Chapter eight. well, sorry it's taken so long to post these, as I just
kinda stopped for exams (grr. stupid teachers), then I couldn't get the
internet, then FF.Net was down (grr, again.) .
Disclaimer: Come on. I DARE you. Sue me. (wow, is that a dare or double dare?)
Chapter VIII yétamir Nalta
[look into the mirror]
I walked along the forest paths aimlessly, not having any destination in mind. I felt the occasional shiver run down my spine as I noticed passing elves stopping and staring at me, and I did all I could to hold my head high as I passed them, bidding them perhaps a greeting. I did not even have an idea as to why they could be staring. true enough, I was a girl and not wearing a dress, but instead trousers, but still, I am quite sure they had seen another woman before in trousers, even if it is not common in this age. How I wished I was in a faërie city. there, they didn't mind what you wore, be it a short skirt, a long dress, or pants; indeed, it was wonderful not to be judged on what you wore or who you were related to. You were only what you were in heart, not in material worth. Sheesh, nowadays, it doesn't matter who you are, it's what you look like and what you can do for the war effort. Sad, sad, sad.
I knew before the end of the week, someone would question my brief placement in this fellowship, be it someone inside its circle or amongst the elves here. I wondered what I was going to do as of now. Would I. could I join the Fellowship? I did not know if I wished to, for indeed, I could not go to Mordor with them, if indeed they decided to journey there, and what if they went to Gondor? I shuddered at the thought of being surrounded by Men of Gondor, for indeed they were too proud and cunning.
With notable exceptions, of course. Aragorn was noble, proud as well, but not to a fault. Maybe it was his Elvish upbringing, but he knew when to admit he was wrong. Really, he was the only person with whom I fully trust my life to, in this Fellowship. Boromir is too proud, I think. And I know he desires the ring, though he tries in all vain attempts to resist its will. Had times been different, I think I could have called him friend, but then that always remains: My heart does not trust him. Fact, I think I might feel sorry for him, when I'm not scared of him. He's big, he's tall, and he's intimidating (but maybe that's my height talking.).
The hobbits were so young and innocent, I don't think they really knew what they were getting themselves into when the joined this quest of theirs. True, they were competent enough, and a pleasure to be around as companions- for the short time I have known them- but I don't think they could complete this journey, let alone have gotten this far without all the aid of their friends. Pippin was my favourite, he was always cheery, and he always could find a way to put a smile on my face, His innocence was refreshing.
Gimli, though stubborn as a mule, I'm sure is caring when he wants to be. He just seems so. I don't know, gruff. And threatening. And I think he knows. maybe he even did before Legolas, I'm not sure. I don't have anything against dwarfs, for indeed, though we had no rapport to them as we did with elves, they were always nice. And got along well with the Olvaralië, the earth faëries, who loved mining as much as the average dwarf.
Frodo, how I pitied him! I truly felt sorry for him, for how could one like him hold out so strongly against the will of the Ring? His burden must be tenfold how I feel as of now, and I truly felt heartened that he had such a strong will to continue, even though Gandalf is not here to help him. The Ring he wears around his neck, however, leaves me much frightened. Has been almost a week now since the last nightmare woke me from slumber, and only because I have dared not sleep. Though I wished to help him carry his burden, I also cannot get near to the Ring! Some help I would be in any case. Perhaps I could ward off ill dreams of others, but I could do none for my own. Perhaps I should talk to Galadriel about them, for she has many healing powers, maybe she could teach me something. But every time I look at her, my heart turns to ice as I remember Alassëa.
But the last member, Legolas. About him I have no coherent thought. I do not know if I trust him, or fear him. I still jump when I realize he's beside me, and more often that not I have found myself avoiding walking near him. But at the same time, I would rather be near him than near another elf of Lórien, even Haldir, whom once I had known and trusted. I guess I could not even begin to figure him out, for every time I think of him my thoughts go hot and cold, and I cannot decide whether I like him or not.
