Chapter Two: Dead Hearts
I'm eleven years old today, but I hardly look different. Same long black hair, same pale face with its childish cheeks. Same pouty old lips, same freckles.
But I'm eleven.
Mommy promised me a cake today, and Daddy promised he'd be gone all day, out with the horses. Daddy doesn't love me.
Daddy loves the horses.
I put on my best dress and went out to seek Enna, one of my only friends. She's an old woman and she likes to give me treats to eat.
I knock on Enna's door. I hear her dog Mupsy yip and yip. I smile. I play with Mupsy a lot, even though she's a real feisty pup.
Enna answers, looking beautiful in a long black dress that she told me she wore to her husband's funeral. "Samara, what a lovely surprise."
She lets me in and Mupsy jumps and claws at my knees. I giggle and pet her appreciatively. Enna tries to look happy but I can see in her face that she is sad.
"What is wrong, Enna?"
"Nothing, dear. Happy birthday," she smiles, and holds out a box.
"Thank you," I say, taking the box from her. I wonder what it is. Last time, she gave me many coins to drop down my well.
"Here are ten coins, since you are ten today," Enna had said, smiling. "For ten days, drop one coin into that well of yours and make a wish."
But I didn't. That was a lot of money, and I was too scared to drop anything into the well. The coins are still at home, wrapped up in the pink silk.
I tear the wrapper. It is a videotape. How odd. But then again, Enna is an odd old woman.
"Enna? What's this?"
"Watch it, my love," Enna smiles in a strange way. She picks up a bowl from the table and holds it up.
"Enna? What are you do--"
She smashes the bowl against my head. I cry out and fall to the ground. A sudden vision flashes before me: a teenage boy and girl screaming my name. A white light comes, and the last thing I see are those familiar yellow eyes...
( O )
"Is she dead?"
"Appears to be. Can't find a pulse."
"How did she come to be dead?"
"Concussion, sir. We found shards of glass in her temple. You're her father, aren't you? Richard Morgan?"
"No, I'm not. I'm her guardian."
"Ah, yes."
I blink rapidly and look at them. I'm standing in a hospital, it seems. Daddy and a doctor are talking.
"What are you talking about?" I holler. "Daddy, I'm alive, Daddy! Can you hear me, Daddy?!"
He doesn't respond. He is talking in earnest with the doctor. I look around the room. It's like no one can see me.
"Hey! Hello out there!" I scream. "HELLO!"
No one even so much glances in my direction. I start to cry, but I can't. It's like I'm physically unable to do it. I look around the room. Why is--?
There's a girl lying on the hospital bed nearest to me. She looks about my age. Why is everyone paying so much attention to her? I'm here.
Poor girl, though. From what I understand, she's dead. I can't clearly see her face, since her hair is covering it. I walk up to her. I figure if no one's paying attention to me, I can touch her.
I feel her deadly white hand. Cold as ice. Maybe she is dead. She is very still. I touch the long, smooth hair, feeling like a doll's hair. I smooth it back from her face.
I scream. And scream and scream and scream.
The girl is.... me.
Her eyes are closed, and she's got blood pouring down the side of her face. Well, dried blood, anyhow. And there are shards of glass sticking out of her head. The same colour glass as Enna's pot...
Enna!
I gasp. She... killed me! I'm.... I'm dead!
I scream again. That's why no one can hear or see me. That's why I can see my body lying here, right now. I holler and scream. Finally, I collapse on my body.
I can't breathe. I can't blink. I don't need to do any of the normal human things anymore. I am nothing more than a spirit, which no one can see.
Maybe if I settle my spirit back in my body, I can become alive again! Yes, that sounds logical. I lay myself over my body, and I will myself to settle back in.
Nothing's happening. I'm still a ghost. Oh my God, I'm a ghost. I can't cry. I want to cry. But I can't. Where's Mommy?
I look down and, to my shock, I have no clothes on. But I don't have any bodily features to hide. No flat stomach, no tiny breasts, no... anything. All I have is... hair on my head. I wonder if I even have a face.
I have hands, though. I can see them. And I have feet.
Daddy is done talking with the doctor. He walks over to my body.
"Daddy," I breathe.
He looks down at it, expressionless. He smoothes back my hair the way I did. He touches the dried blood.
