A/N- This chapter is a unique one. Anna makes a sort of appearance, and it's all following Van Helsing. So no Carl... sorry!
The Wishmasters- --hugs back-- i feel so wuved...
Evanescence songs definitely fit the overall mood of Van Helsing... this fic is gonna be 14 chapters. Originally, it was gonna be 11 chapters, each and Evanescence song, but not all of the songs would work with my plot so I took out a couple (Going Under, Everybody's Fool and Tourniquet. Originally, I would've taken out Whisper and put Tourniquet in, but I changed my mind) and added a song that's not on Fallen, then decided to use a couple songs from other artists.
ROFLMAO, that's too funny that we have the same song for the third chapter!! LOL...
Peekaboo42- Yes, there will be much Carl suffering later on in this story! And no, both he and Van Helsing as still injured...
Papilio- Yay, more hugs!! --hugs back-- I like hugs!! Angst muchly, eh? I'm lovin' it too... Evanescence songs completely compliment the Van Helsing genre, they work almost TOO well. Here's another Evanescence songfic for ya!
PineappleIce- I'm glad you liked the whole dolphin-Carl thing, I thought it was a nice touch too. I hope you continue to love this!
I just realized how bloody long this fic is... It's already 30 pages and only four chapters!!! Jeez.. anyways, the song for this chapter is 'Haunted' by our favorite band, Evanescence. Next chapter is a Sarah McLachlan song!!
Chapter Four:
Haunted
The Adriatic Sea was anything but a cradle that night. Surely, it rocked Van Helsing back and forth as tenderly as any mother would've, but something about it was... eerie, out of place. Children's lullabies, so innocent in the daytime, were slipping slyly through his head. And now, somehow, they were terrifying. That was the way of the night, taking things and twisting them so that they slide away and become other than they are. It is a treacherous time, a time of illusion and nightmare.
Van Helsing was normally at home in the night. He had to be in his line of work. But he hated this night. It had stolen Carl from him. He could summon no image of the Friar to his mind, couldn't recall the sound of his voice or remember his laughter. It was as though he had never existed... but Van Helsing knew he had. He just knew it somehow.
He tossed and turned out of synch with the sea, leaving him sick and disoriented. But he couldn't hold still, it would be the death of him. The demons that haunted him would bear down on him if he didn't keep moving to stay out of their hellish clutches.
The Hunter tried to still the rapid beating of his heart. What could save him from these night terrors if they didn't exist?
Knowledge. He thought. I know they don't exist. So he began to talk quietly to himself, knowing that he was alone in the ship but for the captain and the crew, who were all above deck. He spoke to himself of what he remembered of Carl, and then slipped into a monologue of all he knew about all the monsters he had ever fought. Some of the information about their powers, weaknesses, and locations was centuries old, but he trusted them to protect him and assure him that under his present circumstances none of them could exist. It didn't help him understand why he was still there, awake, when there was nothing to be frightened of. At least, the rules he was whispering to himself said so.
But nightmares don't exactly play by the rules, do they?
----
Long lost words whisper slowly
To me
Still can't find what keeps me here
----
All his known life, Gabriel Van Helsing had been alone. There were times when it was necessary and welcome, and other times when it was like a needle was being pressed into absolutely every pore on his body and being driven slowly inward. When they finally made it into his body they'd all press in on his heart with a million sharp, icy jolts of pain. Finally, the whole world would shrivel up and crumbled around him.
This was one of the times when he wished to God that he was by himself. Because right then he had that crawling feeling, that instinct born by years of fighting evil that told him he was not alone. He rose slowly from the bed, drawing his other pistol out from its resting place under the pillow and cocking it, then laying it neatly on his lap. It would bring rationality and sanity back to him and scare away whatever specter was lurking in the shadows.
But the feeling didn't go away.
He wasn't alone.
----
When all this time I've been so alone
Inside...
