Guys? Have you noticed something weird with FF.Net? Specifically, I can't put triple full stops on the site. It merely turns to a single full stop. Weird, huh?

I don't own this. Unless I happen to be the unknown heir of the vast Nintendo empire, and no one's bothered to tell me yet. Nah.

Reviewer Responses:

NintendoGamer: Scuffles? Well, depends on what you mean by scuffles...

Warpstarmaster122: I make no promises. ^_^ Seems you have enough problems with Dullahan already. I'll leave you alone. For now. MweheheheheheheAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Ahem. Sorry.

Magical Mage: Of course! It's pretty obvious some people just get no lovin'. Oh, well. Sucks to be them. And more djinn? I'll think about it.

8BTFreek: Hey, you deserve some "reward" for reviewing my works so often. Here's chapter two!

xT-Zealot: Yep, updating. (I like the word "yep" for some reason.)

JokersSpecter: My works are unworthy to be compared to the sheer brilliance that is THE BEST GOLDEN SUN FIC EVER! But thanks for the compliment!

Jupiter Sprite: Eh, you might want to cover your eyes when you read the later chapters, then. And concerning Felix... well, just wait and see!

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Monday

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

"So, Sheba was unwilling to commit to a boyfriend?" Isaac mused thoughtfully as he paced around the room. Mia, sitting in a chair near the back, nodded.

"Yep. She claims that it takes up too much spare time."

"And what else did you find after that?"

"Well, after that, we were about to continue our conversation when the Djinn managed to create a tri-elemental ball of psynergy, and send it heading to Mt. Aleph. That also explains the crater you saw on it when you woke up this morning." Jenna interjected.

Isaac raised an eyebrow. "I wonder..." Snapping his fingers, he looked around the room, disgusted. "Where's Ivan?"

"Still sleeping. Of course." Jenna said as she leaned back in her chair. "For someone who's a ball of pure nuclear energy when he's up and moving, it sure takes him a long time to get started."

"So? Why can't you go wake him up?" Isaac questioned.

"I've already sent Garet to do just that." She replied with a smile.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

"Come ON, Ivan!" Garet growled. "It is two in the afternoon! Get up!"

"Mmmphtstx." Came the reply from under the pillow, where Ivan had chosen to bury his head after hearing Garet bellow for the first time.

Resisting the urge to punch something, Garet glanced around the (pink) bedroom, trying to find any suitable way of prying Ivan out of bed. The crowbar had been pretty effective, but after ten minutes or so, it had snapped. The toothpicks? Nah. The various rugs scattered around the room? Nope. Then wha-

The lightbulb turned on in Garet's head, and scurrying over to the door, he rapped on it twice.

"Why, hello!" Garet said in a much more pleasant tone than hethought he could muster, given his current condition. "Come on in! Oh, hi, Sheba! What are you doing here dressed in nothing but your underwear?"

"WHAT?! LEMME SEE! LEMME SEE!" Garet smirked to himself as a tangled bundle rolled out of the bed, with the yellow top bumping it's head rather hard against the side-table in the process. Before Ivan could extricate himself from the tangled lump, Garet had shot off a fireball that incinerated the bedsheets. And the bed, for that matter.

"Ow..." Ivan muttered as he rubbed his sore head. And before he could get any further, Garet had marched over, seized him by the hair, and dragged him to his feet.

"Alright, no more sleeping. Go. Eat. Brea- Lunch. Now." Not bothering to listen to Ivan's complaints, Garet shoved him out the door in one swift motion.

Staggering out onto the walkway, Ivan reflected to himself on just how much his life sucked. But hey, it's a given fact that life sucks. The only thing you can do about it is to roll with the punches.

Kinda like how Ivan just missed his footing and is currently rolling down the stairs.

Um, excuse me a minute, would ya?

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

The river of Vale flowed through the entire town. Now, given that the town was by no means "level", the river poured off into waterfalls at several levels. And behind the largest waterfall, the one leading directly to the plaza, there was a secret recess behind it. A cove, if you will. It was completely cut off from the outside world, and thus, it was a good place for solitude. And as we know, people scheming always need solitude. Well, unless said schemer is a criminal mastermind bent on world domination. Criminal masterminds always have a deep, inborn need to announce their plans to the world at large, generally through a news broadcast.

Then, it is left to the hero-of-the-moment to tell the diabolical fiend that his scheme would never work. And then it would be the criminal mastermind's turn to say that it already had.

