Chapter 49
Let He Who Casts the First Stone
- - - - -
Buffy was ready and waiting for the Ministry people at exactly eleven o'clock. They didn't show up lightly, as Giles would have said. No, they came and they had a great number of Aurors with them.
Two dozen people came, wands out, most of them pointing to the curious blonde-haired woman just staring at them, as though she were daring a smartass comment about why they were going to take her in by force, when there was no force to be had.
She really wasn't up to fighting the good guys.
She gave Harry one last comforting look. At least, she hoped it was comforting. She'd spent far too much time being dark and evil lately. She'd forgotten what comfort had felt like.
Breakfast had been interesting. She'd felt almost normal, with her boyfriend on one side and her friends surrounding her. But the dynamic had changed. One could have cut through the intensity with a grapefruit spoon.
And then there were the Slytherins, being far too nice to her. It creeped her out, especially when she left and a small delegation asked her to join them at their table. She'd declined, basically because she was at the receiving end of at least a dozen glares from the Gryffindor table. She had been half tempted, just to see the look on Professor Snape's face, but had refused, walking away quickly.
Oliver had caught up with her shortly afterwards.
As much as she longed to ask him what was on his mind, she'd had experience with this from Angel. It was comforting to know that he didn't find her disgusting or evil or anything. He had touched her, had held her, but she felt something missing. The spark between them must have been shorted out, because he had yet to look her in the eyes.
From what Buffy could tell, he felt betrayed because she hadn't shared her plans with him. Well, she was a Slayer and she'd been doing that for years. But here things were different than normal. He had a heart and it beat just the same as hers did, and for one fleeting moment, she wondered if she had broken that heart when she'd gone off on her blaze of glory.
She loved him. But she didn't know if he felt the same way. Once she returned from the Ministry, she was going to find out the hard way. She was going to lay her heart on the table and let it bleed if she had to. She had to know how he felt, because Angel had tortured her with his silent act. She wasn't about to do it again.
Harry, on the other hand, was in the mindset to not leave her side in case something bad should happen to her. Again. He didn't know that she had been dead, even if for a few moments until Faith finally discovered why Buffy's soul was still in tact.
It really scared her how close she had finally come to the end, and for a stupid reason as well. She couldn't remember what it was, but she knew the answer was coming soon.
She hadn't really felt warm. The room she'd slept in had been quite cool. The shower water was very hot. But her insides were still cold, as though they were reminding her of her sins. Which, incidentally, she hadn't been able to remember yet.
This was the reason, perhaps that more than others, why she refused to fight twenty four heavily armed Wizards. She followed them calmly through the school to the fireplace they'd connected to the Floo network. Within moments, her wrists were being wrapped in chains.
On the way to her own holding cell, she saw Faith walking towards their group, looking as though she'd been scrubbed clean. She was dressed in a brand-new robe and cloak set, and she looked as though she were resolved about something.
They walked past each other, each Slayer giving the other a small smile of determined luck. "Good luck," Buffy said quietly as she was led away.
Faith was marched down to where they had started the resurrection spell for Sirius. It was sort of ironic; the same place where they'd brought her brother back was the same place where her life was most likely going to end. Well, end in England anyway.
There was only a small delegation of Wizards inside the room they led her into. She sat down in the chair they offered her and waited silently for them to begin.
For a moment, no one said anything.
Finally, the person in the middle stopped staring at her and lifted a roll of parchment. "You are Delita Black, are you not?"
"Yes," Faith said; this was probably going to be easier, after all.
"Your listed residence is the Black family home in London?"
"Yes."
"I have a record here of everything that was spoken last night," the man said in his wheezy tone. "Will you state the validity of your claims."
"Of course," Faith said, now starting to feel her body relax. Maybe this wasn't going to be so bad.
"Do you mind then, Miss Black, if we ask you a few questions?"
"Not at all."
"Do you remember the location of this black castle or this citadel room you were locked inside of?"
