The waves hit the docks in a peaceful rhythm, the seagulls that usually bothered everyone having a peaceful walk in Luca were nowhere to be seen, and my precious Paine was walking beside me. What else could I ever wish for? Not much, I thought. But maybe just a little...
I glanced to the night sky, telling her it was beautiful. Though not as beautiful as you, I thought, and then mentally punched myself for such an over-sugary statement. Come on girl, you could at least be original, if not intellectual.
"You like it?" she asked me, referring to the night sky.
"Yeah," I replied. "There's a certain atmosphere when I look at it. It makes me feel – dreamy."
She said nothing to that. I knew she was not a romantic person, she maybe felt uneasy talking about this kind of things. But as long as she didn't tell me not to, I thought I could just as well go on.
"It always reminds me of this one night during Yuna's pilgrimage," I said.
Paine glanced at me, arching an eyebrow.
"The night that Lulu and I talked, I mean really talked, for the first time. It was in the Thunder Plains. You know I used to be scared of lightning, and that night I was so scared I couldn't even sleep."
I was not sure if she was even interested. I paused for a while, but she still said nothing.
"You've seen her, when we first visited Besaid with the Gullwings. She's going to be a mother soon... Well, she always was the motherly type. That night, when I told her how scared I was, she – she acted like a mother that I never had. I guess that was when I fell in love with her."
If the news shocked Paine, she showed none of it out.
"I never told her, though. First I just lacked the courage, and then she was already together with Wakka. So I knew she's straight and utterly out of my reach. Yuna asked me to stay with her in Besaid, but I could not. I did not want to see the woman I loved every day, happily together with someone else. I went away, to travel around Spira and forget all about her, but it didn't work too well, anyway."
I glanced at Paine, who blinked her eyes a little more rapidly than usual. I was surprised to see a bit of her softer side. She obviously didn't want anyone to know she had one.
"It felt a little strange to visit Besaid again, to see her again. When Yuna walked into that tent, I thought I would not follow. And when I did, I tried not to cry."
I was more than surprised to feel Paine's hand on my shoulder. Just for a brief while, and she seemed unsure of what to do, but that felt unbelievably good. I glanced at her and smiled, tears in my eyes.
"I know what you're talking about," she said slowly. "I also have feelings for someone that... someone that's out of my reach."
I was not sure if I wanted to hear this, but I stayed quiet.
"You know about my past in Crimson Squad. Even back then I thought he was a sweet boy; so polite, and he kept his act together no matter what. When Nooj always depressed everyone around him, and Gippal always irritated everyone by being such a kid, he was everything I could ever wish for. Then, our paths parted, and I didn't see him for a while – until recently, as we visited the praetor of New Yevon in Bevelle."
"You're in love with...Baralai, right?" I inquired, though not because I would have needed to.
A sweet boy, so polite, and kept his act together no matter what. So there went your chances, girl, kiss them goodbye. You just heard a list of her dream, and that's what you're never gonna be.
I was fighting tears again, but tried to sound just the ordinary myself.
"So... Why exactly is he out of your reach? Why not just walk up to him and tell him you're in love? That's what I would do if I was you," I said.
"Yeah. You probably would," she said.
It took me a while to figure out what she meant. You're not that kind of person. Should have guessed, I thought. I was getting tired and depressed, and I wanted to get home. Unfortunately, I had told Brother to pick us up tomorrow morning.
"Um, Brother's not gonna come back until tomorrow morning. You have any ideas where shall we spend the night?" I asked.
We went to a hotel, and I didn't have enough gil for two rooms, so we took one with two beds. After all the showering, teeth brushing, pillow-turning and fighting over who's going to sleep in which bed, we finally said good night. I stayed awake, however. After a good half an hour I whispered,
"Paine? You awake?"
Her breath sounded stable, she hadn't been moving for a while and she did not answer me.
"Good night, my love. I hope you sleep well," I whispered.
I turned my back on her and wondered why my vision blurred.
A/N: Sorry, still no lemon... :( But hey, I'm trying to create a plot. And their fun wasn't much fun whatsoever...or at first it was... oh well. But I'll be back for more OK?