But I digress.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Felix was, by no means, a criminal mastermind. But that wasn't from any lack of brains whatsoever. Rather, it sprung from the fact that he didn't have an army of loyal but technically worthless henchmen, a nigh-invincible but dumb-as-bricks bodyguard, an idiotic fawning toady, and a weird accent. Always the accent.

But then, he wasn't too concerned with actually ruling the world. His mind was more preoccupied with how to get Sheba to fall for him. And currently, he was banking quite a lot on his master scheme.

"First," He spoke to the empty room behind the waterfall. "I'll have to get Ivan out of the picture." Doodling slightly on his notepad, he grinned. "And I know just how to do it."

Slipping the notepad into his pocket, he left the waterfall, chuckling to himself.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Ivan whistled to himself as he drummed his fingers against the wooden desk of the shop, trying to keep his temper in check. After eating more of Garet's horrendous "cooking" (leftovers from yesterday), he had been promptly sent to this tiny store on the outskirts of the town to grab some aspirin for Garet's mom.

"I dunno why she needs me to come all the way here." Ivan snorted as he glanced around the rundown shop. "There's a perfectly good medicine shop in the plaza."

Just then, the old man who ran the establishment appeared at the counter. "Ah, a customer!" He beamed. "And what'll it be, lad?"

Not bothering to speak, Ivan handed the list of ingredients to the man, letting his mind wander. Okay, so the "perfume" hadn't been too successful. However, Picard had told Ivan that he had a new scheme that could not possibly fail.

"I shudder to think of the outcome." Ivan said to no one in particular.

Just then, the shopkeeper reappeared, carrying a box. "Here you go, laddie."

Nodding his thanks, Ivan tossed a bag of gold coins to the man, and exited the shop.

And was promptly clubbed over the head from behind.

Ooh, that's gotta hurt.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

"Okay, so, tell me, Picard." Isaac questioned. "Exactly what does this plan of yours involve?"

Picard glanced around, pausing to glare suspiciously at the lamp on the table, before slipping a rolled-up piece of parchment out from his robes. Relieving Picard of the item, Isaac slowly unfurled it, raising an eyebrow as he did so.

"So?" Picard asked. "Is it to your liking?"

"Well, uh," Isaac began. "It's very well detailed... but, um, where would you find these many ice-cream sticks, Picard?"

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

"You're still mad."

"Shut up."

"C'mon! It was an accident!"

"An accident!? You call blowing up part of Mt. Aleph an accident? Excuse me, Breath, but I think that collecting the psynergy of three different elements, and uniting the djinn to get enough energy to fire a blast of psynergy strong enough to blow a crater in a mountain is a lot more than a simple accident, Breath. Do you have any idea how much they want me to pay in reparations?"

Breath sighed and hopped onto Sheba's head. "Alright, alright, mistress. We'll help you repair the damage. Don't get too flustered over this."

"Thanks for your support, Breath, but-"

"Oh, and maybe I can get the other djinn to help too!"

"Um-"

"Yes! It's decided! I'll get all the other djinn from everyone else to chip in! We'll restore the mountain in no time!"

"But-"

"Oh, look at the time! Better get started!"

"I- hey, wait! Come back!"

With a sigh, Sheba sank onto her bed, arms crossed. Breath had already flown out of the window, presumably to find the other djinn.

"I shudder to think about what havoc they're going to wreck." Sheba murmured to herself.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Ivan woke up to a rushing sound, the dampness of the ground around him, and Felix staring down on him. Fortunately, his head didn't hurt too much. Unfortunately, from the way Felix was looking at him, that was subject to change pretty soon.

"W-where am I?" That was pretty much the first thing that popped to his mind. Felix didn't bother to answer.

"You." He said, pointing. "You are all that stands in my way."

"What are you talking about?"

Felix didn't even appear to have heard Ivan. "I sacrificed so much! I cannot fail now, do you hear me?!"

"Ooookay... Felix, you are starting to scare me here."

"You don't understand, do you?" Felix practically screamed at Ivan. "That's why you are not worthy! That is why you cannot have here!"

Ivan took the time while Felix was ranting to sit up. Then he blinked. He was apparently somewhere behind Vale's waterfall. In a tiny cave somewhere. What made this cave special, however, was the fact that it was completely filled from ceiling to floor with pictures of-

"Sheba?"