"Not remotely," Faith replied, reaching for her wrist and pulling off the hair band. "But maybe you can trace it back to this. Our portkey."
One of the Wizards stood up and walked around the large table and collected the small black band.
"That was going to be the next question," the Wizard said with a shrug as he continued to read the scroll. He looked slightly uncomfortable as he read off the next one. "You and Potter were separated for hours, correct?" She nodded. "She has claimed she has no memory of the last few hours in the castle. We are intending on giving her back that memory based on the records you have given us."
Faith swallowed hard. Were they asking if they could use her memories to restore a particularly painful memory for Buffy? Quentin was hardly considered human, and he had been trying to kill him. He was a bad guy, after all.
Buffy could have gone down a lot worse, she decided.
But, what were they trying to ask her? Faith wasn't about to tell Buffy anything, although she knew the older girl would probably want to know what had happened.
She looked up. "What is the question?"
"This wasn't a question, but a mere statement," the Wizard said, giving her a kind smile. "We are going to use your records of what has happened to reconstruct her memory. We are going to ask if you would allow us access to your mind once more."
Faith instinctively put a hand to the side of her head. They wanted to mess with that again? Didn't they know the first time didn't go so well?
They were all staring at her now and she felt her body tense.
But she already knew the answer. "Do what you need to do," she said quickly. "I'd rather not have my mind all meddled with again."
"We understand."
Silence. If there had been crickets in this room, they would have been chirping by now.
"Is there anything you would like to add to the record?" the Wizard asked.
Faith moved her hand from her head to her left arm and paused. She really hadn't told anyone about the Mark, but she suspected they knew. If she showed them and asked them what it meant, perhaps there would be a way to get rid of it. She rose and approached their table, rolling up the sleeve of her cloak, and sticking her left forearm under the lights.
"We were wondering if you were going to tell us about that," the Wizard who'd been questioning her said, staring at the Dark Mark.
"Would anyone care to explain it to me?" Faith asked, quickly pulling her arm away. Many had risen to stare at it, and a few had reached out to touch it.
"It is the calling of a Death Eater," a Witch next to the Wizard said.
"Oh, lovely, so the next time you see me, I'll be wearing the whole Vader get-up, is that right?"
"This isn't the time for sarcasm, Miss Black."
"I don't think I was trying to be funny. I was just hoping someone was going to be a bit more honest about what's going on with me, because as far as I know, I'm still one of the good guys."
"You are," the Wizard said sternly. "Your counterpart, however, has done a questionable action according to this. She must be considered as otherwise."
"Why?" Faith asked, feeling puzzled as she sat down again.
"That Mark is an extraordinary one, meant to call its bearer to He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named when there is a call to arms. Considering you didn't ask for it and this Mark was passed onto you because of your, err, calling... we believe you to be safe at the moment. Miss Potter on the other hand spent a great deal of time invested in the dark arts, and we can only suspect the trouble that lies ahead when keeping her powers contained."
"There's just one problem with your theory," Faith said quietly. "We're both the same. It isn't one or the other. We have inner demons. Literally. And you can't contain our powers. There isn't some magical kryptonite that'll prevent us from doing something stupid."
"We thought as much."
"What are you going to do with her?" Faith asked uneasily.
"She is to be questioned in front of the courts," the Wizard said. "We have to ascertain whether or not she poses a risk to the safety of the school she is currently studying at or to the students she associates with. Considering that you are not a student, we do not have to worry about you. However..."
"I'm still a threat, aren't I?" Faith asked, looking at her knees. "I have close associations with Harry Potter, and this worries you. It worries me, too. But instead of locking me up in a cell or forcing me to go to a school and learn magic you know I won't be able to do, I have a suggestion."
"And what is this suggestion?" the Witch asked; she'd been recording almost everything Faith had said thus far.
"It's simple, really. I just have to go back to California and leave this country until He-Who-Blows goes down."
