A/N-- BOO! hahahaha.... limey goodness....... I'm so happy....
The Wishmasters- Yay! I earned myself a glomp! LOL... here's some more slashy-limey goodiness for your reading pleasure!
Lyndsay- Here's the limey goodness!! (that sounds so odd...)
Papilio- Van Helsing wasn't going to leave on a mission... he was going to run away and probably kill himself before he hurt Carl. But we'll see what happens in this chappie...
Jenny Sand- Here's some more! Sorry it took so long... my muse got kidnapped.
Jade- I'm glad the chapter made you feel that way! (that thought is a bit odd, isn't it?!) I liked putting the suicidal touch in... makes it all the more sweet in the end. Thank you for calling me one of your favorite authors!
Kieran- Ugh, don't flatter me so! I do no justice to the movie... but I'm surprised more people who have seen it didn't pick up on this slash! It's so obvious and such a great pairing... grr... anyways! I hope you see the movie soon!
Kay- Hey, no problem! I love responding to my reviewers... it's fun!
I brought Anna in cuz I didn't want Van Helsing to just stop loving her all the sudden. I thought she should be factored in... and also, she was a foreshadowing for something that will happen in a couple chapters after this. (DUN DUN DUN) I hope I keep hearing from you!
This chapter's song is Imaginary by Evanescence. Next chapter is My Immortal also by Evanescence. And then I think there's two more Evanescence songfics after that... but you have to get through this one first!
Chapter 6:
Imaginary
Nothing lasts forever, and so the kiss eventually came to an end. It was Gabriel who drew back first, looking down with an unreadable expression at the Friar in his arms. Carl's eyes took a moment to open again, and when they did they took on an expression of pouting. He laughed nervously.
"Something wrong?" He asked in a similar tone, his hand fidgeting with the collar of Gabriel's coat.
"Well... just the fact that everything is so right. It seems a bit unnatural for me to get what I wish for." Van Helsing replied quietly.
"You... wished for, wanted.... this?" Carl stammered. Great, a perfect time to get a case of nerves, right when he was getting what he wanted.
"No, I didn't, I was kissing you because I hate you." Van Helsing rolled his eyes, but ceased the sarcasm when he saw the look of stark terror on Carl's face. For a moment there, he had fooled him. "I don't mean that, not at all." He assured him, running his the back of his hand gently up and down the side of the Friar's face. "Or do I need to say it again?"
"It couldn't hurt." Carl smiled. He began to pull Van Helsing into another kiss, but the Hunter stopped him.
"Wait." He said quickly; another look of horror on Carl's face almost tore him apart. "I want to actually say it." He took a deep breath. "I love you." No sooner than he had said those words crushed Carl against him in their hardest, most passionate kiss yet.
Gabriel had half expected Carl to grow limp in his grasp, cowed by the passion, but the Friar kissed him back just as hard, clutching him as fiercely as he did. Now they were both dizzied, and when they pulled back they were dangerously short of breath. But they barely paused to catch it again, and before his mind knew what was happening Carl's lips were on fire with Van Helsing kisses. They were soft and quick, plucked off his lips like roses. They touched him long enough to send coils of molten lava flowing through his veins, but short enough to leave him still gasping for more. He finally took Gabriel's face between his hands and forced him to hold the kiss, an action that tore a moan from both of their throats. At last they both parted, truly about to faint from lack of breath.
"I... should go." Van Helsing panted, knowing what they were doing to each other.
"Do you really have to go on a mission so soon?" Carl's eyes were pleading as he looped his arms around the larger man's neck, watching him.
"No. I haven't seen Cardinal Jinette all day. I meant back to my room." Van Helsing explained.
"Then what was this 'leaving' business from earlier?" Carl asked, still not sated. The more he talked, he reasoned, the longer the Hunter would stay.
"I was going to leave the Order. Probably commit suicide after two days. I thought I was going to destroy us both, me with the pain of unrequited love and you with the fear of not giving me what I wanted. So I resolved to leave... but not without good-bye. So I came here and then..." He laughed. "Well, everything happened."
"You thought that... the only reason I'd love you is because I'd be afraid not to?" Carl queried, incredulous. "You self-centered oaf! You're not scary enough to do all that!" He cried.
"Oh really now?" Van Helsing half-growled in his throat.
Before Carl could even think of a response, Van Helsing's lips were on him again, requesting- no, demanding- entrance to his mouth. Who was he to disobey? He parted his lips and allowed Gabriel's tongue to slide in, exploring every inch. He could feel his muscles trembling as they staggered back, and allowed Van Helsing to press him to the bed. It was only when he felt the pleasurable weight of the Hunter's hips over his own and knew that he was straddling him did he realize what game they were playing. Van Helsing was trying to prove that he could scare the Friar into doing what he wanted, and had so far proved himself to be right: he had gained entrance to his mouth, negotiated them to the bed and secured the dominant position, all before Carl could so much as kiss him back. Well, he couldn't let Van Helsing win, now could he?
