Chapter 3 Ekans resembles a carrot
Poliwhirl sat on a rock, its face expressionless. It stared off into the distance, no emotion showing. Poliwhirl looked down at the pond. A lily floated by on the shining blue water, the blue the same hue as Poliwhirl's skin. Young immature Rattatas piled on top of each other as they tried to get a peek of Poliwhirl through the grass. Poliwhirl spotted, them, and stood up and made his hand into a fist. His eyebrows curled into an angry expression. The Rattatas ran away, extremely frightened. Poliwhirl sat back down, and stared off into the distance. His thoughts were unknown to the Pidgeottos flying overhead, as Flying types are not Psychic.
"GEODUDE!" Poliwhirl turned his head in surprise, and his eyebrows curled again.
"Poli!" The first time Poliwhirl had spoken in days. The Pokemon in the nearby trees scattered in fear. When Poliwhirl spoke in anger, no one wanted to be near it.
"Geo, geo geo!" Geodude laughed. Geodude floated out of nowhere, and flicked Poliwhirl on the head.
"Poliwhirl!" Poliwhirl warned Geodude to get away. Geodude laughed,
"Geo, geo geo!" Poliwhirl used Hydro Pump on Geodude. Geodude just stood there, smiling, and it danced in the water, enjoying it.
"Geo, geo Geodude!" It said blissfully as the water did not weaken it at all, and strengthened it.
"BLISSEY!" Blissey said.
Get out of here Blissey; I am trying to write! "Blissey," Blissey pouted.
Poliwhirl turned so red in anger, a Pokemon expert might have mistaken it for a shiny Pokemon. No one did this to Poliwhirl.
"Geodude!" Geodude threw rocks the appeared from thin air at Poliwhirl. Poliwhirl dodged them. "Geo....DUDE!" Geodude floated up to Poliwhirl, picked him up calmly, and sent Poliwhirl into deep space.
"Geo geo!" Geodude laughed as Poliwhirl flew into orbit.
Ekans looked around. Geodude still had not come. Ekans worried of her friend.
"Ekans, ekans!" Ekans called. "Kans," Ekans sighed. 'Geodude passes by every day, where is he?' Ekans wondered. A blueberry hairspray sandwich covered with rocky road ice cream with sliced banana peel sprinkles appeared on a plate in front of Ekans. "Ekans?" Ekans sniffed the sandwich, and took a bite. "Ekans!" Ekans liked the taste, and ate the rest of the sandwich. A fake puffin doll that was stuffed with pencil lead appeared out of the atmosphere and picked Ekans up somehow. It flew into the air, and Ekans squirmed. "EKANS! EKANNNNNNS!" Ekans screamed for help. A jet airliner passed, and with one last "Kans!" Ekans was sucked into the jet engine. A little boy inside the plane saw this out of the corner of his eye. He saved and turned off his game boy that he had been playing ever since he had gotten to the restaurant in Katmandu. Billy, who was sitting in the aisle seat, told his parents that he had to use the lavatory, and he unbuckled his seatbelt. Billy walked to the back of the plane, and pulled an oxygen mask out of a container. He took a parachute from a compartment, and got some magnet-plungers out of his backpack. Billy jumped out the window of the plane, and closed the door. No one noticed. Billy stuck his magnet-plunger onto the plane, and climbed over to the roaring jet engine. Billy was deaf. Billy threw a boomerang into the air, and the boomerang spun around into the jet engine. The engine stopped going. Billy climbed into the jet engine, and grabbed the chopped up Ekans. Billy turned the magnet-plungers off, and pushed himself off the plane.
Dertanp the Donphan walked along, waving its trunk happily.
"Donphan, don, phan, phan, phan," it sang. Iaz the great scientist walked along its side. People passing by stared at them. This might have been because Iaz the great scientist tripped over every fire hydrant on the block. Iaz the great scientist's shirt patterned with cherry pits also could have been the cause for this. Iaz and Dertanp stopped at a house, and Iaz the great scientist unlocked the door with a key. Donphan and Iaz the great scientist walked into the house. The house was filled with cherry pits. Iaz the great scientist closed the door, and turned on a light.