----
He could've sworn it then. He could've sworn he heard her voice... The Hunter was on his feet in an instant, pistol ready to fire at any shadow so much as twitched. And then he heard her voice again...
----
(Will you stay?)
----
Anna's ghostly form appeared before him, her eyes sad and pleading.
"Van Helsing." She said quietly.
"Anna..." He almost wanted to believe her then, reaching out as though to touch ehr shoulder. But the second he did, his hand transformed into the clawed paw of the werewolf once more and suddenly Anna was no longer standing upright. She lay on the floor of the cabin, her head at an odd angle, her eyes glazed and staring. "No!" Van Helsing shouted, backing away and into a wall, dropping his pistol.
"Van Helsing!" Anna called, more urgently this time. She was on her feet once more, her body unmarred, But Van Helsing continued to back away. As she was reaching out towards him, he could see the claws of the Brides of Dracula, and her mouth erupted into hideous fangs as she dove for him. He jumped to the side, away from her, his whole body shaking. He had killed the Brides. He had killed Anna... why were all his nightmares suddenly in one room, watching him, threatening to pull him down into madness?
"Please listen, Gabriel!" She called again with full desperation.
"I won't listen to you! I won't let myself be taken under!" He shouted, pistol ready to fire. "I know you don't exist!"
He started to back away again, until he hit another wall. Then suddenly the floor was jerked out from under him and he lay on his back, looking up at the ceiling. The baby vampires were all around him, shrieking wildly. No... I killed them too... Van Helsing scrambled back to his feet and kept his pistol on the screeching monsters. And then they all piled on top of each other and burst into green goo. From their ashes, Anna rose once more.
"You must listen to me! You must believe that these things are not real!" She begged.
"Then neither are you. I killed you, Anna. Must you haunt me?" He choked.
"I must love you!" She cried, ethereal tears wobbling on the brink of her eyelids.
Van Helsing hesitated, lowering the pistol slightly. Anna began to advance, her mouth open to speak... and then she was Dracula in his hellbeast form, lunging after him with fangs bared. On instinct, he ran. He had to get away... He couldn't be taken under by these demons of his own design, creatures he had murdered... Some he feared, others he loved.... but he couldn't escape any of them. He looked down at his hands. He swore he could see their blood dripping off them...
----
Watching me, wanting me
I can feel you pull me down
Fearing you, loving you
I won't let you pull me down
----
He ran out of his room and slammed the door shut behind him. He barred it with his own body, arms flung out wide and back pressed against it in an odd position that cast a cross-shaped shadow in the moonlight. He would sacrifice himself there, it seemed, to keep these demons at bay. They couldn't be unleashed on the world. Not while Carl was in it...
Then he heard a soft rapping on the door behind him, and her scent washed over him. Anna... he remembered that scent. It was the scent of blood and tears and sacrifice, revenge and yet, hope. It reminded him of Transylvania and all that had happened there. He had killed her there.
"You must understand, Anna, I have to believe this isn't you." He whispered to the stars above, even though he couldn't see them. "I have to believe that you are dead, no matter how real this seems."
"But I'm here, here with you..." The ghostly echo of her voice was all around him and there she stood once more, arms open and waiting.
----
Hunting you I can smell you
Alive?
----
Van Helsing stepped close to her, his hands closing around hers by some trick of the night. He could hear her heartbeat. She was alive! But it was a frantic and erratic heartbeat at best. Or was it all in his head? He backed away from her apparition slowly, and with cautious eyes.
"Please, don't do this." She begged, arms still outstretched. He was backed into a corner.
Or was that his own, terrified heartbeat he heard?
----
Your heart pounding
In my head...
----
He ran again, all through the lower areas of the ship where shadows were abundant and every shadow housed a new demon. He evaded them all, ducking and spinning and brandishing his pistol. Anna was still following him, shouting his name. It was like a siren's call. He tried to block it out, tried to will himself not to be afraid. None of this existed, there was nothing to be afraid OF.
But if none of it exists, how can I defeat it? He asked himself.