Hah, heaven forbid I should fall in love with him. Ha!
I sighed heavily as I approached my favourite tree to climb, and set my cloak at the base of the large trunk; one simply cannot climb trees in long skirts and/or cloaks, as I found out the hard way when I was much, much younger. I climbed the lower limbs of a tree, hopping lightly from branch to branch. I smiled as I reached the highest branches, feeling a slight breeze whistle through the golden leaves, and landed lightly on a smaller branch.
"Fancy meeting you here, my Lady." A soft voice whispered, and jumped around to see Legolas sitting lazily on a branch slightly above me. I must have lost balance in my shock, for my foot slipped off the branch and fell backwards. A hand shot out to grab me, but it missed as well.
Since I had no choice, I spread my wings, catching the air swiftly as I slowed myself down, landing almost as lightly as I had intended on a lower branch. I thanked Galadriel most humbly for the bare backed shirt that saved me from the long fall, one that would have hurt, quite substantially at that, I realized as I peered down from the high tree.
A figure fell down to the side of me, and I turned dazedly as the concerned face of Legolas came into view.
"Are you alright? Surely I did not expect you to be startled as such, had I known."
"Shut up, Legolas." I said, smiling ironically at the thought of him being worried.
"Are you okay?" He asked again, cautiously, holding my arm as I peered over the branch of the tree again, starting to feel somewhat frightened now that I could clearly see how far I would have fallen. Only luck would have it the only tree I climb in all of Lórien would have to be the tallest.
"Hmm? Oh, yeah, quite fine, thank you." I said as I leaned away from the edge, my heart starting to beat quite quickly, even though I was in no danger of falling again. I looked back to where Legolas was kneeling on the branch, his arm still firmly holding my own. His eyes, however, lo longer were focused on me. but rather my wings, as I peered back, that still fluttered from my shoulder blades.
I moved my arm away from him slowly, chills running down my spine as I saw the way he looked at them, and felt how he did not let go right away. His eyes stared at my wings, as if he was drawn to them. Subconsciously, I could understand where he could draw such a fascination, for in all things elves could do, they could not fly. But I trembled at the way he stared at them, but whether the look was one of amazement or something else, I could not tell. He raised his other hand and slowly reached out to touch one. His warm fingers brushed up against them, sending shivers again down my spine, but not unpleasant ones.
Suddenly, he looked back to my eyes, and he seemed to snap out of it. He let me go, and to my surprise, he blushed faintly, as he averted his eyes. His hand left the gossamer wings, and I could not help but feel disappointed, shocked though I was.
"My apologies, I did not mean to frighten you, nor stare."
"You should be!" I cried, anger rising in my voice. "I could have fallen to my death! Then who would have had to clean that mess up? Me!!" I said, giving him the coldest look I could muster. When I saw the look of regret on his face, I couldn't contain my laughter.
"Oh, Legolas! I'm only kidding, you daft cow!" I laughed, and smiled even more when he smiled too. "It wasn't your fault, and I'm fine, so don't worry about it!"
He smiled once more, and leaned back against the tree trunk, as I stood up and stretched my wings quickly before letting them fold and conform to my back. I couldn't help the blush of my cheeks as I saw Legolas looking at me again, and suddenly I felt quite exposed, wishing I had not left my cloak at the base of the tree.
"What's it like? To be able to fly amongst the skies, I mean," He asked, sounding a little shy himself as he cautiously guarded his expressions and carefully chose his words.
The question caught me off guard, for I have not -to this day- been able to properly describe it to anyone who could not fly themselves.
"Well. It differs, I guess. when you're big, it feels like your gliding though the air, like a bird, although it's tiring and isn't done much anyways. but when you're small." I paused and looked up to the sky, which was ablaze with the colours of the sunset. A small smile appeared as I tried to find the words to properly express the feeling, as well as remembering when the last time I had been small enough to fly as such was. "When you're small, it's like you're a feather, being blown gently by the wind. It's like floating down a river, but then it's also as if you could walk across it, barely touching the surface. It's like commanding the air around you to do whatever you want, push you wherever you want to go. but I'm rambling." I said as I turned and sat back down on the branch, my legs hanging off the edge.
