DISCLAIMER:
Ryuu: Don't own, Don't sue
Author: But I do own Ryuu and Ryo!
A/N: Here's the long awaited 4th chapter of The 3 R's of Martial Arts! Today we have humor action and...more humor! I'm SO glad everyone has been patient with me. I haven't been getting my chapters out as fast as I would have like. The reason? I've been staying at my Grandparent's place all month...And neither of the 2 sets of grandparents have Microsoft Word...it sucks, big time. And not only that but I have to start another chapter for Confusion...Oh...how the writer's block hurts...Anyway, enough of my ranting! (Ryuu: Finally...) And on with the review responses! Then on with the story!
Ryo's destiny: Dude! I'm glad you enjoy the story. There will be plenty of fire...and squirrels...and havoc, definitely havoc...and laughs too, can't forget that... heh...fire...we were due for that anyday now ...Oh and for something that will happen in the chapter please forgive me...I couldn't resist! It was too classic! It was so me! (Ryu: Be afraid...be very afraid...)
avolare: I'm glad. There will always be plenty of humor for my readers.
koala kitty: Yes, Ranma is the weakest of the brothers. Ryo is better in terms of ki attacks. And Ryuu in physical attacks and weapons. Random havoc is what created this fic. And it is what will continue to fuel this fic. Cause lord knows I have absolutely no outline for this fic. It literally writes itself.
Cherryblossom-crystal: If you beg enough I just might let Ranma be with Akane...just kidding. I seriously don't know the pairings...that's why I wrote R/A pairing. You'll have to read and see if they get together or not.
Ranko Urameshi: There will be plenty of fire. Trust me. When the pyro action stops, Ryu has either died or gone into a 10 year coma.
That's all the reviews I received since I wrote and typed this chapter...so now, without further adue...the 4th installment of...
The 3 R's of Martial Arts - Chapter 4/Lunch Time
Ranma walked out of the school to sit by Ryuu and eat lunch. (He jumped out the window cuz he was impatient) Only one thing was bothering him though...
"Why are you so quiet, Ryuu? What are you planning? What'd you break?"
Ryuu pointed behind him, "Why you always assume I broke sumtin' whenever I'm quiet and enjoying the after glow of a good burn?"
When Ranma looked behind the tree Ryuu was leaning against, he spotted the smoldering remnants of a squirrel.
"Your doing I presume, Ryuu?" Ryo asked, appearing out of nowhere.
Ryuu just smiled evilly and nodded his head. He pulled out his bento from his bag and began eating with his brothers beside him.
A few yards away...
"You should go sit with them, Akane," Sayuri said.
"Why?" Akane asked.
"If you're scared we'll come with you..." Yuka trailed off.
"Why?" Akane repeated.
"So we can see your friends close up, that's why!" Yuka said.
"What's so special about them? Besides they're all perverts..." Akane mumbled the last part.
Over by the Saotomes a 19 year old sneezed, "Must everyone talk about me while I eat?"
"Uh, hello! Are you blind or something? They are all so handsome!" Sayuri said.
"Yeah! Did you not see that fight earilier? Ryuu was awesome!" Yuka said, "He's my favorite. He's handsome and he's strong..."
"The fight was awesome, but Ryuu's too much of a showoff for me. I prefer Ryo. He's handsome and smart and the quiet one...they say the quiet ones are good in bed..." Sayuri said, getting a glazed look in her eyes.
"Who the hell are 'they', Sayuri?" Akane asked.
"Um...Yuka, me...myself and I?"
Akane just shook her head, "I still don't see what you guys see. They're regular martial artists..."
"They're regular alright...muscular and cute..." Sayuri said.
"Oh! I like Ranma too. He's cute...and he's even cuter when he's confused. Did you see him in class when the sensei asked him a math question? It was so funny!" Yuka said.
"Oh! And did you see his butt? He's got such a cute butt!" Sayuri said.
Over by a certain tree 3 martial artists sneezed simultaneously.
Akane rolled her eyes, "There's nothing special about them. Looks mean nothing to me."
"Well then, what do you look for in a guy, Akane?" Yuka asked with a sly grin.
Akane just smirked, "That you can buy off my sister."
The two girls groaned and then burst into laughter. Akane once again found herself shaking her head and sighing as she began to eat her lunch.
Back over by the Saotomes...
