Chapter Nineteen
Some Christmas

It was now nearing Christmas Break and all the students were anxiously awaiting either going home and seeing their families or staying at Hogwarts for the Christmas Feast. James and Sirius would be staying at Hogwarts while Peter was going home and Remus was going to be shipped off to St. Mungo's. James, Sirius and Peter knew he was nervous, even though Remus was acting happier than he had in months, so they tried not to mention anything about Christmas. They spent most of their free time (which they did not have a lot of because their homework load was steeper than ever) outside on the grounds having snowball fights with the freshly fallen snow. They worked on the Marauders' Map every chance they got and they had made up names for James and Peter. James would be Prongs, since the antlers of a stag are pointy like the prongs on a fork (it was Sirius's idea, but a good one none the less). Peter would be nicknamed Wormtail (James created that one since rats have tails that look like worms).

James, Sirius and Peter had been given tons of homework over the break. Professor McGonagall was making them read twenty pages in their Transfiguration guide. They had to read about transfiguring animals into furniture, even though they would not be learning that for quite a while, then they had to answer the fifteen questions that followed in essay form. Professor Flitwick was making them practise their disarming spell every night until the break was over. He warned them that he could tell who practised and who did not. They had no History of Magic homework, which was a surprise, but they had potions. They had to list every single ingredient used in making an Engorging Solution. They had to mark down specifically how much was used, when to put it in, how much to put in at a time, and when to allow the potion to simmer until it was ready for use. Remus, on the other hand, received no homework over the break because he was going to be in the hospital. Although, they told him he was going to receive all that work sporadically throughout the year so he was caught up.

On the night before Remus was to leave he was sitting up in the dormitory packing up his last piece of clothing in his trunk. He had stuffed all his books, his wand and caldron under his bed so he had room in his trunk. Truth be told, he was not nervous about it at all until this very moment. He had remembered what Professor McGonagall told him. Unless he had a reliable healer performing the operation, he might not come out alive. His stomach flipped over as he thought of that. He thought back to when he was eight and first learned he was a werewolf. He had some insane healer that they had to throw out of the room and then get a new one. He did not want that to happen again, this time it depended on the healer if he was going to make it out of the hospital. He then thought about not being a werewolf anymore. He could definitely live with that, not having to go through those painful transformations the rest of his life. December twenty fourth was the next full moon. He had to have the operation the day preceding the full moon so they could make sure that it was successful right then and there.

The dormitory door opened and in came James and Sirius (Peter had already left) they were talking quietly and holding the Marauders' Map in front of them. They looked up and saw Remus.

"So," James said, in his most casual voice. "All packed?"

"Yeah," Remus answered.

"Do you want to look at the map?" Sirius said, quickly changing the subject. Remus shook his head. Sirius shrugged and pocketed the map.

"Nervous?" James asked.

"I wasn't at first, but now I am."

"Its normal. You're never nervous about something until minutes or hours before it actually happens. But don't worry, you'll be fine. We were just down in McGonagall's office and asked her if we could visit you in the hospital once everything's done. She said it'd be good if we did." Remus grinned and decided to call it a night. Sirius and James went back down to the common room.

Remus woke up the morning at six. He dressed into his muggle clothes (a green jumper, jeans and an old pair of sneakers) he picked up his trunk and headed down to the Entrance Hall, where he would meet Professor McGonagall. When he go to the Entrance Hall he saw Professor dressed in a muggle skirt and shirt (he could hardly keep himself from smiling, she looked very strange as a muggle) and next to her he saw his cousin, Bertha. Was she going with them? He really hoped not.

"Good morning Remus," Professor McGonagall said tiredly.

"'Morning Professor," Remus answered kindly. "I was wondering... what's my cousin doing here?"

"She is taking the train home. She was supposed to a couple of days ago with the other students but she had detention." Remus nodded and Professor McGonagall led them towards the giant double doors. There was a single carriage waiting there for them and they filed inside. They took a long bumpy ride down the grassy slope that led towards Hogsmeade station. Upon arriving Professor McGonagall instructed Remus and Bertha to find somewhere to sit and she was going to talk to the driver. Remus took the compartment at the very front and, to his disgust, Bertha had to sit with him. Professor McGonagall said they would arrive at Kings Cross in a matter of two hours. From there Bertha would go with her mum and dad (they would be waiting there) and Professor McGonagall would bring Remus to St. Mungo's.