Carl sat up abruptly, pushing himself further into Gabriel's embrace. As he forced them to sit up, he straddled his lap and sat up so that his head was above the Hunter's, forcing him to bend his head back. Next his arms wound around his neck and shoulders, hands tangling themselves in his hair and pushing himself even deeper into the kiss. At this point it wasn't even a kiss, it was more of a duel. Their tongues danced around each other, mirroring their outward fight for dominance. Van Helsing found himself a little shocked; where had Carl learned about stuff like this? It didn't matter he concluded, although it was rather odd that a Friar could send such exquisite waves of pleasure through him.
He allowed Carl to press them back down on the bed, with the Friar on top, of course. It was then the kiss was broken, and Carl moved on to kiss his face from jawline to hairline and back down again, making its way to his throat. He pushed aside the coat and began to tug at the shirt, and would've moved his conquest lower if he had not stopped and arched his back with a soft cry.
Even though the cry he made was one very similar to that humans make when in pain, Gabriel wasn't the least bit worried. To the contrary, he was smirking and very pleased with himself. He had slid his hands under Carl's loose nightshirt and run his hands very lightly up and down his spine, pausing at all the right places. The action rewarded him with that cry and arched spine, obviously a sign that he was tormenting his quarry. Not that Carl wasn't doing a good job of getting revenge for it; in arching his back, he had thrust his hips straight down on what was causing this whole affair.
Carl was dizzy and faint with the sensations Van Helsing was causing. It already felt like he was floating lightly on the clouds, so when he went sailing through the air all the sudden it didn't seem like that big of a deal. But his mind squeaked furiously when it realized that Van Helsing had once more reversed their positions. they were back at the head of the bed, and he was on top again. Gentle hands were lightly caressing his sides; lips and teeth nibbled at the hollow of his throat. He struggled to flip them again, but Gabriel made a tut-tutting noise and used his superior weight and size to keep him pinned.
"No fair." He whimpered.
"All's fair in love and war." Van Helsing laughed, kissing him again.
"And which is this?" Carl retorted breathlessly.
"You tell me." The Hunter's voice was surprisingly vulnerable; Carl yearned to see the expression on his face, but he had hidden it in the crook of his shoulder, where he was now nuzzling him.
"Look me in the eye." He asked quietly. He could almost hear Van Helsing's frantic heartbeat as he raised his eyes to meet his own. Tenderly, he cupped the Hunter's face in both his hands. "It's love." He whispered before pulling him into another kiss, this one much softer, and infinitely more tormenting.
Their lips may've remained almost chaste, having given up the war, but their hands did not. They roamed furiously over each other's bodies, still seeking conquest. it was Van Helsing who got there first; not expecting the touch of his lover's hand where he wanted it the most, Carl mewled and arched against him, seeking more. But, cleverly, he withdrew again and then pushed his body up off the bed so that it hovered tantalizing inches above the Friar's.
"Please..." Carl gasped, sweat rolling down his forehead.
"I really, really should go." Van Helsing whispered. He kissed him once more, and then stood without another word, heading for the door.
"Wait!" Carl called, sitting up. The Hunter paused in the doorway and turned, an unreadable look on his face. "There's a key on the desk." He instructed. Gabriel frowned. "I want you to lock the door. I want you to stay with me."
Here was the moment of choice. If this was devilry, then now was Van Helsing's last chance to get away. He knew he shouldn't, he knew that in the eyes of the world this was wrong... but in Carl's eyes, he could still see only Heaven...
----
I linger in the doorway
Alarm clocks screaming
Monsters calling my name
----
He locked the door.
He hardly knew what he was doing as he walked back to Carl's side, shedding his coat on the way. He was lost from then on, lost in the embrace of the man he loved. Those words, however revolting they were to the rest of the world, fit as seamlessly in his mind as Carl's body fit against his. He loved him. He loved him, he loved him, he loved him.
Carl loved him back. He whispered it to him so many times, words that stole out in-between kisses and were gasped out mid-caress. He repeated them as often as he could sometimes they interrupted what was happening, but on the whole it only accentuated and punctuated everything perfectly.
I love you.
I love you.
He would've given anything in the world to stay there. He wanted to stay with those whispered words and the kisses raining down on both of them in a poignant storm. The few tears that slid down their face wove them all together, told each other everything without the use of more ungainly words. Van Helsing knew that Carl knew when he was about to come home and waited for him. Carl knew that Van Helsing always sensed when he was in trouble. They told each other stories, tales of regret and confusion, and wrote knew tales together. Tales of hope and joy and ecstasy.
I love you.
I love you.
----
Let me stay
Where the wind will whisper to me
Where the raindrops as they're falling
Tell a story
----
Van Helsing was the first awake later that night. In fact, he had never even slept. Carl had fallen away almost immediately after their lovemaking, but Gabriel had been unable to. He had rolled onto his back and rested the slight form of the other man on top of him, wrapping his arms around his waist to make sure he wouldn't go anywhere. And then he had done what he had been doing ever since Transylvania. He watched him.
