I would like to thank everyone who helped review my story! :D I shall try
and improve by giving more details and including spacing between each line
and paragraph. Thanks a lot!
The field was suddenly cloaked in soporific silence. Alanna of Trebond? Was it really her? It had been a few years since the rather hushed- up dismissal and exile of the famous Alanna, girl knight wannabe. Although it was not publicized, but rumors spread from the castle to the city and even beyond the borders. Who did not know her?
King Roald stood stunned, his mouth agape. His face had turned an ashen white, refusing to believe that it was Alanna, Alanna of Trebond who had just won. The Alanna who had been exiled for a few years and was never expected to come back and bother them anymore. He took it hard- the exiled page had left her training and came back a few years later, better than the city's best.
Alanna surveyed the field, a little smug. Her eyes rested on each and every one of her friends. Alex, the beaten Alex, looked shocked and a little awed. Roald did not look shocked, he was just grinning widely, as though he had expected it to happen. Lastly, she slowly and shakily turned her head to fix her glance at Jon. The person she had missed the most. Jon had not changed. Still the same old coppery hair and charming smile, which was now disfigured into a gasp of disbelief. Alanna felt her heart beat a teeny weenie bit faster.
King Roald snapped out of his stupor first. His voice trembling a bit before regaining its authority, he said," Alanna! What a nice surprise! Let us present your prize to you." He tried to deviate from the topic. Jonathan of Conte stepped from the raised platform, the crown in a hand. Calmly, he walked towards Alanna. Alanna felt her body freeze.
Suddenly, someone screamed. It was a shriek of terror. All eyes swirled towards the commotion. It was an arrow flying through the air, speeding at uncanny speed towards its mark- Jonathan. Alanna immediately reacted. In the blink of an eye, she had thrown herself onto Jonathan, pulling him down to the ground. The arrow flashed above them and hit the pole of a tent. It was wedged straight into the pole.
Chaos broke out. Everyone screamed and tried to get out of the field. Ladies gathered their heavy layers of skirts and grabbed their children's hand and tried to run away. The men followed suit. Guards and Knights began to run towards the direction of the arrow. King Roald stepped forward and screamed," Don't panic!" His voice resonated throughout the field. Immediately, everyone stopped and turned to face him. "Do not panic." He said. "Everyone is safe. There is no doubt that those fools who shot the arrow would not try again. Now, can all the women and children leave first. Men, please wait until the field has been cleared before leaving." Turning to the nobles, he said courteously, "Please proceed to the castle. That includes you, Lady Alanna."
The field was suddenly cloaked in soporific silence. Alanna of Trebond? Was it really her? It had been a few years since the rather hushed- up dismissal and exile of the famous Alanna, girl knight wannabe. Although it was not publicized, but rumors spread from the castle to the city and even beyond the borders. Who did not know her?
King Roald stood stunned, his mouth agape. His face had turned an ashen white, refusing to believe that it was Alanna, Alanna of Trebond who had just won. The Alanna who had been exiled for a few years and was never expected to come back and bother them anymore. He took it hard- the exiled page had left her training and came back a few years later, better than the city's best.
Alanna surveyed the field, a little smug. Her eyes rested on each and every one of her friends. Alex, the beaten Alex, looked shocked and a little awed. Roald did not look shocked, he was just grinning widely, as though he had expected it to happen. Lastly, she slowly and shakily turned her head to fix her glance at Jon. The person she had missed the most. Jon had not changed. Still the same old coppery hair and charming smile, which was now disfigured into a gasp of disbelief. Alanna felt her heart beat a teeny weenie bit faster.
King Roald snapped out of his stupor first. His voice trembling a bit before regaining its authority, he said," Alanna! What a nice surprise! Let us present your prize to you." He tried to deviate from the topic. Jonathan of Conte stepped from the raised platform, the crown in a hand. Calmly, he walked towards Alanna. Alanna felt her body freeze.
Suddenly, someone screamed. It was a shriek of terror. All eyes swirled towards the commotion. It was an arrow flying through the air, speeding at uncanny speed towards its mark- Jonathan. Alanna immediately reacted. In the blink of an eye, she had thrown herself onto Jonathan, pulling him down to the ground. The arrow flashed above them and hit the pole of a tent. It was wedged straight into the pole.
Chaos broke out. Everyone screamed and tried to get out of the field. Ladies gathered their heavy layers of skirts and grabbed their children's hand and tried to run away. The men followed suit. Guards and Knights began to run towards the direction of the arrow. King Roald stepped forward and screamed," Don't panic!" His voice resonated throughout the field. Immediately, everyone stopped and turned to face him. "Do not panic." He said. "Everyone is safe. There is no doubt that those fools who shot the arrow would not try again. Now, can all the women and children leave first. Men, please wait until the field has been cleared before leaving." Turning to the nobles, he said courteously, "Please proceed to the castle. That includes you, Lady Alanna."