A/N: No I am NOT dead! I am still here, and I have FINALLY gotten around to updating! I am SOOOO profoundly sorry for taking so long -- you just don't understand how chaotic things have been around here for me lately. So, here is the much awaited next chappie -- it's full of drama, angst, fluffiness, and a few interesting twists that will be further explained in later chappies. Hopefully, you all like this and I can be forgiven for taking so long with the update. I am sorry and I will try not to ever let it take so long to update again! Rhianna XD
Chapter Four
Shape Of My Heart
Rikku spent much of the next few weeks acclimating herself to life in Bevelle. Things were done so differently in the city than they had been on Bikanel. She managed to find a job with a technology firm, and it kept her away from the apartment. Most importantly, it kept her from having to deal with Detective LaGuard.
Honestly, she didn't know what she had been thinking. She tended to be that way, though, ruled by her emotions. If a guy – any guy, for any reason – was nice to her, she had a habit of developing a crush on them. She could see now that she had been behaving ridiculously. No wonder Lulu Magis had patronized her. The man was nearly forty and he was just doing his job, after all.
Rikku had also started meeting new people. She had meant a somewhat nice guy named Gippal, and a quietly mysterious girl named Paine while at her job. It was nice, having friends who didn't know anything about her past, and who didn't ask a lot of questions.
Rikku found herself putting in long hours at work, and not getting back to Yuna's until close to nine p.m. Yuna would always be waiting up for her, no matter how tired she was from her own day at her internship.
One evening, about three weeks after Rikku had moved to Yuna's, the balance of their world began to shift. Rikku got home around nine-thirty, and, as usual, Yuna was sitting in the living room, idly flipping through channels on the TV, one of her many textbooks open on her lap.
"Rikku, good, you're home," she said when her cousin walked in.
"Did you think I wouldn't be?" Rikku asked, cocking an eyebrow.
Yuna smiled sadly. "No, it's not that – I was just – Do you not like it here?"
Rikku sat down, looking at her cousin as if Yuna had gone mad. "Why wouldn't I like it here?"
"Well, you're – you're never here. I don't know – I guess I've gotten used to having another person here, and then you got this new job, and you've just been gone all the time," Yuna said.
Rikku looked at Yuna sympathetically. "Yunie, it's nothing personal," she said brightly. "I like having a job, I like having my own life here. After the factory, and Dad and Brother – I felt lost for a while, you know? But now I have purpose again. I like what I'm doing. I don't like sitting here all day while you're off making the world a better place. And – well, I kinda embarrassed myself with Detective LaGuard. So I guess I just don't want to deal with that right now either."
"It's funny you should mention Auron," Yuna said slowly. "He hasn't been around in a while."
Rikku looked at Yuna blankly. "Yeah, so?"
Yuna smiled. "I think he feels the same – embarrassed, a little."
Rikku shook her head. "He didn't do anything wrong," she said, standing up to go into the kitchen to make a cup of tea. "Do you want some tea, Yunie?"
Yuna nodded, and stood up to follow her cousin. "Look, Rikku, you can stop trying to play it off. I know you were – are attracted to Auron. And it's okay. A lot of women are. And he's – definitely attracted to a lot of women." She laughed a little dryly.
"But I don't think he expected you. You're not like us Bevellians," Yuna told Rikku. "You're like – your desert. You're hot and fiery and passionate about things, and we don't get a lot of that here. This city is kind of cold and self-absorbed."
Rikku nodded. "I've noticed."
"What I'm saying is, that I think he got smacked across the face when you came along – and I think you feel the same way." Yuna shrugged.
"Yeah, well, what difference does it make? So we – smacked each other? Big deal. It's over now. I mean, I'm sort of dating this guy from work, and I really doubt that the detective has gone three weeks without – partaking in the sex," Rikku replied, setting the kettle on the stovetop to boil the water, not meeting Yuna's eyes.
"Oh. You're still stuck on that part, huh?" Yuna asked.
Rikku exhaled noisily. "Well – yeah. I mean, besides the fact that he's, like, a generation older than I am, he's also probably slept with more women than I've even ever met." She flopped herself down into a kitchen chair and sighed. "Yeah, he smacked me hard." She looked into Yuna's bi-colored eyes, hoping to find some answers in their kind depths. "Oh, what am I supposed to do now?" the young Al Bhed despaired.
"Oh, Yevon," Lulu muttered under her breath somewhere around midnight, while she and Wakka sat around the office, waiting for important documents to be faxed in.
