A Pattern of Two Points
Disclaimer: FMA: still not mine. Ed and Roy: still don't care. Enjoy!
When Alphonse woke him up and told him how late it was, Edward snarled and thrashed out of bed. He hadn't slept well: the mocking look on Mustang's face haunted his dreams. "More advanced lesson" my ass. Uptight...
"Nii-san, when did you come home?" Alphonse asked with concern.
"Um," Edward absently scratched the back of his neck and willed his eyes to stay open, "Late. It was, like, three."
"I was worried about you." Alphonse was angry and a little hurt; Edward could tell by the droop in his metallic stance.
"I know. I'm sorry. I was in the library." Edward looked away when he said this and prayed for plausibility. He had been in the library. Most of the time.
"I was waiting a long time for you to wake up. We agreed to go together today." Alphonse looked impatient. "I bet your toast is cold."
The giant armor turned and trudged downstairs, with a moderately miffed Alphonse inside.
Right. They were going to work together today. They discussed it yesterday morning, which now felt like the Stone Age.
Edward got up, showered and dressed in a rush, then ate cold toast standing up. He could tell that today was going to be horrid.
He trudged with Alphonse to the provisional library. Alphonse decided to work on one of the main reading tables. Edward promised to join him later and went down to his basement lair. His head was going to explode from the pressure of what had happened yesterday. It didn't matter that he had only had 4 hours of sleep, or, well, it did matter, but it wasn't the only problem.
The problem was, he could still feel Colonel Mustang's touch. And he was having worse than usual problems with his pants being too tight. He prayed that the results wouldn't be visible, but it was throwing off his already worn concentration.
He opened up some of the government reports and The Guide to Ishbalan Soil Composition and took out his notebook. There had to be a way to chase the Colonel out of his head with facts.
Three hours later, Alphonse came downstairs to find Edward drooling on his arm and on the blue and gold cover of Known Mineralogical Variances in Amestris.
Alphonse resisted the temptation to draw a quick array and shift Edward's chair and desk into a cage. Edward was tired; he was snoring lightly, which meant he was deeply asleep. Alphonse looked at the thick piles of books and reports spilled across the table and piled on the floor and hoped that his older brother had been able to find something in the masses of paper and that it had been worth staying in the library so long last night.
Shifting his attention back to his sprawled, drooling, snoring brother, he tried to think of a way to wake him up without being transmuted or blown up. Edward could be touchy if awakened suddenly, especially in unfamiliar surroundings. So Alphonse stood at a safe distance and called his name until he jolted upright, knocking several books onto the floor and generating a good cloud of dust.
After he sneezed and rubbed his eye, Edward looked up at his younger brother. He felt better after the rest, although he was confused from waking up without remembering falling asleep.
"Nii-san, it's time for lunch." Alphonse said, holding the lunchpail he had packed for Edward.
"Thanks, Al," said Edward, touched by his little brother's thoughtfulness.
They walked outside and sat on a bench under a tree. Edward scarfed down the salami sandwiches, tomato, apple and chocolate. Alphonse pulled grassblades out of the ground and threw breadcrumbs to the finches that gathered around them.
"I dunno, Al," said Edward, leaning back on his elbows on the grass and stretching out his legs, "those birds look pretty fat."
They did, especially the one which was having trouble flying directly into the tree, and had to fly in stages from ground to railing to bush to tree. Both brothers laughed and watched.
"Isn't that Colonel Mustang," Alphonse asked, glancing across the street.
Edward went from languor and ease to rigid attention in a flash. Colonel Mustang stood on the far side of the road with a pretty brunette woman. She had curly hair and a nice smile; Edward recognized her from the dispensary. She put her hand on Colonel Mustang's arm and he leaned in with an attentive look on his face.
A red veil filtered across the world as Edward Elric, the Fullmetal Alchemist, prepared to lose his shit.
Luckily, Alphonse Elric, his younger but larger brother, recognized the signs of Edward Elric losing his shit and stopped him. "Nii-san, what are you doing?"
Edward slumped and wished he could transmute his anger into something better. Like poison darts! No, like smirking superiority. It was bad enough that the Colonel wouldn't let him close to him, and that he couldn't talk to Alphonse about it, but now he had to watch him flirting with women, too.
"Al, um," Edward searched for best explanation without lying, "Don't you think it's unfair that the Colonel always has a new pretty girl? He never keeps them but he's always chasing one, anyway."
