Step One: Battling It Out

"Black!" screamed Grace. "She said turn it into a pigeon!"

"I did," said Sirius, looking at her confused.

"Then why is it a turkey?!" cried a frustrated Grace.

"Is that what a turkey looks like?" asked Sirius, a grin coming onto his face.

"I'm sure Professor McGonagall has made an error in making us partners," said Grace. "She probably never intended that. She knows we hate each other."

"Yeah, I'm thinking that's why she did it," said Sirius as if it was the most obvious thing in the world.

"Ugh, just because she hates you doesn't mean she hates me!" said Grace.

"Yeah, I hate to break it to you, but people don't normally like people who bump into them," Sirius said pointedly.

"You are the one who bumped into her!" said Grace.

"Oh yeah," Sirius smiled. "I did, didn't I?"

"Stop smirking! This is all your fault! I'm talking to her as soon as class is finished."

Grace went up to Professor McGonagall the second class ended.

"What's she doing?" Lily asked Sirius.

"She trying to convince Professor McGonagall I'm an idiot," replied Sirius, rolling his eyes.

"I think she already knew that, mate," said James.

"BUT YOU CAN'T EXPECT ME TO BE WITH BLACK THE ENTIRE YEAR! I'LL PROBABLY COMMIT SUICIDE OR SOMETHING!" they heard Grace scream from the front of the room.

"Sounds like it's going well," said James.

"Yeah- er- let's get to Charms," said Lily, pushing the two out of the room.

Grace joined them in the room a few moments later.

"You were doing well, Grace," said Sirius. "You were completely convincing at that suicide part. I know that teachers love to be yelled at."

"Shut it, Black," said Grace. "I never want to see your ugly face again!"

Sirius put a hand to his chest. "You've cut me deep."

"I take it that she didn't let you switch partners," said Lily.

"No! She said while she completely sympathized 'cause Black is an annoying prat," she emphasized for Sirius' benefit, "that she couldn't change it because Black and I have major issues we need to work out. Personally, I think only one of us has major issues, and it isn't me."

"Yeah, I wouldn't put your money on that, Greenleaf," said Sirius.

Grace and Sirius kept "accidentally" setting each other's hair on fire, so Professor Flitwick put them on opposite sides of the room.

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Lily ran down the stairs into the common room later that night. She walked over to where James and Remus were sitting, playing chess.

"Save me!" she cried.

"What's wrong?" James asked, concerned.

"If I have to listen to any more of Sirius' faults, I'm going to flip!" she cried.

"Ah Grace," said Remus, capturing James' queen with his bishop.

"Bugger!" cried James glancing puzzledly at the chessboard.

"Yes, Grace! We need to do something about those two! I mean, it's gotten so incredibly awful! Why can't they just like each other?" Lily said as she took James' next move for him, capturing Remus' bishop.

James began laughing. "Sorry," he said when the other two gave him weird looks. "I was just thinking about them setting each other's hair on fire."

Lily smiled. "That was funny. Not as good as when we turned him into a squirrel, but..."

Remus burst out laughing. "I'd forgotten about that!"

"I don't recall it being funny," pouted James.

"Of course it wasn't," soothed Lily with a smile. She took her next move after Remus. "Hey! That's it!"

"You want to turn them into fluffy animals?" asked James, gasping as Remus took another one of his chess pieces.

"No, James. I have better idea," said Lily, making another move on the board. "Checkmate."

Remus and James both stared at the board. "How the bloody hell do you always do that?" asked James.

"I'm brilliant," Lily said simply. "Now, listen up."

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"Comeon, Grace!" said Lily. "I promised James I'd meet him here!"

She pulled Grace down the hallway.

"I don't know why you need me to come to your make out sessions," complained Grace.

"Oh please, we don't have them in this hall. It's much further away," said Lily. "Just come with me."

"The Charms classroom?" asked Grace. "Why are we here?"

"I'll tell you when we get inside," said Lily. She quickly pushed Grace into the room.

"What's he doing here?" asked Grace.

"What's she doing here?" asked Sirius.

They found themselves pushed onto chairs and immobilized with a few well-aimed spells.

"This," said Lily, "is a program similar to the one James and Sirius took. Except, instead of you both learning about the opposite gender, you're going to learn about each other."

"And you're going to like it, or else," said James.

"You don't expect the teachers to let you go through with this!" cried Grace. "We'll tell them you're holding us against our will!"

