Chapter 6 Mextranit
The Module External Xiphias Transmogrifier Rotating Application Neon Intimate Teleporter is a simple machine, long since the days of simple streetlights that operated simply turning colors which prevented blind creatures from driving adapted by workers at toll gates. Because a number on a license plate is boring, the creators of the Module External Xiphias Transmogrifier Rotating Application Neon Intimate Teleporter decided to make sure that all license plates changed, especially if they had no pattern. For example, if a license plate read 9876-351, anyone could calculate quickly that the first digit minus the second gets the numeral one, the fourth digit subtracted from the third gets one, the second part of the license plate's first digit plus its third digit minus the second digit of the section equals one. Take all three ones, multiply two of them, and with the two ones left over subtract one from the other, and you get a nice clean zero. If the license plate had read 9876-352, this would not have been possible, therefore the license plate should change to 9876-351. If a car or another vehicle travels through a toll booth, the license plate must change or feel the wrath of the dreaded Module External Xiphias Transmogrifier Rotating Application Neon Intimate Teleporter, which is termed by the more fearful of it, 'the thing'. It also is called the Mextranit. Drivers become good friends with there license plates, as license plates have a sort of friendly personality. If you resist the power of 'the thing', you may be sent to jail, or worse, sent to Professor Oak. This case is what happened to a misfortunate driver of a four-wheel drive. This man, known by everyone besides his daughter as 'Jack'. His daughter, Diane, called him by his real name, Shockrolandagepoimaclandscapeprose Dailyracterventurequotathesaurusummary Choralandioriginotationebulart. His name used to be Sir Ooleon, but he changed it long ago. He is, or was until he was sent to Professor Oak a gym leader.
When Geodude and Charmander returned to the pond, they saw that no Charles was there. They played poker, and somehow Geodude won every time until Charmander Flamethrowered the cards in frustration. They looked around the pond for something else to do.
BAAAAM! A crash was heard. Charmander yawned and walked over to the sound. Geodude followed.
"Bell...," a voice said from under a crashed steaming giant tuning fork.
"Geo, geodude," Geodude said, lifting up the mutilated tuning fork and helping the Bellsprout to its feet.
"Charmander, char," Charmander said, and it lifted up a crashed huge steaming microphone. The top of the microphone opened, and a horsea popped out.
"Horsea...," It said, falling to the ground. Charmander woke the Bellsprout and Horsea up by using Fire Blast. Bellsprout and Horsea stood back up, but fell back down when a Diglett fell from the sky onto them. Geodude and Charmander ignored the two Pokemon that were squished by the Diglett and turned there heads to the sky for inspection. Six Digletts fell on Charmander, causing him to also be buried under Digletts. Geodude looked at Charmander, and laughed,
"Geo, geo geo, geo!" Geodude stopped laughing when nine-hundred sixty thousand two hundred thirty seven Digletts fell on him. Geodude seismic tossed all the fallen Digletts back into the air, then smiled. "Geodude!" It said proudly as it flexed its muscles. Bellsprout, Charmander and Horsea lightly clapped, but seized their applause when all the Digletts fell back down on top of them. Geodude stuck his head out of the pile of Digletts, and started to climb out, when a Snorlax fell onto them. A Meowth and Slugma fell onto the pile, pushing them underground. Fortunately, they had fallen into Geodude's underground hideout, where there was food, water, and most importantly, a cable television with six million channels. They sat on a couch and watched TV, because they were blocked by sleeping Pokemon. They did this for approximately one year.
Iaz the great scientist woke up chained to a panel, a strange apparition shaped as a helmet attached to his head. Iaz the great scientist was gagged, which Iaz the great scientist had a preference to say with two syllables. He also pronounced syllables sill-ab-ulls. Iaz the great scientist looked around the room. It was a big room, with a transparent roof that opened up. Many machines were attached to the wall, and he saw Donphan operating some of them. Donphan turned to Iaz the great scientist, made a face like , waved its trunk, and said,
"BWAHAHAHAHAHA! I am the evil scientist Donphan, and I shall take over the world! What do you have to say about that," at this point he made quotation marks by moving its trunk in a manner that a human would move its index and middle finger to signify quotation marks, "'trainer'? BWAHAHAHAHAHA!"
"Mmmmmf, mmm, mmmmf," Iaz the great scientist said. Donphan laughed, and pressed a button on the wall. The roof opened, and lightning struck in the sky. The sky suddenly turned dark and rainy, even though it was twelve o' clock noon. Donphan held its trunk in the air and laughed crazily. Iaz the great scientist did not show any sign of nervousness or fright, he was as cool as a Ditto transformed into a Delibird's ice. A lightning bolt struck a lightning rod, and the energy surged into
"You call?" No, get out of here Lt. Surge! "Yes, sir! Sorry sir! Goodbye sir!" anyways, the energy surged into the machine installed on Iaz the great scientist's head. Iaz the great scientist wasn't electrocuted, because a can of liver blocked its way. Iaz the great scientist ate the liver, and magically became extremely strong. Iaz the great scientist ripped himself off of the panel he was chained to, and seismic tossed Donphan into orbit. Donphan waved hello to Poliwhirl.
"Donphan," he said.