"How is that unfair, Nii-san?" Alphonse turned his broad, lantern-jawed face to Ed, "The girls don't seem to mind."
Edward sighed. It was unfair if you wanted to push the pretty girl aside and have him look at you. Or maybe not. But just not at the girl.
"But that's too many pretty girls for one person!" Edward said. "He's hogging more than his fair share!"
Edward didn't wait for an answer but stood up and dusted the grass off of his pants. "Okay. That was a great lunch, Al."
Edward could hear Alphonse smiling. But then Alphonse asked, "Nii-san, why do you care that the Colonel is talking to girls?"
He stopped short and turned to look at his younger brother, still planted on the ground. Alphonse didn't look at him. He always forgot how well Alphonse knew him. Damn.
"I don't really. I just feel sorry for them because he's playing with them." Edward crossed his arms and willed himself not to tap his toe. He looked away into the distance as though the whole topic bored him.
"Yes, you do care," retorted Alphonse. "It didn't use to make you angry."
"Well," Edward said coolly, "People change. Maybe I changed my mind."
"Fine," huffed Alphonse, "Don't tell me. I don't care."
Alphonse turned his broad metallic back on Edward and watched the finches fighting over the last of the sandwich bread crumbs. Edward dropped his arms to his sides.
"Al..." Edward began, wondering whether any secret was worth hurting Alphonse's feelings. It was bad enough feeling like a stranger to himself, but Alphonse was the closest friend he had.
"You like him, don't you." Alphonse posed the quiet question and turned back to face Ed.
"Al! I..." Edward started a lie and then stopped. "I don't know," he said, bangs in his face and chin almost on his chest. "Mostly, I hate him."
Alphonse nodded. Often he understood things without their being said and he knew what not to ask. He also didn't really care about the reasons, he just worried about Edward's feelings. He sat next to his brother until they decided to go back to work.
The afternoon was productive, which put some solid ground under Edward's feet and made the day seem less useless. Edward lugged the best books up from the basement and worked elbow to elbow with Alphonse until sunset. They found historical sources for changes in mineral composition near Ishbala and planned to survey those sources and make calculations based on distance. It wasn't a complete picture by any means, but they had at least made a good start.
Then the librarians announced that the main reading room would close in 15 minutes. Edward rolled his shoulders and then pushed his automail arm and then his flesh arm across and into his chest to relieve tension. He coiled and uncoiled his spine, twisting from side to side. He'd been sitting far too much and training far too little lately.
As he and Alphonse were cleaning up their workspace and returning books to the circulation desk, Edward saw Jean Havoc coming towards them.
"Havoc!" said Alphonse in a delighted voice. Havoc raised his arm in greeting.
"Hi Al. Ed." Havoc said. Edward looked up and waited.
"Fullmetal," Havoc said, and Edward knew instantly what was next, "The Colonel would like to see you in his office."
Edward nodded with a downturned mouth.
"He wants to talk to you about the path of your research," Havoc continued, shifting uncomfortably at the young alchemist's scowl and at his own unfortunate knowledge of the circumstances.
"Nii-san, you go. I'll go shopping. I don't mind. It's always easier without you." Alphonse said. He felt the tension and tried to put a good face on things.
Havoc smiled at Alphonse and then looked back at Ed, who was staring at the table.
"Okay." Edward stood up reluctantly. He followed the tall military officer out of the building, lost in thought.
When they reached the familiar fourth floor left office, Havoc let Edward go in and then closed the door behind him. Edward turned to protest and saw something like regret on Havoc's face. Edward turned back toward the window. He forced himself to walk to the Colonel's desk.
Colonel Mustang was seated in a chair with his back turned to Edward. He was looking out the window, idly rubbing his hands. Occasional sparks came from the fabric of his glove, but no flame.
"I thought we should have a talk," Mustang said and turned to face Edward. Edward stood rigid and glowering, a few feet from his desk.
"About what?" Edward said, making an effort to unclench his jaw. All of his anger had taken up residence in his teeth.
"About my inappropriate behavior last night," said Mustang. "About restoring the situation to normal."
About your anger, he thought, and my responsibility.
"Don't you think there's a pattern if you behave inappropriately more than once?" Edward asked.
Mustang appraised him coolly and made a mental note not to underestimate the hot-tempered young man.