"Sounds wonderful," he said quietly, and I turned back to see him, eyes closed, relaxing along the branch.
"It really is, though not as amazing as it used to be," I returned, being drawn into my thoughts once again. "The last time I had flown was a long time ago, when Alassëa was little."
"Who is Alassëa? You have mentioned the name before." he asked, opening his eyes and sitting up. I stopped and cursed myself for letting her name slip, and felt tears start to well up in my eyes as the memory stabbed into my consciousness like a knife.
"Please, do not ask me of her to tell. If you truly wish to know, please ask Galadriel, for she will tell you. I fear I cannot speak about it." Legolas nodded, but confusion shown in his eyes, as well as questions I knew he wanted to ask, but refrain from doing so.
In a way, I was sad he did not press the issue, uncomfortable though it was to speak of, I wanted someone to tell, some shoulder to cry on, and I felt right now that only Legolas could be that shoulder. My heart ached that I could start to grow attached to him so quickly, when not a half hour beforehand I knew not whether I liked him or was scared of him. Was it just because I was lonely? I mean, he was the first elf that I had spoken to in a long time, and one who had accepted what I was at that.
It was only a child's crush, or so I told myself. But I knew it not to be true.it couldn't be. I was far past a child, having had a child of my own already.
"I think we should be heading back now." I said quietly as I looked up to see the stars glowing brightly above. "The other's will start to worry."
"I wish to remain a little longer," he said, and I nodded. I was about to spread my wings again [for now that I had opened them, I longed to fly once more,] and float down, but his hand on my arm stopped me.
"I don't mean to pry or offend, but I would like to know, even a little about Alassëa. she seems dear to you, and I simply wish to know if she was one of your kin, perhaps?" he asked, cautiously again, and his eyes took on a caring edge, as if this deeply disturbed him. I unfolded my wings, and peered down to the ground.
"It's lost in translation: she was my Hínacárië. Galadriel will tell you what it means in your tongue."
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Haíthwen was sitting against a tree trunk, merely gazing into nothingness when Frodo came back to the talan where the fellowship all slept. He sat down beside her, content in the momentary silence that surrounded them.
"Are you ever scared? About what you have to do, Frodo?" she spoke in a soft voice, still staring at some point in space. He nodded slightly, then sighed.
"Most of the time, though I wish I could say differently."
"What do you think is worse? Thinking that what you may need to do might harm others, or knowing that what you have to do will hurt yourself?"
"Now there's a riddle and a half for you. I don't think I understand what you mean." he said, looking at the indifferent face.
"Ah. You see, that's my problem, too, I don't know what I mean either. If you ever figure it out, come explain it to me." She said, smiling, and he chuckled slightly.
"I think I saw you. in Galadriel's mirror." He said, caution slowing the words as he looked at her face. She wasn't much of a beauty; indeed, she looked like any other girl he had seen, except for the odd violet eyes and silver-grey hair that fell in strange wisps around her face and neck. Where the girl he had thought was her, in the mirror, seemed different, the resemblances were striking, mainly the eyes and hair. Her face was glowing with confidence, and around her hairline were strange crystal markings, starting at her forehead and trailing down her ears and neck.
"What did you see?" Haíthwen asked as she nodded sadly and turned finally to look him in the eye.
"You were holding a large crystal sword, and you had pale wings. You were facing a Ringwraith, and then strange gem-like markings started glowing on your forehead and neck. You then flew to Mordor." He said, leaving out the part where he saw her lifeless in a dark room. He just sat there for a moment, judging her reaction. Her eyes widened for an instant, then acceptance flew through her features, rendering her face neutral once again.
"Why would I go to Mordor?" she asked herself aloud, reflecting on things that had no words.