"How am I ever going to tell Anna?" he murmurs. "This will break her heart." He reaches down and gives my dead hand a squeeze. "Rest in peace, little Samara. Finally." He picks up my body, his face the colour of mine.
I nearly feel sick at the sight of my body. It is a weird sensation. It just flops around, useless, unalive. Daddy looks down at the body, biting his lip.
I know Daddy isn't really sad. He feels the way he would if a long-distant cousin he hardly knew died. I want to hurtle at him, but instead I follow him all the way home, touching my body, not able to believe I am dead.
Mommy comes running out, holding her skirts. Colour drains from her face, too. She looks at my body and claps her hands to her mouth.
"What happened?" she says, tears falling down her face. I try to wrap my arms around her but I can't. Apparently I cannot touch a mortal.
"That crazy old woman killed her!" he screamed. "That crazy Enna woman! I warned you she was fishy. She... she hit her with a pot. Samara never woke up."
Mommy starts sobbing uncontrollably. She touches my hand. "Samara, wake up. Please, baby. Please!"
"Anna! She's dead!" Daddy hollers. "Let her go." His expression is unbelieving.
"It's her birthday!" Mommy cries, dropping to her knees. "It's her birthday! I promised her a cake! I had a little present for her, a beautiful white dress that I knew she'd love---" Her words are drowned out by sobbing. "She can't go yet!"
If I was able to, I would've been crying as much as Mommy. I tentatively put out a hand to touch Mommy, but she is unwilling to touch anyone, hence why I cannot touch her. I put a hand to where my heart would be. I feel bad for Mommy. She is feeling pain.
I decide to leave. I cannot take anymore of Mommy's sadness. I feel empty now. I glide over to the well, its haunting stone glaring at me.
What was supposed to happen? I wonder. I just have this feeling about this well. Something should've happened here, but it didn't.
But I'm still dead.
I wonder, though, if this is really supposed to be death. I imagined either going to Heaven or going to Hell. But no one told me I would stay on earth.
Yet I have this feeling that I don't belong here. I'm not supposed to be on earth, I was supposed to have moved on. Is this... connected to my powers?
The caller will pay.
I'm eleven years old today, but I hardly look different. Same long black hair, same pale face with its childish cheeks. Same pouty old lips, same freckles.
But I'm eleven.
Mommy promised me a cake today, and Daddy promised he'd be gone all day, out with the horses. Daddy doesn't love me.
Daddy loves the horses.
I put on my best dress and went out to seek Enna, one of my only friends. She's an old woman and she likes to give me treats to eat.
I knock on Enna's door. I hear her dog Mupsy yip and yip. I smile. I play with Mupsy a lot, even though she's a real feisty pup.
Enna answers, looking beautiful in a long black dress that she told me she wore to her husband's funeral. "Samara, what a lovely surprise."
She lets me in and Mupsy jumps and claws at my knees. I giggle and pet her appreciatively. Enna tries to look happy but I can see in her face that she is sad.
"What is wrong, Enna?"
"Nothing, dear. Happy birthday," she smiles, and holds out a box.
"Thank you," I say, taking the box from her. I wonder what it is. Last time, she gave me many coins to drop down my well.
"Here are ten coins, since you are ten today," Enna had said, smiling. "For ten days, drop one coin into that well of yours and make a wish."
But I didn't. That was a lot of money, and I was too scared to drop anything into the well. The coins are still at home, wrapped up in the pink silk.
I tear the wrapper. It is a videotape. How odd. But then again, Enna is an odd old woman.
"Enna? What's this?"
"Watch it, my love," Enna smiles in a strange way. She picks up a bowl from the table and holds it up.
"Enna? What are you do--"
She smashes the bowl against my head. I cry out and fall to the ground. A sudden vision flashes before me: a teenage boy and girl screaming my name. A white light comes, and the last thing I see are those familiar yellow eyes...
( O )
"Is she dead?"
"Appears to be. Can't find a pulse."
"How did she come to be dead?"
"Concussion, sir. We found shards of glass in her temple. You're her father, aren't you? Richard Morgan?"
"No, I'm not. I'm her guardian."
"Ah, yes."
I blink rapidly and look at them. I'm standing in a hospital, it seems. Daddy and a doctor are talking.
