"Sum of the Parts"
Disclaimer : Nope. Still not mine.
A.N. : This fic is winding down, but for the Get Backers, the night is still young and full of surprises /wink/. Thanks for tuning in and as usual, your R R is greatly appreciated.
ENJOY!
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Chapter 13 : Bump Ahead
As the 360 sped north on the wide, empty expanse of highway from Shibuya to Shinjuku, Ginji stood on the passenger seat with his body through the sunroof. Ecstatically, he threw his arms out to his sides and let the summer night air dry him off, feeling the salty-moist sea breeze from Tokyo Bay to the east cool his hot, flushed cheeks and rustle through his damp hair.
Ginji's stomach continued to growl, but no matter. Sukiyaki, here I come! He drooled and glanced at the toy lodged between the shattered windshield and the dashboard, thinking what a sweetheart Natsumi was for waiting and staying up late to feed him and Ban. He knew a stuffed animal wouldn't be enough thanks for all she did for them that day.
"Ban-chan! Let's get fried chicken later for lunch," Ginji yelled above the buzz of the Ladybug's whining engine. He shifted his train of thought figuring he could worry about thank you's later.
"– And a deluxe sushi platter for dinner!" Ban hollered back.
"– Oh, and steak, eggs, and blueberry pancakes for breakfast!"
"Ggggghhh..." The snake man slobbered and then shook his head. "Stop it, Ginji! You're making me lose concentration of the road!"
"Hee!" Ginji lost himself in illusions of food, Natsumi's cheery smile and days with Ban finally in good spirits.
Suddenly, out in the lamp-lighted distance he thought he caught a brief glimmer of metal. And a few metres after, another. Then as the car got closer, Ginji could clearly make out the ends of a white bandanna fluttering in the wind.
"Look! Pull over, Ban-chan! It's Shido!" Ginji exclaimed and waved his arm wildly. "Shido! Shido-nii!"
As they closed range, Ban muttered expletives under his breath and wrapped his fingers tightly around the steering wheel as if he were trying to fuse them together. He imagined what monkey roadkill would look like – a large, greasy spot festering and being run over thousands of times in the middle of the highway. His lips curved into a maddening jester's smile.
"Er, Ban-chan..." As if having read his partner's mind, Ginji peered down and almost thought he caught Ban step harder on the accelerator and turn the wheel ever so slightly towards the trudging figure. Surely he wasn't thinking of doing such a thing.
Still, that was Ban in the driver's seat.
"First Thread Spool and now the gorilla. Perfect," Ban complained, grudgingly honking his horn to announce his presence. "Is Tokyo really so small that we have to keep running into your annoying old gang?"
He swerved the car into the opposite lane, slowed down and passed the tall, hale man who was carrying three identical metal cases; two in his hands and one like a backpack. To the Get Backers' amazement, a fourth case was being pulled on its rollers by a large brown dog.
Ban parked on the shoulder and Ginji turned to greet the Beastmaster. "Shido! You finished your job, too?"
"Sure did, Ginji! Boy, am I glad to see –"he shouted back and then cut himself off. Blinking rapidly, Shido didn't know who – or what – the hell he was talking to. He stormed over to the Ladybug and angrily dropped the packages. For a split second, he forgot all about Madoka and secretly wished he, Ginji and Kazuki were all back in Mugenjou if it meant not having to see the former ruler of Lower Town look like a goddamn Goldilocks.
"Ginji..." Shido lamented. The blond smiled sheepishly and shrugged. His ire shifted towards the snake. "Did the bastard put you up to this?"
"Hey! Don't diss our techniques. I didn't put him up to anything!" Ban snarled as he drummed his fingers on the wheel acrimoniously. "You use your dumb animals on the job, we used our feminine charms."
Shido bent over and scrutinized the driver's cheeky bleached face and smudged, heavily painted dark eyes. He guffawed. "You too, then? Ha! You must've made a really, really scary chick – like Dr. Jackal in drag, hehehe."
Ban threatened to gnash his teeth to the gums. "For the last time, I'm not Akabane in a skirt, dammit!" He reached out an arm and pulled the beast man's head through the window by his medallion. "Look, Monkey Trainer, you going to stand there and be a fashion critic or are you getting in?"
"Sheesh! Settle down, reptile," he retorted, karate-chopping Ban's hand off.
Ginji exited the car and went over to his former lieutenant's side. "Don't mind him. He's been worried about his looks all night."
"Ugh! And you weren't?" Shido tore at his hair seeing the full damage of the Thunder Emperor's effeminization - the horror of knee-high socks, platform wedges and a white, ruffled pinafore.