There were other people in the espionage department of the PD, and they were working tightly with Lulu and Wakka to make sure every key player was covered at all times.
Gippal Solare and Paine Kildare were also in the espionage department, and they had been charged with keeping an eye on Rikku Sands, cousin of Yuna Summers, and suspected next target.
They had just sent word back to Lulu and Wakka, after overhearing some higher-ups in their office discussing Rikku's work schedule and departure and arrival times. Lulu headed for the phone.
"He's not going to be happy about this," Lulu told Wakka as she picked up the phone, before dialing the familiar number. "In fact, he's probably going to go fucking ballistic."
Wakka's eyes widened. "Why you say that?" he asked.
"He feels like it's his responsibility to make sure everyone even remotely related to Braska and Jecht are safe, because he couldn't keep them safe. I think he thinks of it as his penance for still being here."
"Okay, but why is Rikku any different than Yuna in this situation?" Wakka asked, still confused.
Lulu sat the phone down and ran a hand through her long dark hair. "Because, Wakka, for some reason Auron has connected with this girl. I think he sees something in her, that maybe he feels like he is missing in himself. I know he won't admit it, but every time somebody even says her name, he changes." She shook her head sadly.
"I've seen the guy go through a lot of women. Myself included. But I've never seen him act like he cares about one of them."
Wakka looked at Lulu closely. "Does it bother you that much, Lu?" he asked, standing up and walking toward her.
Lulu looked at her amicable partner and couldn't help but to smile. "I didn't think that it would. But he hasn't even seen her or spoken to her for three weeks, and yet he still smiles when anyone mentions her. And she's done nothing to provoke any of it. Silly me, I thought maybe I could be the one to change him, to finally make him care again. But I guess I went about it all wrong." She laughed dryly. "I guess maybe hopping into bed on the first date is not the best way to build a long-lasting relationship with a man like that." Wakka put his arm around Lulu's shoulder, and she sank against him. Rikku's here for a reason, Wakka. Doesn't matter the circumstances that brought her here. She's part of a bigger game now. If anything happens to her, I'm afraid Auron might absolutely lose it. And then, we're out our top detective, we're out everything we've worked so hard for over the past two years." She looked up at Wakka. "Yuna used to be our kingpin – but not any more."
"So you're saying, that anything about Rikku at all is to stay completely confidential, ya?" Wakka asked.
"Precisely," Lulu said. "We have to watch what we say about her. If any of Seymour's goons hear us talk about her – about how Auron feels – then we're screwed. It will be game over."
She looked back at the phone. "No calls to Auron about this. We have to do this face to face from now on." She grabbed her jacket and motioned for Wakka to follow her out of the office.
Auron groaned at the sound of the knock at his door. Opening his good eye, he peered at the alarm clock. "Two-Gods-damned-thirty," he muttered. He rolled over, careful not to disturb the sleeping redhead beside him.
Just thinking about his behavior over the past few weeks sickened him. After meeting and officially frightening Rikku Sands away from him forever, instead of working to change his ways, he had only become more embroiled in them. He didn't know what the hell he was doing any more.
He quickly pulled on a pair of jeans and walked to the door. Looking out the peephole, he saw Lulu and Wakka standing outside his door. Sighing, he opened up and let them in.
Lulu walked in and took one look around the apartment. "You've got a girl here, don't you?" she asked accusingly.
"What difference does it make to you?" Auron snapped.
"A lot of difference, actually," Lulu said. "Considering that the girl is Guado's next target." She thrust the fax from Gippal and Paine into Auron's hands.
"What the hell – how do they even know where she is?" Auron asked, suddenly feeling frantic.
Lulu read the expression on Auron's face easily. Fear. Terror. Panic. "Apparently, they're very good," she said coolly. "She needs more people on her, watching her. Gippal and Paine can't be with her every second of the day without drawing suspicion."
"Well, I'll do it," Auron said firmly.
"No, you won't." Lulu's tone was firm, even, and menacing.
"Why the hell not?" Auron practically thundered.
"Because, Detective," Wakka said respectfully. "If Seymour's goons find out that you have," he lowered his voice, "feelings for her, it'll only get worse."
"Feelings?" Auron roared. "I do not have feelings for that – girl," he muttered.
"Auron, really. Your expression when I told you that she was next was as easy to read as this fax," Lulu said derisively. "So just give up the act. The best way for you to keep her safe is to stay away from her. I'm calling the undercover squad on Gagazet, and I'm having Kimahri Ronso dispatched here. No one will expect him, and he won't be an imposition."