Well, to tell the truth, there was some light kissing and gentle caressing and whispered promises, but mostly there was watching. Blissful observing of his new lover's every quirk. There were even some new ones, ones that had not been present before. If Van Helsing shifted even in the slightest, Carl would move with him, keeping in the same position as before, so that they'd both be comfortable. If he tickled his lower spine ever so slightly, he'd shudder and hold him closer. When Gabriel kissed the very tip of his nose, he'd wriggle it and then nuzzle his chest. He could've filled up an entire notebook of all the things he did while he slept. He wanted too, in fact, so that he could remember every detail of that night and so he'd know how to keep his beloved Friar happy.
He was at peace for those precious hours, in a world entirely apart from the rest. There were no anguished tears, only the beautiful kind. The relieved kind that snuck down his face now. There was no hatred, just the swirling, passionate love that possessed him now. There were no rules against this kind of love either. There were only such things as made them both happy... He could lie there for hours, and while he knew he was endanger of forever losing himself to that bliss, he had not the heart to tear himself out of it.
----
In my field of paper flowers
And candy clouds of lullab
I lie inside myself for hours
And watch my purple sky
Fly over me
----
"Gabriel?"
Carl didn't seem to have any of his problems with leaving that peaceful place. It was his voice whispering his name that snapped him out of it... of course, just being with Carl was the next best thing.
"Mm?" and a kiss on the forehead were Van Helsing's only replies.
"You sound tired. You should sleep." Carl reprimanded lightly, watching the Hunter from his place on his chest.
"If you're in my arms every night, I think I'm in danger of never sleeping again." Gabriel chuckled.
"Am I really that cute when I'm asleep?" Carl asked quizzically, his head tipped to one side.
"Yes, you really are." Van Helsing smiled. His eyes were drifting closed, though...
"Gabriel?"
"Yes." He asked, not opening his eyes.
"Can we talk?"
"What about?" His eyes were just barely open now; narrow, glittering slits that watched Carl intently and affectionately. His hand continued to run up and down Carl's bare back, sending silver thrills down his spine.
"Firstly, about your hand running up and down my back." He muttered, his eyes dilating slightly as Van Helsing's other hand joined the first.
"Oh, one isn't enough for you? You're needy for a Friar." Gabriel purred, his eyes flashing gleefully.
"Not funny. I won't be able to talk if you keep doing that." Carl groaned, dropping his head onto Van Helsing's chest once more.
"Heaven forbid you not be able to hear the sound of your own voice." He chuckled. But his hands did freeze and curl lovingly around his sides instead, bringing him closer. Carl responded by leaving a trail of soft kisses along Van Helsing's collarbone.
"I can hear your heartbeat." He murmured drowsily. And indeed he could; it was steady, strong, unfailing. Dracula may not have been able to dance to it, but Carl's heart could beat along with it without even thinking.
"Is that what you want to talk about? My heart?" Van Helsing asked, incredulous.
"Both our hearts." Carl replied.
"And I can't touch my lover while we talk about our hearts?" He asked silkily, although his hands didn't move.
"You're really quite a smartass." He grumbled back, poking him in the chest.
"But I'm lovable too." Gabriel smirked triumphantly.
"A little too lovable." Carl agreed with a smile. "But really.... can we talk?"
"Of course." Van Helsing said softly, allowing his eyes to drift closed again. But Carl knew he was listening.
So Carl began to talk. It was one of his talents. He could talk forever and still have a lot more to say. That was just his nature; he had a lot of opinions and questions about a lot of things. But one talent most would say he lacked was the ability to draw people in, make them want to listen. Van Helsing didn't agree with them; he could listen to Carl for hours on end and not even know a single minute had passed. Not that he'd ever tell Carl that. Give him an inch and he'd take a mile.
This night Carl took Gabriel across many miles of his soul, letting out things he knew he must've waited an eternity to say. Mostly what he talked about though was how he felt entirely cut off from the world, suppressed and out of touch with reality. But he'd build his own reality and ignore their frustrating one. Shyly, he told Van Helsing about how deep a part of that reality he had become. Whenever the world beat him down with its finite rules and menacing punishments, he'd escape to that other reality where anything was possible. But wherever he was there, Van Helsing was too. He was his protector, his friend... his lover, in some of the most recent times.
"The worst part is coming back from that world. Everything here seems so dull and dirty and sullen compared to what I've created in my mind." Carl finished at last. "But I've always been so afraid to tell anyone about my little 'hiding place.' I'm afraid that they'll call me an escapist and a coward. Cardinal Jinette has been noticing how often I've been escaping into my mind lately... He'd be the one to call me those things. He'd never understand."
"I understand why you do it, though. Everyone has demons they need to hide from." Van Helsing assured him.
"Well what about you?"
