Chapter 5 Human-Being Wannabees

A Human Being Wannabee is a thing. A thing that is not human. It wishes greatly to be a human, but it cannot. Take the ten thousand ton weight for example. It wants to be human, but it is simply too weird. Some Human-Being Wannabees look like humans, but do not be fooled, they are not. Yet you should not worry, as Stephen and Goldeen are not Human Being Wannabees. They are just extremely idiotic. Human Being Wannabees can't die completely. They do, but they are sent back to Earth because they aren't human.

Stephen walked happily along the path to the next city, Bulbasaur the Goldeen on his shoulder, Squirtle and Aloof close behind. All of a sudden, a wild Tyrannitar appeared!
Hurry and catch it! It only has one HP left from a previous battle, and let me check the level...IT'S LEVEL 100 FOR HEAVENS SAKE! CAPTURE IT BEFORE IT GETS AWAY! screamed the Pokedex.
"IT ARE AN MEAN DARK POKÉMON! I NO LIKE MEAN! I ONLY HAVE ULTRA BALLS ANYWAY!" So, they continued on their way. A Magikarp flopped into their path. Stephen's eyes grew as wide as dinner plates.
"OH WOWS RAREST POKEMAN IN WORLD I CATCHES IT!"
"Figures," shrugged Aloof. However, the Pokedex identified the Magikarp as level 74. This made them wonder if Stephen was finally onto something.
"BULBASAUR GO!" Stephen picked up Goldeen and threw it at the Magikarp. Magikarp flopped out of the way.
"HORN ATTACK!" Stephen yelled. Magikarp used Splash, and Goldeen ran away in fear of the frightening Splash.
My data shows Magikarp knows only three moves: Splash, Splash, and Splash. The Pokedex explained.
"IT OK BULBASAUR I KNOW YOU WAS SCARED!" Stephen patted Goldeen on the back.
"DUNSPARCE AM GO! USE YOU SPLASH!" Dunsparce tried to flop around, but to no
avail. The Magikarp used Splash, knocking out Dunsparce. It received 1 exp. Point from this victory, which was just enough for it to grow a level. It evolved, and learned Hydro Pump, Dragon Rage, Hyper Beam, and Bubblebeam.

"GOLDEEN AM GOING!" yelled Stephen, who was idiotically not afraid of the gigantic Gyarados. Squirtle put on a pair of Squirtle Squad Sunglasses and said,

"Squirtle." Squirtle jumped onto the back of Gyarados, while Gyarados was busy firing Dragon rage. It fired attacks around, looking for Squirtle, but Squirtle held on. Gyarados gyrated around, and fired a Hyper Beam at Squirtle. Squirtle jumped off
of Gyarados' back, and the Dragon Pokémon's Hyper Beam hit its own back. Squirtle then used Hydro Pump by jumping into the air, pulling itself into its shell, and spinning around quickly while firing water out of its shell. Squirtle hit Gyarados, who fell down to the ground, almost knocked out. Stephen threw a Pokeball, but another Pokeball hit it out of the way and sucked Gyarados in. Stephen whirled around to see who had stolen his Gyarados. It was his rival, Obtuse! Obtuse picked up Gyarados' Pokeball and ran away laughing. Stephen continued walking, happy as can be, because his memory wasn't very accurate. Squirtle, on the other hand, was very angry at Obtuse for taking advantage of his hard work. He ran after Obtuse, and caught him inside a Pokeball. With his Ditto cell phone he called Officer Jenny. With Squirtle's digital video editing techniques, he was able to prove that Obtuse had killed Mother Teresa. Obtuse was sentenced to 190 hours of community service a week, and Squirtle got back Gyarados. It was Aloof's birthday, so Squirtle gave it to her as a present.

When they arrived in Outlandish City, Stephen rushed straight to the Vituperation Gym.
"THIRD BADGE ME EARN! NOWS!"