"What are you talking about?" I holler. "Daddy, I'm alive, Daddy! Can you hear me, Daddy?!"
He doesn't respond. He is talking in earnest with the doctor. I look around the room. It's like no one can see me.
"Hey! Hello out there!" I scream. "HELLO!"
No one even so much glances in my direction. I start to cry, but I can't. It's like I'm physically unable to do it. I look around the room. Why is--?
There's a girl lying on the hospital bed nearest to me. She looks about my age. Why is everyone paying so much attention to her? I'm here.
Poor girl, though. From what I understand, she's dead. I can't clearly see her face, since her hair is covering it. I walk up to her. I figure if no one's paying attention to me, I can touch her.
I feel her deadly white hand. Cold as ice. Maybe she is dead. She is very still. I touch the long, smooth hair, feeling like a doll's hair. I smooth it back from her face.
I scream. And scream and scream and scream.
The girl is.... me.
Her eyes are closed, and she's got blood pouring down the side of her face. Well, dried blood, anyhow. And there are shards of glass sticking out of her head. The same colour glass as Enna's pot...
Enna!
I gasp. She... killed me! I'm.... I'm dead!
I scream again. That's why no one can hear or see me. That's why I can see my body lying here, right now. I holler and scream. Finally, I collapse on my body.
I can't breathe. I can't blink. I don't need to do any of the normal human things anymore. I am nothing more than a spirit, which no one can see.
Maybe if I settle my spirit back in my body, I can become alive again! Yes, that sounds logical. I lay myself over my body, and I will myself to settle back in.
Nothing's happening. I'm still a ghost. Oh my God, I'm a ghost. I can't cry. I want to cry. But I can't. Where's Mommy?
I look down and, to my shock, I have no clothes on. But I don't have any bodily features to hide. No flat stomach, no tiny breasts, no... anything. All I have is... hair on my head. I wonder if I even have a face.
I have hands, though. I can see them. And I have feet.
Daddy is done talking with the doctor. He walks over to my body.
"Daddy," I breathe.
He looks down at it, expressionless. He smoothes back my hair the way I did. He touches the dried blood.
"How am I ever going to tell Anna?" he murmurs. "This will break her heart." He reaches down and gives my dead hand a squeeze. "Rest in peace, little Samara. Finally." He picks up my body, his face the colour of mine.
I nearly feel sick at the sight of my body. It is a weird sensation. It just flops around, useless, unalive. Daddy looks down at the body, biting his lip.
I know Daddy isn't really sad. He feels the way he would if a long-distant cousin he hardly knew died. I want to hurtle at him, but instead I follow him all the way home, touching my body, not able to believe I am dead.
Mommy comes running out, holding her skirts. Colour drains from her face, too. She looks at my body and claps her hands to her mouth.
"What happened?" she says, tears falling down her face. I try to wrap my arms around her but I can't. Apparently I cannot touch a mortal.
"That crazy old woman killed her!" he screamed. "That crazy Enna woman! I warned you she was fishy. She... she hit her with a pot. Samara never woke up."
Mommy starts sobbing uncontrollably. She touches my hand. "Samara, wake up. Please, baby. Please!"
"Anna! She's dead!" Daddy hollers. "Let her go." His expression is unbelieving.
"It's her birthday!" Mommy cries, dropping to her knees. "It's her birthday! I promised her a cake! I had a little present for her, a beautiful white dress that I knew she'd love---" Her words are drowned out by sobbing. "She can't go yet!"
If I was able to, I would've been crying as much as Mommy. I tentatively put out a hand to touch Mommy, but she is unwilling to touch anyone, hence why I cannot touch her. I put a hand to where my heart would be. I feel bad for Mommy. She is feeling pain.
I decide to leave. I cannot take anymore of Mommy's sadness. I feel empty now. I glide over to the well, its haunting stone glaring at me.
What was supposed to happen? I wonder. I just have this feeling about this well. Something should've happened here, but it didn't.
But I'm still dead.
I wonder, though, if this is really supposed to be death. I imagined either going to Heaven or going to Hell. But no one told me I would stay on earth.
Yet I have this feeling that I don't belong here. I'm not supposed to be on earth, I was supposed to have moved on. Is this... connected to my powers?
The caller will pay.