----
Don't say I'm out of touch
With this rampant chaos
Your reality
----
"I... have always hidden from myself. Really, I practically live in a dream world. Most people call me murderer, but maybe somewhere out there people call me brave. And the ones that call me murderer would be closer to the truth. Because if people are branded 'coward' for escaping into themselves, then I am the greatest coward of all." Van Helsing rambled quietly.
"But there's a downside to living in a world like that all the time. Eventually, you find its dark corners too. And then you have to escape back to the real world, the world I know all too well. the world full of monsters and sinners and death and darkness... but it's the world I met you in. And so there's got to be some good left in it."
----
I know well what lies beyond
My sleeping refuge
By nightmares
I've built my own world to escape
----
"You know, this whole night has been sort of like a dream." Carl remarked a few minutes later.
"I know what you mean." Van Helsing smiled, his eyes sneaking closed again.
"Gabriel?"
"Mm?"
"I want to keep dreaming."
----
In my field of paper flowers
And candy clouds of lullaby
I lie inside myself for hours
And watch my purple sky
Fly over me
----
Van Helsing wanted to scream with frustration when dawn came on two accounts: one, he had gotten no sleep that night for reasons explained, and two he knew he had to leave Carl. He wasn't exactly sure if they'd been quiet all that night and knew he had to get out of there in case someone came to investigate. He stood and dressed himself, then bent to kiss Carl just once more before he left him sleeping. The Friar took the separation very well; mumbling and groping around for his human pillow, then sighing with satisfaction when he realized he now had the whole of the bed to himself. The Hunter rolled his eyes and made his exit.
"Van Helsing!" He winced at the sound of his name being called by an obviously angry Cardinal.
"Yes, Cardinal Jinette?" He sighed.
"Where have you been? When did you return?" The religious man demanded.
"I returned yesterday but Carl accosted me and insisted that I rest before I was sent off again." He explained as calmly as he could.
"There is no rest for the Left Hand of God." Jinette reprimanded in severe tones. "You're going back to Transylvania today. Apparently when those vampires followed you here they were supposed to dispose of you for their new leader. You need to go back and kill him before he attains power equivalent to Dracula's."
"When do I leave?" Van Helsing asked in a monotone.
"Any time today. I don't want to see you anywhere near the Vatican come sunset." With that, the Cardinal was gone.
Van Helsing trekked back to his room and mindlessly cleaned himself up, lying still for a few moments to regain some small margin of his strength. He knew he should be focusing on his mission, but he couldn't do anything but think of Carl. He replayed the events of the last night over and over again in his head. He feared, irrationally, that if he didn't, they would cease to be real.
----
Swirled all up in the sound
Of my screaming
I cannot cease for the fear
Of silent night
----
"Gabriel?"
"How many times have you called my name in the last day?" Van Helsing laughed as Carl entered the room.
"Let me think..." The Friar's eyes went to the ceiling and he cocked his head to one side, thinking. "Around-"
"Don't answer my question." Gabriel sighed.
"Can I kiss you instead?" Carl grinned devilishly.
"But of course." He chuckled, holding out his arms and allowing Carl to wrap him in a firm, warm kiss. "I'm afraid that's our good-bye kiss."
"What? But Van Helsing, you don't have to worry about destroying each other anymore. I want to be 'destroyed.'" Carl's voice was bordering on a whimper of fear. He really didn't want to lose Gabriel, not now. That would be the cruelest punishment God could inflict on him. Giev him a taste of what he wanted the most, then snatch it away.
"It will be good-bye for the time being if you don't want to come to Transylvania with me." Gabriel replied.
"Transylvania?"
"Yup. Just got my new mission." He began checking that all his weapons were on him.
"B-but Van Helsing, I can't come! I'm not a field man!" He stuttered.
"Well if you're not a field man and you're not a lady [1] what precisely are you?" He smirked.
"I'm a Carl." He beamed.
"Well do Carls like going with Gabriels on missions?" Van Helsing asked mysteriously.
"Do the Carls have a choice?" He asked.
"Not exactly." He smiled.
"I don't want to come on a mission with you. I'd rather be doing other things." He whined.
"You're very naughty for a Friar, you know that?" Van Helsing laughed. Secretly, he was longing for that too. He would've given anything to just stay here with Carl, locked away from the world. But Fate had other plans, and it propelled them both towards Transylvania. A curse lingered there, waiting for Van Helsing to come.
----
Oh how I long for the deep sleep
Dreaming,
The goddess of imaginary light...
----
A/N-- [1] In the London Assignment, Carl is used as bait and when Hyde catches him, he promptly shouts 'I'm not a lady! I'm not a lady!' JSYK!
Urgh, I was so ready to just take the song out and go with it... I'm not so sure, in hindsight, if it really fits. I hope it does!!! I hope the whole chapter works... I had fun writing it! The next one shall be even more fun... hehehehe.... let's say that this will start living up to it's angst genre. Oh, and BTW, all of my lyrics are being done from memory. So if I have anything wrong (I've never understood all the words in Imaginary) please don't yell at me!