That seemed to get Felix's attention. "Yes, Sheba!" He snapped. "All this time everyone was so concerned about you! They think that you and Sheba should go together! But did they think about me?! Did they think about my unrequited love for her? No, they didn't!"

Ivan stared around the room. There were pictures of Sheba doing almost every conceivable thing. (Not that. Perverts) Sheba eating, Sheba drinking, Sheba talking, laughing, ... sleeping?!

"Um... Felix..." He began, trying his best not to antagonize the Venus Adept. "There is a fine line between love and obsession." He raised an eyebrow as he caught sight of a picture of Sheba doing nothing at all in particular. "And, uh, you crossed that line about five miles back."

Suddenly, he felt himself being grabbed and slammed back into the wall. "You don't understand, do you?" Felix hissed. "I have suffered in silence ever since we first met! She never understood how I felt for her! She never reciprocated! And now, you! You! You dared to try to win her heart! When I am the only one deserving of her love!"

Ivan gently tried to push Felix away. "Okay, then. Tell me, what exactly have you dragged me here for?"

"A duel. To the death."

"What?!"

"You heard me. The only way we can settle our respective differences is to fight it out."

"Um, wouldn't a slightly less... violent method be better? You know, like cards or something?"

"There! There! You see now? The true heart of the matter! You are not willing to defend your love for her!" Backing up several steps, Felix continued, raving wildly. "And you consider yourself worthy of Sheba, of perfection?! I laugh at the notion!"

Ivan stared at Felix a few minutes, before sighing. "Fine, fine. You'll get your stupid duel."

"Ha!" Felix laughed. "Even if we do fight, you cannot hope to win! I am far superior, both in strength, and psynergy! Need I remind you, dear Ivan, that Jupiter Adepts are weak to the powers of Venus? I shall destroy you with my psynergy powers, and at last Sheba shall be mi-"

"Gale."

A huge blast of wind filled the cavern, effectively knocking Felix off balance. Even as he fell, however, the sheer force of the wind pushed him further, and further, until he disappeared completely past the silvery sheet of water.

Walking over the waterfall, Ivan stuck his head out, watching Felix sputtering and gasping for breath.

" So, uh, are you ready to reopen negotiations?"

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

"A what?!" Isaac asked. He had heard just fine. It was just that his mind did not allow him to get around the basic idea of just what the two Adepts standing in front of him were currently proposing.

"A drinking contest." Ivan sounded like a tired parent after an entire day of walking around with his kid in a theme park. "Whoever wins is the only one that can court Sheba."

"Ivan, you're underage."

He rolled his eyes. "So were you when you got drunk enough to set fire to Mia's hair."

"Don't change the subject!"

"I'm not sure I am. Anyway, we've agreed to a drinking contest, and we need someone to go buy the beer from the inn. We're holding it in Felix's house."

Isaac sighed. "There's no way I can talk you out of this, is there?"

"Not unless you can convince Mr. Macho here," Ivan jerked his thumb at Felix. "To give up Sheba without a fight."

"No way in hell." Felix said calmly.

"Drinking contest it is." Without a word, Felix turned and strode from the room.

Isaac turned to Ivan, who was busy fidgeting. "You do realize that with your size, it's a ten-to-one on you being able to hold your liquor?"

Ivan sighed. "I know. But I have to try."

"For Sheba?" Isaac said with a smirk.

"For Sheba."

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

"Okay." Garet began. "You two, stop glaring at each other and listen to me. The rules for this match is as follows: The crates of beer, wine, and whatever alcohol we could find are all stacked up in that corner. You two are to drink the beer using these identical mugs from the kitchen. No holds barred, unless it involves hurting someone, in which case you lose. Whoever pukes first, is the loser. Whoever holds his drink in the longest while still consuming alcohol is the winner, and is the only one allowed to court Sheba. Everyone got that?"

"Yep." Ivan said, while at the same time he did his best to ignore Felix staring at him.

"Then take your positions, everyone. Me and Isaac will be the judges, Picard is on alcohol-refill duty, and the girls wanted absolutely nothing to do with this."

Ivan slid onto the chair, looking at his wooden mug in front of him, currently being filled with beer. Sighing, he lifted it to his lips, raised it in a gesture of sportsmanship to Felix (who didn't bother to reply), and began to drink.

Garet settled down next to Isaac, staring at the two adepts quaffing the alcohol down as fast as they could. "A drunk Jupiter Adept?" He mused. "This should be interesting."