Leaning back against the tree, his bento empty, Ryuu sighed content and opposed to moving. Ryo sat in a meditating position, ignoring all around him. And Ranma was slowing traveling into dream world where all food is free and at his diposal...it's a dream world alright...
"Excuse me boys," Nabiki said approaching the three.
Ranma, coming out of his dream world and still a bit dazed, looked up from his spot on the ground and immediately looked back down with a deep blush.
Ryo opened up one eye, took one guess, and shifted over a good 10 inches before looking up at Nabiki.
Ryuu saw this and looked up at Nabiki.
"Nice panties...but pink doesn't really suit you..." Ryuu said, his life-rules-but-not-for-you smirk plastered on his face.
"I don't like you, Ryuu," Nabiki simply said.
"I'm glad," Ryuu responded, smirk still in place.
"Anyway, I have a proposition for you b-" Nabiki was cut off.
"A propa-what?" Ranma said.
"A proposition, Ranma. It's like an offer, a deal. Understand?" Ryo explained.
"Uh..."
"Just say yeah, Ranma," Ryuu said.
"Uh...yeah...whatever..." Ranma said.
"Ahem!"
"Huh? Oh yeah, sorry. Go ahead, Nabiki," Ryo said.
"Thanks. Anyway, I need a bodyguard for my business."
Ranma raised an eyebrow at this, "What of business?"
"You've heard of the Ice Queen of Furinkan?"
"Yes, the conniving bitch who blackmails to get what she wants. In other words you Nabiki," Ryuu said, smirking.
Nabiki visibly flinched, making Ryuu's day a whole lot better then it was a few minutes ago when he ate the Kasumi had made.
"Why do you need us, Nabiki?" Ryo asked.
"I don't need all 3 of you. I just need one. I need someone who will willingly give up their grades in school..." Nabiki trailed off.
"Oh! Me! Me! Pick me!" Ryuu said, as he raised his hand and waved it in the air, acting childish. (Or was he acting? Dum dum dum!)
"Alright Ryuu. I'll see how you do. Follow me. I have to deal with Takeda right now anyway," Nabiki said.
"Awesome! A decent reason to cut class! And I thought my day was going to go downhill after the 'Ice Queen of Furinkan' remark," Ryuu said, excited.
As Ryuu walked off with Nabiki the bell rang. Ryo shook his head, thinking back on something, as he stood up to go inside.
"...I can't believe you looked up her skirt, Ranma..." Ryo said.
"It was an accident! I swear!" Ranma shouted.
"Sure it was, Ranma. And Ryuu doesn't kill squirrels for the hell of it either."
"Hey!..." Ranma trailed off as he thought about what Ryo said, "...No one told me about Ryuu killing squirrels for fun! I thought it was only for his bonfires!" Ranma shouted as he ran to catch up with Ryo.
/The Dark Side of The School
(Author: Did Darth Vader just walk by? Ryuu: I didn't see him. Author: I coulda sworn I saw him walk by... Ryuu: Why do you care? Author: He owes 50 bucks from a bet. Ryuu: What bet? Author: A bet saying you wouldn't create a bumper sticker about squirrels. Ryuu: Hey! The "Fried Squirrel Tastes Like Chicken" sticker was popular! Author: Among who? Your voices? Ryuu: Their opinions count! Author: ... )
"I want my money, Takeda," Nabiki demanded.
"I'm not ready to pay yet. Give me five more days," The boy, obviously Takeda, said.
"No. You're a month and a half overdue. I've overlooked you for too long. I want my payment. And I want it now."
"You know, you're beginning to be a thorn in my side, Tendo," Takeda said, venom clear in his voice, "Give me five days...or else."
"Or else what? You'll kill me? I have too much on you, Takeda. You can't hurt me."
"Really?" Takeda sneered.
A knife flew from the shadows behind Takeda, and flew flawlessly towards it's target, Nabiki. The blade was caught by the handle a few inches from Nabiki's chest.
"Wha- who?" Takeda stuttered.
"Actually, Nabiki, you having dirt on him would be more of a reason to kill you."
"Point taken," Nabiki said, gulping as she stared at the blade.
"Nice blade," Ryuu said stepping from the shadows beside Nabiki, "A tanto from Kyoto. Only been used for pratice judging from the wear of the blade..."
"Who are you?" Takeda asked.