The Wishmasters- Yay! I earned myself a glomp! LOL... here's some more slashy-limey goodiness for your reading pleasure!
Lyndsay- Here's the limey goodness!! (that sounds so odd...)
Papilio- Van Helsing wasn't going to leave on a mission... he was going to run away and probably kill himself before he hurt Carl. But we'll see what happens in this chappie...
Jenny Sand- Here's some more! Sorry it took so long... my muse got kidnapped.
Jade- I'm glad the chapter made you feel that way! (that thought is a bit odd, isn't it?!) I liked putting the suicidal touch in... makes it all the more sweet in the end. Thank you for calling me one of your favorite authors!
Kieran- Ugh, don't flatter me so! I do no justice to the movie... but I'm surprised more people who have seen it didn't pick up on this slash! It's so obvious and such a great pairing... grr... anyways! I hope you see the movie soon!
Kay- Hey, no problem! I love responding to my reviewers... it's fun!
I brought Anna in cuz I didn't want Van Helsing to just stop loving her all the sudden. I thought she should be factored in... and also, she was a foreshadowing for something that will happen in a couple chapters after this. (DUN DUN DUN) I hope I keep hearing from you!
This chapter's song is Imaginary by Evanescence. Next chapter is My Immortal also by Evanescence. And then I think there's two more Evanescence songfics after that... but you have to get through this one first!
Chapter 6:
Imaginary
Nothing lasts forever, and so the kiss eventually came to an end. It was Gabriel who drew back first, looking down with an unreadable expression at the Friar in his arms. Carl's eyes took a moment to open again, and when they did they took on an expression of pouting. He laughed nervously.
"Something wrong?" He asked in a similar tone, his hand fidgeting with the collar of Gabriel's coat.
"Well... just the fact that everything is so right. It seems a bit unnatural for me to get what I wish for." Van Helsing replied quietly.
"You... wished for, wanted.... this?" Carl stammered. Great, a perfect time to get a case of nerves, right when he was getting what he wanted.
"No, I didn't, I was kissing you because I hate you." Van Helsing rolled his eyes, but ceased the sarcasm when he saw the look of stark terror on Carl's face. For a moment there, he had fooled him. "I don't mean that, not at all." He assured him, running his the back of his hand gently up and down the side of the Friar's face. "Or do I need to say it again?"
"It couldn't hurt." Carl smiled. He began to pull Van Helsing into another kiss, but the Hunter stopped him.
"Wait." He said quickly; another look of horror on Carl's face almost tore him apart. "I want to actually say it." He took a deep breath. "I love you." No sooner than he had said those words crushed Carl against him in their hardest, most passionate kiss yet.
Gabriel had half expected Carl to grow limp in his grasp, cowed by the passion, but the Friar kissed him back just as hard, clutching him as fiercely as he did. Now they were both dizzied, and when they pulled back they were dangerously short of breath. But they barely paused to catch it again, and before his mind knew what was happening Carl's lips were on fire with Van Helsing kisses. They were soft and quick, plucked off his lips like roses. They touched him long enough to send coils of molten lava flowing through his veins, but short enough to leave him still gasping for more. He finally took Gabriel's face between his hands and forced him to hold the kiss, an action that tore a moan from both of their throats. At last they both parted, truly about to faint from lack of breath.
"I... should go." Van Helsing panted, knowing what they were doing to each other.
"Do you really have to go on a mission so soon?" Carl's eyes were pleading as he looped his arms around the larger man's neck, watching him.
"No. I haven't seen Cardinal Jinette all day. I meant back to my room." Van Helsing explained.
"Then what was this 'leaving' business from earlier?" Carl asked, still not sated. The more he talked, he reasoned, the longer the Hunter would stay.
"I was going to leave the Order. Probably commit suicide after two days. I thought I was going to destroy us both, me with the pain of unrequited love and you with the fear of not giving me what I wanted. So I resolved to leave... but not without good-bye. So I came here and then..." He laughed. "Well, everything happened."
"You thought that... the only reason I'd love you is because I'd be afraid not to?" Carl queried, incredulous. "You self-centered oaf! You're not scary enough to do all that!" He cried.
"Oh really now?" Van Helsing half-growled in his throat.
Before Carl could even think of a response, Van Helsing's lips were on him again, requesting- no, demanding- entrance to his mouth. Who was he to disobey? He parted his lips and allowed Gabriel's tongue to slide in, exploring every inch. He could feel his muscles trembling as they staggered back, and allowed Van Helsing to press him to the bed. It was only when he felt the pleasurable weight of the Hunter's hips over his own and knew that he was straddling him did he realize what game they were playing. Van Helsing was trying to prove that he could scare the Friar into doing what he wanted, and had so far proved himself to be right: he had gained entrance to his mouth, negotiated them to the bed and secured the dominant position, all before Carl could so much as kiss him back. Well, he couldn't let Van Helsing win, now could he?
