Logan sped through the streets on his motorcycle, the only logic thoughts whipping through his mind purely animal and instinct.
He Hurt Marie. He Has To Die.
Those two thoughts revolved around in his head over and over again. There was no way he could ever turn back to the mansion now unless he had Magneto's murder to credit himself. Marie was still back there, safe and alive thank goodness, but she was hurting in a way no person should. She had been used and tortured and stripped of everything she had held close to her or treasured.
Logan narrowed his eyes as he shifted lanes, his grip on the handlebars becoming tighter and more insistent as the needle on the speedometer crawled higher over eighty. A truck horn blared behind him as the driver quickly jammed his foot on the brakes, trying to avoid the collision. The warning fell on deaf ears and Logan only speeded up, his mind intent on revenge and his heart breaking at the sight of the young girl back at the mansion with white streaks, which were also the mark of Magneto at an earlier time, and a terrified expression.
He knew what nightmares could do to you at night. Hell, he had them almost every single night, sending him screaming from his bed, claws slashing away at the sheets and pillows as he fell hard onto the floor. Marie didn't deserve to have what he hid from her, even though she knew, not only by her times absorbing him, but also by the life he led.
She shouldn't have to wake up screaming for life, thrashing wildly in the blankets expecting to see her worst fears alive in front of her. She would always see Magneto in the depths of her dreams and she would never be able to escape from him, even though now she was hundreds of miles out of his reach.
Rogue was such an amazing woman, with an entire future to look forward to without a shadow constantly daunting the glow on her face. Logan had been thrown into an unsure life with an unknown past; he spent almost all of his time glancing over his shoulders, never letting his guard down or letting anyone close to him. That life he'd live had been so lonely, so lost and despairing he'd felt like he'd been falling through a black hole and spiraling down into hard gravel. Marie was too good to spiral down that hole when she had so many people there to car for her. Maybe... maybe if Magneto was gone, it would ease (he knew only too well that his mark on her would never disappear; the scars would always be there, but at least they would heal) the painful memories.
Magneto would always be there, always a constant threat ready to swoop down and finish the job he'd started. She'd only escaped last time by chance. If Magneto was dead, she would be safe, and have at least one less fear to tangle with.
If Magneto was dead, she would be safe.
Logan's adamantium fists closed in on the grip even harder until he realized the metal was breaking beneath his fingertips. Even as he eased his grasp on the bars, the burning rage and loathing boiling inside of him steeped until he felt it fill his entire being.
He had promised to protect her.
He had intended for Marie to be the only thing in his life that would remained untainted and protected from the dangers of the world Logan himself knew so well. Others in his life - Jean, the team, everyone - he had almost expected to part with, had prepared himself for the time when that break would come. But, Marie... no. Marie would have come with him, and would have always had him to protect her and stand by her side, even if he was miles away. Marie was the only one he couldn't part from permanently. He'd always come back for her. Always.
And for the last year and month, he had actually lost her. Had seen her die with his own eyes, and watched her being buried underneath the turf. After that, he had left the mansion, thinking that he could never bring himself to see the place ever again. But, as he drank away his sorrow, and fought away his anger, he actually had moments when he would forget about her death and block it out, speeding back on his bike to see her, kicking himself in the ass for being away for so long.
The rides home in that state of mind scared the hell out of him later. He would always imagine the way she would smile when he walked through the door, and the feel of her arms around his neck as they greeted each other. The ache in the pit of his belly pulled so hard until he felt something would snap; at those moments, he realized how much he truly missed her over all that time. The horrible part was, he used to foolishly ease that pain by telling himself when he reached the mansion, he would see her again. That when he reached the mansion, he could hold her again and make sure she was all right.
But, then harsh reality would smack him in the face with an iron fist whenever he made it back to the mansion and remembered she wasn't there and why. Her room had been occupied by new students, and he had spent his day away from the school, loathing the fact that he had forgotten, bawling in the privacy of the woods whenever her almost completely faded scent made its way to his nose.
Not having Marie had killed him, and he had wanted to die, cursing his healing ability every time he faced the gates of death, only to be thrust back into the cold, lonely world full of going ons he no longer felt apart of. Literally, life had lost all meaning for him. But, she was back now - alive. And, turns out all this time, she had been locked away in some cage underground being experimented on like a lab rat in one of Magneto's sick experiments.