Isaac merely grunted in reply.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

"Alright, Breath. You've called us here, and we've come." Gust, spokesman for the rest of the Djinn, said. "So, for what reason have you summoned us to this meeting?"

Breath nodded. "Okay, before we start, I want to ask you: Are your masters and mistresses aware you are here?'

Gust shrugged. "Ivan is. I never lie to him. However, most of the others are probably too busy with the drinking contest to realize we're gone."

"Drinking contest?'

"Never mind. So, what's the reason?"

Breath cleared her throat and hopped over to the wall, in which she had scratched out several rough drawings on it. "If all of you will focus on this plan here-"

"WOOHOO! PLANS? I LOVE PLANS! PLANSPLANSPLANSPLANSPLANSPLA-"

"Fever, shut up. As I was saying, the plans here show a detailed graph, a timetable, several drawings, and finally, a success meter per day."

At this point, Blitz coughed. "Yes, sister. This is all very fun. But from what you said earlier this afternoon, we're supposed to help rebuild the part of Mt. Aleph we blasted away-"

"You WHAT?!"

"Eh, it was only a little scratch."

"More like a crater." Cannon muttered under his breath. "A rather large crater."

"Shuddap. Anyway, we are now here to discuss how to repair it. But what are the plans going to do?"

Breath blinked. "If you fail to plan, you plan to fail. Now, if you'll turn your attention to this figure, you'll see the majority of damage is concentrated in the Southern side..."

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

"You look a little green around the gills, midget."

"No more than you, prissy boy."

"You're younger than me, and this is the first time you've ever consumed so much alcohol in such a short time. Face it, Ivan, you can't win."

"Yeah? I will win! You just *hic* wait!"

Garet raised an eyebrow. "Phase one, the drunkenness emerges."

Isaac noted something down in his notebook. "I think they're about even, so far."

"Yeah, but they've just started. Wonder how they'll do about three hours later?"

"You honestly think they can last that long?" Isaac said disbelievingly.

Garet shrugged. "Who knows?" Out of the corner of his eye, he noted that Felix and Ivan were once again trading insults.

"You're a prissy *hic* blondy! You *hic* shuck!"

"Yeah? Well, you *hic* have the smarts of a *hic* walrus!"

"Yeah? Well... you, uh, you smell bad! So there! *hic*"

Garet sighed. This was going to be looonngg night...

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

"Alright, so Mud, Steam, Forge, and Whorl, you're on lookout duty that day. You can't let any humans near the construction work during the construction period. Tonic, Petra, Shine, and Gasp, you're in charge of the rigging. Everyone else, you know your duties, so step to it!" Breath rapped out. All the djinn snapped to attention, and hopped, waddled, flew, or basically moved towards focusing on their individual tasks. Except Gust. He had already hopped beside Breath, and was now looking at her with disbelief.

"So that's the real reason you called us here? For this?"

Breath laughed. "Yep! And even actually blowing up part of Mt. Aleph was all for the master plan."

"You are a genius."

"Tell me something I don't know."

Gust laughed. "Well then, best of luck." Turning, he let the tip of his head crest touch against Breath's, the Jupiter Djinni's equivalent of a high-five.

I wonder how Ivan's doing? Gust thought.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

"Are you my *hic* daddy? Whee..."

"Hey! No csheating! There'sh... not shupposhed to be three of you drinkin'!"

Garet sighed as he stared at the too goofballs still slamming down alcohol. "Phase two. This is the part where our wives usually make us break it up, right?"

Isaac nodded slightly. "Uh-huh. And without the barrier, I wonder just how further those two can go."

Garet shrugged and began doodling in his notebook. Just then, there was a flash of psynergetic light, and Picard appeared in the room, carrying two more crates of alcohol.

"This was the last batch the inn possessed." He said wearily. "The innkeeper said he was amazed that we needed so much beer for a simple party."

Garet shrugged. "Well, then the Vault inn. From the looks of things, this battle isn't ending any time soon."

Picard turned to observe the two Adepts still drinking. "Quite frankly, I am baffled as to how neither of these two have thrown up yet."

Isaac shrugged. "What can you say? They seem pretty serious abou- Ivan? What are you doing?"

Garet snapped out of his doodling immediately. "Ivan? Hey, stop climbing on the table, Ivan. Hey, wait, what are you doing? No, Ivan, do NOT take those off! Ivan, DON'T!"