"Will you continue on with us if we do go to Mordor? Or will you stay in LothLórien, perhaps?" he asked, fiddling with the chain around his neck. She seemed not to see this, and bowed her head, staring now at her hands, folded in her lap.
"Honestly, I would not go to Mordor unless I felt someone's life was in danger that I alone could help. Then again, these aren't exactly times where we can say we stick to our morals.I don't know, Frodo. I don't think I could do all that. Could you? Do you think you can go all the way to Mordor, past all Sauron's Orcs and monsters and throw the Ring into the fire?" Frodo was quiet for only a brief moment before he spoke.
"I know it seems like a lot to hope for, 'specially for me, but how could I wish this upon anyone else's shoulders? I've set out and come this far, and I'll do all I can to keep going and destroy it." He said confidently, his eyes shining with bravery and courage. She smiled weakly, and nodded.
"Just do the best you can do, Frodo. No one expects more than that, and everyone around you is very proud that you've come this far already. I just hope that, if I am in a position like your own, I should have as much courage and hope as you have now." She got up swiftly, and Frodo followed her, feeling the need for sleep nag at his brain. One lingering worry crossed his mind, and he took off the chain around his neck.
"Can you take the ring to Mordor?" Frodo asked, less a question of 'would you' more so than an accusation of 'could you'.
She turned back to him, her hair whipping around her face as she quickly spun around. She looked at the Ring offered to her in his hand, and her skin blanched visibly, even in the reduced light. He stepped closer to her, and was surprised that she took a step back. A shaky hand raised as if to reach for it, but it was quickly brought back as Haíthwen took another step back.
"I-" She trembled as if frightened immensely, and she covered her ears as if to stop someone from shrieking in her ears. "I. I-I don't.no," she said unsteadily, closing her eyes and wincing. "No. Please. p-put it away," she pleaded, and Frodo closed his hand around the ring, quickly slipping the chain over his head and underneath his shirt.
"Are you okay?" he asked warily, for he had yet to see a person afraid of the Ring, save perhaps Gandalf, but still at that time when Gandalf was faced with the option he seemed vehement against it being in his possession. A couple tears fell down her face as she turned away from him.
"Yes. I. I mean no. I mean. I have to get out of here," she said wretchedly, seeming to fold inside of herself. In less than the second it took for Frodo to blink, she seemed to disappear, completely fading away, only the soft light of a glowing orb left in her place. Soon that too was gone as it burned through the trees away from him.
Frodo sat down heavily, worry the thing that both compelled him to follow the light and the thing that kept him where he sat.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Galadriel was walking through her gardens with Legolas, talking to him about a great many things when the silver orb zoomed by them, stopping and circling Galadriel before it landed on her shoulder. Nothing more that a ball of light with wings attached the size of a small apple, it tangled itself in her hair and clung tightly to her, much to Galadriel and Legolas's amazement.
"What is it?" Legolas asked, amazement stunning him for the second time that day. Galadriel frowned and touched the ball.
"Not so much of what, but who," she said as she kept walking down the path, leaving Legolas to his own conclusions. He looked at it again, and gasped.
"You mean. it is Haíthwen?"
"Yes. You need not worry, she can not hear you. Until she turns back to her normal size, she can not hear, speak or see, she can only sense. I worry; she would not be this size unless something is terribly wrong. poor thing."
"Do you know what troubles her?" he asked, concern hidden if not for Galadriel's knowing gaze. A brief smile turned once again to a frown, and she stopped.
"Frodo tried to give her the Ring." She whispered as she stroked the light softly. Legolas recoiled, and an issue formed in his mind. Galadriel knew the question before it was asked, and she shook her head. "No, she will never submit to the Ring's lure. No faërie that still draws breath could ever desire its power." She said, stressing the words like an unheard threat. "The One Ring is what killed all the faëries of old. Haíthwen hears the cries and screams of her people when the Ring is near, she fears it. much like she does elves." She warned Legolas as she walked away from him, and he turned as well, leaving the gardens to return to his friends.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Disclaimer: Come on. I DARE you. Sue me. (wow, is that a dare or double dare?)