Van Helsing tried to think of Carl. Carl. Sweet, logical, smart Carl. The Friar's memory would protect him, Carl would be able to make sense of all of this. But all he could hear were the calls of Anna's ghost.
"Gabriel, please! I love you..." The words reverberated all around him till they turned distorted and ugly, melting into Dracula's mocking voice.
"Gabriel... Gabriel..."
It was like the worst torment for his ears.
"I want to hear Carl's voice!" He shouted suddenly, trying to banish all the other voices. All the sounds went silent then and he stopped running. Suddenly, he was back in his room. Trembling, he began to wonder if he had ever left it, if he was truly starting to go insane. He sunk down on the bed and wrapped himself in the gushing of memories that washed over him then, among them Carl's. He surrounded himself with the memories of Carl, built a wall that kept him apart from the world.
"Carl..." Gabriel whispered. The pistol slid out of his hand, hit the floor with a leaden thump, but he didn't hear it. He was asleep, and he was safe. He was with Carl. there was no threat now of being pulled down into insanity.
----
Watching me, wanting me
I can feel you pull me down
Saving me, raping me
I won't let you pull me down
----
Anna's ghostly form looked over her shoulder only once, sadly, at Van Helsing. She loved him still, even when she knew she could not have him. She was nothing if not happy that he had found someone else to love- he and Carl made a good pair- but he had pushed her away. Now she could not give the message she had wanted to give him. He would return home to find love there, but he would leave it again with his love in tow only to find death. He needed to heed her warning to listen to the advice he would soon receive, or all the happiness she wished them would be torn away.
But now her time was over, she disappeared back into the stars, grieving as she left Van Helsing to fend for himself. For once, she wasn't sure he would make it.
A/N-- Oooh, what is my devious little mind cooking up? What was Anna supposed to warn Van Helsing of? Hehehe, that's for me to know and you to find out when you review!!! And I know that was a short chapter... but it was also a short song. And I just wanted to give Anna a chance to appear and establish that she loves Van Helsing from afar yet still wishes him and Carl happiness.
The Wishmasters- --hugs back-- i feel so wuved...
Evanescence songs definitely fit the overall mood of Van Helsing... this fic is gonna be 14 chapters. Originally, it was gonna be 11 chapters, each and Evanescence song, but not all of the songs would work with my plot so I took out a couple (Going Under, Everybody's Fool and Tourniquet. Originally, I would've taken out Whisper and put Tourniquet in, but I changed my mind) and added a song that's not on Fallen, then decided to use a couple songs from other artists.
ROFLMAO, that's too funny that we have the same song for the third chapter!! LOL...
Peekaboo42- Yes, there will be much Carl suffering later on in this story! And no, both he and Van Helsing as still injured...
Papilio- Yay, more hugs!! --hugs back-- I like hugs!! Angst muchly, eh? I'm lovin' it too... Evanescence songs completely compliment the Van Helsing genre, they work almost TOO well. Here's another Evanescence songfic for ya!
PineappleIce- I'm glad you liked the whole dolphin-Carl thing, I thought it was a nice touch too. I hope you continue to love this!
I just realized how bloody long this fic is... It's already 30 pages and only four chapters!!! Jeez.. anyways, the song for this chapter is 'Haunted' by our favorite band, Evanescence. Next chapter is a Sarah McLachlan song!!
Chapter Four:
Haunted
The Adriatic Sea was anything but a cradle that night. Surely, it rocked Van Helsing back and forth as tenderly as any mother would've, but something about it was... eerie, out of place. Children's lullabies, so innocent in the daytime, were slipping slyly through his head. And now, somehow, they were terrifying. That was the way of the night, taking things and twisting them so that they slide away and become other than they are. It is a treacherous time, a time of illusion and nightmare.
Van Helsing was normally at home in the night. He had to be in his line of work. But he hated this night. It had stolen Carl from him. He could summon no image of the Friar to his mind, couldn't recall the sound of his voice or remember his laughter. It was as though he had never existed... but Van Helsing knew he had. He just knew it somehow.