"Oh. Sorry, forgot that part. My name's Ryuu. And I'm Nabiki's bodyguard," Ryuu couldn't help but smirk another one of his life rules smirks.
Takeda was a little nerved by this. He didn't expect Nabiki to get a body guard. She was always a loner, you know, one who worked...alone?
"You think you're all tough now because you have a bodyguard? Well news flash! So do I!"
A tall figure stepped from the shadows to reveal a 19 year old boy with spiky black hair and bandages on his hands and most of his forearms.
"Sano!" Ryuu shouted, "Dude, it's been years! What are you doing here? I thought you stayed in Tokyo with Megumi!"
"I did...for awhile. I just got bored. And then Megumi started going on about marriage and babies shudder...I figured it was about time I packed my stuff and got my ass out of Tokyo for awhile," Sano said.
Laughing Ryuu replied, "Yeah, that'll do it to ya."
Nabiki slapped Ryuu in the back of the head, "Well, aren't you going to introduce me to your friend?"
Ryuu thought about it for a minute, "... ... ..."
"Dude, Don't hurt yourself," Sano commented.
Ryuu absently flipped the in the air of instinct...but caught the wrong end.
"Hey, uh...Ryuu?"
"Yeah?"
"You do realize that your hand is bleeding...right?"
"Nope. Didn't even notice," Ryuu said, looking at his hand, still gripping the blade.
Off to the side Ryuu spots Takeda trying to walk away, throwing the knife in his hand he hits Takeda with handle and knocks him out.
"You've improved, Ryuu," Sano said.
"Traitors must die!!" Some unimportant dude dressed like a ninja said, leaping from the shadows and attempting to attack Sano.
Sano turned and punched the guy right in the face. We hear a loud cracking sound.
"I see you've also improved, Sano," Ryuu said.
"No doubt about it!" Sano replied smirking his own version of the life-rules smirk.
"Ryuu?"
"Hai?"
"I think we should go to the nurse now," Nabiki stated.
Ryuu looked down to his bleeding hand and shrugged, "I guess."
As Nabiki turned towards the nurse's ward, Ryuu grabbed Sano's headband and wrapped it around his hand.
"Hey! That's mine!" Sano shouted in frustration.
Ryuu looked at the bandage and unwrapped it, "You can have it back if you want."
"Uh, no thanks..." Sano said as he stared at the bloody cloth that was once his headband, "You can keep it."
Ryuu smirked his life rules smirk, "Thanks. Besides everyone knows you have at least 20 of these things. So I don't know why you're complaining..."
Sano looked up at the sky thoughtfully, "Good point..."
"Can we go now?" Nabiki asked. She had been standing by them waiting and she wanted to get moving.
"Yeah, yeah...let's go Ice Queen..." Ryuu sighed.
As Ryuu, Nabiki, and Sano headed to the nurse, they caught the attention of a certain Saotome up on the 3rd floor.
/Class
Ranma was so fucking bored it wasn't even funny to the taunting voice in his head anymore...you know, the voice who keeps telling him, "Just jump out the window and cut school. It's that easy!!"
He was sitting in History. Staring out the window, he was practically begging the kamis to put some evil plot in Ryuu to cause havoc. Just so Ryuu had a reason to burn the school down.
Istead, he got a small diversion to his painful boredom. He spotted 3 figures walking towards the school. He recognized them to be Ryuu, Nabiki, and...
"Sano?" Ranma spoke outloud in surprise.
The sensei spoke, "I know you're bored Mr. Saotome. But you could've at least stayed silent for the last five minutes of class."
"Gomen nasai, Sensei," Ranma said, mumbling something incoherent afterwards...something about- (Author: OO Ranma! Ranma: What? Author: Your language! Ranma: I didn't say anything Ryuu's never said before. Ryuu: He's got you there... Author: I give up...)
/Nurse
"What do we have here, Mrs. Tendo?" The Nurse asked as Nabiki entered followed by Ryuu then Sano.
"We have one knife wound, and nothing more," Nabiki answered.
The Nurse nodded, "Who's the one injured?"
Ryuu stepped forward, "That would be me ma'am."
"What's your name young man?"
"The name's Ryuu."
"Ah, the new student. Starting trouble on your first day are we?" The Nurse said grabbing some bandages.
"No, I wasn't trying to start trouble. I was saving Nabiki from being stabbed in the chest, is all," Ryuu stated in his defense.
"You caught it by the handle, Ryuu..." Nabiki started.