They Witches and Wizards exchanged a look. "Well, that is one possibility," another Wizard said quietly.
"It's my decision to make," Faith said quickly. "I just wanted to know if it would be doing the right thing for the right reasons. I don't know what you want to do with Buffy. I don't know if there is a death penalty in this world, and even if there was, I'm not sure she'd deserve it. The man she... killed took a lot of lives and many of them were associates of ours. I'm sure you read the reports on what was found at the Council. It wasn't a pretty sight. Like, ever."
"We understand why you would make a decision like this," the Witch said with a friendly smile. "We know that you do have a close relationship with the Potter siblings."
"I do," Faith said with a nod. "It's just that, well, Harry is someone I admire a lot. If going away keeps him alive longer, then I'll go away. As for Buffy, I wasn't able to stop her from killing Quentin. I might not be able to stop her from doing something deeply stupid if she does go all dark and twisted again. And, worse, if she does go back, my demon might get a calling. I don't want to put anyone in the line of fire from two demons, since one was bad enough. No... I'm benching myself for now." She took a deep breath. "And I think you guys just made my decision a little easier."
"So you have decided to return to California?" the Witch asked.
Faith nodded. "You got it."
"Very well," the Wizard said, finally setting the scroll aside. "I appreciate your honesty and your integrity on this matter, Miss Black. We are going to release you back to your family home."
"We must prepare ourselves for the next hearing," the Witch explained as Faith stood up, looking slightly put out about being shooed away. "We ask that you do not stay."
"I get it," Faith said as she stretched. An Auror came from the doorway and took her by the arm. "Thank you."
The Auror led her away.
- - - - -
Hermione was sitting in the Library reading when she saw Harry approaching her. She carefully marked her book and set it aside.
She'd been avoiding him for the past few days. Today was no different. Except today he'd come looking for her.
"What is it?" she asked, moving her feet from the chair across from her so that he could sit down.
"I was just thinking," Harry said.
"Oh, you do that often?" Hermione asked in a teasing voice as she carefully piled up her large stacks of notes.
"I'm really not in the mood," he said, giving her a strange look. He'd been giving her a lot of those lately.
"Right," she said, clearing away her Runes notes. "Is there some reason you were looking for me?"
"I wanted to ask you something," he said quietly, not looking at her.
She froze in the process of sticking her notes back inside her bag. "What is it?"
"She said you helped her," Harry replied. "How did you help her?"
Hermione shifted uneasily in her seat. While she'd been avoiding this for days, there didn't seem to be a point to ignore it any further. "I told her what she needed to do in order to find what she was looking for."
Harry looked at her with accusing eyes. "So, you basically told her how to go off and die?" he asked, a darkness underlying his tone.
"Well, I never thought she'd go as far as to take a human life, Harry," Hermione said defensively. "I thought it was maybe reconnaissance. Or maybe she was just trying to find out where they were, I don't know. I never thought she'd go that far."
He gave her a bitter look and Hermione felt something stir within her. Why had she avoided this for so long? "Why did you help her? Did you really want to hurt her? Or me?"
"Harry, I never wanted to hurt you," Hermione said, as the guilt came flowing back. "I didn't want to hurt her either. You're my best friend, Harry... if anything had happened to you, I'd--"
"So instead you told my sister how to gain powers and go off into a blaze of glory and get herself really, really dead," Harry deadpanned.
Hermione felt tears in her eyes and looked away. She didn't want to anger him further by seeing her cry. "As I said, I never expected it to go as far as it did."
"Well, it did," Harry said forcefully as he stood up, towering over her. "I don't understand why you did what you did, Hermione. I almost lost her, forever. It's not the kind of pain that goes away when you're drinking with your best mates. No... It kind of feels like drowning. That's how she died the first time, isn't it?"
Hermione felt her hands shake and refused to look at him. If she did, she would fall apart. "Yes," she said in a tiny voice.