He tossed and turned out of synch with the sea, leaving him sick and disoriented. But he couldn't hold still, it would be the death of him. The demons that haunted him would bear down on him if he didn't keep moving to stay out of their hellish clutches.
The Hunter tried to still the rapid beating of his heart. What could save him from these night terrors if they didn't exist?
Knowledge. He thought. I know they don't exist. So he began to talk quietly to himself, knowing that he was alone in the ship but for the captain and the crew, who were all above deck. He spoke to himself of what he remembered of Carl, and then slipped into a monologue of all he knew about all the monsters he had ever fought. Some of the information about their powers, weaknesses, and locations was centuries old, but he trusted them to protect him and assure him that under his present circumstances none of them could exist. It didn't help him understand why he was still there, awake, when there was nothing to be frightened of. At least, the rules he was whispering to himself said so.
But nightmares don't exactly play by the rules, do they?
----
Long lost words whisper slowly
To me
Still can't find what keeps me here
----
All his known life, Gabriel Van Helsing had been alone. There were times when it was necessary and welcome, and other times when it was like a needle was being pressed into absolutely every pore on his body and being driven slowly inward. When they finally made it into his body they'd all press in on his heart with a million sharp, icy jolts of pain. Finally, the whole world would shrivel up and crumbled around him.
This was one of the times when he wished to God that he was by himself. Because right then he had that crawling feeling, that instinct born by years of fighting evil that told him he was not alone. He rose slowly from the bed, drawing his other pistol out from its resting place under the pillow and cocking it, then laying it neatly on his lap. It would bring rationality and sanity back to him and scare away whatever specter was lurking in the shadows.
But the feeling didn't go away.
He wasn't alone.
----
When all this time I've been so alone
Inside...
----
He could've sworn it then. He could've sworn he heard her voice... The Hunter was on his feet in an instant, pistol ready to fire at any shadow so much as twitched. And then he heard her voice again...
----
(Will you stay?)
----
Anna's ghostly form appeared before him, her eyes sad and pleading.
"Van Helsing." She said quietly.
"Anna..." He almost wanted to believe her then, reaching out as though to touch ehr shoulder. But the second he did, his hand transformed into the clawed paw of the werewolf once more and suddenly Anna was no longer standing upright. She lay on the floor of the cabin, her head at an odd angle, her eyes glazed and staring. "No!" Van Helsing shouted, backing away and into a wall, dropping his pistol.
"Van Helsing!" Anna called, more urgently this time. She was on her feet once more, her body unmarred, But Van Helsing continued to back away. As she was reaching out towards him, he could see the claws of the Brides of Dracula, and her mouth erupted into hideous fangs as she dove for him. He jumped to the side, away from her, his whole body shaking. He had killed the Brides. He had killed Anna... why were all his nightmares suddenly in one room, watching him, threatening to pull him down into madness?
"Please listen, Gabriel!" She called again with full desperation.
"I won't listen to you! I won't let myself be taken under!" He shouted, pistol ready to fire. "I know you don't exist!"
He started to back away again, until he hit another wall. Then suddenly the floor was jerked out from under him and he lay on his back, looking up at the ceiling. The baby vampires were all around him, shrieking wildly. No... I killed them too... Van Helsing scrambled back to his feet and kept his pistol on the screeching monsters. And then they all piled on top of each other and burst into green goo. From their ashes, Anna rose once more.
"You must listen to me! You must believe that these things are not real!" She begged.
"Then neither are you. I killed you, Anna. Must you haunt me?" He choked.
"I must love you!" She cried, ethereal tears wobbling on the brink of her eyelids.
Van Helsing hesitated, lowering the pistol slightly. Anna began to advance, her mouth open to speak... and then she was Dracula in his hellbeast form, lunging after him with fangs bared. On instinct, he ran. He had to get away... He couldn't be taken under by these demons of his own design, creatures he had murdered... Some he feared, others he loved.... but he couldn't escape any of them. He looked down at his hands. He swore he could see their blood dripping off them...