"Poli, poliwhirl," Poliwhirl said. The scene returns to Iaz the great scientist, and he holds a can of liver up to the screen. Scientist music plays, and he sings,
"I'm smart and strong forever, 'cause I eats me liver, I'm Iaz the great scientist!" The U.S.S Anne passed through the building and blew its foghorn twice to go with the song, which suspiciously was similar to a jingle in a cartoon named 'Popeye the sailor man'. Iaz the great scientist was sued for copyright infringement, and he lost the case. He was sentenced to one minute of community service, which the giant cherry pit successfully completed for him.
Because the scientist refused to tell Charles how to catch wild Pokemon, Charles continued on his way, unaware of the impending danger that awaited him. He began to walk out of the observatory, although little did he know that a wall of knives awaited him on the other side of the door. The encyclopedia's write-on-page (as opposed to write-on-hand or right hand man, or more politically correct, woman,) a paper clip named zip, (named this because a synonym for paper clip is fastener, a synonym for fastener is band, a synonym for band is posse, which party is a synonym for, followed by the synonym for that, participant, than member, followed by associate, connect, fasten, and a synonym for fasten is zip. Fasten-nating, isn't it?) chuckled evilly. Small but agile, the paper clip was deadly. As she chuckled, the tiny paper clip shook. Charles opened the door that had the word EXIT above it, and entered a room. The door shut behind him, and a second wall with spikes on it fell over it. Charles looked in the room around him. The walls and ceiling all had millions of spikes. He heard a voice.
"BWAHAHAHAHAHA! Because you ruined my boss' job, you will pay! PAY! BWAHAHAHAHAHA!" Charles said,
"Would you like that in credit, check or change?"
"Hmm? I don't know, but you are going to change. Into minced person! BWAHAHAHAHAHA!"
"What's up with your excessive use of BWAHAHAHAHAS?" Charles asked. The voice said nothing. Charles shrugged, and walked up to the wall with spikes. He realized that that wall had no door. Charles stood in the middle of the floor, and waited for a door to appear. The walls and ceiling slowly began to close in.
"BWAHAHAHAHAHA!" The voice said.
"Shut up," Charles snorted. The voice, which was a paper clip named zip, was taken aback.
"Oh, my! The," at this point, the paper clip attempted to gesture quotation marks with its middle and pointer finger, although it had none. She realized she could not be seen anyway, and gave up. "'great' Charles! I'm so scared!" The paper clip continued with less than no hint of sarcasm in her voice.
"I'm flattered," Charles said with a new feeling of greatness and no sarcasm.
"Twit," The paper clip muttered. "Leave it to a guy like him to ruin my fun," she added grumbling. Charles didn't hear her. Charles pulled something out of his pocket, which caused the paper clip to gasp.
"Oh, no! If you have something in your pocket, it might be a bomb because you were expecting this to happen! All my plans might be ruined!" The paper clip worried. Charles ate what he had pulled out. It was a popcorn kernel.
"Mmm...," Charles said with satisfaction. He loved unpopped popcorn kernels.
"Phew," The paper clip said with relief. At this point, the walls and ceiling were about fifty feet away from Charles. Charles pulled something out of his other pocket.
"Oh, (insert explicative here)," the paper clip said. It was a sunflower seed. Charles cracked it with his teeth, and spit the shell out. The shell bounced off of the spikes, flew to the other wall, and repeated this process until it reached the ceiling. The sunflower seed shell slipped through a small crack into a control room, knocked the paper clip over onto a button, and the spikes discontinued their closing in. They retracted into the wall, and a door appeared on the wall opposite the one Charles came in. Charles walked out disappointed that his first date didn't work out.
'I didn't get to even see her!' Charles thought.
The chosen one walked through the forest, with her Bulbasaur. They came to a clearing, and the chosen one sat down on a rock. Bulbasaur said,
"Bulbasaur." Diane, once named Aloof, had changed her name to Diane when she became less Aloof with the help of two Bulbasaurs. The Bulbasaur Aloof now owned was one of them. Bulbasaur sniffed the air twice, and ran off.
"Bulba, bulbasaur," it said to Diane. Diane followed it into the bushes, and they came to the remains of millions of cherry pits.
"Oh my," Diane gasped. Bulbasaur nudged the pile with its nose. Diane began to say something that would have caused the cherry pits to come together and take over the world, (in a good way, because the cherry pits could prevent the end of the world), but she was stopped by a falling Diglett.
"Dig-uh-lett!" Diglett said as-a-matter-of-factly.
"Whu-" Diane began to say when fifteen more Digletts and a Chikorita fell on her. Bulbasaur started to attack but seized its act after a Steelix fell and crushed both of them, and at the same time destroyed the cherry pits even more. Millions of Digletts continued to fall, and pretty soon the chosen one and her Bulbasaur were buried underground. An Ampharos that happened to be underground also, said,
"Ampharos." Diane dug her way out, and Bulbasaur followed. Diane had had enough, so she sent out a Delibird, got on her Pidgeot, flew into air, and Delibird used Blizzard ten times. It was quite a sight, because there were tons of Pokemon frozen in mid-air, most of them Digletts. Diane was not very appreciative of the sight after being buried underground shortly, and she flew away back to her gym.