"Why didn't you tell me when I asked? Did you feel like you could lie to me forever?"
She turned to him finally and he stared at her. "No," she said, her voice a bit braver. "I just didn't know how to tell you."
He glared at her a moment longer before turning away. "I trusted you, Hermione. I trusted you! I've trusted you for six years... and you couldn't even tell me that you gave my sister the knowledge to go off on some suicide mission to fulfill some senseless vendetta? Do you know what the Ministry is probably doing to her right now? She's scared... she is scared. How scared do you think her kind get?" His voice was rising and was starting to attract attention, but he no longer cared. "I don't know what's going to happen to her, but I don't know if I can look you in the eyes and tell you I trust you because you've hurt me."
Hermione couldn't say anything. She just watched as he stormed away.
- - - - -
Buffy was led into a different chamber than Faith had been. There were forty or fifty Wizards and Witches gathered in large, circular seats above her. She sat down in the seat they led her to, and she gasped when cold, golden objects slithered snake-like up her arms to hold her there.
This obviously was going so well already.
Calm down, Potter, she told herself. Just be cool, tell them the truth, and you'll get out of here. Maybe.
The atmosphere was much different than Faith's hearing. Everyone wore long, heavy looks that wouldn't have been out of place at a funeral.
Or maybe she had died and was really in hell. She squirmed slightly in her seat, which only caused her arm binds to tighten almost painfully.
"Miss Potter," a loud voice said, and she looked up. It was the Minister of Magic himself. Brilliant. Just what she needed to get herself really condemned. "You have been accused of breaking over a dozen Wizarding rules according to that of the Wizarding Code, including murder of an unknown Death Eater of personal interest, submitting under aged children at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry to the Dark Arts and other mystical powers, endangering the underage students with the Dark Mark and possible treason to the Ministry. How do you plead?"
This really was going to be a real trial, she thought to herself. She could have used a lawyer right now. Even Giles would have been useful, if not supportive. Instead, she forced herself to look up and said, "I suppose I'm guilty."
They were muttering again, some of them shaking their heads at her and frowning. Some looked even disturbed.
"We have your entire recount of the events on record," Cornelius Fudge said in a dark tone. "However, there are some inconsistencies related to the events in relation to the events observed by Miss Black. She has agreed that we should restore your memories of these events for a clearer image of what truly happened that day." He nodded to the Wizard next to him, who handed one of the four Aurors surrounding her a long vial. "This is treated Veritaserum, the truth potion."
Buffy took it without question. She had no intention of incensing the court further.
"Now, while your memories return, perhaps you would care to answer another question for us. Faith has implied that a student at Hogwarts was responsible for your actions."
"She was right," Buffy said. "This student told me about the spell I would need to use in order to summon the books that I'd need for the advanced spell work."
"This student will be dealt with by the Headmaster at Hogwarts," Fudge said quickly. "If you choose to maintain your silence about her."
"I do," Buffy said. "I'm the one on trial here."
"That you are," said a Witch to Fudge's left, who peered at the small-boned girl sitting below them all. "We have to decide on a course of action for you. Without Azkaban being as well-guarded as it once was, we have to choose an alternative solution to this problem."
Buffy barely heard her. Her memory was coming back.
There was a flash of silver and a war cry. Buffy let out a sharp breath as the painful memories returned.
"You're an idiot, Potter."
Buffy punched the one Death Eater she'd been fighting and quickly swung her way through another one. The sword swung in her hand as she leapt over her fallen victim and turned to face Quentin.
"If I'm still an idiot, at least I'm the one who's still alive."
She heard Faith's voice cry in the back of her mind, but it was already far too late. The sword had gone right through him. It had gone into the floor.
His face was one of surprise. After a moment, his eyes darkened as he started gasping and coughing. Buffy stared down at him with something like triumph.
"You both wear... the Dark Mark... when he calls for you... you will come... my death... is only the beginning..."
She reached for the handle and pulled it out of him.