Remus fell asleep and was being roughly shaken awake two hours later by Professor McGonagall. She told him they were at the station and his cousin had already left. Good, Remus thought. They exited the train and through Platform 9 ¾. They looked around and Professor McGonagall saw a Ministry car pull up. She explained that that was going to be their transportation from the train station to the hospital. They got in the car and saw the driver was innkeeper at the Leaky Caldron, Tom. He said good morning and disappeared behind the driver's seat. Remus took a book out of his trunk and began to read.

Two hours later he heard the car come to a halt in front of a building. Remus looked at it. It was an old run down with dust and cobwebs on the outside. In the front window was an old doll. Professor McGonagall walked up to it and said, "Wotcher." The eyes on the doll snapped open and looked at Professor McGonagall.

"Business?" it asked.

"Mr. Remus Lupin has a scheduled operation." The doll paused for a few minutes and then said

"Please come in." The glass melted away and Professor McGonagall instructed Remus to walk through. Feeling as though someone might notice, Remus stepped through the glass and instead of finding himself in a window box; he was standing inside a lobby. It was a yellowish white colour and there were rows of brown squashy seats and a front counter with a squat little witch sitting at it. Professor McGonagall instructed Remus to sit down while she signed him in. Professor McGonagall came back a minute later and told Remus to follow her. She led him down a stark white hallway where there were oak doors with golden numbers on them. They stopped at room 24 Professor McGonagall opened the door and stepped aside so Remus could go in. Remus stepped inside and saw that it was a pure white room with one bed covered in white sheets and there was a healer in the far corner of the room fiddling with his wand. He looked up as he saw Remus walk in. He smiled and walked over.

"Good morning Professor McGonagall, Remus," the healer said.

"Good Morning Griemer," Professor McGonagall replied. "You do remember why we're here, of course?"

"Certainly. A werewolf aye? Don't worry my brother was one, so I know what its like. You just take these." He gave Remus a pair of green hospital clothes. "And step into the bathroom over there to change." He pointed to an oak door that was spray painted white over next to a potted tree. Remus went in and came out three minutes later wearing the hospital clothes.

"We have to start immediately," Griemer said. "This is our first time ever attempting this surgery on a real werewolf so we want to start as quickly as possible so tomorrow we can test it out." Remus nodded nervously. He was their guinea pig. They had never done this before and Professor McGonagall was allowing them to try on a twelve year old. "Two more healers will be coming in so I think its best we knock you out now."

He told Remus to get into the bed and wait. Remus did as he was told and watched as Griemer concocted a sleeping potion that would put him into a dreamless and painless sleep. He would not be able to feel any pain at all. Unfortunately they were going to have to perform part of the surgery in the muggle way. They would cut his stomach open with a scalpel (because the DNA resided there) and use their wands for the rest. Griemer finished mixing up the potion and put it in a goblet and gave it to Remus. Remus drank it and instantly felt a heavy sleepiness overtaking him. His eyelids felt heavy, closed and he felt and heard no more.

Remus woke at nearly midnight. The operation had taken the entire day because the doctors were so nervous they would screw something up that they would regret. In that case they were extra careful. Remus looked over to the window and saw the half moon's light falling through the window casting light over his bed. He looked around and saw that he was by himself; Professor McGonagall and Griemer had left. He dropped his head on his pillow and tried to remember what had happened after he had fallen asleep.

He had taken the potion and almost instantly fell into a dark, deep sleep. It was actually very peculiar. He was in nothing but a tunnel of blackness. He could not hear or see anything. He could not hear Griemer or Professor McGonagall. He had not a clue as to what they were doing to him, he would not have even mind if he felt a sharp pain or something. It was not a thing like going to sleep, he would have preferred if it had not been a dreamless sleep. Dreams would have kept his mind off the whole operation.