Carl sat up abruptly, pushing himself further into Gabriel's embrace. As he forced them to sit up, he straddled his lap and sat up so that his head was above the Hunter's, forcing him to bend his head back. Next his arms wound around his neck and shoulders, hands tangling themselves in his hair and pushing himself even deeper into the kiss. At this point it wasn't even a kiss, it was more of a duel. Their tongues danced around each other, mirroring their outward fight for dominance. Van Helsing found himself a little shocked; where had Carl learned about stuff like this? It didn't matter he concluded, although it was rather odd that a Friar could send such exquisite waves of pleasure through him.
He allowed Carl to press them back down on the bed, with the Friar on top, of course. It was then the kiss was broken, and Carl moved on to kiss his face from jawline to hairline and back down again, making its way to his throat. He pushed aside the coat and began to tug at the shirt, and would've moved his conquest lower if he had not stopped and arched his back with a soft cry.
Even though the cry he made was one very similar to that humans make when in pain, Gabriel wasn't the least bit worried. To the contrary, he was smirking and very pleased with himself. He had slid his hands under Carl's loose nightshirt and run his hands very lightly up and down his spine, pausing at all the right places. The action rewarded him with that cry and arched spine, obviously a sign that he was tormenting his quarry. Not that Carl wasn't doing a good job of getting revenge for it; in arching his back, he had thrust his hips straight down on what was causing this whole affair.
Carl was dizzy and faint with the sensations Van Helsing was causing. It already felt like he was floating lightly on the clouds, so when he went sailing through the air all the sudden it didn't seem like that big of a deal. But his mind squeaked furiously when it realized that Van Helsing had once more reversed their positions. they were back at the head of the bed, and he was on top again. Gentle hands were lightly caressing his sides; lips and teeth nibbled at the hollow of his throat. He struggled to flip them again, but Gabriel made a tut-tutting noise and used his superior weight and size to keep him pinned.
"No fair." He whimpered.
"All's fair in love and war." Van Helsing laughed, kissing him again.
"And which is this?" Carl retorted breathlessly.
"You tell me." The Hunter's voice was surprisingly vulnerable; Carl yearned to see the expression on his face, but he had hidden it in the crook of his shoulder, where he was now nuzzling him.
"Look me in the eye." He asked quietly. He could almost hear Van Helsing's frantic heartbeat as he raised his eyes to meet his own. Tenderly, he cupped the Hunter's face in both his hands. "It's love." He whispered before pulling him into another kiss, this one much softer, and infinitely more tormenting.
Their lips may've remained almost chaste, having given up the war, but their hands did not. They roamed furiously over each other's bodies, still seeking conquest. it was Van Helsing who got there first; not expecting the touch of his lover's hand where he wanted it the most, Carl mewled and arched against him, seeking more. But, cleverly, he withdrew again and then pushed his body up off the bed so that it hovered tantalizing inches above the Friar's.
"Please..." Carl gasped, sweat rolling down his forehead.
"I really, really should go." Van Helsing whispered. He kissed him once more, and then stood without another word, heading for the door.
"Wait!" Carl called, sitting up. The Hunter paused in the doorway and turned, an unreadable look on his face. "There's a key on the desk." He instructed. Gabriel frowned. "I want you to lock the door. I want you to stay with me."
Here was the moment of choice. If this was devilry, then now was Van Helsing's last chance to get away. He knew he shouldn't, he knew that in the eyes of the world this was wrong... but in Carl's eyes, he could still see only Heaven...
----
I linger in the doorway
Alarm clocks screaming
Monsters calling my name
----
He locked the door.
He hardly knew what he was doing as he walked back to Carl's side, shedding his coat on the way. He was lost from then on, lost in the embrace of the man he loved. Those words, however revolting they were to the rest of the world, fit as seamlessly in his mind as Carl's body fit against his. He loved him. He loved him, he loved him, he loved him.
Carl loved him back. He whispered it to him so many times, words that stole out in-between kisses and were gasped out mid-caress. He repeated them as often as he could sometimes they interrupted what was happening, but on the whole it only accentuated and punctuated everything perfectly.
I love you.
I love you.
He would've given anything in the world to stay there. He wanted to stay with those whispered words and the kisses raining down on both of them in a poignant storm. The few tears that slid down their face wove them all together, told each other everything without the use of more ungainly words. Van Helsing knew that Carl knew when he was about to come home and waited for him. Carl knew that Van Helsing always sensed when he was in trouble. They told each other stories, tales of regret and confusion, and wrote knew tales together. Tales of hope and joy and ecstasy.
I love you.
I love you.
----
Let me stay
Where the wind will whisper to me
Where the raindrops as they're falling
Tell a story
----
Van Helsing was the first awake later that night. In fact, he had never even slept. Carl had fallen away almost immediately after their lovemaking, but Gabriel had been unable to. He had rolled onto his back and rested the slight form of the other man on top of him, wrapping his arms around his waist to make sure he wouldn't go anywhere. And then he had done what he had been doing ever since Transylvania. He watched him.