----
Watching me, wanting me
I can feel you pull me down
Fearing you, loving you
I won't let you pull me down
----
He ran out of his room and slammed the door shut behind him. He barred it with his own body, arms flung out wide and back pressed against it in an odd position that cast a cross-shaped shadow in the moonlight. He would sacrifice himself there, it seemed, to keep these demons at bay. They couldn't be unleashed on the world. Not while Carl was in it...
Then he heard a soft rapping on the door behind him, and her scent washed over him. Anna... he remembered that scent. It was the scent of blood and tears and sacrifice, revenge and yet, hope. It reminded him of Transylvania and all that had happened there. He had killed her there.
"You must understand, Anna, I have to believe this isn't you." He whispered to the stars above, even though he couldn't see them. "I have to believe that you are dead, no matter how real this seems."
"But I'm here, here with you..." The ghostly echo of her voice was all around him and there she stood once more, arms open and waiting.
----
Hunting you I can smell you
Alive?
----
Van Helsing stepped close to her, his hands closing around hers by some trick of the night. He could hear her heartbeat. She was alive! But it was a frantic and erratic heartbeat at best. Or was it all in his head? He backed away from her apparition slowly, and with cautious eyes.
"Please, don't do this." She begged, arms still outstretched. He was backed into a corner.
Or was that his own, terrified heartbeat he heard?
----
Your heart pounding
In my head...
----
He ran again, all through the lower areas of the ship where shadows were abundant and every shadow housed a new demon. He evaded them all, ducking and spinning and brandishing his pistol. Anna was still following him, shouting his name. It was like a siren's call. He tried to block it out, tried to will himself not to be afraid. None of this existed, there was nothing to be afraid OF.
But if none of it exists, how can I defeat it? He asked himself.
Van Helsing tried to think of Carl. Carl. Sweet, logical, smart Carl. The Friar's memory would protect him, Carl would be able to make sense of all of this. But all he could hear were the calls of Anna's ghost.
"Gabriel, please! I love you..." The words reverberated all around him till they turned distorted and ugly, melting into Dracula's mocking voice.
"Gabriel... Gabriel..."
It was like the worst torment for his ears.
"I want to hear Carl's voice!" He shouted suddenly, trying to banish all the other voices. All the sounds went silent then and he stopped running. Suddenly, he was back in his room. Trembling, he began to wonder if he had ever left it, if he was truly starting to go insane. He sunk down on the bed and wrapped himself in the gushing of memories that washed over him then, among them Carl's. He surrounded himself with the memories of Carl, built a wall that kept him apart from the world.
"Carl..." Gabriel whispered. The pistol slid out of his hand, hit the floor with a leaden thump, but he didn't hear it. He was asleep, and he was safe. He was with Carl. there was no threat now of being pulled down into insanity.
----
Watching me, wanting me
I can feel you pull me down
Saving me, raping me
I won't let you pull me down
----
Anna's ghostly form looked over her shoulder only once, sadly, at Van Helsing. She loved him still, even when she knew she could not have him. She was nothing if not happy that he had found someone else to love- he and Carl made a good pair- but he had pushed her away. Now she could not give the message she had wanted to give him. He would return home to find love there, but he would leave it again with his love in tow only to find death. He needed to heed her warning to listen to the advice he would soon receive, or all the happiness she wished them would be torn away.
But now her time was over, she disappeared back into the stars, grieving as she left Van Helsing to fend for himself. For once, she wasn't sure he would make it.
A/N-- Oooh, what is my devious little mind cooking up? What was Anna supposed to warn Van Helsing of? Hehehe, that's for me to know and you to find out when you review!!! And I know that was a short chapter... but it was also a short song. And I just wanted to give Anna a chance to appear and establish that she loves Van Helsing from afar yet still wishes him and Carl happiness.