like she said.
3: She thought I was a gorilla (due to my black unruly hair) and wanted to speak to me in my 'native' tongue.
4: She was trying to make up a different language and testing it on me to see how I would respond.
But I'm glad that she stopped grunting and I stopped talking because this awesome song came on the muggle radio in the car and I was just amazed at how it captured my feelings for Lily:
It Takes Two (With Kim Weston)
by Marvin Gaye
HER: One can have dream, baby
HIM: Two can make that dream so real
HER: One can talk about being in love
HIM: Two can say how it really feels
HER: One can wish upon a star
HIM: Two can make that wish come true (Yeah!)
HER: One can stand alone in the dark
HIM: Two can make the lights shine through
It takes two, baby
It takes two, baby
Me and you
Just take two
It takes two, baby
It takes two, baby
To make a dream come true
Just take two
HER: One can have a broken heart, livin' in misery
HIM: Two can really ease the pain, like a perfect remedy
HER: One can be alone in a car, on a night like these all alone
HIM: Two can make just any place seem just like bein' at home
Just take two, just take two
HER:(Ooh!) One can go out to a movie, lookin' for a special treat
HIM: Two can make that single movie somethin' really kinda sweet
HER: (Yeah!) One can take a walk in the moonlight, thinkin' that it's really nice
HIM: But two walkin' hand-in-hand is like addin' a pinch of spice
I love that song...I think it should be our song.
August 4, 1979, the Knight BusI'm on my way home from my brother's house. They liked my suggestion to name my nephew Nick. Tatiana didn't like that name at first because of the huge Russian Revolution and all that stuff, but Jake said he talked her into it. Then he pointed at her stomach, chuckled and walked away. I don't even want to know. I also saw Nina but she didn't talk to me very much:
"Hey Nina."
(irritated glare of eyes)
"Okay...so I'll got over here and pretend that I'm invisible."
(sarcastic smile)
And that's all she said to me. I'm thinking that she doesn't like me very much. I have e few theories on that:
1: She's jealous that I'm a wizard and she's a squib
2: She jealous because I'm better looking than she is (It's not my fault if her mom is ugly)
3: She had to sleep on the couch while I got her bed
4: Her little brother likes me and not her
5: Because I'm taller than her?
Who knows?
A/N: REVIEW! REVIEW! REVIEW! Please? For me?
Next chapter: is somebody sprouting fur? It's the year before N.E.W.T.s, who is getting irritable?