Remus laid his hands on his stomach and felt something rigid. He pulled his blankets off him and lifted his shirt a little. He saw a white bandage going across the lower region of his stomach. That was where the healers made the incision, Remus said to himself. Just as Remus was about to nod off again the ward door opened. Griemer and Professor McGonagall tiptoed inside, thinking Remus might be asleep, and switched on the light. Even so Professor McGonagall whispered, "Remus?" Remus groaned in acknowledgment. Professor McGonagall sighed in relief (Remus wondered why) and walked over.

"Thank goodness," she said breathlessly. "We thought for a minute..." she broke off and Griemer continued for her.

"Well we thought we might've messed up a bit," he said hesitantly. Remus gave him a questioning looked. "Well one of the healers nearly took out one of your lungs. I told them we shouldn't have used a beginner for this kind of operation... but they never listen to me... well anyway we got it all fixed up... but... you're not going to be able to leave here for a while. Serious complications... although you might be able to leave by the end of the week! Depends on the full moon tomorrow... I'll be back later to discuss it with you Professor." Griemer bowed his head and walked out. Professor McGonagall drew up a chair and sat down.

"Are you feeling alright, Lupin?" she asked quietly. Remus nodded his head slowly. "All I have to say, Mr. Lupin, is that you were very brave. Not many students your age would try something like this, risking their live that is. I know this does not involve academics in any way, but I am going to award Gryffindor fifty points." Remus grinned at the thought of Snape's face when he realised how far behind Slytherin was. "We got an owl from your uncle," Professor McGonagall continued. "He and your cousin will be visiting you tomorrow. I have to get back to the school. Good night." Professor McGonagall stood up walked through the open door and disappeared down the deserted hallway. Remus leaned back on his pillows and glanced at the clock beside his bed. It was nearly one in the morning. Slowly, he closed his eyes and fell, once more, to sleep.

Remus woke in the mid afternoon the next day. There were gray clouds floating aimlessly outside and pouring sheets of snow onto the already snow covered ground. Remus wondered whether his uncle had already been there, but he figured they might have gotten preoccupied and forgot about him (which was not difficult for them). Remus remembered that Professor McGonagall said his cousin would be visiting, he prayed that it was not Bertha. But then again Professor McGonagall would say Bertha, if that were whom she was referring to.

The doorknob on his hospital room door began to turn. Oh great, he thought, my uncle's here. The door opened and sure enough Uncle Albert walked in. Except he was not with Bertha, he had Anna cradled in his arms. She was cooing and stopped when she saw Remus. His uncle walked slowly into the room and took the seat McGonagall had sat in the night before.

"So," his uncle said quietly. "How are you feeling?"

"All right, I guess," Remus answered tiredly. Truth be told... he felt much worse than he did after a transformation. His limbs were stiff, he had searing pains in his lower stomach and he felt as tired as ever... but he did not want to show it. His uncle smiled and so did Anna.

"Well," his uncle continued. "We can't stay here for that long... I just thought I'd drop in on you and see if you were okay or not. I have to go now Remus, bye." Remus did not even say goodbye he just nodded. Well that was a short and boring visit, Remus thought angrily. He barely said five words to Remus before cutting out. Remus thought they probably would not care if anything happened to him during the operation. Then he remembered Griemer's words, "Well one of the healers nearly took out one of your lungs." If his uncle had heard that he would have thought twice about staying for such a short time. Remus did not know how long he would be there; Professor McGonagall said he could be there up to a month! A month by himself in this room, he would go insane!

He soon realised throughout the day, that the only time he would have visitors was when the nurse came in to give him his meals. Other than that, unless McGonagall, Sirius or James came to see him, he'd be by himself. A little while before the sun set Griemer came in to see Remus. He told him that if the operation was not a success they were keeping him for a month because that meant something had seriously gone wrong and they would have to correct it. It was nighttime now and Remus was dressed in his muggle clothes and out in an open field that at about one hundred yards away from the entrance was a barbed wired fence. The area was secluded from all muggle eyes and this was where he would stay if he made his transformation. The healers were watching from the hospital windows with a pair of omnoculars.