"And then you flipped it in the air sub-consciously and caught the blade," Sano finished.
"So? I was thinking about something right?" Ryuu asked.
"Yeah, so?"
"So, now you see the dangers of thinking!" Ryuu said throwing his hands in the air.
"Ryuu, if you don't keep your hand still I can't bandage the cut," The Nurse said.
"Oops, gomen."
"Alright, your hand's all cleaned up and bandaged. I suggest you don't use that hand at least until the wound closes. O.k?"
"I'll try ma'am. But I ain't gonna promise ya nothin'. Thanks for fixing up my hand," Ryuu said walking out of the office.
After they left Sano noticed something weird, "Hey, who was the weird looking dude in a gi wearing a pompadour?"
Ryuu turned to Nabiki, "See? I'm not the only one who thinks it looks like a pompadour!"
Nabiki shook her head in exasperation, "That was Kuno, and now that I think about it...He does look like he's got a pompadour..."
"Sheesh! Must I point the obvious out to you people?" Ryuu said.
Sano laughed at his friends' antics and soon Ryuu and Nabiki had joined in.
Ryuu looked over to Nabiki and saw a smile on her face, not one of her fake smiles but a true smile of happiness, "For the first time in known history, the Ice Queen of Furinkan shows the a blessed few a true smile," Ryuu said, smiling.
Sano looked at Nabiki, "Yeah...Man, that's one smile too."
Nabiki blushed at the compliments and immediately attempted one of her emotionless stares...but failed. (Warning: This smile is not for those with queezy stomaches.)
Ryuu laughed at Nabiki's attempt to hide her smile, "Now that's just scary. You should know from experience that after a good laugh, you must have control of your laughter for an emotionless stare."
"Otherwise it just looks weird," Sano added.
Ryuu, still laughing, started walking towards the school gates.
"Hey!" Sano yelled, "Where are you goin'?"
"I'm goin' back to the dojo. Class is too boring for me. I'll see you guys later," Ryuu said waving as he walked out the gate.
"You can do that?" Sano asked.
"Do what?" Nabiki said.
"Just...walk out of here like that."
"Yup, it makes you wonder doesn't it?"
"Yeah...just how safe are we when we walk around this school anyway?"
"The lack of security has me wondering just that."
"Uh-huh. Geez, what'll the world come to next? 5 teenagers running around in miniskirts fighting youmas?"
"We'll never know..."
Sano and Nabiki both turned around to go to their respective classes.
/The Gates of Furinkan High---After School
"Where is that girl?" Ranma sighed.
"Hi. Who are you looking for?" A girl said walking up to Ranma.
"I'm looking for Akane. I don't know how to get to the dojo from here...Do you know her?"
"Yeah. She's one of my friends."
"Ranma!" A voice shouted from behind Ranma.
"Huh? Oh, hey, Akane!" Ranma said, smiling one of his turn-your-legs-to-jelly smiles.
Akane stumbled a little and then slowed down as she came close to where Ranma was standing, " Hi, Sayuri! What's up?"
"Nothing...just inspecting your new 'roomie'..." Sayuri said looking Ranma up and down.
Ranma started fidgeting when Sayuri's gaze lingered below the belt. Grabbing Akane's hand he said, "C'mon Akane. I wanna go home and train."
"Uh, O.k." Akane said, She started blushing as soon as Ranma grabbed her hand, "Bye, Sayuri! See you tomorrow."
As Ranma and Akane disappeared down the road Sayuri spoke to herself, "Train for what though? You haven't seen the last of me, Ranma!" Sayuri started on her way home as hentai thoughts invaded her mind.
/Dojo
Ryuu sat in the middle of the dojo practicing his elemental...fire. (Surprise!)
A fire ball hovered in front of Ryuu and as he concentrated it flew in intricate patterns in the air all around him. Suddenly a wolf bounded in and knocked Ryuu over. With Ryuu's concentration lost the ball of fire disappeared.
"Hey! Stop it, Jewel!" Ryuu said laughing as Jewel, the spirit wolf, licked his face. As Ryuu managed to sit up Jewel sat in front of him looking towards the dojo doors.
"Couldn't resist could you, Ryo?"
Ryo shrugged as he entered, "I got bored."
"Join the club...hey, are Ranma and Akane home yet?"
"No, not yet. Why?" Ryo asked raising an eyebrow.