Well, to tell the truth, there was some light kissing and gentle caressing and whispered promises, but mostly there was watching. Blissful observing of his new lover's every quirk. There were even some new ones, ones that had not been present before. If Van Helsing shifted even in the slightest, Carl would move with him, keeping in the same position as before, so that they'd both be comfortable. If he tickled his lower spine ever so slightly, he'd shudder and hold him closer. When Gabriel kissed the very tip of his nose, he'd wriggle it and then nuzzle his chest. He could've filled up an entire notebook of all the things he did while he slept. He wanted too, in fact, so that he could remember every detail of that night and so he'd know how to keep his beloved Friar happy.
He was at peace for those precious hours, in a world entirely apart from the rest. There were no anguished tears, only the beautiful kind. The relieved kind that snuck down his face now. There was no hatred, just the swirling, passionate love that possessed him now. There were no rules against this kind of love either. There were only such things as made them both happy... He could lie there for hours, and while he knew he was endanger of forever losing himself to that bliss, he had not the heart to tear himself out of it.
----
In my field of paper flowers
And candy clouds of lullab
I lie inside myself for hours
And watch my purple sky
Fly over me
----
"Gabriel?"
Carl didn't seem to have any of his problems with leaving that peaceful place. It was his voice whispering his name that snapped him out of it... of course, just being with Carl was the next best thing.
"Mm?" and a kiss on the forehead were Van Helsing's only replies.
"You sound tired. You should sleep." Carl reprimanded lightly, watching the Hunter from his place on his chest.
"If you're in my arms every night, I think I'm in danger of never sleeping again." Gabriel chuckled.
"Am I really that cute when I'm asleep?" Carl asked quizzically, his head tipped to one side.
"Yes, you really are." Van Helsing smiled. His eyes were drifting closed, though...
"Gabriel?"
"Yes." He asked, not opening his eyes.
"Can we talk?"
"What about?" His eyes were just barely open now; narrow, glittering slits that watched Carl intently and affectionately. His hand continued to run up and down Carl's bare back, sending silver thrills down his spine.
"Firstly, about your hand running up and down my back." He muttered, his eyes dilating slightly as Van Helsing's other hand joined the first.
"Oh, one isn't enough for you? You're needy for a Friar." Gabriel purred, his eyes flashing gleefully.
"Not funny. I won't be able to talk if you keep doing that." Carl groaned, dropping his head onto Van Helsing's chest once more.
"Heaven forbid you not be able to hear the sound of your own voice." He chuckled. But his hands did freeze and curl lovingly around his sides instead, bringing him closer. Carl responded by leaving a trail of soft kisses along Van Helsing's collarbone.
"I can hear your heartbeat." He murmured drowsily. And indeed he could; it was steady, strong, unfailing. Dracula may not have been able to dance to it, but Carl's heart could beat along with it without even thinking.
"Is that what you want to talk about? My heart?" Van Helsing asked, incredulous.
"Both our hearts." Carl replied.
"And I can't touch my lover while we talk about our hearts?" He asked silkily, although his hands didn't move.
"You're really quite a smartass." He grumbled back, poking him in the chest.
"But I'm lovable too." Gabriel smirked triumphantly.
"A little too lovable." Carl agreed with a smile. "But really.... can we talk?"
"Of course." Van Helsing said softly, allowing his eyes to drift closed again. But Carl knew he was listening.
So Carl began to talk. It was one of his talents. He could talk forever and still have a lot more to say. That was just his nature; he had a lot of opinions and questions about a lot of things. But one talent most would say he lacked was the ability to draw people in, make them want to listen. Van Helsing didn't agree with them; he could listen to Carl for hours on end and not even know a single minute had passed. Not that he'd ever tell Carl that. Give him an inch and he'd take a mile.
This night Carl took Gabriel across many miles of his soul, letting out things he knew he must've waited an eternity to say. Mostly what he talked about though was how he felt entirely cut off from the world, suppressed and out of touch with reality. But he'd build his own reality and ignore their frustrating one. Shyly, he told Van Helsing about how deep a part of that reality he had become. Whenever the world beat him down with its finite rules and menacing punishments, he'd escape to that other reality where anything was possible. But wherever he was there, Van Helsing was too. He was his protector, his friend... his lover, in some of the most recent times.
"The worst part is coming back from that world. Everything here seems so dull and dirty and sullen compared to what I've created in my mind." Carl finished at last. "But I've always been so afraid to tell anyone about my little 'hiding place.' I'm afraid that they'll call me an escapist and a coward. Cardinal Jinette has been noticing how often I've been escaping into my mind lately... He'd be the one to call me those things. He'd never understand."
"I understand why you do it, though. Everyone has demons they need to hide from." Van Helsing assured him.
"Well what about you?"