"Pits," Iaz the great scientist began, "I have brought to you your vicar." Iaz the great scientist pulled the seventeen and two thirds pits out of his front shirt pocket, and laid them on a rostrum. The cherry pits shined a great white, and cast bright rays all over the place. Iaz the great scientist and Dertanp covered their eyes to shield them from the dazzling light. The rays cast over the millions of other cherry pits in the room, and all the pits came together. The light went away, and Iaz the great scientist took their hands and trunk off there eyes. A humongous cherry pit floated in the living room. "She's beautiful...," Iaz the great scientist whispered.
"Don, phan!" Donphan shook its head up and down, indicating the homo-sapien term known as 'yes'.
Bellsprout and Horsea played together by the river.
"Horsea, horsea!" Horsea spit water onto Bellsprout.
"Bell, bellsprout!" Bellsprout wiggled around, shaking off the water. "Bellsprout!" Bellsprout playfully shoved Horsea into the river. Horsea bobbed up, and said,
"Horsea, horsea!" Horsea smiled and danced around. Bellsprout danced and smiled also. "Bellsprout, bellsprout!" It said. The two pokemon were having a great time. A Charizard flew into the scene, and burned them both to a crisp for fun. Horsea sank into the river bottom, to later be eaten by a passing Gyrados, and Bellsprout was reduced to ashes. Charizard laughed at the two, and flew away. Charizard was evil and gruesome, as you probably guessed.
So, what is this Bulba Mansion of Cherry City on Pit Street you're talking about?
"Uhh..." Officer Jenny stared at Charles.
"Listen, I have more important things to do, so you better not be playing a trick on me," Officer Jenny said.
"Oh no, not a trick, you see An Old Man told me the whereabouts of the pond,"
"Wait a minute, what pond?" Officer Jenny asked.
"The one Metapod told me about. Anyway, An Old Man told me the pond was at Bulba Mansion of Cherry City on Pit Street."
"I'm sorry, but that doesn't exist. You may want to try the pond that in the nearby Laakruse Forest.
"Thanks, Officer Jenny, bye, see you later, your so helpful, goodbye, sayonara, OK," Charles ran out of the police building into Laakruse forest. The forest was dark and spooky.
"Gee, its so dark here, if only I had a flashlight or Mole-trace, or Chur-ee-zam or Tee-fly-shin or some fire Pokemon to light the way," Charles said. Charmander popped out of its Pokeball.
"Charmander, char!" Charmander said, pointing to its tail.
"Get back in your Pokeball Charmander, its too dark and dangerous out here for you and I'm trying to think of a way to light the way." Charles returned Charmander, much to Charmander's dismay.
"Hey, wait a minute," Charles realized. "Charmander can help me!" Charles let Charmander out. Charmander was happy his trainer was not completely brainless. "OK, Charmander, run into the town, and buy me a flashlight, here's some money." Charles gave Charmander some money, and sent it off into town. Charmander sighed, and walked off into town.
"Charmander can get back to town safely because it can see with its flame tail," Charles said to himself.
Chapter 4 The pits
Billy opened his parachute, and he floated softly to the ground. Billy looked around him. He saw a capable glue container lying on the dithering ground in front of him. Billy picked it up, and glued Ekans back together. Billy sprinkled a mixture of gunpowder, pencil shavings; ground corn flakes, sandpaper sand, dregs, and sliced parsley on Ekans. Billy then poured a mixture of cranberry juice, peanut butter oil, sap, Feraligatr water, water collected from inundations and hurricanes, and gold pieces into Ekans mouth. Ekans eyes slowly opened, and then opened all the way. Ekans hopped up with energy.
"Ekans, ekans!" It said disgustedly. This meant, "Yechh! That stuff tasted horrible!" Ekans spit on the ground to show this to Billy. Unfortunately for the plant Ekans spit on, Ekans had spit out poison. The plant died, which wasn't too good for the world of herbology. This was because this was the last existing plant of the Mucarrus Polarus Forwutrus Polis Sapien. Billy picked Ekans up.
"Ekans, come with me," Billy said to Ekans. Ekans, who was confused, (about why his stripes had been blue last morning but now green, but not about how a blueberry hairspray sandwich covered with rocky road ice cream with sliced banana peel sprinkles sandwich tasted good and how a fake puffin doll stuffed with lead carried him into a jet engine, or how he came back to life, or why he hadn't thought before he destroyed the last Mucarrus Polarus Forwutrus Polis Sapien in existence), allowed himself to be carried by Billy from the dithering field they were in into a volcano where they were nearly almost eligible to win a chance to meet there untimely demise.