Ban got out and sat on the hood of the 360. Lighting a much needed cigarette, he scoffed. "Why should he? Dressed like that, Ginji literally had girls – and men – falling at his feet."
"Ban-chaaan," the golden boy disagreed, cheeks going rosy. He quickly changed the subject. "Come on, Shido. I'll help you strap those cases to the roof.
While the two former Volts roped the four rectangular containers on top of the Ladybug, Shido couldn't help but inquire, "What happened to your windshield?"
"As if you don't know –"Ban growled skeptically.
"I don't."
"Your stupid sparrow did this."
"Umm... Actually, Ban-chan threw a rock at it and guess where it landed," Ginji snickered.
"Shut up, dork!"
Shido exploded into a great, booming laugh. "You couldn't leave well enough alone, could you? You're such a lame-ass."
"- And I have a right mind to charge you for encouraging it to seek retribution, ape man." Ban threatened.
"I did no such thing, you paranoid jerk!"
"Tch!" Ban then gazed inquisitively at Shido's haul. "Not bad, zoo keeper. And where did your lackeys happen to find these babies?"
"Hidden in a gang-controlled junkyard near here," he grunted. Then a competitive gleam passed over his steel-gray eyes. "From the looks of them, I'd say they're all torsos. Probably worth close to five million, you think?"
The brunette Get Backer's eyes matched Shido's shine for shine.
"Hmph! Well we have enough parts to make a complete robot. Plus, we've got all the heads. Six million easily. Beat that."
"Yeah, but mine's still bigger," Shido continued to bluster as he tugged at the ropes more forcefully.
"You ignoramus! Don't you know that size doesn't matter, but rather, it's how the parts are used?" Ban fumed.
"Heh. Easy for you to say. People who claim size doesn't matter don't have it to begin with."
"–And when you say 'it', what exactly are you referring to, baboon brain?" Ban jumped off the Subaru and bashed one of the cases with his fist, denting it.
Like a mongoose putting a cobra on the defensive, Shido dared his rival to strike first. Smiling, his gaze dropped. "What do you think?"
"Why you – " The two then grabbed each other's collars and butted spiky heads, sending them crashing onto the car hood.
"Now, now, guys! Let's not fight. We're all going to get paid a lot –" Ginji helplessly tried to break up what was turning out to be a contest to see who was the biggest tool. The poor lad still thought the issue was merely about money.
"Hey, Ginji! I hear a position is soon to open up in the Get Backers. Whaddya say we –"Shido turned his head while pinning Ban's neck into the side mirror.
Seeing his chance, Ban then smashed the Beastmaster's face into the windshield. "Ginji! Say goodbye to your friend here before he gets locked up in that prison called Madoka's mansion!" he bellowed. With a smug grin he knocked the top of Shido's head.
"We'll be expecting a wedding invitation tomorrow, okay?"
"Bastard!" he sputtered against the cracked glass. Suddenly, he stopped struggling and cupped a hand to his ear. "Wait. I think I hear screeching tires coming this way. Are you sure you guys aren't being followed?"
Whatever Ban thought personally of Shido certainly didn't affect how he respected the man's acute sense of hearing. He peeled his sparring partner off, pushed him into the car and scowled. "Crap! That's not possible! We covered our tracks well."
"Oh please, "Shido snorted as he crammed himself next to the metal cases in the tiny backseat. "How could anyone miss the sight of you two dressed like that?"
Ban reluctantly conceded he had a point. "Yeah, well, the faster we get back to the Honky Tonk, the better." He called out to Ginji. "All secure?"
"Yup." Ginji made one last check on the rope's slack and got into his side of the vehicle while his best friend revved up the engine.
But before he could shift into gear, Shido whistled and in leapt the tawny-coloured dog through the driver's side window, pouncing over Ban and settling in Ginji's lap.
"You've got to be kidding me!" the snake man roared before stepping heavily on the gas. "Where the hell did he come from?"
"He's the junkyard dog. I promised him a good home in exchange for helping me out with my load."
"I swear, Monkey Trainer, if that mutt humps my leg or isn't toilet trained..."
The dog barked in protest.
"He's not a mutt, dummy. He's a Belgian Malinois," Shido corrected.
"Gah! You brought in a freakin' attack dog? Are you insane?" Ban went ballistic and leaned as far away as possible fro the panting canine.
"Does he have a name?" Ginji giggled as the creature lapped at his face.