Buffy opened her eyes.
"Did you take the life of a man, an unknown Wizard and former leader of your Watcher's Council?"
"Yes," she said, blinking. While the Slayer inside of her was secretly howling its success, her own insides were painfully twisted as she reminded herself of what she had done. There was guilt there, in her eyes, as she looked back at the court sitting above her.
"Was this man a Death Eater?"
"Yes."
"And did you take pleasure in killing him?"
"I am the end of you."
Buffy nodded as tears threatened her calm control. "Yes..."
"Even though he was a human being, you still took his life, even though you are who you are."
"Yes."
They were glaring at her now. Their faces had almost been friendly before. The open hostility was something she deserved, she knew, and she took it. She felt very alone, even surrounded by Aurors, none of whom could help her understand what she had done.
"Would you do it again given the chance, with or without your additional powers?"
"I would."
There was no doubt in her mind. Of course she would do it again. No matter how far it brought her down.
"Are we to understand that He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named has brandished you with the Dark Mark?"
Buffy rolled up her sleeve and held up her arm as evidence. "You would be correct."
"Right," said the Witch, marking something down. "And did you consent to having the Mark?"
"What?" Buffy gasped as others murmured their appreciation that she had asked the question so they wouldn't have to. "No! Of course not!"
"I find that hard to believe, Potter, even with the strongest truth potion."
This wasn't looking good for her as she swallowed her pride. Fudge stood up again and continued firing questions at her. After a long bit of silence, he called for deliberation.
Buffy was forced to sit in her discomfort, feeling as though her life really had come to an end. She'd been worried about such petty things like love and trust and stuff. But, when it came down to it, would she be able to look at herself and not hate who she saw?
The Minister had gotten to his feet again. Buffy felt her heart drop at the rage clearly imprinted on his face.
"When I first met you, Potter, I saw a child who didn't understand her place in the world. A little training would have you be a useful Witch to our cause. But it seems as though you have found another. There have been Death Eaters called in the same way, and even if they do kill one of their own kind, we have ascertained that you are a threat to this organization and to the institution you are currently being educated at.
"However, as the Headmaster and several of your peers have sent in letters and words of support, we cannot overlook these. Dumbledore has requested that you remain at the school until the end of term since he has flat-out refused to expel you. Why he hasn't, I don't understand. You carry the Dark Mark and a hatred that could threaten the stability of our world. You are as corrupt and insidious as those who have been tried before you, were found guilty, and imprisoned.
"There is no way you can tell this court it will never happen again, because there is no way we could trust that it wouldn't. Our verdict would usually put you within Azkaban for a life-sentence for even starting what you have done, but without proper protection, we have no way to guarantee the safety of our guards when matched with your power. We will return you to the custody of Hogwarts with the assumption that you will not leave its grounds in any way.
"There is also the matter of your future, which is now lying in the balance. Dumbledore came to me and said that you fancy yourself a vampire hunter. With proper training and mental tests, you can most likely take on that position. It is remote and solitary enough that you shouldn't place others in jeopardy when you do decide that you have to kill again. We think you would not be so choosy of your next prey, be it a Death Eater or a Wizard of power.
"We have one last course of action and it is a course that only one other Death Eater has chosen. I believe you know of whom I speak. While we cannot guarantee your safety or the safety of those around you, your powers of darkness could be put to some use and give us the knowledge that you are truly on our side, and not some evil, attention-seeking Witch who has vowed to knock this world down."
He paused and stared at her. She was looking up at him in disbelief.
"Were the Dementors in place, your life would belong in their hands now," he said. "As such, we cannot determine whether or not your powers will be used again and if they are, there will be grave consequences. We do not believe in the death of a person, but if your death would ensure the safety of thousands, so be it."
Buffy could barely breathe as she sat there, thinking over everything he had said. While he had accused her of being a Death Eater, he was giving her a way to prove her loyalty to the Ministry. She wanted to take that chance, no matter how much the Slayer inside of her was protesting it.