The massive cherry pit spoke.
"This may be a fluke, pie ham more water." Iaz the great scientist gasped.
"Dertanp, this creature is so superior he speaks in perfect code! I must understand him! Do you?" Dertanp shook its head yes. "OK, what did it say?"
"Don, donphan, don, donphan," Dertanp the Donphan said. This translated as, "Luke, I am your father." Iaz the great scientist scratched his head.
"I got it! The oversized kerasion kernel said 'more pie ham and water would be a fluke.'!" Donphan shook its head no. Iaz the great scientist hooked a translator to the pit. The pit spoke again.
"Pie Cyndaquil break clover the curled."
quoteThe translator said in a robotic voice,QBcode I will take over the world/code/QB/quote
"Good, good," Iaz the great scientist said. "But quit the robotics, computer." Iaz flipped a switch on the translator.
"Moo pit church, the nose pen fun sand pie Cyndaquil sue miss," The pit said. The translator proceeded to say normally,
"Together, the chosen one and I will do this." Iaz the great scientist asked the pit,
"Who is the chosen one?"
"Moo pot task tea, sue par the plate my tent fist," The cherry pit said. The translator translated,
"Do not ask me, you are the great scientist." Iaz the great scientist and Dertanp the Donphan fell down as in the anime. Iaz the great scientist stood back up.
"Oh great one, please stay here while I find the chosen one for you."
"Should eye knee saw," The computer said.
"Good idea," the translator translated.
"Goodbye," Iaz the great scientist said, and left, tripping over Donphan who was still on the floor.
"Charmander, char!" Charmander returned to Charles' side. Charmander handed Charles a blue flashlight. A blue colored Sunkern appeared out of the sky, and fell onto Charles' head. Sunkern hopped off. Charles lay on the ground, fainted. "Charmander, charmander!" Charmander said worriedly as he shook Charles. "CHARRRRRS!!!!!" Charmander Flamethrowered Charles.
'Maybe we should change Charles' name to Crel-ash,' Charmander said, looking at the pile of ashes that was Charles. Charmander had an anime sweatdrop. Charles magically stood up, without a spot of dirt on him.
"Good job Charmander, I knew I could count on you," Charles said. Charles returned Charmander to a Pokeball, and shined the blue flashlight. The flashlight's light reflected on the pond in front of him. "Hmm... I wonder where the pond is," Charles said. Charles walked into the pond, and tripped over a white Geodude. Charles fell face first into the water. Geodude picked Charles up, and was about to seismic toss him, when Geodude had a better idea that involved poker playing and a year. Geodude set Charles down.
"Geodude," Geodude said.
"I'VE BEEN WAITING ALL MY LIFE FOR THIS MOMENT! I CAN'T BELIEVE IT! A WILD POKEMON! A REAL WILD GEODUDE!" Charles screamed. "Geodude," Charles said, "I am going to cap— wait a minute, I just thought I'd say the word poetry. Poetry, poetry, I like the word Poetry, don't you?" Geodude stared at Charles. Charles realized that he didn't know how to capture a wild Pokemon. "Uhh...Geodude, you just wait right there while I go find someone to tell me how to catch wild Pokemon," Charles said, and with that he ran off. Geodude shrugged, and sat in the pond waiting.
Billy jumped into the volcano's crater, and a Charizard flew beneath Billy. Ekans wrapped itself around Billy's neck tightly, afraid that it would burn. Billy suffocated, and fainted on the gruesome Charizard. Charizard flew off into the sunset, which burned them all up because as you might know, the sun is quite hot. So much for Billy, Ekans and Charizard, looks like those threads have been burned up! Get it? Burned up? HAHAHAHAHA...
We are extremely sorry. We could not continue this Chapter, for the author has been temporarily mugged and placed in an insane asylum. Don't worry, you may have a new chapter...when he regains normality.
The writer, entitled with the nickname 'Imakuni's Arcanine', which is a name we at the insane asylum cannot understand the meaning of, have gone crazy, and have locked ourselves in a padded room with a straightjacket. The author, seeing his chance, escaped using his trusty question mark to free himself, and Fire Blasted his way out of the asylum. He, being a dedicated writer, (hint, hint), has written this chapter. This proves that only people at The Pokemaster's message board and hopefully anyone else who goes to this message board or reads FanFics at the Pokemasters, have the substantial not to die from this confusing nickname.