Actually, Stephen, this would be your fourth badge...Stephen ignored the Pokedex, and stormed towards the door, looking for a badge. Unfortunately, the door was closed. BAMMM! He smashed into the door like a bird trying to fly through a window. He slid down the door, unconscious. Someone walked out of the gym. When that person opened the door, it smashed Stephen against the building, causing part of the building to crumble and fall on top of Stephen.
"Did I hear someone challenge me to a badge?" asked the person. Idea, the gym leader, was the one that had walked out. Stephen groaned underneath the cement blocks, behind the door, and smashed against the building. "Oh I see! You're hiding
behind the door, ay? Well I don't blame you for being afraid of the great Idea. However, you may call me by my last name, Ot," said Idea Ot, seeing Stephen's face under the cement blocks. Stephen stood up suddenly, even though five-tons of cement was on top of him. Stephen was dangerous when he was angry.
"ERRR! ME NO SCARE! ME WANT BATTLE NOWS! LET BATTLE I YOU MR. IDEA OT!"
"What did you call me, you puny challenger?" The gym leader demanded.
"Idea Ot!"
"Why you little... Nobody calls me, the great Idea, an idiot! You shall feel my full wrath, now that you have insulted me! To the gym, for a four on four Pokémon battle, with no time limit!" They each ran to the different sides of the gym. Aloof took a seat in the nearby stands.
"BULBASAUR IS GO!" Stephen said.
"Ha! I know that you nicknamed a water Pokémon Bulbasaur so I would send out a fire Pokémon to burn your grass Pokémon so your water Pokémon could have a type advantage! But I am too smart for you! To electrocute your water Pokémon I shall
send out Electabuzz!" He let Electabuzz out of a Pokeball. Squirtle's Bulbasaur ran into the gym and onto the battlefield on Abra's command.
"Bulbasaur!" It said.
"OH WOWS A BALBASAUR I CATCHES IT!"
"A change of plans, ay? You could tell by that I was smart, so you knew that I thought you had nicknamed a water Pokémon Bulbasaur and would have a type advantage to a fire Pokémon I would send out, but I would send out an electric type because I was smart, so you used a real Bulbasaur which is good against Electric types! You used reverse-reverse psychology, which is pretty good for someone stupid like y... Hey!" Stephen was fast asleep. So, Abra read Squirtle's mind as of what attacks to tell Bulbasaur to do. "Electabuzz, use your Thunder Punch!" Bulbasaur used vine whip to tie up Electabuzz's fists, and Electabuzz was unable to punch. "Try Thunder!" The roof of the gym opened up, and the sky filled with dark clouds. Bulbasaur used Sunny Day, and the clouds disappeared causing Thunder to fail. The sky grew bright and sunny. Bulbasaur knocked out Electabuzz with two Solar Beams.
"Hmm. Your Bulbasaur is strong. I must think of what to do." He closed his eyes in thought. Squirtle put his Stephen suit on quickly and hid Stephen and Goldeen in another room.
"Ninetails, go! Flamethrower!" Damp said after he opened his eyes. Ninetails popped out and fired a Flamethrower at Bulbasaur.
"Agility!" Yelled Squirtle from his Ditto Stephen suit. Squirtle sighed silently. Once again, he had to be a surrogate Stephen. Bulbasaur tried to jump out of the way of the flamethrower, but it was too tired from the solar beams. It was too slow, and the Flamethrower hit part of Bulbasaur's bulb.

"BULBA! BULBA!" Bulbasaur ran around on fire. A Chansey ran in and took Bulbasaur to the clinic to be healed.
"Pidgeot, go!" Squirtle held up a Pokeball. The bird Pokémon flew out of its Pokeball, evolved. Ninetails fired a Flamethrower at where Pidgeot was about to fly. Pidgeot used mirror move on it, and the flamethrower shot back at Ninetails.

