Disclaimer: I don't own Teletubbies, Lord of the Rings, or anything to do with X-men or Marvel Comics. I Wish I owned Kurt though. None of this assorted crap is mine. Not even the vocabulary. Other people made it up. If this crap were mine, I would have actual money.

AN: This fic is supposed to suck. Well, we've got that cleared up. I'm writing this because My friend Jem said I had to.

RISE OF THE TELETUBBIES: CHAPTER ONE- The plot.

Gather round, boys, girls, small hermaphrodites, and all you marmosets out there, and listen to the story I have to tell you! A long time ago there lived a group of multicolored and apparently asexual beings called Teletubbies. Now these Teletubbies lived in a land of rolling green hills, shining blue skies, and insane custard machines.

Now this land of the Teletubbies was inhabited by four of these rotund, fuzzy beings, and their King, a small child on a golden throne, way up high in the sky, and his beautiful queen, Queen Pinwheel! But the actual land was owned by various development firms, wildlife preserves, and the occasional eccentric.

The names of the Four Teletubbies were: Po, the little red one, Dipsy and Lala a yellow and green of medium size, and the big, fat, purple Teletubbie, Tinkywinky himself! Now these Teletubbies lived happily, playing on the hills around their little metal igloo, trying on hats, and standing in circles to see whose gay little stomach monitor would turn on and show films of bratty little British Children.

One day, after heeding their Queen's call to 'Tele bye-bye', the four friends were just standing around, occasionally fending off the various mushy-food machines about the bomb shelter. Suddenly Lala pipes up, saying,

"Weem, whop woo woo, goof aah, meep noo faaa!" To which Po responded,

"Too! Doo gomd ba Numf!" This debate persisted quite some time. During the course of the conversation, The Teletubbies discovered several points:
1-They were being oppressed by their almost-a-dictatorship Monarchy.
2-They would have to do some thing about this, but would need more troops
to pull it off.
3-They were disgustingly bloated and hairy.

They were about to discuss point 2, (1 being the topic of most of the conversation, and 3 being agreed upon to deal with after a new capitalist- democracy had been established) when the door of their little bomb shelter blew down in a haze of blue and octarine sparks.

To this Tinkywinky exclaimed,

"Holy Shit, man!"

Upon closer inspection, he noticed three figures lying in the dust. "Who the hell are you all?" he asked them, waddling over as fast as his fat, furry rump would allow. The other three Tele's followed suit. Brushing off the dust, the three figures stood up. The shortest one stepped forward as the last remaining moats cleared. Clearing the throat to speak, he began,

"Those two are Legolas, the tall one, and the middle tall one is Kurt. Oh, and I'm Harry. Harry Potter."

Foot notes: Hey! You! Leave a review, won'tcha?