TITLE: Memory Lane
SUMMARY: AU – John Carter leaves his past behind him, moves in with his parents and picks up a job at CountyGeneral. Abby Lockhart is dealing with her own personal issues. Carby.
DISCLAIMER: I own nothing.
AUTHOR'S NOTE: This is my first attempt at fanfiction, so please – read and review and be kind! Thanks!
John glanced down at the gray tombstone once more before backing away from the spot. Tears clouded his eyes and he couldn't believe he'd be leaving after all these years.
"Daddy?"
He turned to the tiny face in the car window. He swallowed back his tears and took his seat behind the wheel, his heart heavy. His somber face worried even himself and he tried to smile at the children in the back of the car.
"We're going to live with Grandma and Grandpa," he stated, his voice hoarse and his throat aching. "You guys will love Chicago."
He glanced through the rear-view mirror at Tristan and Anna. Anna, barely two years old would never remember her mother and Tristan, just six, would only have distant blurry memories to cling to.
"Daddy?" Tristan began again, "Mommy's never going to wake up, will she?"
John choked on a sob and shook his head.
"No, sweetie, Mommy's never going to wake up."
Tristan thumped against the back of his leather seat and stared out the window. John tried to focus his attention on the road ahead of them, but his mind kept slipping back to Tracy. Images of twirling her around the kitchen to the tunes of The Beatles, her favorites. Or biking down their street with Tristan on his bike between them and Anna strapped in a seat behind him. He couldn't shake off the grief he'd been feeling for the past few months and he couldn't seem to grasp the fact that he was alone with two children to raise. It scared him to death.
It was hours before his car turned onto the long, winding Carter driveway and Tristan and Anna were both sleeping peacefully in the back of the car. He woke Tristan gently and picked Anna up in his arms. Taking Tristan's hand, he approached the heavy mahogany doors of the mansion and run the bell.
"We're here," he said to Tristan, patting the boy lightly on the head and ruffling his hair. Tristan took John's free hand and squeezed it tightly. They hadn't been to visit Jack and Eleanor in years and Tristan was understandably nervous.
A maid answered the door with a smile.
"Dr. Carter," she greeted, "Your parents have been waiting. Follow me, please."
As he walked down the wide, high-ceilinged hallway with his son nudged against his hip and his daughter sleeping against his shoulder, John was overcome with a horrible sadness that he couldn't shake. No matter how much he tried to convince himself that things would be okay now, he knew he was failing.
He had quit his job in New York and who knew what would happen now. His wife, his backbone, was gone. He remembered the night that police had knocked on his door, their heads bowed, their eyes pitying. He had fallen against the threshold of the doorway, desperately trying to get some air, fighting. Even now, months later, all he saw before him was an expanse of darkness. He had children to raise and god knew he couldn't do it alone. He was left alone in the world – the one thing he had feared the most all his life. He had resorted to returning to his parents' house. His son was lost in the world without a mother and forced to leave his friends – his last strand of stability – behind and his daughter, so young and innocent and his daughter would be forced to grow up in the world with no female influence.
He would cry if he weren't walking down his parents' hallway.
They had reached the end of the hallway and he stood facing the informal living room. His parents were sitting at the couch, talking quietly between themselves. His mother looked up from her seat and her face lit with recognition.
"John!" she exclaimed, jumping up and approaching him. John could feel Tristan burrowing further against his body and he squeezed the little boy's hand tightly in reassurance.
"Mom," he said as she kissed each of his cheeks respectively.
"And you are Tristan," Eleanor stated as she crouched down to be face-to-face with the young boy, "My, how you've grown! You're looking more and more like your daddy everyday." Tristan smiled shyly, though it was apparent that he was uncomfortable with the situation.
"Tristan, say hello to Grandma Eleanor," John said softly, not at all reproachful. He knew how badly it would reflect on him if he didn't remind his son of his manners in his parents' presence.
"Hi, Grandma Eleanor and Grandpa Jack," was the meek response.
"Well, you all must be starving!" Eleanor exclaimed, gesturing with her hands toward the dining room, "We've had dinner ready for a while now. Come and let's chow down!" She winked at Tristan and beckoned her husband to follow her.
Jack Carter lagged behind his wife and fell into step next to John. He put a firm arm on his son's shoulder and said quietly, "It'll be okay, kiddo."
John smiled appreciatively, but his smile disappeared quickly and was replaced by a look of sad recollection. Everything was so screwed up.
"Do you have any plans for the near future?" Jack called him back from his silent reverie.
"Yeah, I got a job at Cook County General. Heard of it?"
Jack nodded his head slowly, "Couldn't get in Northwestern or Mercy?"
"I called your contacts, but they couldn't fit me in. They're on doctor overload as it is. The only place that seemed to need an ER doctor was County."
Jack chuckled, "They're a government sponsored hospital. Downtown Chicago. You know, not exactly upperclass, but you'll be okay. I have faith in you." He smiled encouragingly and John tried to mirror his expression.
Jack put his hand on Tristan's shoulder.
"So, young man, how do you like horse-back riding?"
A/N: Please read and review. Also, I spent more time on Carter's life than I anticipated. I'll get to the ER in the next chapter – I promise. A