"Pidjyoooo!" It yelled, as the Flamethrower reversed direction and hit Ninetails. It did more damage because of the Sunny Day. Pidgeot flew into the sky at Mach 2, and it disappeared out of sight. Ninetails looked around for
where it had Human Being Wannabee gone. Human Being Wannabee A question mark Human Being Wannabee appeared over Human Being Wannabee its head Human Being Wannabee.
"It's above you!" Shouted Ide a, but i t Human Being Wannabee was too lat e. Imakuni's Arcanine kicked his stupid infrared Human Being Wannabee mouse for Human Being Wannabeegoing crazy and Human Being Wannabee messing up theHuman Being Wannabee chapter. Imakuni's Arcanine bought a new mouse and skipped to a point when Squirtle has a Pidgeot out and two other Pokémon left, and Idea only had one Pokémon left.

"You may be my only hope, but I know that you can win! Go, Gyarados!" shouted Idea. A red light shined, and a Gyarados appeared on the field. A glass tank rose around the battlefield, and up to the roof. Gyarados used surf to fill it up.

"Jyoooo!" Pidgeot flew up above the rooftop. Gyarados finished, and the rest of the roof opened. The stands and trainer boxes rose up, and now Gyarados and Pidgeot were now on a completely different field: they were on the rooftop with a giant glass tank full of water in the center, and they had the whole sky above to battle in. Damp said,

"It's my gym, I change battlefields if I like. Gyarados, use Twister!" A hurricane shot out of the pool, and hit Pidgeot. Pidgeot was sucked under water.

"Jyoo...blubblub, Pidgeot said. Gyarados used bite on Pidgeot's wing, and Squirtle recalled Pidgeot before it could drown.
"Here Squirtle, use this," Aloof said as she handed him a Pokeball.

"Pokeball go!" Squirtle threw the Pokeball into the air. Out of it popped a snake-like figure.

Stephen: "WHO AM POKEMAN THIS?" A snake-like figure is shown.

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Stephen: "IT IS BE ARBOK!" Arbok appears in the snake-like figure

Gyarados popped out of the Pokeball.

"Gyarados, use Dragon Rage!" Idea shouted.

"You too, Gyarados!" Both Gyarados began swirling around in circles. A giant hurricane appeared between them.
"Gyarados, pull him into it!" Squirtle and Idea shouted in unison. Both Gyarados dove underwater to try to pull the other one into the hurricane. The stands were lowered a bit so that the trainers could see inside the water tank. One Gyarados tackled the other, and knocked it into the hurricane. The hurricane pushed that Gyarados up, and the stands rose again. Gyarados balanced on top of the dragon rage in midair helplessly.
That's Squirtle's Gyarados, explained the Pokedex. The other Gyarados shot a Hydro Pump at Squirtle's Gyarados, knocking it off the edge. Squirtle returned before it could fall 16 stories and die on the second page. They each had one Pokémon left. SUSPENSE! Who would win?

Insert Intermission Here

Squirtle thrust his final Pokeball into the air, and a smiling sphere popped out.

"Electrode!" Electrode said happily. It fell into the water. Electrode did not like water.

"ELECTRODDDDDE!" Electrode exploded, electrocuting the whole pool. The pool exploded. Both Pokémon were returned to the Pokeballs as a tie match, but this was not the problem. The gym was exploding.
"Pidgeot go!" Squirtle's strong Pidgeot appeared. "Everyone get on Pidgeot!" Squirtle said. Everyone climbed on Pidgeot, who flew them a safe distance away from the gym. They all got off, and watched as the gym explode. Water crashed through the gym in every direction, completely destroying the gym. The water rushed into the sewers, and the smoke cleared.
"Hey, where are Stephen and Goldeen?" Aloof asked. She eyed the others warily. Squirtle jumped up in remembrance.
"They're still inside! Delibird, go! Go get Stephen and Goldeen!" Delibird went inside to look for them. Squirtle took his Stephen suit off, confusing Damp. Everyone stared at the gym, and five minutes that seemed like an hour passed. Delibird finally emerged from the pile of rocks, carrying Stephen and Goldeen. Delibird dropped them on the ground. Squirtle pulled out his cell phone and dialed 911. Squirtle gave it to Aloof so that she could explain their emergency. However, when Squirtle felt for a pulse on the two, he felt nothing.