I don't own 'em. I wish I did. Well, wait, Kathy's my invention.... Does that count?
So this is what happens with too much cold medicine... or scotch....
What Dreams May Come
"Research. Could this case be any more boring?" Kathy poured her third cup of coffee of the evening and returned to her paper-laden couch. "Sweats are good." She coughed as she sat, a deep barking cough. "Damn cold. These old dusty files don't yawn help my lungs any." She switched on her stereo with the remote. Billy Joel's "Scenes From An Italian Restaurant" came forth from her speakers. She picked up a file and took a sip of her coffee. "Someday I'll be an EADA and I can have an assistant do all the boring crap." She sat her cup down on the table and opened the folder. Before long, her head was resting against the back of the couch and she was making soft snoring noises.
The cold medicine began to create an odd dream in her head. She was in a diner with bright yellow walls and deep burgundy leather bench seats in the booths. The walls were decorated with black and white photos of classic cars. Ed Green dropped a dime in the jukebox, and the neon lights on it flashed. He had a fitted white T-shirt and jeans on, like he came straight from a scene in Grease. Jack came and stood by Ed on the left, and a detective she had only heard of, Rey Curtis, stood on his right, both dressed like Ed. Their longer hair was slicked back, a single lock on each daring to break free, dancing on their foreheads. The song started, but it was Ed's singing, not the record, she heard.
Uptown girl
She's been living in her uptown world
I bet she never had a back street guy
I bet her mama never told her why
Ed was in front, snapping his fingers and walking towards her in time to the song.
I'm gonna try for an uptown girl
She's been living in her white bread world
As long as anyone with hot blood can
He spun around in a circle and opened his arms towards her.
And now she's looking for a downtown man
That's what I am
Ed pointed to himself with his thumb. Rey and Jack were singing the backup parts, and it struck her as funny, especially watching Jack trying to sing doo-wop.
And when she knows what
She wants from her time
And when she wakes up
And makes up her mind
Ed was almost at her booth.
She'll see I'm not so tough
Just because
I'm in love with an uptown girl
He dropped to his knees in front of her.
You know I've seen her in her uptown world
She's getting tired of her high class toys
And all her presents from her uptown boys
She's got a choice
Her singing co-workers all turned away and headed back to the rear of the diner.
Uptown girl
You know I can't afford to buy her pearls
Ed jumped up on a table. Rey and Jack stood on the seats of the booth.
But maybe someday when my ship comes in
She'll understand what kind of guy I've been
And then I'll win
They jumped down from their makeshift stage and came towards her again.
And when she's walking
She's looking so fine
And when she's talking
She'll say that she's mine
He clasped his hands over his heart.
She'll say I'm not so tough
Just because
I'm in love
Ed opened his arms wide towards her again.
With an uptown girl
She's been living in her white bread world
As long as anyone with hot blood can
And now she's looking for a downtown man
That's what I am
He kneeled at her feet with Rey and Jack right behind him.
Uptown girl
She's my uptown girl
You know I'm in love
With an uptown girl
My uptown girl
You know I'm in love
With an uptown girl
My uptown girl
You know I'm in love
With an uptown girl
My uptown girl
She blushed at the attention and laughed at how funny they all acted towards her. Graciously, she applauded their little show.
She squirmed around in her corner of her couch and woke up. She opened her eyes and looked around her apartment suspiciously. "That's it! I'm going to bed." She switched off her stereo and lamp and trundled off to sleep off her cold.
Jack set down his drink, feeling very buzzed. He picked up the remote and channel surfed a while, until he fell asleep with the remote in his hand. Ordinarily he would never have watched Mermaids but it came on the last channel he selected after he was asleep, and it seeped into his subconscious.
He was alone in a small theater, so small the stage was on the floor. The lights went out in the seating area, and a bright floodlight filled the tiny stage. Jack's eyes took a moment to adjust to the change in light. He could see six beautiful women dressed in matching styles of pastel dresses with crinolines under the skirts, and their hair done up in bee-hives. As his eyes adjusted he realized who they were – women from his life, either personal or professional, or both. Claire was back from the dead and dressed in blue. To her left were Shelley Kates in yellow, Sally Bell in pink, Diana Hawthorne in orange, and Abbie Carmichael in green. Then he realized who was in front – his current assistant, Kathy, in a peach dress. He knew she could sing, but as she began, her voice filled the room, and the other ladies sang back up to her. They swayed like bells to the music, but her gestures seemed to convey a message just for him.
Does he love me, I wanna know
How can I tell if he loves me so?
She clasped her hands in front of her face and looked up.
Is it in his eyes?
Oh, no, you'll be deceived
She shook her finger.
Is it in his sighs?
Oh, no he'll make believe
She waved her hands in front of her.
If you wanna know
Shoop, shoop, shoop, shoop
If he loves you so
Shoop, shoop, shoop, shoop
It's in his kiss
That's where it is, oh yeah
Or is it in his face?
Oh no, it's just his charms
She folded her arms as if giving herself a hug.
In his warm embrace?
Oh no, that's just his arms
She played with the sides of her skirt.
If you wanna know
Shoop, shoop, shoop, shoop
If he loves you so
Shoop, shoop, shoop, shoop
It's in his kiss
That's where it is
Oh, it's in his kiss
That's where it is
She looked at Jack in his front row seat, grinning at the scene before him.
Whoa, hug him and squeeze him tight
Find out what you wanna know
If it's love, if it really is
It's there in his kiss
How 'bout the way he acts?
Oh no, that's not the way
You're not listenin' to all I said
If you wanna know
Shoop, shoop, shoop, shoop
If he loves you so
Shoop, shoop, shoop, shoop
It's in his kiss
That's where it is
Oh, It's in his kiss
That's where it is
During the interlude, Kathy slid up to Jack at his table and leaned in slowly. He closed his eyes and he could feel the warmth of her breath on his cheek, then she pulled away and returned to the stage. He opened his eyes, let out the breath he had been holding, and sank a little lower in his seat.
Whoa, Hug him and squeeze him tight
Find out what you wanna know
If it's love, if it really is
It's there in his kiss
How 'bout the way he acts?
Oh no, that's not the way
She gently wrapped her hands around the microphone stand.
You're not listenin' to all I said
If you wanna know
Shoop, shoop, shoop, shoop
If he loves you so
Shoop, shoop, shoop, shoop
It's in his kiss
That's where it is
Oh, It's in his kiss
That's where it is
Oh, yeah it's in his kiss
It's in his kiss
That's where it is
Ooh, it's in his kiss
It's in his kiss
That's where it is
It's in his kiss
That's where it is
Ooh, it's in his kiss
That's where it is
Ooh, oh it's in his kiss
Oh, oh, it's in the kiss
That's where it is
That's where it is
His shoulders jerked him awake, cramped up as they were in the space between the back and the arm of the couch, and he looked around. Realizing he was alone, he got up and topped off his scotch. Wandering out to the hall just outside his door, he gazed out the little window, sipping his drink, and wondering what she was doing at that moment. "Research, probably," he told himself as he re-entered his apartment and closed the door.
Songs are "Uptown Girl" by Billy Joel and "The Shoop Shoop Song (It's In His Kiss)" by Betty Everett