Ryuu just smiled an evil smile, "I just thought of a way to free myself of boredom," Did I mention the evil smile?
As Ryuu left the dojo Ryo rubbed his temples as if he had a headache, "Why do I suddenly have a bad feeling about this?"
/Random Road to The Tendo House
"So what are you going to train for?" Akane asked Ranma.
"I'm gonna pratice my Elemental," Ranma simply stated.
"Elemental? What's that?"
"It's...How do I explain it...Me, Ryo, an' Ryuu all have powers over certain elements. We can make those elements appear and dissapear at our will, and we can use them in battle too."
"So what are you guys mastering?"
"Ryuu is a no-brainer."
"Fire, right?"
"Yup. I'm mastering Ice."
"And Ryo?"
"Ryo's mastered them all. To tell you the truth he taught Ryuu and is teaching me."
"So the Elementals are, I presume, Fire, Water, Ice, Wind, Earth, Metal, and...that's it, right?"
"Close. There is no Water, only Ice. And instead of Wind, we have Spirit. And Ryo has mastered metal...but it's a forbidden Elemental."
"Why?"
"Metal is the most deadliest of all the Elementals and is practically unbeatable."
"Which are the most dangerous?"
"In order? Metal, Spirit, Fire, Ice, then Earth. Earth is more of a defensive Elemental. Ryo required that me n' Ryuu both learn it."
"Has Ryo ever had to use Metal in a battle?"
"Yeah, once. He had to use it in a battle against the Musk tribe in China. We don't talk about it though."
"Why not?"
"Bad memories."
"Oh. Anyway, I don't understand what Spirit is. Can you explain it?"
"Sure. Spirit allows you to use the spirits of animals. Ryo's always had a soft spot for wolves, so he has this one spirit he keeps around everyday. Her name is Jewel."
"Can I see her when we get home?"
"Only those who can use Elementals can see the Spirit technique..."
"Can I learn how to use Elemental?"
"You sure are asking a lot of questions you know that?"
Akane just giggled and nodded.
"sigh I guess so. Our Elementals are chosen for us by the Spirits. Whatever fits your personality best is whatever you get...the Elements I told you are only the ones Ryo told us. But I'm almost 100 percent sure there are more than just those 5..."
"We can ask Ryo when we get home. C'mon!" Akane said as she began running towards the dojo.
"Hold on!" Ranma shouted as he jumped on the fence and ran to catch up.
As Ranma and Akane ran off a pair of eyes had been unknowingly watching them.
"Well, well...you two seem like such a sweet couple...I think I'll try a number I got from some women awhile ago. What was her name? I know it started with a 'U'...oh well," Ryuu whispered to himself as he sat on a branch of a nearby tree.
Somewhere on the otherside of Tokyo a tanned woman with white hair sneezed, "I wonder if Skuld's saying things about me again...?"
Ryuu sensed a movement on the branch above him. His hand shot up and stilled the movement. As he slowly brought his hand down a squirrel is seen struggling in his hand. Ryuu moves the squirrel in front of his face and looked at it with an evil smile on his face. His grip slightly tightened on th squirrel's neck. We hear a faint snap as the squirrel stops struggling. Suddenly the squirrel bursts into flames.
"...heh...fire..."
To Be Continued...
A/N:
Author: It seems there is more to the Saotomes that meets the eye.
Ryuu: Alright, you know the drill.
Author: Review and tell us what you think.
Ryuu: For those of you wondering. No, this will not turn into a crossover with Rurouni Kenshin or Oh My Goddess.
Author: Nope. No crossovers. Just guest appearances. No more. No less.
Ryuu: We need your help with something!
Author: What?
Ryuu: slaps author upside the head Akane's Elemental dumbass!
Author: Wait. We're actually going to give her an Element?
Ryuu: sigh Yes, yes we are.
Author: Oh, ok. Well then I need everyone who reviews to tell me what she should have.
Ryuu: SHE CAN'T HAVE FIRE!!!
Author: You can even make an Elemental up. Just like Spirit.
Ryo: I resent that.
Ryuu: She can't have FIRE!!!
Author: Breath, Ryu, breath!
Ryuu: deep breathes ok...ok, I'm better now.
Author: Review and vote for Akane's Element! Please!
Ryo: Bye!
Author: Remember kids...Crack kills.
Ryuu: Twitch
Ryo: Save me...