Chapter VIII yétamir Nalta
[look into the mirror]
I walked along the forest paths aimlessly, not having any destination in mind. I felt the occasional shiver run down my spine as I noticed passing elves stopping and staring at me, and I did all I could to hold my head high as I passed them, bidding them perhaps a greeting. I did not even have an idea as to why they could be staring. true enough, I was a girl and not wearing a dress, but instead trousers, but still, I am quite sure they had seen another woman before in trousers, even if it is not common in this age. How I wished I was in a faërie city. there, they didn't mind what you wore, be it a short skirt, a long dress, or pants; indeed, it was wonderful not to be judged on what you wore or who you were related to. You were only what you were in heart, not in material worth. Sheesh, nowadays, it doesn't matter who you are, it's what you look like and what you can do for the war effort. Sad, sad, sad.
I knew before the end of the week, someone would question my brief placement in this fellowship, be it someone inside its circle or amongst the elves here. I wondered what I was going to do as of now. Would I. could I join the Fellowship? I did not know if I wished to, for indeed, I could not go to Mordor with them, if indeed they decided to journey there, and what if they went to Gondor? I shuddered at the thought of being surrounded by Men of Gondor, for indeed they were too proud and cunning.
With notable exceptions, of course. Aragorn was noble, proud as well, but not to a fault. Maybe it was his Elvish upbringing, but he knew when to admit he was wrong. Really, he was the only person with whom I fully trust my life to, in this Fellowship. Boromir is too proud, I think. And I know he desires the ring, though he tries in all vain attempts to resist its will. Had times been different, I think I could have called him friend, but then that always remains: My heart does not trust him. Fact, I think I might feel sorry for him, when I'm not scared of him. He's big, he's tall, and he's intimidating (but maybe that's my height talking.).
The hobbits were so young and innocent, I don't think they really knew what they were getting themselves into when the joined this quest of theirs. True, they were competent enough, and a pleasure to be around as companions- for the short time I have known them- but I don't think they could complete this journey, let alone have gotten this far without all the aid of their friends. Pippin was my favourite, he was always cheery, and he always could find a way to put a smile on my face, His innocence was refreshing.
Gimli, though stubborn as a mule, I'm sure is caring when he wants to be. He just seems so. I don't know, gruff. And threatening. And I think he knows. maybe he even did before Legolas, I'm not sure. I don't have anything against dwarfs, for indeed, though we had no rapport to them as we did with elves, they were always nice. And got along well with the Olvaralië, the earth faëries, who loved mining as much as the average dwarf.
Frodo, how I pitied him! I truly felt sorry for him, for how could one like him hold out so strongly against the will of the Ring? His burden must be tenfold how I feel as of now, and I truly felt heartened that he had such a strong will to continue, even though Gandalf is not here to help him. The Ring he wears around his neck, however, leaves me much frightened. Has been almost a week now since the last nightmare woke me from slumber, and only because I have dared not sleep. Though I wished to help him carry his burden, I also cannot get near to the Ring! Some help I would be in any case. Perhaps I could ward off ill dreams of others, but I could do none for my own. Perhaps I should talk to Galadriel about them, for she has many healing powers, maybe she could teach me something. But every time I look at her, my heart turns to ice as I remember Alassëa.
But the last member, Legolas. About him I have no coherent thought. I do not know if I trust him, or fear him. I still jump when I realize he's beside me, and more often that not I have found myself avoiding walking near him. But at the same time, I would rather be near him than near another elf of Lórien, even Haldir, whom once I had known and trusted. I guess I could not even begin to figure him out, for every time I think of him my thoughts go hot and cold, and I cannot decide whether I like him or not.
Hah, heaven forbid I should fall in love with him. Ha!