"Ya, there's an empty apartment near Yuna's, where he can move in and keep an eye on both girls, and Gippal and Paine have arranged for him to get a job at the technology firm," Wakka explained.
"Well, the Ronso is said to be the best," Auron admitted begrudgingly. "But I'd still feel better if I was involved somehow."
"Kimahri will report to you," Lulu said with a shrug. "The troop on Gagazet has been expecting this call for quite some time now."
"Well, then, I guess it's done," Auron said shortly. "Thank you for keeping me informed."
Lulu looked at the man sadly. "You need to talk to her at some point. After the Ronso is settled in, I will arrange something. We can't have her hating you on top of things. I know how important it is to you that she remains safe. Up until now, we thought Yuna was the key player here. We see now that we were wrong. Yuna was simply a tool. Rikku may know more about the Guado than any of us. She may be a threat to them. That may be why she is here." Lulu took a deep breath. "But nothing is going to happen to her. I swear to you."
The spies left Auron's apartment then, and he made his way to his liquor cabinet. He pulled his bottle of Jack Daniels out, and with a loud yell, threw it against the wall and watched it shatter, the amber liquid flying everywhere.
"You better keep that damn promise, Lulu," he practically growled.
Rikku liked Kimahri Ronso immediately. True, he was a different looking beast, but Rikku had seen several Ronso in her life, and they didn't frighten her. She greeted him right away when he entered the technology firm after lunch the next afternoon.
"Hi!" she said brightly. "You must be Kimahri! We heard about you this morning. I'm Rikku!" She held out her tiny hand for the great, blue-furred creature to shake.
"Nice to meet, Rikku," Kimahri said politely. He was thinking to himself how easy it had been to locate his new charge. He'd been worried he might have to ask around, and Kimahri didn't really like talking to people.
"So," Rikku said. "What made you decide to leave Gagazet?"
"Wanted to see more places," Kimahri said simply.
Rikku nodded. "I can understand that. I used to feel that way, too, when I lived on Bikanel." Her spiraled green eyes grew sad then. "Well, I'm going to get back to work. But if you need anything, just let me know, okay?"
Kimahri nodded and watched the girl go. So this is girl that needs protection, he thought to himself wryly. For own sake, and for Auron's. Kimahri had known Auron LaGuard for several years. He'd never known Auron to really care much about anything or anyone. But Lulu Magis had made it quite clear that LaGuard cared for Rikku Sands. She was not to be harmed.
Kimahri hadn't let Auron down in the past, and he wasn't going to start now. The only reason Auron had survived his mugging had been Kimahri Ronso. Auron, in turn, had come through for the Ronso on more than one occasion. But Kimahri was tired of seeing Auron looking so old, so tired, so completely devoid of emotion.
If this Rikku was the one who could light a spark in Auron, then Kimahri was going to do all he could to help her along.
Lulu stood outside of the technology firm that evening, waiting for Rikku to emerge. Lulu was wearing one of the many disguises that the espionage department had at their disposal for times such as these.
As soon as the pretty Al Bhed came out the door, Lulu grabbed her arm and led her to an old van parked in the alleyway behind the building. Rikku struggled against the stranger, fearing that whoever had killed her family had finally found her.
Lulu pushed her into the back of the van and slammed the door. The partition between the front of the van and the back, where Rikku was, was up, and the windows in the back were all blacked out.
Whoever had grabbed her started the van and began to drive. Rikku huddled up in the corner of the pitch-black van and began to sob silently. So this is how I'm going to die, she thought over and over again.
Suddenly, a small flashlight was clicked on, and Rikku saw that she wasn't alone in the back of the van. "Aur – Detective!" she cried when she saw him. She was so relieved that she almost through herself into his arms at that time. "What – What's going on?" she asked, trying to collect herself.
"There are things that I need to make very clear to you," Auron began. It pained him to see the look of fear that was written all over Rikku's pretty face. "It has come to our knowledge that you may be the next target." He saw Rikku's eyes widen and instinctively reached out and placed a hand on her shoulder.
"But we're doing everything we can to make sure that you are safe. I don't want you to be afraid. And I don't want you tell anyone about seeing me tonight," Auron said gently, but firmly.
"But ..."
"No buts, Rikku," Auron affirmed. "This is very important. These people – the ones responsible for Braska, and Jecht, and your family – they don't care about you or Yuna or Tidus. They care about me. I'm the last person who knows exactly who they are, the last one that can end this for good. But they will use anyone that they know I care about to get to me. Do you understand?"