Chapter 5 Armageddon
Poliwhirl passed Billy, Ekans, and Charizard in their journey to the sun.
"Poli, Poliwhirl!" Poliwhirl waved hello to Billy, Ekans, and Charizard, although it is a mystery why Poliwhirl could speak, let alone survive in deep space. It is a 'sub-mystery', if you will, (I will you to write my will, but will you?) why Billy, Ekans, and Charizard's ashes floated out of the sun's orbit, floated down the earth, resting on a certain model of a statue of a flight simulator that simulates flying through the space coordinates Poliwhirl is currently at. The model, which rested in its proper place in the metropolitan museum of art, (in the Egypt section), had a glass case around it, with a sign reading,
DO NOT TOUCH
Mysteriously enough, the ashes slipped through a crack in the glass and landed on the model of a statue of a flight simulator that simulates flying through the space coordinates Poliwhirl is currently at, and into the exterior of the model. This does not seem to have importance, as it is unimportant to the story. Nonetheless, (which shouldn't be a word in my opinion, just like 'Pseudoantidestablishmentarianism'), the reader may find it interesting enough that a Bellsprout walked by the model. The reader also may find it more interesting that the model exists, and is so expensive and precious, is that the real simulator, and the real statue of the simulator, have been lost. The simulator can't be re-built, for it is extremely hard to program those coordinates, and only one person knows how, but unfortunately that person has flown on a dragon into the sun.
Charles ran into someone's house.
"HI, HOW ARE YOU, WELL ENOUGH CHIT CHAT, HOW DO YOU CATCH WILD POKEMAN? OOPS, SORRY, I MEAN MON, I ALWAYS DO THAT WHEN I'M EXCITED AND IN A HURRY," Charles yelled. He waited, and yelled the exact same two statements again.
'Hmm...,' he thought, and he walked over to the stairs that supposedly led to the second floor. Charles fell through a trap door that was placed in front of the steps.
"Ahhhhhh," he said shortly, calmly, and softly as he fell through an eternal blackness. He landed softly on concrete. "Ow," Charles commented as he rubbed his back that was in pain.
"An interesting notion," came a voice from a chair. The thing sitting in this chair was blocked from view. "How interesting of you," the voice continued, "to comment your simple yet complex statement."
"Yeah, yeah, whatever, how do you catch wild Pokemon?"
"That," the evil sounding voice said, growing louder, "is of no importance." The chair turned around. Charles might have gasped at the sight if his mind wasn't distracted so much. A massive encyclopedia sat, stood, whatever you call it, in the chair. "BWAHAHAHAHAHA!" the encyclopedia laughed. It's pages shook as he laughed. Charles might have had an anime sweatdrop if he was paying more attention.
"Hmm, the person talking must have been a psychic Pokemon or something and teleported away, oh well, I'll look up what to do in this encyclopedia," Charles said, paying no heed to the laughing encyclopedia. Charles walked over to the chair, and opened the encyclopedia.
"GUARDS! ARREST THIS FOOL!" The encyclopedia cried as Charles opened to the 'H' section.
"H, h-o, h-o-w," Charles said to himself as he flipped through the encyclopedia. Millions of airplane tickets rushed in and picked up Charles. Charles closed the encyclopedia as the plane tickets formed a flat surface, grabbed his leg, and flew away. The encyclopedia followed somehow. "Oh wow, a real flying carpet!" Charles said excitedly. He sat cross-legged and pulled out an Indian flute type thing, and played an Arabic tune. The airplane tickets threw him into the pit of great danger: The pit of passports! If you think that was bad, they were diplomatic passports! Charles rubbed his back again. "Ow," he commented. The diplomatic passports glared at Charles. They hadn't eaten for days, and they were hungry.
"BWAHAHAHAHAHA!" The encyclopedia laughed as it looked over the pit at Charles. Charles stared at the passports. Charles stared at the pit's high walls. Charles looked up and stared at the encyclopedia. Charles carved the word 'cherry' in the dirt on the pit wall with his Indian flute. The cherry pit, being a cherry pit, became much smaller, and Charles climbed out.