"Do I have a choice?" she asked, trying to keep the darkness from her voice. Fudge glared at her. They were all glaring at her.
"You are no longer the hero in our eyes, Potter," Fudge said deeply. "You have become our enemy when you have chosen to forsake the law of our world and create your own. This world is not your playground. You are not some chosen storybook queen who gets to live her life happily ever after. We have made the choice for you. While Miss Black has wisely chosen to leave this world, we believe you would never make that choice and I cannot risk you walking away and rallying other forces of darkness to our cause. You are a threat, Potter. Even you cannot deny that."
To deny it would be lying to herself. She knew this.
"Yes," she said quickly.
"Let it be known that on this day, the fourth of February, Elizabeth Anne Potter has been sentenced for the murder of a Death Eater and the breaking of other laws which include subjecting and endangering underage Witches and Wizards to Dark Arts and other black magic. Her punishment is that of returning to Hogwarts. She will be on suspension and will be apprehended should she try to leave the grounds again. After completing the four-month term, she will return to the Ministry and they will decide the next course of action. Mark it down that she does carry the Dark Mark and will be deemed a Death Eater until she has proven her loyalties to the Ministry and to the blood that she so vehemently calls Potter."
He stared down at her.
"We hope that you make your decisions wisely because we will not hesitate to use force if necessary. We have one savior of this world, we refuse to let you harm him. Even though you are a self-proclaimed hero and much of your support states this, we cannot forget or forgive the fact that you have gone against us once and because of your nature, you more than likely will again. I cannot tell you how serious these charges are. You are not above the law."
It was as though the three chimes had sounded. Buffy wasn't exactly shaking, but she wasn't thrilled either. She had expected something like this, but the severity of his words were hitting home. She hadn't really thought of herself as above the law. She had toed the line before, once or twice. But she hadn't crossed the line. Until now.
They were restricting her freedoms now. She was thankful, partially because going to jail seemed a little intimidating. She shuddered to think about her condition had the Dementors not gone to the other side.
"We are going to offer you one last choice. We understand that you will most likely be thinking and reliving the memories that your mind has so conveniently forgotten. If you wish to have them removed, we will do so."
"No," Buffy said, shaking her head. "I don't want them gone. I don't want to forget what I've done. I need to remember so that there won't be a next time." Her insides twisted at this and she forced the dark thoughts back.
"Make no mistake about this, Potter," Fudge warned her. "We will not hesitate to use you as an example for why we will not tolerate such actions against the Ministry. If you act up again, we will be even harsher."
She had gotten off quite easy was her way of thinking it. Restricting her to the Hogwarts grounds was hardly considered punishment. She wasn't going to be able to do much of anything except go to classes. No more trips to Grimmauld Place. No more excursions to Hogsmeade. Considering what Snyder had done to her after finding her over Kendra's body, this was almost laughable.
There was just one other detail they'd mentioned that bothered her. Faith.
"Can I ask what your verdict on Faith was?" she asked timidly.
The Witch recording this hearing gave her a scornful look. "She has decided to return to California. We support her in this decision."
Buffy sighed. She wished she could just up and leave, but no matter where she was, she would always be the bloody Slayer that murdered the once respected leader of the Watcher's Council.
"I have one request then before you return me to my cell," Buffy said, her voice low. She didn't want to ask any favors, but she loved Faith like a sister. "I would like to see her off. I know that I have no right to ask this, and I'm probably doing something stupid by asking, but, you know me. I usually speak before I think, or sometimes I act before I do..."
"We'll grant your request on the condition that you're accompanied and watched by Ministry representatives," said one of the Wizards in the front row. "That, however, is the only request we'll grant."