I sighed heavily as I approached my favourite tree to climb, and set my cloak at the base of the large trunk; one simply cannot climb trees in long skirts and/or cloaks, as I found out the hard way when I was much, much younger. I climbed the lower limbs of a tree, hopping lightly from branch to branch. I smiled as I reached the highest branches, feeling a slight breeze whistle through the golden leaves, and landed lightly on a smaller branch.
"Fancy meeting you here, my Lady." A soft voice whispered, and jumped around to see Legolas sitting lazily on a branch slightly above me. I must have lost balance in my shock, for my foot slipped off the branch and fell backwards. A hand shot out to grab me, but it missed as well.
Since I had no choice, I spread my wings, catching the air swiftly as I slowed myself down, landing almost as lightly as I had intended on a lower branch. I thanked Galadriel most humbly for the bare backed shirt that saved me from the long fall, one that would have hurt, quite substantially at that, I realized as I peered down from the high tree.
A figure fell down to the side of me, and I turned dazedly as the concerned face of Legolas came into view.
"Are you alright? Surely I did not expect you to be startled as such, had I known."
"Shut up, Legolas." I said, smiling ironically at the thought of him being worried.
"Are you okay?" He asked again, cautiously, holding my arm as I peered over the branch of the tree again, starting to feel somewhat frightened now that I could clearly see how far I would have fallen. Only luck would have it the only tree I climb in all of Lórien would have to be the tallest.
"Hmm? Oh, yeah, quite fine, thank you." I said as I leaned away from the edge, my heart starting to beat quite quickly, even though I was in no danger of falling again. I looked back to where Legolas was kneeling on the branch, his arm still firmly holding my own. His eyes, however, lo longer were focused on me. but rather my wings, as I peered back, that still fluttered from my shoulder blades.
I moved my arm away from him slowly, chills running down my spine as I saw the way he looked at them, and felt how he did not let go right away. His eyes stared at my wings, as if he was drawn to them. Subconsciously, I could understand where he could draw such a fascination, for in all things elves could do, they could not fly. But I trembled at the way he stared at them, but whether the look was one of amazement or something else, I could not tell. He raised his other hand and slowly reached out to touch one. His warm fingers brushed up against them, sending shivers again down my spine, but not unpleasant ones.
Suddenly, he looked back to my eyes, and he seemed to snap out of it. He let me go, and to my surprise, he blushed faintly, as he averted his eyes. His hand left the gossamer wings, and I could not help but feel disappointed, shocked though I was.
"My apologies, I did not mean to frighten you, nor stare."
"You should be!" I cried, anger rising in my voice. "I could have fallen to my death! Then who would have had to clean that mess up? Me!!" I said, giving him the coldest look I could muster. When I saw the look of regret on his face, I couldn't contain my laughter.
"Oh, Legolas! I'm only kidding, you daft cow!" I laughed, and smiled even more when he smiled too. "It wasn't your fault, and I'm fine, so don't worry about it!"
He smiled once more, and leaned back against the tree trunk, as I stood up and stretched my wings quickly before letting them fold and conform to my back. I couldn't help the blush of my cheeks as I saw Legolas looking at me again, and suddenly I felt quite exposed, wishing I had not left my cloak at the base of the tree.
"What's it like? To be able to fly amongst the skies, I mean," He asked, sounding a little shy himself as he cautiously guarded his expressions and carefully chose his words.
The question caught me off guard, for I have not -to this day- been able to properly describe it to anyone who could not fly themselves.
"Well. It differs, I guess. when you're big, it feels like your gliding though the air, like a bird, although it's tiring and isn't done much anyways. but when you're small." I paused and looked up to the sky, which was ablaze with the colours of the sunset. A small smile appeared as I tried to find the words to properly express the feeling, as well as remembering when the last time I had been small enough to fly as such was. "When you're small, it's like you're a feather, being blown gently by the wind. It's like floating down a river, but then it's also as if you could walk across it, barely touching the surface. It's like commanding the air around you to do whatever you want, push you wherever you want to go. but I'm rambling." I said as I turned and sat back down on the branch, my legs hanging off the edge.