"Now," Charles said, "To get some... SLEEP! Boy am I George Bushed!" Charles said, (which was the totally tubular new saying, can you dig it?), and fell asleep on top of the cherry pit.
Donphan sniffed all over the neighborhood.
"Found... the chosen one... yet?" Iaz the great scientist asked groggily with a yawn as he, with red eyes, slumped over Donphan asleep.
"Donphan," Donphan said, shaking Iaz the great scientist off of itself. A few minutes of snoring and silence passed. Iaz the great scientist stood up at approximately three hundred fifty-two thousand, thirty seven hundred twenty-six light years per nanosecond.
"WHAT IS IT? WHO IS IT! NO I CAN'T.... NOT THE," Iaz the great scientist yelled. "Oh," he said.
"Donphan," Donphan said, meaning, "It's only 3:54 in the afternoon, and we've only been searching since 10 a.m." Iaz the great scientist did not understand Pokemon language. Iaz the great scientist pointed to the sky and asked,
"What's that?"
"Don, donphan...," Donphan stated, meaning, "I'm not falling for that stupid 'made you look' joke again. Oh well, I guess I'll make you happy," Donphan looked in the sky. A giant music stand floated through the air. "DONPHAN!" Donphan cried in fright.
"Made you look!" Iaz the great scientist said laughing. "Donphan? Hello?" Iaz the great scientist's laughing stopped. He turned and saw that Donphan had fainted. The giant music stand fired red makeup at Iaz the great scientist. "I'M BLEEDING...," Iaz cried as he held his side in pain where he had been hit by the lipstick.
"Not good...," Dertanp (who had waken up) said. Iaz the great scientist stopped the drama, stopped clutching his side, and asked,
"Did you just talk?" Donphan used rollout on Iaz the great scientist.
Poliwhirl floated in deep space. An asteroid flew by, about to crush the world in a year. Poliwhirl had a mission: to warn the world of the immense danger that was going to happen in a year. The asteroid had stealth technology, rendering it invisible to radar. Poliwhirl tried to get back to Earth, but you have to be going pretty fast to get out of orbit. Poliwhirl sighed. A Psyduck floated by, holding its head, and it yelled,
"PSY-AYE-AYE!" Poliwhirl stared into space as the duck Pokemon floated out of view. After a short moment, Misty floated by.
"NO PSYDUCK, WE AREN'T IN THIS STORY EITHER!" Misty yelled. Poliwhirl watched Misty float out of view.
Charles woke up. Charles yawned. Charles sat up and looked around him. He was in the air, floating above millions of cherry pits.
codeThe chosen one/code they said robotically in unison. (Millions of voices sound very weird saying the same word) codeWe have come to take you to our father, whom you shall take over the world with/code they said. Charles lifted up a finger and opened his mouth, and a passing jet airliner smashed into him.
"OOF!" Charles said, smashed against the plane's tip. The tip was about three cents, and I'm sure there is also a story about three cents. Of course, three cents isn't a very good measurement. The cherry pits were sucked into the plane's engine. The engine slowed, then stopped altogether. The plane fell, the cherry pits were chopped up, and the plane fell some more. The people inside the plane, (who were only two, because it was a test flight, for someone still in training, and he failed this training session, which caused him to become an evil scientist, make a time machine, go back in time, but unfortunately, the time machine caused him to turn into an encyclopedia. This encyclopedia wanted revenge on Charles for making him fail, and the plane tickets he had collected in his training helped him get revenge), jumped out with two parachutes, and fell safely into someone's sunroof. The driver turned to them.
"Geodude," the driver said. The other passenger in the front seat agreed,
"Charmander, char." A rough translation is,
"We were on our way back to The Pond to see if Charles has figured out how to catch wild Pokemon yet."
"Yes, we were."
As for the cherry pits, they fell onto the ground creating a giant crater. Charles, who was somewhat glued to the plane, peeled himself off the plane, and fell onto the roof of an observatory. He fell through the roof, and crushed the telescope, (which was the only telescope in existence that could see the coordinates that the deadly asteroid was at, and the maker of this telescope left his secret of how to reach those coordinates, (which all scientists had a problem with, because of an unknown reason, (which is true because the unown were causing the problem),), inside many parentheses) before any scientist could look through it. Charles rubbed his back, and asked the scientist who walked in to look through the telescope,
"How do you catch wild Pokemon?"