He would die to keep her safe.
He had died once, to keep her alive. And if he had to, had to risk his life again even while knowing for a hard fact that he wouldn't wake up in the end, he'd do it without a question. Because Marie was worth it. She was worth every damn thing he had to offer her.
She was all he had to live for.
Logan turned sharply to the right, entering onto the exitway leading into the heart of California. -
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Marie paced the room, wringing her hands in desperation. Charles wasn't there yet, but the team was, sitting solemnly in chairs circling the desk, and wondering quietly to themselves why. They all could have gone and kicked major Magneto-butt together. All of them saw how much Rogue had been affected by him and his needles. She spent all of her time outside, yet liked to hide beneath the shadows of the trees. Socially, she tended to avoid most people, yet at the same time craved conversation. There was always a shadow lurking on her face, and in the middle of a discussion she would always fall silent, a frown appearing on her forehead, and retreat into herself, falling back on painful memories.
Not only that, but Jean knew she was addicted. The woman couldn't help it; she had practically lived off of valium daily, and Magneto had given her just a few ounces under the maximum to keep her alive. Her withdrawal symptoms were terrible, and she suffered from nightly insomnia that made dark, heavy circles appear under her already haunted eyes. Her appetite had diminished almost to nothing, and it took hours for anyone to coax her into having something solid like a piece of bread or even fruit to eat. It wasn't that she didn't want to eat - she couldn't, and hadn't eaten on a normal diet in more than a year. Time wasn't hurrying to make her adapt or even feel secure in her surroundings yet.
And, now that Logan was gone, everything was far worse. She went from hardly eating to never eating, and it showed on her; there was almost nothing to her except for a barely there skeleton. She also slept even less - because of the nightmares, and because she was too preoccupied with waiting and worrying to remember what her basic needs were.
The worst about the whole entire situation for her, was the fact that she knew exactly where Logan would have gone. After all, she had escaped from an underground facility in Nevada, and Pyro had spoken of going further west. The only way you could be more west was to be in California. She'd even gone through some of Xavier's records of facilities in California they had either heard rumors about, or located themselves. Only two had been found that hadn't been destroyed by the X-Men, and she knew with a gut feeling that it would be closer south than north.
Charles was in cerebro now, trying again to pinpoint Logan's location. For some reason, over the past few days, he hadn't been able to locate the man at all, finding no type of signal pointing to him. Rogue had just gone about wild with fear, hoping that it didn't mean the worst.
The doors to the office swung open with an ominous creak, and everyone jumped up and rushed over to him as Charles wheeled himself through the doorway. He winced for a moment, finding himself attacked with thoughts and questions from every member of the team who wanted their minds read, so the subject wouldn't be brought up right in front of Rogue.
"He's alive," he said with some relief, and everyone couldn't help but breath out shaky laughs and relax a bit. His conclusive death had seemed more and more probable as the time had ticked away and still no sign of him had shown up. "However, he has a mind block put up against me, so that I don't find him."
The frown on the professor's face deepened as he wheeled himself behind his desk, contemplating quietly to himself for a moment before continuing. "He let it slip just for a moment today, but he must have felt me probing his thoughts for his location and rewalled his mind." He stopped the word, amazing' from coming out of his mouth. Very few people had as strong a will as Logan to wall him out of their thoughts for such a long period of time.
The questions still lingered on their faces, and Xavier knew what it was they wanted to know. "No," he said quietly, his expression looking a bit more worn than usual, "I didn't have enough time to locate him."
Everyone's shoulders slumped heavily, and Scott balled his hands into fists. "There has to be some way to find him! He can't have just disappeared without leaving some type of trail, cerebro or no." The team nodded in agreement, but suddenly stopped at the extremely somber expression on Xavier's face. His eyes seemed to stare blankly ahead into nothing, and a tear dripped down the side of his cheek.
"Professor?" Ororo asked, stepping closer to him and touching him lightly on his shoulder. "Are you all right?"
Charles swallowed, shuddering as he reentered his present world. "It's Rogue," he said quietly, and even as he said the words, the team looked around them, searching for her. "She's gone."