"If you – if you know who they are, why don't you just end it all now?" Rikku asked, trying to remain logical.
"Because. They are spread all throughout Spira. If I find one group and take them down, another one will resurface and it will start all over again. I need to have them all surrounded, all pinpointed before the Department makes its move."
Rikku nodded. "I guess I understand – but, why am I next?"
Auron shrugged. "I really don't know. Lulu seems to think that maybe the Al Bhed know more about this case than they are letting on," he tried to explain it as simply as possible. He hoped she didn't ask more questions. He wasn't sure if he was ready to answer them.
"But I don't know anything about any of this! I know that Uncle Braska died during a sting, and I know someone planted a bomb in my family's factory, but that is all! So why – seriously why – are they targeting me?"
Auron took a deep breath. More questions. "I told you, they will use people I care about to get to me."
"Are you saying you care about me?" Rikku asked after several minutes of silence. The van lurched suddenly, and sent Rikku flying into Auron's arms. She rested there for a minute before looking up at his face. "Auron?"
He inhaled sharply, at the feel of her pressed up against him, the way she was almost imperceptibly shaking with fear. "Yes, Rikku, I care about you," he hissed. "I have from the very first minute I saw you. And I don't know why, because I know almost nothing about you. But I feel the strangest ..."
"Connection?" Rikku finished breathily. "You feel it too, huh?" She shook her head, and rested her cheek against his shoulder. "I don't know why, either, but I felt it that first night. I looked into your eye – and I swore that I could see my own pain reflecting back at me."
Auron didn't know what came over him at that moment, but he leaned down and planted a kiss on top of the blonde girl's head. "They don't know how deeply I care for you, but they know enough to make you next on their list. That is why I arranged to meet you here," he said softly. "We can't be seen together. I'm afraid that I don't do a very good job of hiding my attraction – or my affection – for you. I didn't see anyone like you ever coming my way. But I had to see you, to explain it to you, because it would do no good if you were to hate me."
Rikku fought back the tears that were threatening their way to the surface. She didn't know how things had gotten so messed up in such a short period of time. She hadn't known that you could feel so deeply for a person that you had only just meant.
She assumed that this meant that Auron was her soul mate. For them to both have the same feelings at the same time – feelings of such strong, incomprehensible emotional connections – must mean that it was destined. Her mother had often talked to her about soul mates when Rikku was just a little girl. She had always told her that someday, she would meet someone, and instantly feel as though she'd known him forever.
"What are you thinking, Rikku?" Auron asked after a long silence.
"That it's not fair. I've finally figured out what it is that I've been missing – and I could end up costing us both our lives," Rikku admitted.
"No one else is going to die because of this case," Auron vowed. "And when it's over, we'll figure this whole thing out."
"You mean, us?" Rikku asked timidly.
Auron chuckled softly. "Yeah, I guess that's what I mean," he said.
"It could take a while for this case to be over," Rikku mused. "Does anyone know where we are?"
"Just Lulu," Auron said.
"Lulu?" Rikku asked. Then a light dawned across her face. "Oh. She's driving!" She realized now that the van had come to a complete stop.
"This is where you get out," Auron told her.
"This is goodbye for now, huh?" Rikku said, feeling so melancholy and not understanding why. Nothing had happened between her and Auron, and yet she knew that when she left him alone in the back of this van, it would be worse than any breakup she had ever endured in her life.
It was the fear in her heart that she would carry until this case was over. She would never know when she would see him next – wouldn't know if he was alive or dead. Auron had clicked off the flashlight again, and the two of them were sitting alone in the dark.
"Forgive me," Rikku breathed. "I have to do this. Just in case ..." Slowly, she reached out until she touched his face. Closing her eyes, she leaned forward until her lips met his in a soft kiss that was filled with longing, aching, heartbreak, and promise.
Rikku pulled away first, tears slipping down her cheeks. "Be safe," she said quietly as she reached for the door.
Auron grabbed her arm and pulled her back to him for another kiss. "I will see you soon," he told her in a vehement whisper against her ear. "I'll move heaven and hell to see you again."
Taking a deep breath, Rikku opened the door of the van and quickly shut it as soon as she was out. She realized that Lulu had dropped her off in the alleyway behind Yuna's apartment building. As she walked into the building, her heart and head were pounding with a million different sensations.
She felt elated and uplifted after her time with Auron, but she also felt a strong darkness falling over all of them. She felt that death was very near, and that not everyone was going to be there in the end.
And now, all anyone could do was wait.