"The gangsters were calling him 'Akatsume'," The Beastmaster smiled, leaned over and gave the dog a rewarding pat. "Say, he really likes you Ginji. If you want –"
"No! No! No! Absolutely not!" the porcupine head screeched at the top of his lungs, knowing exactly where this was going. "We can't afford a pet, especially not one charmingly named 'bloody claw'!" He kept his eyes glued to the road, ignoring the indistinguishable whimpering that was coming from his side. He didn't know if it was Ginji or the dog doing it.
As Ban raced the Ladybug down the highway, closing into the ward limits of Shinjuku, Shido piped up. "You wanna hear something interesting?"
"No. Not really," the brown-haired retriever derided. "I highly doubt anything of interest comes out of that mouth of yours, Neanderthal."
The Get Backer's rival twisted his ear. "Well, you'll hear it anyway, snake boy. Get this, the goon I questioned at the junkyard claims our client actually sold the android parts to them fair and square."
"Sold? So they bought the parts?" Ginji asked while petting Akatsume on the head.
"So they say. At a global teleconferenced auction a few days ago it seems."
"Wait. If that's the case, then that means –"
"Nothing! That's total B.S.!" Ban insisted vehemently. Despite his stony expression, a vein began to throb in his temple and he nearly grazed a road sign with his car. "If our client sold the parts, then why would he hire us to get them back?"
"I know. That's why I didn't believe him." Shido threw up his hands in bewilderment. "It doesn't make sense at all."
"Yeah. 'Cause if these parts were paid for to begin with, then by us taking them, wouldn't that make us –"Ginji paused, bit his lip and wrinkled his brow. "- thieves?"
His partner laughed uncomfortably. "Heh. Like I said, bullshit."
"Utter nonsense," The Beastmaster nodded rapidly.
As her motor whirred noisily from the outside, inside, the Ladybug had never known such uneasy silence from the three loudest repo men in the business.
Ban sniffed the air around him audibly and deeply. His face contorted. "For goodness sake! I don't know if it's just me, but what the hell is that awful stench?" He glanced at Akatsume incriminatingly, who growled and bared his fangs back.
Ginji buried his nose in the dog's fur. "It's not him."
"I noticed it, too," Shido said, inhaling suspiciously using his sensitive olfactory skills. "In fact, I always smell lots of nasty stuff in this car. I'm just too polite to say anything."
"Polite, my ass!" Ban bristled as he lit two cigarette sticks and waved them around like incense. "He who smelt it, dealt it. It's probably your beasty pheromones stinking up my car. You lie around with your animals so much you're beginning to reek like the sewer trap of a zoo."
"You scumbag! I don't smell like that! And it was rank in here even before I got in!"
"He's right, Ban-chan. The odour –"
"Shut up! I won't have any of you insulting my Ladybug. She's been through enough abuse already!" he shouted while dangling the cigarettes on his lips. Despite the open windows, the vehicle was fogged up with pungent smoke.
"I'm pretty sure something died in here," Shido joked, holding his nose exaggeratedly. "A rat, most likely. That, or one of your sweaty, smelly socks is rotting in a corner somewhere."
"Oh, so that's where it's gone to," Ginji laughed. "I thought I lost one of my socks in the laundry last month."
The Beastmaster raised a non-existent eyebrow. "Anyway, I don't know how you two can live in this garbage bin. I feel like I'm going to contract tetanus just sitting on the upholstery."
"Who-ahhh! Such big words coming from someone who's a kept man in the mansion of an under-age girl," Ban grinned evilly. "Hey, she ain't much, but at least I get a ride from my lady, hehe."
"Mido!" Instantly, big hands clamped around the snake man's scrawny throat.
"Acckk... Get your grubby...cckhck... paws off me, chimp!" Ban released his grip from the steering wheel and clawed at Shido's fingers.
"The wheel! The wheel!" Ginji cried, trying to steady it with one hand as the 360 weaved in and out between the lanes.
Suddenly, a deafening rumble of rotor blades passed low overhead and a dazzling beam of white light filled the interior through the windows.
"What the – "The blond squinted.
The Jagan master regained control of his car, craned his neck and looked up through the windshield. "Great. The Yakuza's got a helicopter tracking us."
"Right now, walking all the way to the Honky Tonk doesn't seem like such a bad idea," Shido sighed loudly as he shielded his eyes from the spot lights. "I knew I was going to regret hitching a ride with you fools."
"What are we gonna do?" Ginji's eyes grew wide with concern.
And just like a midnight oasis arising from a sprawling mirage, a vast tree-filled park opened itself up to them on the boundary between Shinjuku and Shibuya wards. Ban pushed up his round glasses.
"We'll lose them in there," he yelled above the clatter of engines, rotors and an annoying barking dog.
"That's a public park!" Shido frowned.
"You have a better idea?"