"Certainly," he said, "but a pattern of two points is incomplete and can easily be changed."
Edward snorted and tossed his blond forelock in suppressed fury.
Mustang sighed. He knew Edward would be difficult and he wished he were a more patient type. He blamed himself for the stupidity and difficulty of the situation, but he was trying to find the best way out. He had to keep in mind that, although Edward was a brilliant alchemist with a grown man's marching orders, he was only fifteen, with all of the physical and mental confusion the age entailed. And he was stubborn, as stubborn as an old boot.
"Ed, I'm trying to say I'm sorry," Mustang said, his familiar use of Edward's name causing a surprised golden look to flash his way. "Any sort of familiarity between a commanding officer and a person under his command is inappropriate. Especially when that person is fifteen. I shouldn't have let things get out of hand."
Edward laughed once brokenly and Mustang looked up. "Weren't things more 'in hand' than 'out of hand?'" Edward's downturned face was hidden behind a screen of blond hair.
Mustang colored but refused to let himself be baited. "I can't transfer you from my command," he continued, "so, I will be sending you and Alphonse on a routine mission to the West for a few weeks."
Edward's head snapped up and he glared at Mustang. Finally, I have his attention, Mustang thought.
"So you think you can just send me out of your way? What? Do I get in the way of all of your girlfriends?" Edward hollered and gesticulated.
The look in Mustang's eyes stopped him. "Edward, my private life and the women I see in it are absolutely none of your business. They have nothing to do with you."
"Well, they have very little to do with you, either." Edward countered.
Mustang's eyes narrowed, "What's that supposed to mean?"
"You don't seem to keep any girl around very long," said Edward, pretending to look at his nails but realizing he had gloves on. "You collect one and then move to another."
"Let me repeat that that has nothing to do with you," Mustang bit off the words, "And I won't talk about it further."
"Oh, what, it has nothing to do with me, when I have to watch you flirt with that new girl from the dispensary, after..." Edward blushed in anger.
Mustang was also silent, calculating what would be gained, what had been lost.
Mustang looked up finally with a forced smile that looked more like grimace, "Well, maybe we should just find you a girl your own age."
Edward questioned the carpet, "Find me a girl my own age?" His eyes flashed up angrily and his voice swelled in volume, "Are you joking? Do you think anyone understands what I've been through, much less someone my own age. I don't even know anybody my own age."
"Well," Mustang went on, as though he hadn't really heard him, "What about that blond girl from Rizenbul?"
"W-Winry?" Edward asked. "She's like my sister. And besides, I can't go out with her: I need her to fix my automail and if we fought, I'd be screwed. Literally. Besides, I think Al has a crush on her."
He looked up, "Why are we even talking about something this stupid?"
Mustang said in a light voice, "Well, there's more than one girl in the world. It just takes a little dedication."
While Edward stared at the carpet in sullen rage, Mustang concluded, "Anyway, I'm not here to solve your dating problems, Fullmetal."
"Mustang," the rasp of Edward's voice snagged all of Mustang's attention, "You are my dating problem."
And Edward looked up, his amber eyes filled with a heart-rending mix of anger and hurt, confusion and something close to pleading. Mustang closed his eyes.
Head bowed, Mustang said, "Ed, I'm too old for you."
Edward said, "Well, maybe I'm too old for myself."
Then Mustang flashed a wicked grin, lifted his head back up and said, "And besides, I'm too tall."
"Who's so short they'd fall through the cracks in your floorboards if the carpet didn't strain them out???" Edward howled.
Jean Havoc snickered in relief as Edward stormed out of the office in a black rage and slammed the door.
That night, when Edward was sitting in the living room and Alphonse was sitting beside him on the floor, packing, Alphonse asked, "Ed, how does it feel to like someone?"
Edward abruptly stopped spacing out. He didn't think he was ready for this conversation but he owed it to Alphonse to try.
"Um. Well, it's... it's like you're really happy whenever they're around, but you're sad too, because you know they'll leave, all at the same time."
Alphonse sighed. "I feel that way sometimes around Winry, but... I don't know what it would feel like if I had a different body."
Edward tried to smile. "In this case, I think sometimes it's easier not to have a body."
Alphonse nodded thoughtfully, "That's one good thing."
Edward turned back to the window, eyes brimming with tears, not sure for whom or what he was crying.