Remus walked around in circles, trying to keep the bitter coldness away from him. He was breath was coming out like smoke from his mouth and he was furiously rubbing his hands together trying to stay warm. He looked up at the sky. The sun was gone and the full moon had yet to come out. The clouds were being gusted across the sky as the wind blew at nearly one hundred miles per hour. The cloud blocking the moon shifted and the full moon's rays of light fell gently on the face of Remus. Remus crossed his fingers, praying with all his might that the experiment had been a success. That the healers had done their job.

Remus felt the familiar jolt of pain in his stomach. He felt as if his limbs were being ripped from his body, when in actuality they were steadily growing larger and larger to accommodate his werewolf self. He felt his ears travel slowly up the side of his head and turn a grayish black colour and turn into a triangular shape. His teeth grew longer and curved at the end forming fangs. His eyes went from brown to bright yellow. Remus's knees buckled and he fell on the ground as his arms became front legs with paws and his legs became hind legs.

The healers stood transfixed at the window of St. Mungo's. They were unsuccessful; Remus was just as much of a werewolf as he had been before. They all felt a sheet of guilt spread over them. They had given a boy who had wanted nothing more than to be normal, false hope. They made him almost believe that he could be normal again, that he could just be a regular wizard with no secret to hide. That he did not have to experience that kind of pain. They watched as Remus prowled about in the enclosed area. Remus ran in circles chasing his tail, he pawed at the barbed wire but ended up skinning his paws. He wanted to get out and run away from everything.

Remus woke up the next morning back in his hospital room bed. It was a dreary Christmas morning, the sky was black and instead of snow falling, it was rain. Remus felt that the weather reflected his mood perfectly.

"It didn't work," Remus muttered. "Why didn't it work? It was supposed to! I wasn't supposed to be a werewolf anymore!"

"Some things can't be helped," said a voice at the doorway. Remus turned his head and saw Griemer standing at the door holding two packages. He walked over and stood next to Remus's bed. He handed Remus the packages and said a would be cheerful, "merry Christmas." Remus ripped the brown packaging paper off of the first gift. Inside was an index card with Sirius' messy handwriting scribbled across it. Remus took the card and it read:

Remus,

Have a holly jolly Christmas, it's the best time of the year... sorry Dumbledore's rubbing off on me. Anyway Merry Christmas and I hope everything goes well with you.

Your friend,
Sirius.

Remus looked at the present. It was a giant book titled, Pranks for Every Day Use. That was a first, Sirius giving someone a book. Well it was a book about pranks and after all, that was Sirius's favourite thing! Remus then took the other package and ripped the paper off. Inside was a Christmas card with a picture of a sparkling tree on it. Remus opened the card and saw it was from James.

Remus,

Merry Christmas!!! Hope everything goes well with you. I think you'll find your present useful.

Your friend,
James.

Remus looked at the present. It was a wooden framed mirror. Remus flipped it over and on the back James had scribbled, "Just say the name of the person you wish to speak to. Me, Sirius and Peter each have one." Remus had never saw anything like this before. Well it was going to be useful. Griemer said one last merry Christmas to Remus and left the room. Remus decided to try out his gift. He looked at the mirror and said, "James Potter." For a moment Remus only saw himself looking back at him. Then his reflection became fuzzy and he saw James's face slowly forming.

"Hey Moony!" James said happily. "Got our present I see."

"Yep," Remus answered. "You guys got mine I hope?" Remus had sent them each a giant box of trick candy that he had requested they save for use on Snivellus. He had a hunch they would love it.

"Yeah, trick candy! Brilliant! Snivelly will be gagging on that for hours! But anyways... how'd everything go? Was everything good?" Remus stopped smiling and James immediately sensed the operation was a failure. "It didn't work, huh?" Remus shook his head. "Well don't worry! That just makes it all the more important for me, Sirius and Peter to become Animagi. Moony, we really didn't care if it worked or not... we just wanted you to be happy. I have to go... Lily just came into the common room and is walking this way. We'll be visiting tomorrow. See you."

"Bye." Remus took the mirror leaned over his bed to get his trunk, snapped the latches open and placed it carefully inside along with the book Sirius had sent him. Some Christmas, Remus thought bitterly, shut up in a room with no one to talk to. He would have used his mirror but he was not quite sure whether Lily had left or not. He leaned back and looked out the window. He saw a bolt of lightening followed by a roar of thunder. Some Christmas...