"Sounds wonderful," he said quietly, and I turned back to see him, eyes closed, relaxing along the branch.
"It really is, though not as amazing as it used to be," I returned, being drawn into my thoughts once again. "The last time I had flown was a long time ago, when Alassëa was little."
"Who is Alassëa? You have mentioned the name before." he asked, opening his eyes and sitting up. I stopped and cursed myself for letting her name slip, and felt tears start to well up in my eyes as the memory stabbed into my consciousness like a knife.
"Please, do not ask me of her to tell. If you truly wish to know, please ask Galadriel, for she will tell you. I fear I cannot speak about it." Legolas nodded, but confusion shown in his eyes, as well as questions I knew he wanted to ask, but refrain from doing so.
In a way, I was sad he did not press the issue, uncomfortable though it was to speak of, I wanted someone to tell, some shoulder to cry on, and I felt right now that only Legolas could be that shoulder. My heart ached that I could start to grow attached to him so quickly, when not a half hour beforehand I knew not whether I liked him or was scared of him. Was it just because I was lonely? I mean, he was the first elf that I had spoken to in a long time, and one who had accepted what I was at that.
It was only a child's crush, or so I told myself. But I knew it not to be true.it couldn't be. I was far past a child, having had a child of my own already.
"I think we should be heading back now." I said quietly as I looked up to see the stars glowing brightly above. "The other's will start to worry."
"I wish to remain a little longer," he said, and I nodded. I was about to spread my wings again [for now that I had opened them, I longed to fly once more,] and float down, but his hand on my arm stopped me.
"I don't mean to pry or offend, but I would like to know, even a little about Alassëa. she seems dear to you, and I simply wish to know if she was one of your kin, perhaps?" he asked, cautiously again, and his eyes took on a caring edge, as if this deeply disturbed him. I unfolded my wings, and peered down to the ground.
"It's lost in translation: she was my Hínacárië. Galadriel will tell you what it means in your tongue."
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Haíthwen was sitting against a tree trunk, merely gazing into nothingness when Frodo came back to the talan where the fellowship all slept. He sat down beside her, content in the momentary silence that surrounded them.
"Are you ever scared? About what you have to do, Frodo?" she spoke in a soft voice, still staring at some point in space. He nodded slightly, then sighed.
"Most of the time, though I wish I could say differently."
"What do you think is worse? Thinking that what you may need to do might harm others, or knowing that what you have to do will hurt yourself?"
"Now there's a riddle and a half for you. I don't think I understand what you mean." he said, looking at the indifferent face.
"Ah. You see, that's my problem, too, I don't know what I mean either. If you ever figure it out, come explain it to me." She said, smiling, and he chuckled slightly.
"I think I saw you. in Galadriel's mirror." He said, caution slowing the words as he looked at her face. She wasn't much of a beauty; indeed, she looked like any other girl he had seen, except for the odd violet eyes and silver-grey hair that fell in strange wisps around her face and neck. Where the girl he had thought was her, in the mirror, seemed different, the resemblances were striking, mainly the eyes and hair. Her face was glowing with confidence, and around her hairline were strange crystal markings, starting at her forehead and trailing down her ears and neck.
"What did you see?" Haíthwen asked as she nodded sadly and turned finally to look him in the eye.
"You were holding a large crystal sword, and you had pale wings. You were facing a Ringwraith, and then strange gem-like markings started glowing on your forehead and neck. You then flew to Mordor." He said, leaving out the part where he saw her lifeless in a dark room. He just sat there for a moment, judging her reaction. Her eyes widened for an instant, then acceptance flew through her features, rendering her face neutral once again.
"Why would I go to Mordor?" she asked herself aloud, reflecting on things that had no words.