"AHHHHHH! My eyes!" Isaac howled. "My virgin eyes! Gahhhhh!!!"

Picard settled down in a chair next to Isaac. "I fear I have suffered irreparable damage to my mental systems."

"Me too, Picard. Me too..."

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

After the little *cough* incident, it was decided by the judges that since it wasn't against the rules, Ivan wouldn't be ruled out. But neither of them could do so again. Ivan was then forced to drink an extra penalty cup while Picard left to get more beer from Vault.

Meanwhile, with the djinn...

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

"Yes, Salt. That certainly is a brilliant scale model. However, it is upside down." With a sigh, Breath tossed the paper back.

Salt stuck her tongue out at Breath. "Hey, is it my fault you stuck me with Gel and Fever? Those two are completely insane!"

"Hey! Wanna go do something stupid?"

"Yeah! Let's go eat icecream!"

"Dude! That is so totally scrapping! Woohoo!"

Salt rolled her eyes. "I rest my case. Under the circumstances, I did the best I could."

Before Breath could reply, an explosion was heard. Along with the sounds of two djinn arguing.

"Scorch! Don't weld it now!"

"Hey, how was I supposed to know you hadn't cleared out the explosives yet, Mr. Hail?"

"Well, you might have read the sign that said "Danger, Explosives", might you not?"

"Details, details..." Scorch muttered as he hopped onto a pile of lumber being hoisted up.

Breath shook her head as she stared at the chaos around her. They would need lots of luck to get it completed...

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

"I love you! Hug *hic* me!"

"Shtay away from *hic* me, you shicko freak."

"Daddy doesn't love *hic* me anymore! Waaaahhhh!"

"Okay, I am officially scared now." Garet muttered to himself as he crossed his arms.

"I was officially scared when Felix managed to recite "Twelfth Night" in perfect English one hour ago, Garet." Isaac responded.

"At this point, I'm not even sure what phase they're on anymore."

Just then, Picard warped in, staggering under the weight of several more crates of beer.

"This... is all the... Vault inn has left." He managed to groan out, before dumping them on the floor.

Isaac scratched his head. "This is not good. At the rate we're going, those two are going to clean out all of Angara's alcohol before the night is through.

"What then, fearless leader?" Garet asked sardonically. Isaac bit his lip. Maybe...

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Two hours later…

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

"I am simply overwhelmed by the sheer amount of alcohol they have managed to consume." Picard mumbled to himself, half in shock. Beside him, Isaac grimaced as he stared at the vast number of empty crates in front of him. "I think we're going to need Garet or Jenna to burn all these things later."

With a sigh, Isaac turned back to watching the two adepts still chugging back beers.

Wait… what was Felix doing?

With a lurch, he staggered backwards, eyes wide. Isaac and Picard nimbly skipped out of the way, as Felix bent over the empty crates and-

Well, figure it out yourself. I really don't want to describe what happened.

"Well," Garet laughed. "I think we have a winner!" He slapped Ivan on the back. The young Jupiter Adept slowly staggered to his feet, before swaying. Garet managed to catch him as he fell.

"Huh, he's a lot lighter than I thought." Garet said as he lifted the unconscious body up. "And in any case, I'm surprised he hasn't thrown up-"

"Urp!" Splootch!

"Yet." Garet finished lamely as he stares at the stinking mess all over his tunic. Sighing, he motioned for Isaac to take Ivan, and grabbed some tissues.

"Well, I suppose the outcome of this match is rather clear." Picard said in a perky voice.

"Indeed." Isaac said as he tried to nudge the door open with one hand. "Ivan wins, and Felix can't try to win Sheba's heart, under his own agreements."

"Well then, I believe we should be getting to bed." Garet let out a stifled yawn. "And tomorrow, we can do whatever it is we want to do."

"G'night, all." Isaac said sleepily as he exited Felix's house, an unconscious Ivan still in tow.

Picard sighed to himself as he watched a drunken Felix still staggering around the house.

Gripping the Venus Adept's shoulder, he hauled him up the stairs, before finally shoving him into his room.

Shaking his head, he let himself out of the house.

""One thing." He whispered to himself as he walked down the hill to his own residence. "You never have to worry about boredom in this place. Never ever."

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

End Monday

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

So, how'd you like it? I'm worried I made Felix a bit too extreme in the last chapter, but, oh well!

Read and review, okay? Thanks!