"By tonight your Headmaster will have explained your actions and the actions of your counterpart to the school," Fudge continued. "They will have some idea of what you are and what you have done. I quite imagine it'll be a more difficult time for you, but I think you'll be able to get through it. We will not tell them about the Dark Mark or the fact that you have been classified a Death Eater through the Ministry. And you alone will have knowledge of your punishment. Please remember that we will be watching your movements very carefully over the next few months."
He paused a moment. "I suppose knowing what you have done and remembering it and reliving it is punishment enough for one to be getting along with. Knowing that you are a harness for evil is probably enough to weaken the most strengthened resolve. But we know that your kind have a resolve unlike many others. If you are fit to be what you were chosen to be, you will overcome this." He gestured to the Aurors. "Take her back to her cell. She'll return to Hogwarts tonight. I am also requesting she be suspended from all school activities for one week, including lessons. She will spend her daytimes at the Ministry under psychiatric counseling. Remove her now. We have deliberations now."
Buffy stood up and walked out with the Aurors. Although her head was still held high, she knew that this was only the beginning.
- - - - -
By evening's end, everyone at Hogwarts knew that Elizabeth Potter was a threat. As much as it pained Harry to hear Professor Dumbledore speak of this, he knew he had to hear it from his Headmaster.
Most of the Gryffindors were appalled. They had come to regard Buffy on a level unlike many others, basically because she was a Potter. It was horrifying to hear about their heroine's fall from grace. She was as good as those rotten Slytherins, and they weren't winning any bonus points by jeering across the Great Hall.
When Buffy returned for breakfast the next morning, she met with her classmates. All but one turned their back on her.
"They say she's a murderer," one of the boys whispered, not bothering to keep his voice down.
"They said it's just a matter of time before she goes off and kills again," one of her roommates, Tess, whispered back, glaring at the Potter girl as she walked by them.
Walking through the Great Hall was nothing less than torture. There were more than enough whispers going around about the great Elizabeth Potter being nothing more than a Death Eater wannabe. If only they knew how close she was to becoming one of them, with the Mark on her arm and whatnot.
It didn't help that the same people who had asked her to sit with them before asked her again. Buffy hadn't been able to look at her brother yet. She accepted the invitation and sat with the Slytherins, although she was the only beacon of red in the vast green-and-silver crowd.
She watched as everyone started to leave for class. She had never felt more alone. It was just how it was in the beginning at Sunnydale. Sure, she'd had offers of popularity through Cordelia. She'd found her rock with Willow though, and her best friend wasn't there. Giles had always been supportive of her, even when Buffy had been expelled. Her Mother had been her strongest supporter yet. She felt oddly empty knowing that Joyce wasn't there to walk beside her this time. No, Buffy was truly alone.
She knew they had reason to fear her. The first time she'd seen herself in a mirror, she'd smashed the darned thing because she didn't like what she saw. It was her choice. She had to live with it now.
It didn't help there were rumors that Harry and Hermione had broken up and hadn't spoken to one another in a day or two. That was harsh. She really hoped Hermione would be let down easily; the girl didn't know how far Buffy would go.
She stood up when the Great Hall was finally empty save one person.
Percy Weasley.
He stood, waiting for her by the door. "I assume you were trying to make a statement by sitting with those Slytherins."
"Well, I'm the next Death Eater," Buffy said sourly; she was tired of playing atonement girl. "At least someone still wants me around."
"They're just afraid of what's to come," Percy said as they moved into the Entrance Hall. "They know what you are and it's frightening. And it would do you some good to stop feeling so damned sorry for yourself."
"If it's what I have to live with, then I'll try," Buffy said tightly. "Some of those people talking like that were my friends. I don't want to pretend that I'm not hurt by it, because I know I deserve it... it's just that... I don't know. I'm so tired of trying to fight this inside of me. Fighting against what they think I am is twice as bad now."
"I guess every action has its consequence."
"Yeah," Buffy said, her arms clasping her knees as she sat down. "I just wish I knew when it was all going to end. I can only be so sorry for so long. I have to live with the visions and the dreams... it's hard. Being turned away from is hard."