"Will you continue on with us if we do go to Mordor? Or will you stay in LothLórien, perhaps?" he asked, fiddling with the chain around his neck. She seemed not to see this, and bowed her head, staring now at her hands, folded in her lap.
"Honestly, I would not go to Mordor unless I felt someone's life was in danger that I alone could help. Then again, these aren't exactly times where we can say we stick to our morals.I don't know, Frodo. I don't think I could do all that. Could you? Do you think you can go all the way to Mordor, past all Sauron's Orcs and monsters and throw the Ring into the fire?" Frodo was quiet for only a brief moment before he spoke.
"I know it seems like a lot to hope for, 'specially for me, but how could I wish this upon anyone else's shoulders? I've set out and come this far, and I'll do all I can to keep going and destroy it." He said confidently, his eyes shining with bravery and courage. She smiled weakly, and nodded.
"Just do the best you can do, Frodo. No one expects more than that, and everyone around you is very proud that you've come this far already. I just hope that, if I am in a position like your own, I should have as much courage and hope as you have now." She got up swiftly, and Frodo followed her, feeling the need for sleep nag at his brain. One lingering worry crossed his mind, and he took off the chain around his neck.
"Can you take the ring to Mordor?" Frodo asked, less a question of 'would you' more so than an accusation of 'could you'.
She turned back to him, her hair whipping around her face as she quickly spun around. She looked at the Ring offered to her in his hand, and her skin blanched visibly, even in the reduced light. He stepped closer to her, and was surprised that she took a step back. A shaky hand raised as if to reach for it, but it was quickly brought back as Haíthwen took another step back.
"I-" She trembled as if frightened immensely, and she covered her ears as if to stop someone from shrieking in her ears. "I. I-I don't.no," she said unsteadily, closing her eyes and wincing. "No. Please. p-put it away," she pleaded, and Frodo closed his hand around the ring, quickly slipping the chain over his head and underneath his shirt.
"Are you okay?" he asked warily, for he had yet to see a person afraid of the Ring, save perhaps Gandalf, but still at that time when Gandalf was faced with the option he seemed vehement against it being in his possession. A couple tears fell down her face as she turned away from him.
"Yes. I. I mean no. I mean. I have to get out of here," she said wretchedly, seeming to fold inside of herself. In less than the second it took for Frodo to blink, she seemed to disappear, completely fading away, only the soft light of a glowing orb left in her place. Soon that too was gone as it burned through the trees away from him.
Frodo sat down heavily, worry the thing that both compelled him to follow the light and the thing that kept him where he sat.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Galadriel was walking through her gardens with Legolas, talking to him about a great many things when the silver orb zoomed by them, stopping and circling Galadriel before it landed on her shoulder. Nothing more that a ball of light with wings attached the size of a small apple, it tangled itself in her hair and clung tightly to her, much to Galadriel and Legolas's amazement.
"What is it?" Legolas asked, amazement stunning him for the second time that day. Galadriel frowned and touched the ball.
"Not so much of what, but who," she said as she kept walking down the path, leaving Legolas to his own conclusions. He looked at it again, and gasped.
"You mean. it is Haíthwen?"
"Yes. You need not worry, she can not hear you. Until she turns back to her normal size, she can not hear, speak or see, she can only sense. I worry; she would not be this size unless something is terribly wrong. poor thing."
"Do you know what troubles her?" he asked, concern hidden if not for Galadriel's knowing gaze. A brief smile turned once again to a frown, and she stopped.
"Frodo tried to give her the Ring." She whispered as she stroked the light softly. Legolas recoiled, and an issue formed in his mind. Galadriel knew the question before it was asked, and she shook her head. "No, she will never submit to the Ring's lure. No faërie that still draws breath could ever desire its power." She said, stressing the words like an unheard threat. "The One Ring is what killed all the faëries of old. Haíthwen hears the cries and screams of her people when the Ring is near, she fears it. much like she does elves." She warned Legolas as she walked away from him, and he turned as well, leaving the gardens to return to his friends.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*