!#$& I'm not okay(I promise)&$#!

(Hello. Sorry I haven't updated in a while. I just switched schools and I had to catch up with all that work and then! They wanted to send me to south oaks, for those of you who don't live on Long Island it's a pyshicatric(cant spell) ward. Have you ever heard of the band him? Well I had there song 'Join me in death' on my binder. With a couple of Jack Off Jill songs. So they thought me and (well they thought I had a boyfriend) were thinking about suicide...these people REALLY need to mind there own buiness. Ok im gonna stop now. This chapter's song is Im not okay(I promise) by my chemical romance. I seriously dislike them all except that song. But its my friends favorite song and band and todays her birthday so. HAPPY SWEET 16 HESSIFER!!!!! Her real name is heather its just me, and all her really close friends call her that and heafer......And I know what your thinking. I should be shot for going on and on and on with useless bable when theres a chapter to be written...am I right? Okay...ON WITH THE STORY!!! ::cheering::) Jhehe look it's a smily face!!! Really im done now...

Well if you wanted honesty

That's all you had to say

I never want to let you down

Or have you go

Its better off this way

For all the dirty looks.

Eleni had fought with herself back and fourth for the past week, on weather she should give Zack a second chance. She really liked being with him. And she really loved the song. But she didn't want to get hurt again. She was thinking about calling Zack and Katie, and talking to both of them about this, when she heard a voice calling her. "LENI!! COME DOWN HERE! ITS TIME FOR YOUR THEREPY SESSION!" When she got out of the hospital. The doctor recommended therapy or King Park Pyshciatric. She didn't really feel like missing out on a whole chunk of her teenage years. There the best years of your life. So she went with therapy. Granted that if she ever cut again(they checked during there sessions)she would have to go to the ward. So she stayed clear of that by her trusted rubber band.(so she could snap it on her skin instead of cutting) "Alright im coming."

For photographs

your boyfriend took

Remember when

you broke your foot

From jumping out the second floor.

"So, Eleni. Is there anything that bothering you today that we should focus on?" "Not that I could think of Dr.Calvo."

"Ok then how about how you feel about this whole thing that has just happened to you, lets talk about this. From the start of the problem"

"Do I have to?"

"Would you rather be in the ward?"

"No!"

"Then im listening."

Eleni sighed at this. She really didn't feel like talking about it. She thought she might actually cry if she had to go back to remembering it.

"Well. About a month ago I guess it was, I went to my boyfriends house for our usual movie/pizza night.(I don't know if this is what I said before but forgive me because I forgot what I said before ( ...) In the middle of the movie he says 'Hey El, theres something ive been meaning to tell you for a while' he said while getting a bit fidigty. I know its not good news so I say what? With tears filling up with my eyes. He says. Ive been seeing someone else, for two years. So I scream at him, that's basically the same amount of time that we've been going out. And he says sorry but its over. So then I say Fine whatever, whos the girl? And he says Summer. Who was my best friend. Kinda sorta, at the time I guess. Anyway then a couple of days later. Hes on the news with the kid I had a date with that night and it says both of them are dead. I go to there funeral's blah blah blah I come home. Im stressed and then I cut my leg shaving and it felt good. So I decided if I did it on my wrists and deeper. I'd feel even better. So that's basically the gist." It took her about 45 minutes to say the whole thing, through crying, and points where she didn't want to continue but did anyway. "Ok, hmm well that's all the time we have for today, but maybe we can talk about one problem at a time every session? Does that work?" "Sure" "Ok great, ill see you in a week." "Yeah, see you"

Im not okay, Im not woahkaay

Im not woahkaay. You wear me out.

When Eleni got home, she went upstairs to her room and dialed Zack's number. "Hello?"

"Hey is Zack there?"

"This is him, who's calling?"

"Its Eleni."

"Oh HEY!!"

"Hi, Uhm ive been thinking about your question"

"And?"

"And...and I accept" She said a little unsure of what she was doing.

"Really? OMG THAT'S SOOO GREAT!"

"Yeah, Eleni and Zack back together, has a nice ring" She added getting a little used to the fact that this is what might make her happy so she should go with it.

"Ok well, El im really sorry but I gotta go I gotta take my cousin to the store."