"All right! Fine! I'll back you up." Irked, the Beastmaster unbuckled his seatbelt, leaned over Ban's shoulder and poked his head out the side window. The helicopter was now tailing some metres behind. Putting his thumb and index fingers between his lips, he gave out a shrill whistle.
Within a minute, streams of black appeared against the stark moonlit horizon and converged from all directions. Immediately, hundreds of bats flew directly into the helicopter's line of sight, blanketing its periphery in a cover of moving darkness.
Before the aircraft could pull up to avoid the cloud of bats, Shido roared, "Now!"
"Hang on!" Ban exclaimed. Flooring the pedal, he made a sharp left turn and launched the car into the park's raised sidewalk. The shock of the bump hurled Shido turbulently back into the seats – and the metal containers.
"Shit!" he screamed as he felt what seemed like a dozen steel corners jabbing into his body. Damn snake bastard could've at least waited for him to sit down first before doing that, he thought murderously.
Ban pushed the Subaru's engine into an agonizing whine as the car rushed up a gravelly incline and then dipped into a steep rocky embankment.
"B-b-b-Ban-ch-ch-ch-chan!" Ginji tremolo-ed, holding onto the whimpering dog for dear life.
The jagged, trench-like path sent everything not strapped in tossing and tumbling and bumping and grinding – which pretty much meant Shido and the parts.
With one last vault over a small boulder that sent the Beastmaster's head crashing into the car's roof, the Ladybug finally landed on a smooth, grassy knoll.
Shido hurriedly shoved aside the rubble of packages that buried him and buckled up. "Mido, you sonofabitch! If I didn't know any better, I would've thought you did that on purpose!"
"Then you don't know any better," he laughed.
The boys listened carefully as the helicopter circled above, its whap-whap racket growing fainter as Ban drove deeper into the bowels of the park. Despite killing the headlights, he maintained the Ladybug's urgent pace, kicking up chunks of sod and dodging trees - and the odd raccoon – along the way.
Ginji shut his eyes tight after a close call with a park bench. "Ban-chan, er... I think you can slow down now."
"Idiot! Have a little respect, will ya? You're obliterating public property!" Shido demanded. "Ease up. I think we've lost them already."
"We haven't lost anything until we emerge on the other side," the maniacal driver sneered. Then his mobile phone rang on the dashboard. "Dammit! What now?" Ban flipped it open and answered gruffly. "Yeah?"
It was Hevn. "Did you acquire the targets already?"
To his consternation, Ban thought he detected a hint of sheepishness in her voice.
"Mm," he grumbled as the two Volts crowded their heads around the phone. "Ditto with monkey boy."
"Shido's with you, then? That's good. I didn't think I could reach him. Where are you?" Hevn exclaimed with relief.
"Having a nice little picnic in the park."
"Stop being snide, needle noggin!" the mediator screeched. "We need to re-group at the Honky Tonk right away. Emishi and Jubei are already here." She paused. "Um... we may have a small situation."
"Excuse me?" The snake's cold blood began to simmer.
"I just got a job request from the Nakano family..."
"That family of famous scientists and professors?"
"Same. It seems their youngest son, Keiichiro has been missing for several days now," she explained. "He hasn't called, answered his phone, or been back to his apartment. Just upped and disappeared. His folks claim it isn't like him to do that."
"So, it's a police matter. What's it got to do with us?" Ban groaned impatiently.
"Well, guess what? Nakano Keiichiro just happens to be our client's student assistant and researcher."
The brunette Get Backer's jaw dropped open. He wondered if it was his birthday in some twisted alternate universe. He'd never received so many shocking surprises in just one day in his whole life.
"Hello? Ban-kun? Are you still there?" Hevn screamed into the receiver. "I know it's probably nothing, and most likely his disappearance has no connection to what we're doing, but still –"
"Fine! We'll be there in a jiff!" he boomed back and snapped the phone closed.
Shido plopped down into the back seat and grabbed his shaggy head frustratedly. "Oh God, you've jinxed us again you bastard! Could you please tell your grandmother or Aesclepius or whoever it is who cursed you that I don't want to be your collateral damage any longer."
"So we're not having steak and sushi today?" Ginji mumbled, his big brown eyes tearing up.
"Shut up! Shut up! You morons are over-reacting!" Ban howled as his fingers almost broke the steering wheel in two.
"Tch! An assistant mysteriously goes missing days before his boss skips the country and you don't find that suspicious?" Shido snarled.
"Mere coincidence, that's all. There are thousands of reasons why someone would disappear." No matter how cockily he tried to bandy about his case, the Get Backer wasn't convincing anyone – not even himself. A twinge of panic dulled the fire in his blue eyes. Speeding up the car, Ban ran over a metal rubbish bin and the bump jangled the parts once again.
