AKA Itsuki's Guide to Spotting a Mary Sue.
It was the end of an ever so perfect day when Rihito Shimizu had to spend an hour of his life in after-school-detention. Really, he was not happy. Souka-sensei was the one who was supposed to be watching them, but someone had slipped laxatives into his coffee without his knowledge. He was going to be gone for a while.
Rihito sighed and pulled out his Tarot cards. He shuffled them and began to lay them out in a star spread as he thought of a good question to ask them. Before he could begin flipping the cards face up, a senior approached him, now that he was sure Souka-sensei wasn't coming back.
"Hey, Shimizu-san," he began. "I've had this question for you for almost a year now. I just never had the chance to ask you."
"Go ahead and ask. I won't bite."
"Thanks. This is going to sound dumb, but why do you wear a girls' undershirt with a boys' uniform?"
Rihito smirked and almost laughed at the question. He had been wearing a girls' shirt since day one of his enrollment at Seven Sisters High, but he didn't have a real explanation. Okay, so maybe he just didn't like neckties, but he decided to be funny.
"Because it is so cliché for a girl to wear a boys' uniform, I thought 'Why not do it the other way around?'" he answered, jokingly. A girl with platinum blonde hair in the next row pounded her fist into the desk and rose to her feet. She was an American transfer student, who was very feminine looking and wearing a boys' uniform. (1) She gritted her teeth and picked Rihito up by the collar of his jacket. She snarled, "Do you have a problem with me, Rihito?"
"Yes. I didn't give you permission to use my first name... especially without a title."
She growled in the back of her throat and drew back her fist. Rihito just brushed her hand away and went back to his Tarot reading. The girl threw all of his cards off his desk. His eye twitched out of annoyance, but he didn't want to resort to violence. "Hrdlicka-san, I wish you would leave me alone," he murmured calmly.
"Not until you apologize! Besides, I told you not to call me Hrdlicka-san!" she screeched. "Call me 'Akane!'"
"I thought your name was Aurora. Besides, you don't even like red."
"So?"
"So, why do you want to call yourself 'Akane' if you don't even like the color?" (2)
While this argument was going back and forth, Kazumi slid into the classroom virtually unnoticed. Aurora/Akane lifted Rihito once again by his shirt. He went half way on his own and sighed. She drew back her fist and growled, "Any last words?"
"The principal won't like this," he replied calmly.
"The principal can kiss my ass." (3)
Before Aurora/Akane could punch Rihito, Kazumi caught her wrist. He said, "You shouldn't hit Rihito. It would make me very upset."
"Yeah," the senior put in. "Plus, it's almost worse than hitting a girl."
"Oh, thanks, sempai," uttered Kazumi sarcastically. "You're really helping poor Rihito."
The senior shrugged. Aurora/Akane looked to Kazumi with a dreamy gaze in her eyes. She smiled, let go of Rihito, and hugged Kazumi at the waist. Ugh, she must be more annoying than Itou, Rihito thought as he looked at the sickening display before him.
"Anything for you, sempai," Aurora/Akane beamed. Kazumi looked a little confused. She had an orange tie, too, which meant that she was also a junior. Maybe she wasn't as up with her Japanese as she thought. "Why do you defend Shimizu like he's your bitch or something? Why don't you let me be your bitch?"
"Um... Isn't that a bad thing?" asked Rihito. Kazumi shrugged and pried the girl off his body. He then looked her in the eye as he took in a deep breath. He then, softly explained, "If you change your Japanese nick name to Shiroi, I'll think about it." (4)
"Eh?" His statement apparently confused the girl. "Why would you want me to change my name to Shiroi?"
"Because your hair's white," he replied innocently.
Her eye twitched and she slapped him across the face, hard. She then roared, "It's platinum blonde, you idiot!"
"Idiot? Excuse me, but you're the one hitting on a guy you don't even know!" yelled Rihito.
"I do so! His name is Kibaka-san!" (5)
"Um... No. My name is Kiba Kazumi."
She slapped him again and stormed away. Rihito looked a little concerned. Kazumi smirked and winked at his friend, explaining, "Don't worry. She hits like a second grader." He paused to lean in closer. In a softer voice, he added, "She has the figure of one, too."
"Probably because she weighs less than one hundred pounds. She brags about that enough." Both of them and the senior in from of them laughed slightly. (6)
Kazumi cleared his throat and then became serious. He then said, "I'm busting you out of here, Rihito. I explained that you wouldn't be peeking on the girls in gym. They believed me, so you're off the hook."
His eyes lit up at the statement. He wildly jumped on his friend and hugged him. No more detention for him, and that meant no more Aurora/Akane!
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Author's note: I'm sorry that it's short and stupid. Hey, it's an attempt at humor with a character that's usually serious. The only funny thing he (Rihito) did that I could remember was when he was hanging on Kazumi when they went into the mask shop. Anyway, I chose this fandom because it was relatively unknown, thus not littered with Mary Sues. I know that some people may be saying Rihito and Kazumi aren't Persona characters, but they are. They're from the comic book Tsumi to Batsu.
1) Have you ever noticed that a lot of the Sue characters are girls that wear boys' uniforms yet are very feminine looking, have curves in all the right places, and manage to play the really feminine role in the relationship?
2) The names for Sues are sometimes hard to pronounce. Also, some American Transfer Sues, which are a popular breed, choose some really bizarre names for themselves. She named herself "Red," even though she doesn't like the color. Also, could you imagine a Japanese man trying to say "Hrdlicka Aurora?"
3) They always try to be rebels, yet some how manage to gather enough emotion to care about some cause they barely know. Also they are geniuses with perfect grades even though they skip. Plus, they want to be non-conformist and turn into Hot-Topic Goths that listen to the ever so evil NU metal or punk.
4) The point is that she's hitting on a guy she barely knows. Some how the hot, bishonen hero (technically, that would be Keito, but I didn't feel like writing about him) falls in love with the Sue character and vice-versa, even though they barely just met.
5) She doesn't even know his name. Sometimes, Sue-authors don't even know the name of the bishonen that they are having their Sue hit on.
6) This is part of point #1. Have you ever noticed that a Sue barely weighs anything but still has a good figure? It's not possible. Also the girls that should have no figure manage to be the strongest in the land and have no muscle. Muscle weighs more than fat. Heavy girl does not always equal a fat girl. Sometimes it's a girl that could kick someone's ass because of strength.
Thanks for reading. I hope you've enjoyed this fic. If you have comments or questions about the fandom feel free to contact me. Also, yes I realize I made a Marty Stu. Think of this as my apology for that. Take care. Until later, bye.