"Oh, ok"

"Ill talk to you later I promise."

"Ok"

"I love you, remember that!"

"haha, I love you to, and ill remember it always"

"Bye"

"Bye"

What will it take to show you that

That its not the life it seems

(im not okay)

I told you time and time again

You sing the words

But still(im not okay) don't know

what it means

To be a joke and look

Another line without a hook

I hold you close while we both shook

For the last time

Take a good hard look

After that she decided to call Katie.

"Hello?"

"Hey, is Katie there?"

"THERES NO KATIE HERE PLEASE STOP CALLING!" The lady was crying and seemed shook up about something.

"Uhm, sorry I must have the wrong number, but could I ask whats wrong? You seem awfully sad?"

"JUST STOP CALLING!!!!!!!" the lady shouted. And then hung up.

Hmm.. maybe I did dial the wrong number. Eleni thought to herself. She decided to go take a shower. She came out an hour later, wearing her Winnie the pooh PJ's and saw her brother yelling at someone on the phone. "Listen lady! I don't know if you just moved in with them and you're her grandma and are trying to protect her from people but she's my girlfriend so KINDLY PUT HER THE FUCK ON THE PHONE YOU STUPID WHORE!!!"

"..."

"ASSHOLE! They hung up on me" He shouted at Eleni. "Uhm, who were ya calling?" She asked trying to get her brother from screaming at her about the lady. "I was trying to call Katie but this dumb bitch wouldn't give her the phone she kept saying 'THERES NO KATIE HERE STOP CALLING!!!' and she was crying. What a retard is it really that hard to handle a telephone conversation?"

"Freddy, I tried calling Katie earlier and got the same lady, maybe her phone line got crossed or we both dialed the number wrong or she changed her number." "No El, I was just talking to her yesterday" "Freddy those things can change in a matter of seconds, and what you should do is call that lady and appoligize, she might have a lot on her mind I mean she was crying, and it wasn't because you were yelling at her. When I called her she was crying to" "Fine, whatever, I don't care at the moment. I JUST WANT TO TALK TO KATIE!" "Why do you want to talk to her so bad?" "Well for one shes my girlfriend and I love her, and for two she went out with a bunch of people from her job and she wasn't sure where there taking her and im just scared." He answerd. And Eleni saw a little tear go down his cheek. Quickly he wiped it away and said "Im gonna go watch a movie, wanna come?" "Nah im fine. Im just gonna do some homework I guess." Freddy left and went downstairs and Eleni got her journal out from under her bed.

Im not okay, Im not woahkaay

Im not woahkaay. You wear me out.

Forget about the

Dirty looks

The photographs

Your boyfriend took

You said you read me

Like a book

But the pages are

All torn and frayed now

'Dear diary,

Today was really weird. I had my first therapy appointment and then when I came home I called Zack, and after hearing his voice. I really wanted to go back out with him again so I told him I would. Then I was gonna call Katie but I got this really weird crying lady. I thought I must have dialed the wrong number so I decided to take a shower and figured id call her later. Anyway when I come out of the shower. I see my brother yelling at this lady and then he was hung up on so he started screaming. I told him the phone lines are probably crossed or something. Then he explained why he was so frustrated and needed to talk to her. I hope shes okay. I mean she probably is shes Kaite. Oh well ill try her cell later. ::smacks self in head:: DUUH!! Me and Freddy could have done that all along. O well hes watching a movie now. Im gonna go downstairs and tell him then we'll call Katie, we'll probably end up watching the movie together and falling asleep on the couch, So if anything new happeneds with the Katie thing ill give ya the update.

Hugs and kisses

Eleni.

Im okay, Im okay

Im okay now (Im okay now)

But you really need to listen

To me now, because im telling

You the truth I mean this

Im okay, (trust me)

Im not okay, Im not woahkay

Well im not okay im not o'fucking kay

(im not okay)Im not woahkaaaaaayyy

(kaay)

( I might update with another chapter in about an hour? How was this one? Don't kill me if the song sucks please oh yeah and i might update my other story too its been forever since i updated that one bc i HAVE no idea where thats going but o well people seem to like it more so i should probably work on that one b4 updating this one right? tell me what you think. )