"Watch it! Just because this job is turning into crap doesn't mean you should kill us all!" The Beastmaster complained as the duffel bag of robot heads slid into his lap. The drenched bag seeped water onto his khaki trousers, making it look like he just wet himself. Shido pushed it down to the floor. "Geez! Where did you fish these out from? The bottom of the ocean?"
"Hey! Careful! Those are the heads, stupid!" the spiky-haired dakkanya clenched his jaw and glared at Shido. Turning to his partner he ordered, "Ginji! Put that damn mongrel down and take out the heads from the bag. It's soaking up my car."
"But we're not supposed to open the packages, right?"
"Considering our client might be screwing us over, I think his ridiculous conditions cease to apply." Ban narrowed his eyes. "Now, do it!"
Reluctantly, Ginji took the bag and cautiously unzipped it. The fetid fumes that emanated from inside blasted straight into his nostrils.
"Ugh! I think we found the source of the bad smell." He held his nose while the dog at his feet suddenly yapped with excitement.
"I knew it! You fried the heads, dumbass!" Ban sighed. "Well, see if they're water-logged or damaged in any way."
Ginji took out one stainless steel square box, unlatched it and found its contents had been protected by a water-tight seal. An extraordinarily life-like female head lay nestled snugly in its insulated cushion.
"Wow! Cool! She looks just like Hevn, don't you think?" he raved and handed the box over to Shido. Enthusiastically, like a kid opening presents on Christmas Day, Ginji opened the next box and squealed with delight.
"Haha! This one looks exactly like you Ban-chan! He even has the same blue eyes." The blond shoved the case in front of his friend's face.
Ban studied the synthetic head and realized he was staring at an uncanny likeness of himself. So, naturally, he answered, "It doesn't look anything like me, idiot!"
"More like Akabane, maybe? Or is there a difference?" Shido chuckled as he took the case and shut it.
As Ginji's fingers grazed the last box, a strange sensation filled him. His eyes blinked quickly. "Didn't Hevn say there were only two android heads on the list? Why is there a third?"
"Who knows? We're lucky, I suppose," Ban snorted sarcastically.
The blond Get Backer shrugged and flipped the case open. The putrid odour overwhelmed the car immediately.
"What the hell!" Ban and Shido almost yelled simultaneously.
With a slowly processed reaction that was typically Ginji, he regarded the package in its vacuum-packed clear plastic bag tucked haphazardly into the case. He tried to figure out what was strange about the head with its skin in a sickly yellow pallor splotched with ugly gray and purple marks, and wide-open eyes glazed over in an opaque white film.
Holding his breath, Ginji picked the head out of the box and held it in his hands. Feeling its flesh cave in at his touch, Ginji winced, wrinkled his nose and Eureka! decided –
The head didn't belong to a robot.
"D-d-d-d-ead!"
NYAAAAAGGGGHHH!
He shrieked and tossed the offending object into the backseat. Turning chibi, he leapt into a dramatic somersault and plastered himself squarely on Ban's confused face.
The thing rolled down with a grossly squishy sound down the pile of cases, bopped Shido on the head and bounced onto his feet.
AAAAGGGGHHHH! The Beastmaster flailed his arms and legs wildly in stunned horror and inadvertently kicked the ball back into the front of the car, hitting the windshield with a horrible splat and landing –
"Ginji! Get off my face! I can't see!" Ban screamed. He took his foot off the gas, but before he could step on the brakes, the head ricocheted off the glass and landed – in his lap.
Then, as if it couldn't get any worse, Akatsume, the Belgian Malinois, sniffing out a chance at a juicy tidbit; growled, dove straight at the decapitated head – and Ban's crotch - and began to gnaw with gusto.
WAAAAAAAHHHHHH!
Feeling the attack dog's snout and fangs dangerously close to his privates, the snake man's voice would never sound as castratedly falsetto as it did at that moment.
Shido glanced out the windshield just in time to see a cherry tree trunk rush into full view.
"Look out!"
The trio's shouts came together into a rousing chorus before the inevitable cacophonic climax of tires screeching, glass shattering and the sickening scream of metal crunching against hard wood ...
... and then... silence.
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Why should Shido escape the wretched bad luck of the Get Backers? I just couldn't allow it, hehe. I would do the same to Emishi if I had the time. But since I don't, he should consider himself very lucky he escaped my wrath bwhahahaha...
/evil rant over/
Next chapter : Poor Ginji. Poor Ladybug. Oh, what the hell... Poor everyone. :D