----
Don't say I'm out of touch
With this rampant chaos
Your reality
----
"I... have always hidden from myself. Really, I practically live in a dream world. Most people call me murderer, but maybe somewhere out there people call me brave. And the ones that call me murderer would be closer to the truth. Because if people are branded 'coward' for escaping into themselves, then I am the greatest coward of all." Van Helsing rambled quietly.
"But there's a downside to living in a world like that all the time. Eventually, you find its dark corners too. And then you have to escape back to the real world, the world I know all too well. the world full of monsters and sinners and death and darkness... but it's the world I met you in. And so there's got to be some good left in it."
----
I know well what lies beyond
My sleeping refuge
By nightmares
I've built my own world to escape
----
"You know, this whole night has been sort of like a dream." Carl remarked a few minutes later.
"I know what you mean." Van Helsing smiled, his eyes sneaking closed again.
"Gabriel?"
"Mm?"
"I want to keep dreaming."
----
In my field of paper flowers
And candy clouds of lullaby
I lie inside myself for hours
And watch my purple sky
Fly over me
----
Van Helsing wanted to scream with frustration when dawn came on two accounts: one, he had gotten no sleep that night for reasons explained, and two he knew he had to leave Carl. He wasn't exactly sure if they'd been quiet all that night and knew he had to get out of there in case someone came to investigate. He stood and dressed himself, then bent to kiss Carl just once more before he left him sleeping. The Friar took the separation very well; mumbling and groping around for his human pillow, then sighing with satisfaction when he realized he now had the whole of the bed to himself. The Hunter rolled his eyes and made his exit.
"Van Helsing!" He winced at the sound of his name being called by an obviously angry Cardinal.
"Yes, Cardinal Jinette?" He sighed.
"Where have you been? When did you return?" The religious man demanded.
"I returned yesterday but Carl accosted me and insisted that I rest before I was sent off again." He explained as calmly as he could.
"There is no rest for the Left Hand of God." Jinette reprimanded in severe tones. "You're going back to Transylvania today. Apparently when those vampires followed you here they were supposed to dispose of you for their new leader. You need to go back and kill him before he attains power equivalent to Dracula's."
"When do I leave?" Van Helsing asked in a monotone.
"Any time today. I don't want to see you anywhere near the Vatican come sunset." With that, the Cardinal was gone.
Van Helsing trekked back to his room and mindlessly cleaned himself up, lying still for a few moments to regain some small margin of his strength. He knew he should be focusing on his mission, but he couldn't do anything but think of Carl. He replayed the events of the last night over and over again in his head. He feared, irrationally, that if he didn't, they would cease to be real.
----
Swirled all up in the sound
Of my screaming
I cannot cease for the fear
Of silent night
----
"Gabriel?"
"How many times have you called my name in the last day?" Van Helsing laughed as Carl entered the room.
"Let me think..." The Friar's eyes went to the ceiling and he cocked his head to one side, thinking. "Around-"
"Don't answer my question." Gabriel sighed.
"Can I kiss you instead?" Carl grinned devilishly.
"But of course." He chuckled, holding out his arms and allowing Carl to wrap him in a firm, warm kiss. "I'm afraid that's our good-bye kiss."
"What? But Van Helsing, you don't have to worry about destroying each other anymore. I want to be 'destroyed.'" Carl's voice was bordering on a whimper of fear. He really didn't want to lose Gabriel, not now. That would be the cruelest punishment God could inflict on him. Giev him a taste of what he wanted the most, then snatch it away.
"It will be good-bye for the time being if you don't want to come to Transylvania with me." Gabriel replied.
"Transylvania?"
"Yup. Just got my new mission." He began checking that all his weapons were on him.
"B-but Van Helsing, I can't come! I'm not a field man!" He stuttered.
"Well if you're not a field man and you're not a lady [1] what precisely are you?" He smirked.
"I'm a Carl." He beamed.
"Well do Carls like going with Gabriels on missions?" Van Helsing asked mysteriously.
"Do the Carls have a choice?" He asked.
"Not exactly." He smiled.
"I don't want to come on a mission with you. I'd rather be doing other things." He whined.
"You're very naughty for a Friar, you know that?" Van Helsing laughed. Secretly, he was longing for that too. He would've given anything to just stay here with Carl, locked away from the world. But Fate had other plans, and it propelled them both towards Transylvania. A curse lingered there, waiting for Van Helsing to come.
----
Oh how I long for the deep sleep
Dreaming,
The goddess of imaginary light...
----
A/N-- [1] In the London Assignment, Carl is used as bait and when Hyde catches him, he promptly shouts 'I'm not a lady! I'm not a lady!' JSYK!
Urgh, I was so ready to just take the song out and go with it... I'm not so sure, in hindsight, if it really fits. I hope it does!!! I hope the whole chapter works... I had fun writing it! The next one shall be even more fun... hehehehe.... let's say that this will start living up to it's angst genre. Oh, and BTW, all of my lyrics are being done from memory. So if I have anything wrong (I've never understood all the words in Imaginary) please don't yell at me!