Lily, James, and Remus all burst out laughing.

"Go on thinking that, Grace," said James.

"What do you mean?" asked Sirius.

Professors Flitwick, McGonagall, and Dumbledore stepped into the room.

"Thank you for coming to save us!" cried Grace. "These three have gone psycho!"

"I'm glad to see you got them here," said Professor Dumbledore.

Grace and Sirius gasped. "No bloody way!" cried Sirius.

"Language, Mr. Black," said Professor McGonagall, giving him a stern look.

"Sorry, Professor. But why are you doing this to us?" asked Sirius.

"Why?!" repeated Grace.

"Your rivalry has become a problem," said Professor Dumbledore. "It has caused many in-class distractions, as well as outside dangers."

"How?" asked Grace. "I mean, I know about the in-class part."

"You have sent three children so far to the hospital wing with the spells that have missed the other

person in the hallway," said Professor McGonagall.

"Three isn't really that many! It happens!" said Sirius.

"Let me rephrase that," said Professor McGonagall. "You have sent three children so far today to the hospital wing."

"That doesn't include the two you sent from my class," said Professor Flitwick.

"We didn't mean to set their robes on fire," said Grace. "It was just a small mistake."

"Hey, those happened to be my favourite robes!" said James.

"Oh I said I was sorry!" said Grace. "Besides, they look better now."

"Stuff it, Greenleaf," said Sirius.

"Black, it's your fault we're here in the first place!" cried Grace.

"My fault?! Who turned Frank Longbottom into a pigeon?" asked Sirius.

"At least I didn't turn him into a turkey," said Grace.

"Would you lay off with that already? I know what a pigeon is!" cried Sirius.

"Good luck," Professor McGonagall said, looking at the two arguing. "You'll need it." The three professors left the room.

"Maybe we should take away their wands," suggested James. "You know, while they're still immobile."

"I'm going to kill you when we get out of this!" cried Grace.

"You know, I'm not so sure they ever need their wands back," said Remus.

"Yeah right! You couldn't hurt a fly!" cried Sirius.

"Oh, he's a dead man," said Lily. "A dead man with a very short memory."

"You know, this is kind of fun to watch," said James. "Let's just let them argue for this session."

"Sure," said Remus. He said a quick spell to transfigure a piece of paper. "Popcorn?"

"Why thank you, Remus," said Lily.

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Lily came to breakfast the next morning with Grace in tow.

"Hello Grace," said Remus. "Pleasant morning, is it not?"

She shot him a dirty look, and sat down.

Sirius glared at her, and she glared back.

"Why aren't they talking?" asked Peter. "Did someone put a spell on them?"

"Peter, old chum," began James, "sometimes when you yell too much, you lose your voice."

He, Lily, and Remus all burst out laughing.

"What? Why don't they just go to the nurse?" asked Peter. "She can heal anything."

"Except when she's on strict orders not to," Lily said cheerfully. "Grace found that out the hard way this morning when she went up to the hospital wing."

"Funny thing, so did Sirius," said James. He received a plate of eggs in his face from Sirius.

"You know what's nice about being a head girl?" asked Lily. "I can give out detentions!"

"Give him one!" shouted Peter. "He threw my eggs. I was eating those, Sirius!"

Sirius rolled his eyes.

Grace nodded at this point and gestured wildly, affirming her positive feelings for Sirius getting a detention.

"Hey, I know!" said James. "We can give them-"

"No!" said Lily, covering his mouth with her hand. "We're saving that for later."

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A/N: thanks for all the beautiful reviews on the last chapter! they were awesome!

Cassandrah Potter- my first reviewer AND someone from the past! Yay!

Seren Lunar Echo- I'm glad you thought it was funny! I was kinda worried. I hope this one's ok. (crosses fingers)

BlueTwilight24- ah Niltiac, the reason I haven't updated in a month. Sok. I still love you.

Kat44- I shall try hard to write more chapters... faster. I'm bad at the faster part. Sorry!

Stalker124 – wow.

dont-give-me-a-pen- I hope I used another awesome word in this chapter ( I personally think pigeon is an awesome word, but my sanity HAS been questioned). I still love your name!

Park Boy- thanks for reading my other one! I HOPE this lives up to the first...

SummerRainForever- peter, so stupid. Hehe.

siriusforeva- yeah they will! And I will try to drag out their learning as long as humanly possible...

gldnsunsprite21- thanks for the love! I'll try to make the rest of it sound awesome, too.