"Or maybe you're finally growing up," Percy suggested lightly as he sat down next to her. "You don't have a Watcher or friends to cover for you every time you make a mistake. This is your life now, and whether they accept it or not is their choice. You've already made yours."
"You're telling me."
"I am. Didn't you say you had a lover once who has spent the past hundred years making up for what he did? This is your second day. You'll get used to it. If you start feeling sorry for yourself and acting like everything is just normal, you'll never get over it. Keep that chin up, Potter. Or the Slytherins will be welcoming you with open arms and they'll be the only ones left."
He stood up and walked away then. Buffy sat pondering this for a long time.
He was right. She was acting childish, expecting others to take her hand and get her through this. She was going to get through this. She had to get through this. It had already cost most of her self-respect. She'd lose it all if she wasn't careful.
And there were many waiting for that to happen.
- - - - -
Chapter 50... a new beginning begins.
To the Readers / Reviewers:
This is almost the end of it. Just one little chapter left.
To the comments, I say...
StarBella -- You can't expect Buffy to really stay dead, can you? Nah, I knew she'd come back. I had this really neat scene planned where Faith would catch up to Hermione and ask her if she knew any restoration spells. Hermione would ask why. Faith would hold up the orb and Buffy would wail, "I want my body back!". Hermione would scream and fall backwards. Sadly, it didn't make the cut. There wasn't enough time for it. Draco will get what's coming to him. Truly, he will.
Kel -- I tried to make it up between them in the next chapter, too. I may or may not have succeeded. As for Buffy taking a trip into Slytherin-land, it's only a matter of time...
DarkAngelMali -- Thank you :) Buffy was given the choice to have her problems wiped from her memory, but she makes the decision to keep them. She needs to learn from what she's done. Painful, yes, but it's part of growing up. Every relationship has its problems and in this chapter we explored Harry and Hermione's a bit. It'll be explored more, later.
Panther28 -- I really hope it wasn't a bad surprise. I've known for a while now I've wanted to put a twist on things. I just didn't want it to be... bad. Where it goes from here is no one's guess... considering I haven't thought it all the way through yet!
sparky24 -- I didn't really switch Slayers. I just used Buffy for the more ironic part of it all and kept Faith level-headed (she threatened Quentin's life, too!). Buffy's going to soon discover that killing Quentin wasn't like killing a normal human being... he was a monster, a bad guy, and he deserved being put down. She just did it the wrong way and she has to live with it now. And another 50 chapters? Oh, God no. Maybe 25 or 30. But this story is a little more than halfway done now. Thank God. It's taken me forever to get this far.
Sabia -- you're the 700th review! I'd offer you all the sweets I have, but one, I'm not sure if you have the sweet tooth I do, and two, I'm not sure how fond you'd be of my goddaughter's cooking! I am fully going to rest and relax. I can't wait to be away from freezing cold Minnesota and on a nice warm island by this weekend.. it's uncanny.
KittyAngelGurl -- Nobody has a handle! And thank you.
melissa -- well, I have to give you some credit for saying what was on your mind. I'm just utterly amazed you read through all of the chapters thus far; if you hated it so much, why continue reading it? I just had to comment on my social life, however. My writing is done while I'm sitting here answering overnight calls at my job. Instead of wasting eight hours by doing nothing but twiddling my thumbs or playing games, I chose to write. I gave myself a deadline, so a lot of this stuff has been written for awhile. I am perfectly happy with the life I have right now. It's what happens when you live with an actual writer. So, I thank you for being honest. And, really, go enjoy your life.
miz -- I've seen sweet Draco and funny Draco and loveable Draco... it scares me. Literally. I just happened to like evil psycho Draco a little bit more.
joey -- yeah, I know. I'm trying to get away from it, too. I hope this chapter helped a little.
Last update: Thursday. And you have my thanks and eternal gratitude for reading and reviewing, just so you know.